Starts and Stops
by lissylou78
Summary: A modern day Jack and Elizabeth...
1. Chapter 1

This is something that's been rattling around in my head. It's a modern day take on Jack and Elizabeth based on the randomness of my thoughts. Remember it's fanfictio. So whilst I will attempt to stay true to Jack and Elizabeth and our idea of them...I may change it up. Depending on where it takes me. This story has taken a life of its own. Enjoy!

"I swear if Rosemary asks me one more time what I plan on doing about my current relationship status I may have to muzzle her," Auggie laughed as he patted the arm currently looped through his as they walked along the park.

"She means well," he answered empathetically. Having met Elizabeth's childhood friend on a number of occasions he had gotten to know her.

"I know she does but truly, once more and you're going to need to intervene."

"I got your back. Is everything all set for her birthday?"

"Yes, you're more than welcome to come by the way. She said to let you know."

"She dropped me a text earlier in the week. I do have something on earlier in the afternoon but she said to follow whenever."

"Yeah I'm pencilled in to sleep over so I am guessing that it's an all nighter. As far as all nighters go at this age." Auggie chuckled,

"We'll give it a good go, challenge accepted."

"I knew I could count on you." She replied. She was about to change the subject when she met a familiar gaze from about a hundred metres away. It was grinning widely at her. She broke into a smile ignoring the fact that her knees buckled momentarily. Noting the sudden change of countenance on his friend, Auggie followed her gaze. He watched as a handsome and unfamiliar face headed towards them.

"Jack!" She exclaimed in evident surprise. The familiarity of his name had Auggie standing straighter upon his approach, for he had heard plenty about Jack Thornton.

"Elizabeth," he replied with matching enthusiasm reaching for her in a hug.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I've been transferred for a project." He answered as he reluctantly released her.

"Jack, please meet my friend Auggie, Auggie, this is Jack."

"Nice to meet you." Auggie said holding his hand out to Jack.

"You too."

"Jack, Beth and I are about to grab lunch why don't you join us?" Auggie extending an invitation to their afternoon plans. Elizabeth gave Auggie a subtle sideway eyebrow raise seeing right through him, to which he pretended he did not pick up.

"I would love to, but I literally just landed. My room wasn't ready so I went for a quick walk. I have a meeting with my boss in less than an hour. Rain check?"

"Of course." Auggie replied. Elizabeth couldn't help but feel disappointed.

"If you're both free tonight, would you like to join me for dinner?" Jack countered.

"I unfortunately have something on, but Beth you're free tonight?" Elizabeth turned her head to look at Auggie to throw him a glare before turning back to Jack,

"Are you sure you don't want to sleep? Aren't you jet lagged?"

"Not at all. I would really love it if we could grab dinner and hang out. You in?"

"That sounds nice. Which hotel are you at?"

"At the Hilton. Is your number still the same?" Elizabeth nodded.

"Great, let me make a plan and give you a call a little later after my meeting. Is that okay?"

"Sounds good Jack," Jack grinned.

"I'll see you tonight." Jack gave her another hug before shaking Auggie's hand once more.

"See you then." As he began to walk back towards his hotel he stole a glance back at Elizabeth and Auggie who continued on their walk. He watched as Elizabeth gave Auggie's shoulder a playful nudge as they laughed good naturedly, seemingly picking up from where they left off. He could see that they shared a special camaraderie.

"You are such as douche," Auggie chuckled

"I know, but he's here Beth."

"Auggie, it's been years."

"He's here Beth." He repeated,

"He's not here for me. Running into him was a coincidence."

"You clearly did not see how he was looking at you. How his whole face lit up at the sight of you."

"You're totally romanticising it," she replied with a nonchalant shrug.

"And you're in denial."

"There's just so much between us. I feel we have so much that was left unsaid."

"Now's your chance."

"I'm not sure it's something you just casually bring up in conversation."

"Why not? What do you have to lose?"

Elizabeth met Jack years before during a post she took right after she graduated from her teaching degree, at a small town called Hope Valley. It was an incredible two years that to date, she holds very close to her heart. She met people who have made significant impacts in her life. Most whom remained in her every day life.

From the moment they met, there was something between Jack and Elizabeth. It wasn't until her last year in Hope Valley did their circles collide and once it did they were like moths to a flame. Somehow always within the others vicinity. Every event, or gathering, somehow almost always had them gravitating towards each other. He made Elizabeth's heart leap in ways she never had before or imagined.

It had a promising start that somehow ended with a sudden halt.

With Elizabeth leaving for Sydney, it seemed like a better idea not to begin anything that would lead to heartache they were both not ready for. It was unspoken, but understood. They remained friends, and he was there to see her off as she boarded a plane back to Australia.

His aversion to technology such as email text messages and phone made it easy to lose touch. Two years later she ran into him in her visit to Hope Valley. Due to his schedule they did not see each other at all. He had been the last text she received before she boarded the plane again Sydney bound, and it was the last she heard from him and him of her. With all the constant life altering changes in Elizabeth's life at that time, it was easy lose touch with him once more.

Which is why it was surprising that the feelings she had long since buried threatened to resurface.

Elizabeth and Auggie carried on with their afternoon at the Museum of Contemporary Arts as planned. Auggie knew that Elizabeth wasn't quite ready to unpack Jack. Elizabeth kept Jack very close to her heart and it took awhile for her to tell him of their story therefore he knew just how shaken she was by his sudden appearance back in her life. As they walked through the exhibition he grabbed her hand in his, making her stop in mid sentence.

"It's okay to be freaked out," Elizabeth smiled at one of dearest friends and kissed his cheek,

"Thank you,"

"I know you're present, and I appreciate that but I understand if you need a moment."

"I feel like we just never got our chance Auggie, and I am scared to start thinking this could be our chance. Doesn't that sound ridiculous seeing as I don't even know how long he's here for, and was there really something or have I romanticised it all this time?" Auggie grinned,

"Don't you feel much better now that you managed to get all that out?" Elizabeth cracked up laughing,

"Yes, thank you."

"For the record, it's not ridiculous. I saw the way he was looking at you, and us trying to figure whether we were a we or what. Whatever went down between you or didn't, there's no faking how genuinely happy he was to see you and want to spend time with you. Just go with it. Enjoy tonight for what it is. No walls, no guards, no expectations. Just be you. You will soon find out whether what you were was a season or a foundation for what could be. I mean, you could have dinner with him and find him all kinds of unattractive." Auggie joked making her laugh once more. Before she could reply her phone began to ring,

"Hello," she answered uncertainly at a number she did not recognise

"Elizabeth, it's Jack." There was a way that he said Elizabeth in a way no one else ever did, as though it was a favourite word that rolled off his tongue, like a habit second to breathing.

"Hey Jack, you're still standing I'm impressed."

"I know right. So I'm still in a meeting with my Boss, we're on a quick break whilst he takes a call. He's assigned a company driver to me for my use, how about I pick you up for dinner tonight?"

"I'm happy to meet you back here in the city Jack, it's not a long drive for me."

"I know, but call me old fashioned but I'd like to pick you up."

"Ahh there it is, whoever said chivalry was dead had never met you Jack Thornton." Jack chuckled,

"7 work for you?" he asked

"7 works just fine. You've picked a good time to come to Sydney, it's Summer so at 7 it starts cooling down but the sun is out until 9."

"Great, that works for what I have in mind."

"You've been here for a few hours, what prey tell could you possibly have conjured up in that time?"

"Now Elizabeth, if I tell you that then it wouldn't be a surprise."

"Clearly, some things never change." She replied amused,

"I confess, very little has changed."

"Well that's not necessarily a bad thing,"

After she had confirmed that she will send him a text with her address she hung up the phone to find an Auggie grinning like the cat who swallowed a canary,

"Now if that conversation is to go by and somewhat reflective of what was years ago, I'd say my optimism just went up a notch."

"Hush you, I don't need to be nervous."

Like the friend that he was Auggie had agreed to get ready at her place before going out to his own thing for the evening. He knew she needed the distraction and he was more than happy to provide it. She wasn't the type to parade around her wardrobe looking for something to wear but she was the type to talk herself into a frenzy out of nervousness.

They were both showered and ready to go before 7pm and were engaged in a healthy competitive game of Bananagrams by the time Jack arrived. He knocked on the door drawing them both out of their bickering. Elizabeth's eyes lit up as she looked up to see him on the other side of her security door. Jack grinned back as she stood from her chair to unlock the door.

"Glad you found the place okay. Come on in," Jack handed her the bouquet of Gerbers and Iris' which he remembered to be her favourite and kissed her cheek.

"They're beautiful Jack, thank you." She said blushing slightly.

"You're welcome,"

"I'll leave you kids to it. If I jiggy out of here I can make it just in time for my dinner reservations. I so did not realise how late it has gotten. Thanks for hanging today B. Good to see you Jack."

"Thanks for today Augs," Elizabeth said hugging her friend gratefully.

"It was good to see you too Auggie." Jack replied shaking Auggie's hand once more. As Auggie made his way down Elizabeth's unit complex stairs Elizabeth closed the door behind him and turned to Jack who stood there with a shy boyish grin. Without a word, in the spirit of spontaneity and no regrets Elizabeth walked over to him and hugged him. Though surprised, there was no hesitation in Jack's reciprocation. He immediately engulfed her into his arms hugging her tightly. There was a sense of familiarity about it. Physical affection had always come easily for them. It was almost second nature, habitual.

Looking back on their photos only recently, his arm was always around her shoulders, or his hand on her knee, chin on her shoulder. They were little things, yet they meant so much, especially to Elizabeth who had never felt so un-inhibited with anyone who was outside her close circle. In that moment it was like they were transported back to that time in their lives.

"As weird as it sounds, God I've missed you!" he said in a whisper

"As weird as it sounds, I whole heartedly concur," Elizabeth confessed. After a few more minutes they reluctantly parted.

"How about that tour?" she suggested quietly stepping out of his embrace.

"Lead the way."

After the tour they made their way down to the car. Admittedly Elizabeth's head was spinning with possibilities. At the same time there was still so much more to talk about and she had to keep reminding herself to keep her wits about her. It had almost been three years since she last saw him, since she heard from him and now it was like no time had passed and they had been catapulted to what their life might have been, could have been.

On the drive they caught up on the latest in each others lives, so absorbed in conversation that Elizabeth wasn't paying attention to where they were going. When they pulled up at Lady Macquarie's chair she looked at him curiously. Jack just smiled. As they stepped out of the car Henry, their driver handed Jack a blanket and a picnic basket.

"Shall we?"

"Wow, how did you even know about this place? You've been in the country barely eight hours."

"I asked around. Come on let's get settled." Elizabeth couldn't help but get caught up in his enthusiasm. She was reminded of how attractive his boyish charm and was and apparently still is.

Finding the perfect place to have their picnic they set up on edge of the dock. It was a fairly cool night with no wind making it a comfortable evening by the water.

"So tell me how did you end up in Sydney?" she asked curiously.

"Dumb luck?" he answered with a grin.

"Highly doubt it." Elizabeth replied wryly.

"Ah, there's that blind faith I know and love."

"Seriously…"

"Well there were a couple of offers, New Zealand or here. New Zealand was a consideration but when they offered Australia, it seemed a no brainer. I've always wanted to come, and well it also helped that I would know people here. That I knew you were here. Which is silly I know as we haven't had anything to so with one another in years, but I don't know. It just became the deal breaker."

"Well as a veteran of moving to another country not knowing a soul, knowing that someone is on the other side that you know is definitely a comfort."

It was a lovely evening getting reacquainted with each other. It had been a long time and there was so much to know about the other that they wasted no time. After dinner, they had given Henry the blanket and picnic basket before going for a walk.

"Has it sunk in that you're here?" Jack shook his head with a smile.

"Not really. I think I'm too excited and a little jet lagged."

"I bet, it'll hit you soon enough. Just remember to breathe in and out."

"I'll be sure to remember that."

"Have you checked in back home?" Elizabeth inquired knowing how close he was to his family.

"Yeah, I called Mom just before I left to come and pick you up. She says hi by the way."

"Aww, say hi back to Charlotte when you speak to her again."

"I will do. Elizabeth," Jack said hesitantly.

"Yeah Jack."

"I have something to tell you, in the spirit of full disclosure."

"Uh, sure go ahead." She encouraged, her heart rattling around inside her.

"I have a son." He said softly, yet the love and pride shone brightly from his eyes.

"Oh wow! How old is he?" she asked, knowing full well that wasn't the question she really wanted to ask.

"He's five." Elizabeth didn't need to do any calculations in her head. She knew that in her last trip, he would have been married, which made it not a coincidence that they always managed to miss each other. It also hit her, that he probably was still married.

"That's a great age. Your wife must have her hands full with him."

"She definitely did." He answered dropping his gaze to his feet.

"Did?" she asked her heart beginning to ache sensing that what was to come would indeed be heart breaking.

"She died a few months ago. Car accident."

"Oh Jack, I'm so sorry." She said tearfully wrapping her arms around his middle. Jack gratefully returned her hug, comfort washing over him the moment she did.

"What's his name?"

"Logan, he's a ball of energy. Smart, funny, beautiful, just like his mother."

"What was her name?"

"Emily. I met her probably a couple of months after you left to come back here. She had this amazing ability to make you feel as though you were the most important person in the world."

"She sounds lovely Jack. I'm sorry you lost her so suddenly." Elizabeth said sincerely, her heart breaking for him. She led him to the nearest park bench and sat down. There he began to pour what was in his heart, about his loss, about his crushed dreams, his regrets, and his guilt. When he had no more in him, they sat in comfortable silence.

"Thank you." Jack said turning his gaze to look at her as she stared out into the Harbour Bridge and city lights allowing everything he had told her to sink in. Elizabeth met his gaze and smiled, dropping a quick kiss to his shoulder.

"What are friends for?" by then she had reconciled that he wasn't there as some romantic gesture realizing after so many years that it was her he loved all along, and it was her that he could not live without. She inwardly chuckled at her over active imagination. Jack draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

"Elizabeth, I truly have missed you."

As they walked back to the car Elizabeth encouraged him to talk about Logan. She loved watching his face light up as he talked about his five year old. She could see just what an amazing father he was.

"Once I've settled in Tom will bring him over. I'm hoping within the next few weeks he will be here. Tom will stay for a bit to help out with him."

"How is Tom going?" Tom was Jack's younger brother and the less serious one of the two.

"He's good. He's excited to be coming over. Especially since you're here."

"That's so sweet. I'm looking forward to seeing him too. It has been way too long."

The topic of conversation lightened as they headed back to her place. He walked her to her door and hugged her tightly as they bid each other goodnight.

"It's so good to see you again,"

"You too," she murmured into his chest.

"I'll call you tomorrow."

"Talk to you then. Drop me a message when you get back to the hotel so that I know you got there okay."

"I will do." As she closed the door behind him, she leaned exhaustedly against her door. She could hear him pause outside her door as though he was waiting for her to get settled in. When she moved her hand to flick on the switch, he finally headed down the stairs.

The following morning from both Jack and Auggie from the night before. Auggie asking how it went and Jack telling her he had a great time the night before. While she got ready for the day she called Auggie,

"Brunch?" He answered the phone with no greeting, eliciting a laugh from Elizabeth,

"Sure, want to go to the 9:30 service with me? Then we can head to Coogee for brunch and hang at the beach?"

"Sounds like a plan, do you want me to come and get you?"

"Nah, I'm contemplating on going to tonight's service. It my Sunday off so it'd be good to experience the night time service."

"Fair play, I'll meet you at Costa Café,"

Just as she was leaving her place she sent Jack a quick message to say that she too had a good time and it was great to see him again. As she drove out of her driveway her phone rang,

"Good morning Elizabeth,"

"Morning Jack, how'd you sleep?"

"Not too bad considering the time difference."

"Good to hear. What time are you heading over to your Boss' house for Brunch?" She asked knowing that was on his morning agenda.

"It's at 11:00 so I should probably start getting ready. Are Chino shorts, a button down shirt, with boat shoes acceptable?" Elizabeth laughed,

"Very much so. Don't forget your sunglasses and make sure you have suitable sunscreen on for that porcelain skin of yours," she added teasingly.

"Very good tip, even if there was a jab right at the end,"

"There there," She placated,

"Are you on your way to church now? It's still early," he observed,

"Yes I am. Auggie is coming so I'm meeting him at the café to grab a coffee before heading in."

"Great, hey there's a service on tonight right?"

"Yes, 6pm at my campus but there's a 5pm and 7pm at the one nearer to your hotel."

"Will you go with me to the 6pm and maybe grab dinner after?"

"Sure, sounds like a plan. Once you're done with brunch why don't you meet us at the beach and we can go straight to service after that. Night church is pretty casual. You'll find most of the demographic will have spent the afternoon at the beach before service too."

"When in Sydney?"

"Absolutely. Let me know when you're done so I can tell you where we're at. Maybe just get Henry to drop you off. Parking is a nightmare in the afternoon. I can just drive you back to your hotel." She sensed his hesitation but grinned when he finally agreed to her driving him home.

Due to traffic she and Auggie barely had time to get a coffee before going into the service. Truth be told Elizabeth was relieved to hold off on the interrogation that was coming her way.

Once service was over they made their way to Coogee in Auggie's car and because it was still early they had found prime parking in front of the beachside café they were known to frequent. Absently she perused the menu while Auggie observed his friend. Elizabeth had barely said anything about the night before which left him curious about what had unfolded. She wasn't upset, nor was she extremely enthusiastic, and when asked how the night before went, she simply answered with 'well'. In all of their friendship, succinct would not be a word he would use to describe her. Once they had ordered he pried,

"What happened?" he asked treading carefully.

"He's married, he has a son." Auggie dropped his coffee cup into the saucer, the look on his face was so comical that she couldn't help but laugh.

"Excuse me?" he did not see that coming.

"Yeah, he has a five year old."

"So his wife is following him here?"

"Ah no, it seems she was in a horrible car accident a few months ago and they lost her. The move in large part was a new beginning for him and his son. The opportunity was timely, but welcomed. Too many memories of her I guess."

"Wow, I'm sorry Beth."

"Don't be. I think you and I both have an over active imagination. He's a great guy, a wonderful friend. It's not his fault I had romanticised us all this time when really I should have just accepted long ago it wasn't meant to be." Whilst Auggie could see what she was saying there was no denying that Jack cared about Elizabeth. In the way he looked at her, regarded her, but perhaps she was right they had both romanticised it.

"So where to from here?"

"Where we left off, as friends." She said it was such finality that he knew she had gone into self preservation mode.

Jack met them at the beach as planned and the three of them had a lovely afternoon. Sensing that Elizabeth was not ready to be alone with Jack he had stayed until with them until they had to go to church that evening dropping them back off at the church where her car was parked. As they arrived they were met with Rosemary her fiancé Lee, Abigail and her husband Noah, Carson and Faith. Their Hope Valley crew that had long since relocated to Sydney. Jack grinned widely at the sight of them as they engulfed him with hugs all around. Elizabeth had sent them all a message earlier that morning after making plans with him knowing they too would want to see him.

"You guys, it's so good to see you all." He said pleasantly surprised.

"Well no one can gather this group the way one Elizabeth Thatcher does." Lee answered as he draped an affectionate arm around her. Elizabeth smiled up at him with an eye roll,

"You're just a little biased," Jack noted that the closeness between them all had not only remained but strengthened and he was sorry to have missed it all. He and Lee were good friends and he wished that they hadn't at all lost touch.

"Let's go on in before it starts without us," Lee and Carson were flanked at either side of Elizabeth as they entered the auditorium with their significant others on the other side leaving Jack sitting between Abigail and Rosemary. Elizabeth wasn't silly, she knew the boys were on protective mode. They were all there to witness what was and could have been. They knew how it had hurt Elizabeth. Lee had known about Emily, but they had left before it got serious and by the time it got serious he and Rosemary were also back in Sydney and they had lost touch with Jack.

After church they had all headed to Abigail's Diner. She and Noah had bought and were running their own diner whilst raising their three growing kids Peter, Becky and Cody. Elizabeth spent quite a lot of time there. Especially when it had first opened, helping out where she could. These days she used it as a hideaway when she needed to mark homework and her place was too quiet. She pulled an occasional shift here and there when required, which in fact they all did.

As they walked through the door 15 year old Peter was wiping down the counter while 12 year old Becky was finishing her homework at the other end of the counter. Becky's face lit up as she saw Elizabeth,

"Aunt Elizabeth," she shrieked excitedly jumping off her stool throwing her arms around Elizabeth's waist. Elizabeth hugged the young girl tightly against her.

"She has that effect on most children, but most especially Stanton kids." Noah stated to Jack amused,

"I remember," he replied.

"You should see her with Cody our youngest, he gets monopoly at all times." Abigail added.

"Okay stop, it's not that bad." Elizabeth protested as she opened an arm to Peter who came to hug her hello before greeting the others.

"Jack you remember our son Peter and our daughter Becky." Abigail introduced.

"Yes, but they are a lot bigger than I remember them to be."

Lee, Noah and Carson pulled a few tables together to seat them all. It was quiet for a Sunday night which they didn't mind. It would mean that Abigail and Noah could join them instead of running the joint. At 8:30 Becky went upstairs to bed, which was where their home. Followed closely by Peter who still had to finish his homework.

After their dinner was served Noah had closed the Diner and sent their cook and remaining waitress home leaving them with the place to themselves. The following day was a public holiday for all therefore no one was in a rush to go home.

"So Jack what brings you to Sydney?" Lee asked,

"Work actually. After I got married I opted switched from being a police officer to computer forensics. It turns out I was good at it and I enjoy it." He could tell by the surprised look on all of their faces non of them knew he had been married. The looks on their faces was almost comical. Instinctively he looked to Elizabeth who gave him a supportive smile encouraging him to go on,

"Not long after we got married, my wife Emily fell pregnant and I felt a responsibility to her and to my son Logan to be there and to not throw myself in front of danger so I decided to take a somewhat sideways step. There were a couple of opportunities to take on the study and I took it. Worked hard and by the time Logan was born I had fully transitioned out of active duty. During that time there was a high demand for computer forensics and it was just great timing for me. I climbed through the ranks pretty quickly. They've been offering me transfers for a few years, but I didn't' want to uproot Emily, especially as Logan was still so little and I didn't want to take her away from her support system." Each of them could see just how much he loved his wife, and whilst Elizabeth had heard it all the night before, hearing it the second time felt like twisting the knife that had been thrusted into her chest when he first told her.

"It wasn't until," he paused, unsure if he could go on. Propriety aside Elizabeth placed a hand over his from across the table and locked eyes with him, giving him that little boost of strength he needed to get his words out.

"Until Emily was killed in a car accident a few months ago." There was a collective gasps around the table and their hearts went out to him.

"It felt like after she died that Logan and I were just going through the motions, and I knew we couldn't stay there. That we both needed a change, and Sydney came up. It was one of the places where I knew people. It was the place where I knew the best people I have ever known." He said meeting Elizabeth's gaze again. Abigail rose from her chair to wrap her arms around his shoulders.

"We're glad you're here Jack. Welcome home." Elizabeth gave his hand a firm squeeze before got up to put the kettle on.

After Elizabeth had headed back to Sydney, her childhood best friend Rosemary decided to go home too. Followed closer after by her boyfriend, now fiancé Lee. Whilst Elizabeth had taught elementary school, Rosemary was the high school drama teacher. They had both graduated from their teaching degrees and decided to take on a post far from home for their first teaching stints. Their Visa's were initially for only two years and whilst the opportunity to stay was available Elizabeth decided to go home due to personal reasons and Rosemary wanted to go home with her.

Despite the age difference Abigail and Elizabeth were incredibly close. When Elizabeth lost her mother shortly after she arrived back to Sydney Abigail had hopped on a plane to Sydney to be there for her. As timing would have it, the financial institution that Noah worked for had set up an office in Sydney and offered him a position and after talking with Abigail they decided to make the move.

Carson and Faith came to visit and backpack around Australia after their crew had all decided to move to Sydney and they hadn't left since, falling in love with Sydney as the others did. Luckily being a doctor and a nurse allowed them to make the move without a problem. Out of all them it was Carson who knew of Emily. But even though he and Faith remained a year after everyone else had left, he hardly ever saw Jack between both their long and unpredictable hours.

As Elizabeth put the kettle on for tea and start the coffee machine to make coffee Rosemary silently started setting up cups on the counter to assist her. Elizabeth knew she was being supportive, that without a word being spoken that her best friend of too many years understood her. Rosemary could tell by Jack's countenance that he had already told Elizabeth and that he drew strength from that. She also knew that out of all of them it was important that Elizabeth be the first to know. That she could not have imagined Jack telling that story publicly without doing so privately with Elizabeth first. It was just they way they have always been. He always put her first.

Abigail joined them shortly after pulling desserts out of the desserts fridge. As she passed Elizabeth she had given her friend a subtle squeeze in the arm before continuing on with putting their dessert plates together.

"Bea, is it next Sunday you want me to put the basketball ring up at church?" Lee asked from the table trying to lighten up the mood and change the subject for Jack who looked at him gratefully.

"Yes please. I'd like to make the most of summer and it'd be a waste to spend a perfectly good Sunday afternoon cooped up inside." Elizabeth was heavily involved in youth ministry and spent her Sundays with teenagers.

"Great, Carson and I will put it together after the 9:30am."

"Thanks guys. I have it all in my car."

"I can move it to my truck tonight if you want." Lee offered.

"No that's okay. I don't need the boot space. No point in moving it to yours when I'll be there anyway but thank you Leland." She said appreciatively dropping a kiss to his cheek as she handed him his dessert. She laughed as Carson pointed to his cheek with a pout,

"What am I chopped liver? I'm helping too." Elizabeth rolled her eyes and kissed his cheek before messing up his hair.

Elizabeth returned to her seat beside Lee. He placed a hand on her knee giving it a squeeze. They exchanged a glance before she turned her attention back to the conversation going on at the table. Whilst Rosemary and Abigail may have been her best friends, Leland Coulter was right up there with them. Not having a brother, he had long since adopted her as a little sister. The fact that they were first cousins had helped that too. Lee was the son of her late mother's sister and whilst he lived in Hope Valley for most of his life, he visited often. In fact, he was the reason Rosemary had decided to join Elizabeth in taking a post at Hope Valley for a couple of years. They had flirted and for years but it wasn't until she had made the move did he make a move to pursue her. It was pretty obvious from get go that Rosemary and Lee were made for each other.

At three in the morning Rosemary was the first to put her hand up and say she was heading home. Elizabeth wholeheartedly concurred, she felt exhausted.

"Jack, you ready to go?" Jack nodded with a smile.

"Elizabeth if you're tired, I can always ask Henry to come and get me. At least that way you don't have to go out of your way."

"Don't be silly, I'm not that tired."

"Bea, I'll drive Jack home. He's on my way." Lee offered,

"Jack?" Elizabeth asked,

"That sounds great, thanks Lee." Jack replied.

"Then I'll take Rosie as she's on my way."

"Perfect."

Many hugs later she and Rosemary were on their way home. Rosemary lived a couple of unit blocks away from Elizabeth which was handy.

"Elizabeth," Rosemary began,

"I'm okay Rosie, I am. I had a head start. He told me last night." Elizabeth tried to reassure her.

"If anything, it allowed me to close a door on what was obviously not meant to be. I have a very over active imagination and the absence has fuelled that. Did I immediately think he showed up in Sydney as a grand romantic gesture, admittedly I had hoped so. But that was my over active imagination kicking in before sense did. Did it hurt to hear him tell me about the great love of his life who obviously wasn't me, ah yeah. But it's not his fault I felt that way about him and he didn't." Rosemary didn't agree that Jack didn't feel the same way back then. Nor that he didn't feel the same now to some degree, but she knew that Elizabeth was still processing.

"You know Lee was always going to drive him home didn't you?" Rosemary said with a chuckle,

"Yeah, I knew it the moment we made plans tonight, and even more so after he admitted to everyone he had been married. To be honest, I had counted on it. I wasn't really ready to be alone with him after last night's revelation. I need some time to actually process and apply the necessary boundaries. Which sounds methodical, but I have to be. It's Jack." Rosemary nodded fully understanding Elizabeth's cautiousness.

Elizabeth had showered and gone to bed with every intention of sleeping in so she had turned her phone off. She knew that if there was an emergency they would call her landline and Rosie was literally a few doors down. Upon waking up she had changed into her shorts and tank before heading to the beach for a run as she always did. Leaving her phone in the car and off. Therefore she wasn't at all surprised to find the numerous messages that awaited her. Most from her well meaning friends and a couple from Jack who also called her. As she started her car she listened to his voicemail,

"Morning Elizabeth, I hope you got some decent sleep in. Just wanted to see how you were and what you were up to today. Give me a call when you get a chance." Taking a deep breath she called him back.

"Hey Jack, sorry I missed your call earlier. I woke up, did some chores, went for a run and just turned my phone on."

"You've literally done a normal person's whole day in a few hours." He teased.

"Don't be fooled, I am not always productive in the mornings. It's just that my body for some reason thinks it's a work day and it woke itself up and I just went with it."

"Thanks for organising last night."

"No problem. They would have hanged me if I didn't tell them I knew you were here and seen you without telling them. You know how those guys are."

"It was really good to see everyone, and together. It was like a weird flashback."

"I bet. I think we sometimes take it for granted that we all ended up in the same hemisphere, but I truly cannot imagine having it any other way. I think moving back to Sydney was easier because of it."

"It's amazing. I never realised how much I had missed it all. It also made me realise how terrible I was at keeping in touch and that was all me."

"Well, you're here now. You get the option to take the motley crew or leave it. The door is always open to you." She assured him. She wanted him to know that he was always welcome but she didn't want him to feel obliged at the same time.

"Thank you. Lee pretty much said the same thing last night,"

"That Leland is a good egg, you can always count on him." She stated somewhat biasedly

"That he is. Ah Elizabeth,"

"Yes Jack,"

"Are we okay?" he asked uncertainly. Elizabeth bit her lower lip and let out a slow breath.

"Of course we are." She didn't need to ask why he was asking.

"I just,"

"Hey, were okay." She said once more wanting him to believe it, in truth wanting herself to believe it.

"There's no reason for us not to be Jack." And that was also the truth. No matter how the initial impact of his confession had her heart crashing down, there was no reason for them not to be friends.

"I'm glad, because you mean a lot to me Elizabeth."

Jack and Elizabeth talked for a little while longer before agreeing to meet at Abigail's Diner that afternoon for an early dinner. The moment she hung up, her phone rang again. Laughing she picked up,

"Leland, you have eery dog senses."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You always do. If you're checking how I am, I'm okay. As I said to Rosie, I had a head start. I guess it answers any questions I had about what could have been. That at the end of it all, he just didn't feel that way about me. It's humbling but it's also a definitive answer to a question that has always plagued me unanswered. It's better to know right?"

"Beth, I don't think your timing was right but I honestly believe Jack Thornton cared and cares about you."

"Oh Lee, I know he did and does. I have never doubted that. I just wasn't the one he was willing to risk it all for. To fight for you know?"

"Bea, I think you scared the pants off him. You were both still so young, and you had this amazing connection, one that remains unparalleled. There's that whole you came from an affluent family, and you had your whole life waiting for you back in Sydney."

"I would have given it all up Lee," she said in quiet confession.

"I know Bug."

"Anyhoo, moving on. Rosie said you guys have menu tasting tonight. That sounds fun."

"Yes, I'm looking forward to it. Slight segue, Rosie wants to invite Jack to her birthday. I assured her you would be cool with it, but throwing it out there."

"Of course I'm okay with it. You guys need to stop treating me like a delicate porcelain doll. So not necessary, especially when it comes to Jack. Please, treat him as you always have. I think he could use all the support he can get."

"Consider it done, but you can't blame us all for looking out for you."

"I know, and please please please know I appreciate it. But, I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself and that's in large part because I have all of you ready to catch me if I fall splat on my face."

"Always." He promised.

As the weeks came and went Jack had slipped into all their lives somewhat seamlessly. Most of all Elizabeth's. He had been officially initiated into her most important friendships and family. He and Auggie got along swimmingly and Elizabeth often teased them that they had traded her in for each other, which of course couldn't be farther from the truth. To everybody but Elizabeth, Jack looked at her as though she had hung the stars and moon.

Jack met her Dad early into his arrival and whilst he was protective of his middle daughter he was genuine and a lot more down to earth than what Jack had imagined him to be. A part of him felt incredibly foolish for the perceptions he had of Elizabeth's family simply because of their affluence. He should have known better because Elizabeth exuded nothing of arrogance or entitlement and if it hadn't been for someone outside their circle pointing out that she was Elizabeth Thatcher of Thatcher Industries, heiress to tycoon William Thatcher, he would never have made the connection.

With Elizabeth's help Jack had found the perfect place for himself, Logan and temporarily Tom. He had found a house by the water only fifteen minutes away from where Elizabeth lived. It had three bedrooms with enough room in the front yard for an active five year old. Jack had told Elizabeth how much Logan had loved the water and it was her idea to find something near the water. Luckily for Jack housing was subsidized therefore it gave him the opportunity to find just the right place. Nothing too big or extravagant, but homey. It was a crew effort. From shopping for furniture, to moving him in, to setting up Logan's room. They had all been a part of it. Jack knew how lucky he was to have such friends and it wasn't lost to him just how big of a part Elizabeth played in that.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to those who have left such encouraging reviews. I have written a bulk of this story and I have no idea where it's headed but I hope you enjoy the ride.

When Logan was due to arrive Jack had asked if Elizabeth would like to join him, to which she politely declined explaining to him that it would be the first time in weeks that his son would see him therefore it would probably best that he do that alone to allow them the privacy and as to not overwhelm him. Whilst Logan had met them all facetiming, it was another thing to have them all at the airport welcoming him home. Elizabeth suggested he pick up Logan and Tom and get them settled at home. If Logan was up for it, he could bring them to Abigail's Diner. It made sense, but he couldn't help but be disappointed.

Elizabeth was careful in not giving Logan the wrong impression about her relationship with Jack. She was well aware of how Jack had slipped back into her life as though they had never been apart. The same force that drew them together so many years before was still there and if it were even possible, it was stronger than ever. She enlisted Lee to keep her accountable whilst Auggie did so naturally. She appreciated that because he was someone who was not part of their time in Hope Valley. To her it made him impartial.

The morning that Jack was picking Tom and Logan up from the airport Auggie and Elizabeth had plans to go to brunch and check out an exhibition that they had been hanging out to see for weeks but between both their schedules they have been unable to go. With summer drawing to a close, they were trying to make the most of their week days. Auggie was a high school teacher for kids with special needs and it was their common love for the kids, especially those with extra needs that brought them together. They had met years before at a camp they both volunteered at and they hadn't turned back since.

"So how's things going with Jack?"

"Auggie you ask that like you think we're working our way towards something." She pointed out bemused. Auggie knew why she didn't entertain the thoughts of possibilities in her head and most especially her heart but at the same time she couldn't be blind to how Jack regarded her. Whether Jack knew it or not, whether he was willing to do something about it or not, he loved Elizabeth Thatcher and not in that a friend loves a friend kind of way. However it wouldn't be fair to Elizabeth if he wasn't willing to take a leap.

"Then at the risk of sounding like Rosemary, date!"

"Yes, because suitors are lined up waiting." She replied dryly with an eye roll.

"As a matter of fact there is someone from my work who was asking if you were single. Would you be open to my giving him your details? He's a decent guy. I wouldn't put it out there otherwise. Go for a coffee. Get your feet wet. I'm not asking you to start a serious relationship with him. Just a coffee."

"Auggie, why now. Why is this so important right now?" She asked. Auggie stopped to look at her,

"Because I don't want you to fall into a routine where you slip into contentment with having Jack as a token plus one. Having your gay boy bestie as a token is one thing but having someone I know you still have deep feelings for as a token isn't ideal and I don't want you to wake up a few months from now wondering how you got there and realise you've been putting your life on hold for a possibility regardless how careful you're being." Wordlessly she pulled at his arm gently to pull him close enough to plant a kiss on his cheek.

"You're the best gay boy bestie ever,"

"So you'll do it?"

"Give him my number, let's see how that goes first."

Auggie dropped her off at the Diner where her car was parked. Jack had messaged them all that he was going to bring Logan and Tom to the Diner for dinner and how he'd like for them to meet his son.

When Jack, Tom and Logan walked in as force of habit Jack sought out Elizabeth and found her in a booth with Peter, Becky and Cody playing bananagrams, which was not at all uncommon. From what he could see she and Cody were a team whilst Peter and Becky played as individuals. Absently she looked up and smiled as she met his gaze not realising they had arrived. She stood to her feet and made her way towards them.

"Elizabeth!" Tom said excitedly meeting her halfway and engulfing into his arms for a bear hug.

"Hey Tommy! So good to see you." When he had released her she turned to crouch down to meet Logan at his eye level.

"Hi Bud, you must be Logan. I'm Elizabeth." Logan stuck his hand out to her and grinned with a toothless grin that made Elizabeth immediately fall in love with him. She took his hand and shook it.

"Rumour has it you're a fan of ice cream or was that broccoli?" She said pretending to be confused,

"Not broccoli," he protested in horror

"Well then ice cream it is. What do you say you come and meet my buddies Cody, Becky and Peter and we sneak in at the back and make us some ice cream sundaes?" She said in a conspiratorial whisper as he nodded eagerly. She held out a hand to him and Logan Thornton took it willingly and without hesitation. Elizabeth gave Jack a wave before leading Logan to the booth where the Stanton kids sat.

"Another Thornton man bites the dust." Tommy teased knowing that Logan had become enamoured with Elizabeth in an instant, just like the rest of them.

"He didn't have a chance," Jack replied as they watched her introduce the kids to each other. As promised the five of them soon disappeared behind the kitchen doors. Whilst they couldn't see them, they could hear the giggling. Half an hour later they emerged with one incredibly large sundae for the five of them to share. Elizabeth tried to look apologetic but he saw the twinkle in her eye knowing she wasn't at all sorry for the sugar his son was about to inhale. Elizabeth carefully carried their sundae to the booth and allowed Logan to take her seat beside Cody whilst she stood.

"Elizabeth sit here," Logan said moving closer to Cody making room for her.

"Thanks buddy, why don't you guys start on the sundae and I'll be right back. I just need to answer this call." She replied as her phone began to ring.

"Hello," she answered as she made her way back behind the kitchen to take her call, which Jack noted she never really does. She came back out to grab her diary from her bag,

"Yeah, so Friday afternoon works for me. Yeah one last hurrah before the madness begins again. Well now I can put your face to the name I do feel better." She replied with a laugh. Jack didn't catch the rest of the conversation as she went back inside the kitchen to finish her conversation. When she emerged from the kitchen she joined the kids back at the table as promised.

By dinner time Elizabeth and Logan were old friends. At the dinner table she was sandwiched between Cody and Logan.

"Lee are you good for tomorrow morning? If not I can just walk to the station."

"No I'm good. I cleared the day. I thought we good do a hike while we wait for you car to finish being serviced."

"Yes! Actually, can we do the Bay Run? I haven't been and I'd like to check it out."

"Sounds good. I'll meet you at the dealership at 8."

"Let me know if it's good. I've heard it's a good trail. Might be a new alternative to our usual." Rosemary said,

"Did you want us to wait for you and do it another day?" Elizabeth asked kindly.

"No, don't be silly. Go on ahead. We can just go again if it's good." Rosemary replied as she handed Elizabeth her dessert.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Hey are you free Friday? I need to finalize a couple of wedding things in the morning. Lee has been a good sport so I thought I would relieve him of which ribbons are to go on the back of chairs decisions. I thought we can get some back to school shopping done before the madness begins next week?"

"I am free in the morning and early afternoon. I have a thing on later in the day which I can push back if we need more time."

"Is that?" Rosemary began but stopped in midsentence as Elizabeth gave her a look that answered her question. Rosemary quickly shifted gears and started talking about something random, which was not at all uncommon when Rosemary was concerned. Curious Lee raised his eyebrow at Elizabeth who kicked him gently under the table.

Not long after dessert was consumed Elizabeth noticed that Logan had begun to slump a little in his seat.

She could tell that jet lag was beginning to set in. Elizabeth made eye contact with Jack and titled her head towards his son who was now leaning against her comfortably.

"I think jet lag just became real to someone." She said as she wrapped an arm around Logan. Jack smiled at the sight of them.

"I think it might be time I take these boys home so they can get a decent night's sleep." He said standing to his feet.

"Hey little one, I think your Daddy is ready to take you home." She said affectionately running her hand through his hair as Logan sleepily nodded leaning more into her embrace. Jack went to pick Logan up in his arms whose eyes had officially closed. With Logan in his arms he dropped a kiss on her cheek,

"Thank you Elizabeth,"

"I didn't do anything, but you're welcome." She replied nonchalantly.

After the Thornton boys had gone home, they had all helped clear their table by taking their empty dishes into the kitchen. Abigail and Noah had refused to ever let them pay for a meal especially as they refused to be paid when they helped open the diner or when they help with a shift here and there so they just helped with cleaning up, and even then that wasn't allowed sometimes.

"So Auggie finally gave Bobby your number?"

"You knew?" Elizabeth asked,

"Bobby asked me first and I said that you would kill me if I did so I suggested he talk to Auggie and he can ask you if you were up for it."

"Way to go in delegating Rosie," Elizabeth said dryly.

"It's just a coffee,"

"It's something Bea," Rosemary replied supportively. Whilst Elizabeth knew they were all concerned about her falling into a routine with Jack, she realised in that moment how concerned they truly were.

"You guys need to stop worrying about me. I appreciate it, but I am not under any illusion that Jack Thornton loves me in that way. I learned that lesson the hard way, more than once so rest assured that I am just as weary as all of you about just how much exposure I have to him and him to me." Abigail placed a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"We know Sweetie, but we also know that you may not notice there is anyone else in the room when Jack is around." Elizabeth couldn't protest what she knew to be true.

Jack had a couple of weeks off from work to get Logan settled into his new surroundings and make sure he settled into school. He would be going to the same school as Cody, which happened to be the school Elizabeth taught at. Having Elizabeth in the same school brought both Jack and Logan comfort, just as it did to Abigail that she would be around if Cody needed her.

Just as she was getting her stuff ready for the following day her phone rang, as it did most evenings since Jack arrived. She inwardly chuckled realising just why their friends were so concerned. She considered not answering it but eventually did,

"Hi Jack, how are the two boys doing?" she asked,

"Well the little one did not wake up at all. I took him out of the car, changed him, tucked him in and he was none the wiser."

"That's good. Hopefully that means his body clock will adjust seamlessly.

"Here's hoping. How was your day with Auggie?"

"It was good," she began to tell him about their day, omitting the part where their friends had made it their mission to make sure she not fall into an unhealthy routine with him. They talked for a little while longer before saying goodnight and going to bed.

The week went by quickly enough and because all the teachers were still on holidays they made the most of it. She, Rosie and Auggie did some lesson planning together as well as spending a considerable amount of time at the beach and Officeworks. Elizabeth hung out with all three Thornton boys a couple of mornings.

On Friday night everyone was having dinner at Abigail's. Upon their arrival he noticed that Elizabeth was not there. When Abigail had begun to take their dinner orders he questioned her absence.

"She had plans this afternoon, she said she probably won't make it to dinner but will try and catch up if she can." Abigail answered casually. Jack sensed there was more to it than that but didn't say anything further. Much to his disappointment, she did not make it to Abigail's at all that evening.

After he, Tommy and Logan had gone home Elizabeth entered the Diner. She had messaged Rosemary after she was done who confirmed they were finishing up but would wait for her. She mentioned that Jack was getting ready to leave without being asked. Elizabeth couldn't help but feel guilty, as though she had lied to him, but at the same time she was frustrated because she didn't owe him explanations. For that reason, she wasn't ready to face him as yet. She greeted everyone hello and followed Abigail and Rosemary to the kitchen to get ice cream.

"How was it?"

"It was lovely, Bobby's great. I mean I always knew he was from my encounters with him. It was nice to get to know him better." When Elizabeth didn't continue both Abigail and Rosemary knew that she was still processing. Elizabeth appreciated that about them. As they were about to walk out of her kitchen her phone rang, without looking at it she knew who it would be and didn't answer, which did not go unnoticed by any of them. By the time Elizabeth had arrived home, she had several missed calls from Jack as well as a couple of messages. Without calling him back she sent him a text message,

"Hi Jack, I'm sorry I missed your calls, my phone has been in my bag. I must have just missed you at Abigail's tonight. Hope you had a good day today. Good night, Elizabeth."


	3. Chapter 3

Jack knew Saturday mornings Elizabeth went for her run. As Elizabeth returned to her car after her 5km she found him leaning against her car with a bottle of water and a skim mocha.

"Hey, you're up early." She greeted. Jack smiled and handed her the bottle of water as he kissed her cheek,

"I figure we haven't really had a chance to hang out just us recently, I was hoping we could today. I know you've just finished a run, but I thought maybe a walk, coffee?" he asked.

"Jack, what's this about? You could have called and asked to grab a coffee but instead you're here waiting for me at my car."

"You haven't exactly been answering my calls or wanting to be alone with me." Jack pointed out. Elizabeth dropped her gaze knowing there was truth in that statement. More than she'd care to admit to him out loud. Confirming his suspicions,

"So it wasn't my imagination," he said

"Jack, it's not that I'm avoiding you or your calls. At least not intentionally. Well not really. I just,"

"Elizabeth…"

"It's so easy to fall back into a routine with you, and as friends that's great it's one of the things I love about us, but you and I know that once upon a time we considered, or maybe it was just me. At the moment I feel a little overwhelmed by that because having you around again has brought back so many feelings I thought I had long since reconciled. If it wasn't so easy to fall back into that maybe I could trust myself to remain unscathed, but I'm sorry I just need to you to give me some time." He could see the pain in her eyes as she spoke. He knew what their friendship meant to her, and how hard it was to maintain just being friends when they were in London.

"It wasn't just you. Let me be clear by saying that,"

"You don't have to say that."

"I'm not. Elizabeth, I know I dropped a bombshell on you. From just showing up, to being married, to Logan. Know that coming here was not something I did lightly. It wasn't my intention to turn your world upside down. I thought I would have some time before I knocked on your door, but I guess God had other plans because I saw you within the first few hours of landing, of all places. Everything as you know from there just fell into what had become our norm. The moment I saw you, everything came back and it seriously knocked the wind out of me. All I knew was that I wanted to be with you every chance I got because being with you made me feel alive again. After we lost Emily, everything went grey. For months, I was just putting one foot in front of the other. Then I saw you in the street and you literally brought me back to life and you have no idea how scary that is."

"That's a lot to live up to Jack,"

"That's why I wanted us to take time, to get to know each other again, to rebuild as who we are now. We were so young Elizabeth and what I felt for you scared me, knowing that you were leaving didn't help. I feel we've been given a second chance."

"What exactly are you saying Jack?"

"That I want us, that I want us to give us a go. That I'm walking into this with my eyes wide open. The moment I saw you again I knew we were end game. It wasn't just you who felt it Elizabeth, I did too. I do too. I know you're scared, but I'm asking you to give us a chance. To give me a chance,"

"Why now?"

"Because I recognise when someone is about to bolt. I'm sorry I did it to you. I'm sorry I did it to us all those years ago. I'm asking you to please not bolt. To please give us a chance." Jack stepped closer and took her hand in his.

"Please,"

"Jack,"

"Please," he raised his hand to her face and cupped her cheek.

"Did you have to choose the moment I've just ran 5 kilometres before having this conversation. You couldn't have said it when I wasn't covered head to toe in sweat looking a mess?" Jack grinned and dropped his lips to her forehead.

"You're beautiful. Elizabeth Thatcher, will you go out on a date with me tonight?"

"I'd love to Jack,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"In that case, you may have your coffee." He said handing her the mocha he had purchased for her that was sitting on her car. Elizabeth chuckled,

"Thank you."

"Walk with me?"

"Sure," Jack took her hand in his again as they walked along the beach. They walked in silence for the most part. Both still processing what just transpired between them.

"In the spirit of full disclosure, I was on a coffee date yesterday afternoon." Elizabeth felt him tense beside her. She squeezed his hand trying to bring him back,

"How was it?"

"It had potential, except for one thing."

"What was that?"

"You. That whilst it would make sense to move on with my life, and not put it on hold if I couldn't stop thinking about you, then it would never be fair to whoever it was I was dating." Jack pulled her body closer to his and kissed the side of her head, his arm now resting around her.

Jack reluctantly walked Elizabeth back to her car less than an hour later. She reminded him that if they were going out he was going to need to hang out with Logan for the rest of the day. Not mention she, Rosie, Abigail and Faith had a spa date after lunch.

"I'll see you tonight Sweetheart. I'll pick you up at 6:45pm." He said placing a kiss on her cheek.

"See you then Jack," She replied giving the hand that was entwined with hers a meaningful squeeze.

"Bye," he said unmoving.

"Jack, you have to go." She said with a grin. Jack kissed her on the forehead and groaned.

"I'm going." As he walked back to his car he turned back to her,

"No talking yourself out of it okay? Promise?"

"Of course Jack," she assured him as she stepped into her car giving him a wave. He watched until she was clear of sight before climbing into his own car to go home.

After showering from her run Elizabeth went straight to Abigail's where they were meeting the Rosie and Faith. Elizabeth didn't bother to sit down, as she walked in she took Abigail's hand and led her up the stairs to their home wordlessly. Concerned and somewhat amused she looked at Elizabeth expectantly as she turned to finally face her.

"So Jack wants to date me, for us to give us a go like we should have all those years ago." She stammered as she provided the highlights of their conversation,

"Excuse me?" Abigail said in surprise, whilst it was long time coming she didn't think Jack would act as quickly as he had

"He said that he didn't want me to bolt, that he knew a bolter because he was one and he apologised for doing that to me and to us. Abigail, I want to be happy and excited and I am but is he asking now for all the right reasons or is he just scared to lose me? Did I inadvertently play chicken?" Elizabeth finally took a breath looking at Abigail expectantly.

"Elizabeth, it's natural to feel overwhelmed and it's okay to ask the questions you're asking. Are they merited? To some degree they are, but Jack loves you. That boy now a man has loved you from the moment he got to know you. It's natural for him to be scared to lose you, he's here and this could finally be your time and he doesn't want to miss that simply because he's too scared. That's how he lost you last time."

"I don't want him to want us simply because he's scared to lose me."

"You know that's not his reason."

"Do I Abigail?" She asked uncertainly biting her lower lip,

"Talk to Jack about how you feel,"

"That's great first date conversation Abigail," Elizabeth said wryly.

"Well you'd be preoccupied with it anyway so you may as well address it on the get go."

"I guess you're right. We're going out tonight. Can we not mention this to anyone else until I survive through it first?"

"Sure, but don't not say anything because you're expecting the worst. He didn't just think this up Elizabeth, it's been in his heart for as long as I've known him."

"I don't doubt his sincerity Abigail," Elizabeth assured her friend,

"I'm just, I don't know." Elizabeth sat on the stool by the kitchen island and poked at the chocolate fudge cake that Abigail slipped in front of her.

"Mom, someone's on the phone for you." Becky called out from the front. Abigail excused herself and left Elizabeth to take her call.

"I thought you promised to not talk yourself out of it." A voice said interrupting her thoughts. She looked up and smiled as she saw him leaning against the door unsure of how long he had been there.

"Logan wanted Abigail's for lunch and we were both excited to see your car parked out front. I thought you girls had a spa day planned."

"We're meeting Rosie and Faith here," she answered. Jack walked over and stood on the other side of the island and took both her hands in his.

"Want to tell me what goes on in the pretty head of yours?" Elizabeth took a deep breath,

"I worry that I inadvertently played chicken with you by pulling back. I have prayed that this moment would come since we probably first met, I didn't want it to be because you thought I would bolt. I'm a little scared that you made the decision in haste because you don't want to lose me because Jack if that's what it is, you have to know you will never truly lose me."

Jack intertwined his fingers with her and looked at her meaningfully,

"I wanted to have that conversation with you the moment I saw you at Hyde Park and every minute in between and possibly before because I knew and I guess I've always known that I love you. I know how much I hurt you when I seemingly switched off my feelings and friend zoned you back in Hope Valley. I saw the same look in your eyes when I told you about Emily. I saw you count the cost and whilst you could have just walked away, you didn't. You still welcomed and made sure I was enfolded back into the inner circle. You made sure I was part of the family and you seamlessly transitioned my son from not knowing anyone to having friends and a sense of family. He's gone from a withdrawn kid he has been for almost a year back to a rambunctious kid with an abundance of energy bugging me to take him to Aunt Abigail's because he wants to see Cody, Becky and Peter who have become his instant cousins. Don't discount the impact you have. What an incredible force you have always been in my life and now my sons. It's who you are, who you've always been that I loved and I need you to hear me when I say that I love you Elizabeth Thatcher. I have loved you for as long as I remember and I am sorry it has taken me this long to tell you." Elizabeth cupped his face with both hands,

"I love you too," Jack grinned and made his way around to her side of the table and drew her into his arms.

"I never realised how much I wanted to hear you say that until now." Jack brought his lips to hers and Elizabeth's heart just about burst with happiness. Their moment was cut short by the clearing of Abigail's throat, blushing Elizabeth attempted to step out of Jack's arms who refused to release her.

"Jack," she protested embarrassed whilst Abigail laughed in amusement,

"I'm guessing he's been wanting to do that for years so he's just not quite ready to let you jump out of his arms in an account of me," Jack laughed

"Not so violently anyway," he replied kissing the side of Elizabeth's head before releasing her. Elizabeth rolled her eyes at him,

"Aunt B," Logan shrieked with happiness as he walked into the kitchen bolting straight to her wrapping his arms around her waist as she hugged him back. Just as the Stanton kids did, Logan Thatcher referred to her as Aunt B.

"Hey Little Man, are you here for lunch?" Logan nodded enthusiastically.

"Aunt Abigail said I could have cheeseburger and chocolate milkshake, but she said we had to play a game first and I had to count to a hundred before coming in here to say hello to you." Jack and Elizabeth chuckled. Elizabeth threw Abigail a grateful glance. Elizabeth picked him up and shifted him to her side,

"What do you say we make your milkshake? Aunt Rosie and Aunt Faith aren't here so whilst Chef cooks your burger we can do that."

"Yes please." As Elizabeth and Logan made their way towards the walk in freezer for the ice cream. Abigail gave Jack's arm a supportive squeeze.

"You look after my girl you hear?" She said sternly but affectionately. Jack understood and placed a hand over the hand that sat on his arm,

"You know I will. I love her Abigail. I always have,"

"I know, now you get to show her just how much."

Just as Elizabeth had sat Logan down with his cheeseburger and milkshake the girls had arrived. Not at all surprised that Elizabeth was in a booth with Logan and Jack. As she rose to her feet Jack did too.

"Elizabeth you ready to go?" Rosie asked as she nodded in reply. She gave Logan's head a quick ruffle as she bid him goodbye. He grinned and leaned over for a hug,

"Bye Aunt B,"

"Enjoy your afternoon ladies." Jack said pleasantly as Abigail and Elizabeth gathered their belongings.

"We will thanks," Jack helped Elizabeth into her jacket and kissed her cheek. Blushing for what felt like the millionth time in the last hour she gave his hand a squeeze before leaving with the girls. The exchange was not at all missed by her girlfriends, but Faith and Rosie at least waited until they got in the car before they harassed her.

"What was that?"

"What?" Elizabeth said nonchalantly, Abigail knew she was teasing them. Rosie paused for a moment, she almost got away with it but Abigail's face gave it away.

"Something happened! Start talking Thatcher!"

Elizabeth had a great afternoon with her girlfriends despite the interrogation that she had been subjected to. She knew how they worried about her and was touched that they were so incredibly happy for her. While they were having coffee post pampering she received a text from Jack,

"Hey Beautiful, Lee is here to pick up Rosie. Can I tell him or would you like to?" Elizabeth grinned as she replied,

"You can tell him but be ready for the talking to of your life because Leland Coulter is worse than my father." She warned,

"Jack's just asked me if he could tell Lee," she told the girls who laughed

"He's brave, he does realise it's you he's talking about?" Rosie pointed out,

"It's cute he asked for your permission first," Faith observed,

"I think it's because of our relationship. He thinks I may want to tell Lee myself,"

"Which is valid consideration." Abigail replied. Before Elizabeth could say anything further her phone lit up again,

"I figure whether it be now or later he's going to sit me down for a talk so may as well do it now. Besides I have Logan here so he can't threaten to beat me up."

"Shameless, wait is Logan okay with you and me? What did you say? What did he say? Is he okay about it?" She typed furiously. Jack chuckled,

"Breathe, he's fine. We talked about it. I explained how important you are to me and he's okay. Elizabeth I promise."

"Okay, just checking, good luck with Lee. I'll see you tonight."

"I'm looking forward to it,"

Elizabeth went straight home from their afternoon of girl fun. Jack couldn't help but be disappointed to see that she wasn't with them upon their return but he knew it was because she wanted to get ready for their night. After she had showered and finished drying her hair the knock she was waiting for all afternoon had come,

"Leland," she said opening the door

"Elizabeth," he replied as he hugged her hello.

"Did he live to tell?" She teased,

"You make me sound so unreasonable," he protested but not at all apologetic,

"Protective, not unreasonable and in case I don't say it enough I appreciate and love you for it."

"I know, and that's what token big brothers are for. How do you feel?"

"For the most part, happy. Admittedly I was a little freaked out after our initial conversation but he's a talker so he made me talk about it. So we did. I love him Lee, I always have. I want to give this my all because however this ends I want to be able to say I gave it my all. No regrets."

"For what it's worth he thinks you are the moon and the stars,"

"He totally has an unrealistic perception of me," she replied with an eye roll.

"You're incredible Beth, don't short change yourself. He sees the best in you just as you see the best of him. Enjoy this new season of your life. Be kind to each other, but most of all be kind to yourself. Know that it won't always be easy, that you will fight, that you will frustrate each other but it's the lessons you learn along the way that will strengthen you as a couple. Just never forget to keep God at the centre because he's the one that brought you two together." Elizabeth leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"You're the best big brother in the world, token or not. I'd choose you every time."

"Stop, you make me blush."

She and Lee talked wedding while she finished getting ready. Lee had won the argument of Elizabeth being his best man, but the compromise was that Elizabeth would have a bridesmaid's dress to change into. For photos and the reception as she would be standing next to Lee with a matching tuxedo. Rosemary's younger sister would be standing beside her as her Maid of Honour.

At 6:30 she was done and walked out of her room dressed in a black dress and floral heels. Her hair was out, dried with her natural curls hanging loosely. Her make up was minimal but it accentuated her best features.

"Ummm hello there, who are you?" Lee teased

"You tell my baby cousin to get out here,"

"You're hilarious Leland, now as much as I'd hate to throw you out, I don't really want Jack to pick me up and you're here doing your best impersonation of my dad to date."

"I don't know what you're talking about Bethie, I'd be hurt if I had feelings." Lee feigned shock,

"Of course you don't, and we both know you don't have feelings so for the love of all things Rosemary will you please relocate to your fiancé's." she said walking over to the door.

"Too late," he said as they heard Jack's footsteps by her door. The door was open so he could actually hear them as he walked up her drive way. Amused Jack knocked on the security door grinning at them both. Elizabeth rolled her eyes up heavenward and opened the door.

"Elizabeth you look incredible," he said blushing and flustered. Lee gave Elizabeth and 'I told you wink'.

"Thank you. Please come in." She said opening the door for him. Jack stepped in and placed a kiss on her cheek before handing her a bouquet of flowers.

"Jack they're beautiful and my favourite."

"On that note I'm off to talk more wedding with my fiancé. You two enjoy your evening. Now remember young man, home by curfew."

"Leland, get out." Elizabeth said embarrassed. Lee only smiled at her and kissed her cheek, waved to Jack and bounded down the stairs.

"Some days I want to strangle him, Elizabeth said as she went to put the flowers in a vase. Once she had placed them on the table she smiled at him. Jack walked over to her and kissed her, softly, slowly, pouring every feeling the coursed through his body into that kiss leaving her breathless as he reluctantly pulled back resting his forehead against hers. Elizabeth kissed him once more before wrapping her arms around him, hugging him tightly as he held her close.

"As much as I would hate to move right now, we have a reservation at 7:30."

"Okay, I'm ready to go. I just need to grab my coat from my room." Regretfully he loosened his hold on her so that she could go to her room grab the rest of her things. He helped her into her coat and locked up behind them. Taking her hand they walked to his car. Jack couldn't believe they were finally here, the moment he never thought they'd get to have. He brought her hand to his lips before opening the door for her.

Jack was always physically affectionate with her. It was one of the things she loved the most about him. Back when they were just friends, it would be an arm around her shoulder, a hand on her back. Now it seemed it was even more prominent.

As a first date, he wanted it to be special. He knew that it wouldn't have mattered where he took her, that Elizabeth was more about him being present that any expensive restaurant. By the modesty in which she chooses to live, you wouldn't know that she was an heiress. He knew that whatever she owned, or was working towards was out of her own sweat. He loved that about her.

Jack had reserved a table at a hatted restaurant he knew was on her wish list. She and Rosemary were part of a foursome of friends that great up together. There was Maggie and there was Page. They had all met when their families moved into the same neighbourhood and ended up going to the same primary school. They spent a lot of time at each other's houses and as they grew older, they were lucky enough to maintain those friendships and grow together from season to season. He knew that the four of them had a tradition of hitting one of the restaurants on their wish list of fancy restaurants they wanted to try. Eliminating birthday presents altogether. They were lucky enough to have their birthdays far apart from each other to allow them to save from one to the other. He had asked Rosemary awhile back to recommend a place Elizabeth wanted to go to that they hadn't yet hit. He masked it as a potential thank you for all the help with Logan. To which she did not at all buy. She told him about the French Bistro that Page had already gone to but Elizabeth was wanting to try. As they came around the corner, she saw the restaurant,

"Jack!" she exclaimed,

"How did you? This is too much? How did you even get a booking?" Jack smiled at her enthusiasm.

"I asked Rosie what was on top of your list. It's not too much, it's our first date. I booked this weeks ago."

"What?"

"I didn't decide to tell you how I felt this morning Elizabeth, I've been working my way to it. I just wanted us to have a couple of months under our belt, so we were in a position that we knew each other as who we are now and not riding on who we were before or what we thought before. I wanted to make sure you still felt that way about me. As you started to pull away, I realised how hard I was making it for you, and I'm sorry."

"It's okay Jack, we start new today. I understand now what you were trying to do. I appreciate you doing all this for me, but you know that I would have been just as happy with a pizza on a blanket at a beach. All that matters to me is you're there." She said sincerely as she looped an arm through his resting her chin on his shoulder looking up at him affectionately. Jack grinned and kissed her forehead before her lips.

"Let's go," he said wrapping an arm around her waist as they walked in.

The ambiance of the restaurant was certainly appropriate for a first date. Dimmed lights, circular booths, rustic tones, candle light and a grand piano at the corner being played by a man dressed in tails. Jack guided Elizabeth into the booth first before sliding in beside her. As she sat on his right, his right arm was resting behind her whilst she held this left hand in hers under the table. They were sitting so close to each other that it was hard to tell where he ended and she began but it was neither inappropriate or too much. They just looked like two incredibly in love young couple. She was telling him a story animatedly and he found himself brushing her hair away from her shoulder as though it was something he had been doing their whole lives.

"You're looking at me like you've never seen me before," she noted bemused,

"Honestly, everything right now feels like a first. It's like I'm seeing things through a different pair of eyes." Elizabeth scrunched up her nose, a trait he had loved from the moment they met.

"You're pretty corny, but I do love you." She said so casually that she didn't have time to catch herself. Jack grinned and stole a kiss,

"I don't think I will I ever tire of hearing you say that."

"Well, I think it's a pretty safe bet that you will be hearing it often."

"I'm looking forward to it."

Dinner was great. They talked a lot about everything. They talked about Logan. Going back to school. About their relationship, about both their fears of not wanting to screw it up. Both were quite open and honest, which was a game changer for both. After dinner he had driven them to her favourite beach. He rolled his pants up and they both took their shoes off. He took a blanket out of his back seat and handed her one of his hoodies he had brought for her knowing that her coat would get ruined on the beach and she'd be cold without it. Elizabeth slipped on his hoodie before they made their way towards the water. It was dark out but the moonlight was bright. He lay the blanket down before guiding her to sit down. Jack sat behind Elizabeth as she comfortably leaned with her back against his chest.

"I never thought we would ever get here." She confessed as their hands lay intertwined against her stomach. Jack kissed her temple,

"I know, for a moment there I thought you'd finally given up on me, on us. That scared me." Elizabeth turned her head and reached up to caress his face wordlessly allowing her touch to convey what she was feeling.


	4. Chapter 4

The days that followed involved creating new routines incorporating each other's lives in said routines. It wasn't just het schedule, or Jack's schedule, but primarily Logan's. Elizabeth was great with him. A couple of days a week the three of them had breakfast together at Abigail's and she would bring him to school with her. Other days he would drop Logan off and sneak in to see her briefly. The rest of the days it was Tommy who was on Logan pick up and drop off duty as his job allowed him to work mainly from home. Logan was great at English but found math to be hard so Peter was tutoring him at the Diner once a week. On tutoring nights, he went home with Elizabeth and she drove them both to the Diner where Jack and the rest of their gang would meet them for dinner. Logan was settling in well in his new home and it gave Jack great peace. Logan loved Elizabeth, and shared her rather well with the Stanton kids.

"Auggie, what else did you need me to bring?" she asked as she packed for their Ski Trip. It was winter and she had volunteered to go as one of the adults to his class ski trip as one of the other teachers had fallen ill. Primary school was already on school holidays so she had the time off.

"I think I have everything. Did you need ski gloves? I have a spare set."

"Ah yes, I was going to pick some up today but I totally forget so thank you."

"No problem."

"I baked brownies and oatmeal and raisin cookies,"

"I love you." He replied making her chuckle.

"Are you sure you don't want us to swing by and get you tomorrow to save Antoni the drive?"

"Yeah, he wants to drive me. He's needy when I'm leaving him for a whole week." Elizabeth laughed,

"I get that. Logan has been attached to me every day since school holidays began a week ago knowing I would be gone the whole second week of the holidays."

"I'm sure his Dad isn't far behind." He guessed correctly.

"You could say that. It's the first time we've been apart for longer than a day or two since he arrived."

"I'm looking forward to the road trip. Thanks for filling a gap Beth."

"Of course, what are friends for?"

After Elizabeth had finished packing she had headed over to Jack's. Tommy had a date that evening and Jack had offered to cook dinner for the three of them. Elizabeth knew Jack wasn't thrilled that she was leaving for a week. It wasn't that he was just going to miss her, it was that she was spending her holidays essentially working. Knowing how hard she worked during the school term, he knew that only down time she really had was the holidays. She had let herself into the Thornton home with keys he had long since gotten cut for her.

"Hello," she called out.

"In the kitchen," replied Jack's voice. She followed the unbelievable smell all the way to the kitchen seeing Jack with his apron and oven mitts on as he took what looked like shepherds pie out of the oven.

"Hi Baby," she greeted cheerfully. Jack put the pie down on the stove to rest before dinner. He removed the oven mitts from his hand and kissed her hello.

"Hi Sweetheart. You all packed?" Elizabeth nodded,

"Why is it so quiet in here, where's the kid?" she asked. Jack smiled,

"He and Cody are bowling with Peter. Abigail said she'll drop him off when they're done."

"Oh he'd love that. Can I help?" she asked.

"Can you please set the table?"

"Of course." Elizabeth grabbed the placemats and plates from their rightful places.

"I brought you guys oatmeal cookies and brownies too. I had baked a batch for the trip so I made extra for you boys. I however, left it in my car. I'll grab it once I've finished setting the table."

"Thank you. Logan and Tommy will be excited for that." They worked in quiet unison and Elizabeth knew he was in deep thought. She had slipped out to her car to grab the cookies and when she returned he was washing what he used to cook. She put the cookies on the table and walked up behind him to wrap her arms around his waist,

"Are you still mad at me for going?" drawing him out of his thoughts. Jack washed his hands and wiped them dry on his apron before turning around to face her,

"Sweetheart, I'm not mad at you. I was never mad at you. I know you want to go to ski camp because you love what it means for the kids. I was never mad at you. I'm sorry if it seemed I was. I've just been preoccupied. I just have a few things going on."

"What's going on? You're the talker remember. Talk. What goes on in that pretty head of yours?" she asked using his words on him. Jack smiled and caressed her face lovingly,

"I love you. We'll talk. I promise. I just need to unpack it first okay?" Elizabeth dropped her arms from his waist,

"Sure," she replied hurt evident in her eyes. She turned to finish setting the table when he grabbed her arms to draw her back to him.

"I'm sorry." He said solemnly.

"I know."

They ate dinner in silence mostly. She was relieved when Logan had come bursting into the house. Logan threw his arms around her greeting her hello as Abigail followed close behind.

"I return to you one fed and should be exhausted child."

"Thank you Abigail." Jack said gratefully.

"You're so welcome. Elizabeth, I have organised a basket for you and Auggie. Will you be okay to pick it up? It should be ready by 6."

"Thank you Abigail. Auggie and I are taking the school van transporting everyone's luggage while the kids will be on the mini bus. I think we're leaving earlier than the bus to make sure all the kids things are waiting for them when they get to the accommodation and we can be there to help them with their equipment hire. I can pick up the food before heading to the school. Speaking of which, I should really get going. I have to wake up early. I'll walk out with you Abigail." Elizabeth said rising from her chair leaving a mostly uneaten plate. Jack looked at her surprised. Abigail raised her eyebrow at Elizabeth asking if she had interrupted something.

"I just remembered that I need to pick up a couple of things form Target that I need for the trip." She explained feebly.

"I can take you after dinner," Jack offered knowing he had set their current tone.

"No, I'm good. Thank you." She replied. Elizabeth turned to Logan,

"I'll see you in a few days okay Bud. Be good for your Dad and Uncle Tommy, and when I get back you and I can have a date just you and me." She promised. Logan nodded and hugged her,

"I'll miss you Aunt Bea."

"I'll miss you too Bud." Elizabeth grabbed her jacket and bag,

"I'll talk to you later." She said looking at him but at not meeting gaze. She knew she was leaving him with a whiplash but if he wasn't willing to talk to her, she wasn't going to sit there in silence with him for the next couple of hours. Jack stepped towards her as she found herself stepping back.

"Elizabeth," he said softly in a quiet plea,

"It's okay. You do what you have to do. I'll be fine. You don't have to drive me tomorrow, I can just leave my car at the school."

"Elizabeth, I'll pick you up tomorrow morning to drop you off as planned." He stated not leaving room for negotiation. She answered with a shrug and led Abigail out the door.

"What did we walk into?" Abigail asked she walked Elizabeth back to her car.

"A whole lot of nothing. He won't talk to me, so I don't know. I just refuse to sit there in an uncomfortable silence. I may as well be productive. I actually do need a couple of things from Target so I'm going to wander around the 24 hour one to clear my head."

"Do you want company? I just need to drop my kids home first."

"No, I'm good. I probably need to figure out why I'm so mad at him right now."

"Good plan." Abigail replied.

"Call if you need to bounce. I will be up for a few. I need get the bread ready for proofing before I go to bed."

"Thanks Abigail, you're the best." Elizabeth said giving her friend a hug before driving off in her car. Jack who had watched them depart returned the wave from Abigail as she climbed into her own car.

Jack dropped Elizabeth a quick text before getting Logan ready for bed. His appetite also lost. Elizabeth heard her phone ping with a message and she didn't need to look at it to see who it was from. She walked around Target for the list of things she needed. Once that was accomplished, she wandered around aimlessly trying to outwalk her own thoughts. Jack had been distant for a few days, she thought it was because he was mad that she chose to go to the ski trip but she realised it was a little before that. He had been distant and moody. He was always apologetic and she thought it may have been work, but now she was convinced it wasn't.

As she got ready for bed her she had yet to read and reply to Jack's message. She felt exhausted all of a sudden.

"Elizabeth, I'm sorry."

"You're the talker so when you don't talk it throws me. We're supposed to be partners, a team and if you're not telling me what's going on with you then that means somethings amiss. I get that you need time to process. I guess it throws me because that's my default and not yours. Take the time you need. We can talk when I get back."

To no surprise to her, her phone rang.

"I'm not punishing you Jack. I'm giving you what you asked for. I'm not walking away, I'm not mad." Disappointed, but not mad. She added only to herself.

"Elizabeth,"

"It's okay. I'll see you when I get back okay. I've talked to Auggie, he and Antoni will pick me up on their way. You need to be able to unpack what's in your head without me in the equation. Seeing me off tomorrow isn't going to help you with that and to be honest it wont help me either. So let's table this for when I get back."

"I love you,"

"For what it's worth I did not consider for a moment that you didn't. Get some rest. Do something fun with Logan tomorrow. I'll see you in a few days. I love you."


	5. Chapter 5

Despite the uncertainty she felt, she meant it when she told him that she was willing to table their conversation for a later date. She was the type that needs time to unpack so she couldn't begrudge him of that need. It may have hurt her feelings but it wasn't an unreasonable ask. When they pulled up to Abigail's Diner early the next morning there he stood waiting for her. He looked like he hadn't slept all night. Her heart went out to him. Auggie and Antoni went on ahead to grab the food from inside as Elizabeth walked over to him.

"Baby you need some sleep. I told you, you didn't have to come. We're okay." She said lovingly cupping his face with her hand. Wordlessly Jack pulled her into his arms hugging her so tightly against him that she could barely breathe. She could feel his heart race against her. He buried his face on her shoulder as Elizabeth's caressed his head soothingly,

"I love you," she repeated softly over and over again in his ear and his heart began to slow and beat in rhythm with hers.

"Do you need me to stay?" She asked now officially worried.

"No, I just needed to see you." He said hoarsely. She pulled back slightly to look at him,

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah sweetheart." He assured her giving her a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm sorry I worried you."

Antoni and Auggie emerged from the Diner with Abigail in tow. She looked worriedly from Elizabeth and Jack.

"Ready to go?" Auggie asked,

"Augs, you mind if I follow. Jack will drive me." She said looking at Jack who nodded,

"Of course. Take your time. See you at the school," Auggie assured her as they climbed back into their car.

"Be safe on the the Elizabeth," Abigail said giving her friend a hug.

"I'll keep an eye on him," she said softly in her ear.

"Thank you," Abigail gave Jack's arm a squeeze before leaving the couple alone. Elizabeth stepped towards Jack,

"Keys please, you're in no shape to drive. Don't even try," she warned. Jack handed her his keys. As she drove Elizabeth kept his hand on her knee.

"Elizabeth," he said noticing that they were headed to his home.

"I'm driving you home. I'm going to stay with you until Auggie picks me up en route to ski camp."

"Thank you,"

As it was barely 6am the Thornton House was quiet. She led him up to his room and tucked him into bed. She sat on top of his covers as she ran her fingers through his hair until he fell asleep. Elizabeth went downstairs to check on Logan who was still asleep and grab water for Jack from the fridge. She jumped a mile to come face to face with Tommy who was not known for getting up early.

"Aren't you supposed to be at Ski Camp?"

"Yeah, I'm not so sure now. Tommy, I don't know what's going on with Jack I've never seen him this way."

"He didn't tell you?" Tommy said in disbelief,

"Uh, today is Emily's death anniversary. Today a year ago she got in the car and she never came home." Not a novice at death anniversaries, she knew the depth of his pain, and she now understood the moods leading up to the day, the erratic behaviour. She got it, she lived it. Elizabeth sighed,

"Will you excuse me, I just need a minute." Tom watched as Elizabeth walked out to the back and sat on their back porch stairs. She sighed and called Rosemary,

"Hey Rosie, I need a 'hail mary' favour."

Jack awoke with a start, he sat up from his bed immediately looking for Elizabeth. He felt a hand on his arm,

"Hey, you're okay." She assured him. It was well after noon and he had slept right through lunch.

"You're supposed to be at camp."

"Rosie is covering for me and I will head on up later on. I'm here if you need me. If you'd rather be alone, that's okay too. I just didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

"Thank you. Elizabeth, today is Emily's death anniversary."

"I know, Tommy told me."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"I know. Can I get you anything? It's 2 in the afternoon, you haven't eaten since last night and I would guess that wasn't much either. Why don't you come downstairs and eat something? Logan just finished eating."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. How's Logan?"

"Jack he's still so little. I don't think he fully grasps what today is." She said gently.

"That's probably a blessing."

"Why don't you get dressed. I'll make you a sandwich." She dropped a kiss on his head and headed downstairs.

When Jack came down the stairs after his shower, he found them at the back of the house, Logan sitting on Elizabeth's lap as she read to him the Narnia Series that she has started with him. Logan looked incredibly content in her arms his back to her chest as one hand held the book whilst the other caressed his hair rocking gently on the porch swing. She looked at him and smiled.

"Hey Bud, what do you say we go inside and keep Daddy company while he eats something." Logan nodded and stood to his feet taking Jack's hand in his.

Elizabeth purposely lagged behind them to take a breath. Doing her best to keep it together. Could she hold his hand whilst he mourns for the love of his life. She couldn't help wonder if he talked to Emily about everything, which he obviously wasn't comfortable doing with her. She was doing her very best to fight off her own insecurities. As he approached the table he saw the saw the photo albums he had kept in a box in the hall closet.

"What are these doing out?" he asked. She tried not to feel hurt by the accusation behind his eyes that she had invaded their privacy.

"I didn't go through them. I asked Tommy where they were and he brought them to the table. I thought it would be a good day for you to sit with Logan and explain what today is. Go through pictures, remember. So he remembers." She added quietly making it a point that this wasn't about him but about Logan. Preserving the little memory he had and widening his knowledge. Reminding him who she was and how much she loved him. Shame filled his eyes immediately,

"Elizabeth,"

"I know," she said reassuringly. Taking that as her cue she grabbed her jacket and keys. Rosie had dropped her car off to her, and Auggie picked Rosie up from Jack's.

"I'm going to leave you guys to spend the afternoon together. I still have a drive ahead of me."

"Thank you."

"Of course." Elizabeth crouched down to be at Logan's eye level.

"Bye Buddy, I'll see soon okay?"

"Thanks for hanging out with me this morning Aunt B." he said wrapping his arms around her neck.

"Of course little man, anytime."

"Hey Bud, I'm just going to walk Aunt B out okay."

"It's okay Jack, I can see my way out." She said not really giving him an option.


	6. Chapter 6

Elizabeth drove past Abigail's to grab coffee and food for the road. If she didn't have to make pit stops she would make it in time for dinner with the kids. She technically could have stayed the night and make an early start in the morning as she would never let Rosie drive such a long way home alone at night. However, it was important that Jack did this anniversary with Logan alone. For both of them.

Abigail took one look at Elizabeth and drew her into a hug. She felt the weight Elizabeth carried that day. She was incredibly proud of her but knew it took a toll and it came with a cost. Watching the love of your life fall apart in mourning for the love of his life was traumatizing at best. Abigail knew that Elizabeth's head was flying a million miles a minute. Peter came out with a thermos of hot coffee, and iced mocha for the road and an insulated bag full of food.

"Kid, it's a four hour drive. I'm not getting stranded in a deserted island." She joked, making them all laugh.

"Drive safe Aunt B. I sent you a Spotify playlist you can jam to on your drive."

"Awww thanks P. I totally need a playlist. I didn't make one because I planned to drive Auggie nuts with carpool karaoke roulette."

"I'm sure he's really upset about missing that this morning." Peter said laughing. He kissed her cheek before heading back into the kitchen to help the chef prep for dinner.

"He's such a good kid."

"It helps that he has such great adults around him."

"You should introduce me to these adults you speak of." Elizabeth replied with a smile.

"Call if you need to bounce. It's a long drive."

"Oh I'll be bouncing," assured Abigail and pointed heavenward.

"Good girl. Drive safe. Take plenty of breaks. If you're tired, you pull over you hear."

"Yes Ma'am. Thank you Abigail."

"It's what friends are for."

"I'll let you know when I get there. I'm going to go off the grid okay? If it's important, text Auggie." Abigail nodded as she hugged Elizabeth once more before sending her off her way.

Jack went through the photo albums with Logan. Telling him the story attached to each and every one of the pictures. By the time they had finished he felt remarkably better. His eye caught the rose in a glass of water on the counter.

"That's for you. Aunt B took me to the beach this morning so I could send a rose to Mommy. She said if you wanted to I should take you when you woke up to send one to Mommy too. Aunt B and I prayed for Mommy this morning. She thought you and I should pray for Mommy together."

"I think that's a great idea buddy. Shall we go?"

True to her word, the moment she got in the car she turned her phone on airplane mode. She put her Spotify on and found the playlist Peter had sent her. It turned out to be his favourite worship playlist. She knew it wasn't at all coincidental so she went with it. She confessed, she cried, she laid it at his feet.

She made it to the resort in good time. As she entered the cabin that she would be sharing with Rosie and Auggie she let out a breath that felt like she had been holding in all day. She collapsed on the bed in the room with Rosie's things knowing that Rosie and Auggie would be back shortly to get ready for dinner. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the peace. A little later on Auggie and Rosie found her in the very same position, asleep. Rosie laid a blanket over her friend. She and Auggie had made the executive decision to let her sleep.

"Hey Jack," Rosie answered confused as to why he was calling her,

"Hey Rosie, I was trying to reach Elizabeth but her phone seems to be out of range. I just wanted to see if she has arrived." Rosie picked up Elizabeth's phone and saw that it was on airplane mode. An Elizabeth Thatcher trademark when she'd had enough and wanted silence.

"Yeah she has. We just got to the room and Auggie and I found her passed out on the bed. She's probably down for the night."

"Oh okay, if she wakes up can you tell her that I called. That she can call me whatever time."

"Sure Jack, I will do."

Elizabeth woke up in the middle of the night with Rosie asleep beside her. She went into the kitchen for a glass of water and found Auggie on his way to bathroom. Wordlessly he opened his arms out for her and she walked into them. Rosie found them a half hour later, on the couch sharing a pint of ice cream in complete silence. Rosie grabbed a spoon and sat on the other side of Elizabeth who leaned her head on her best friend's shoulder. Rosie wished Lee was there sensing that Elizabeth needed him.

The following day instead of going home Rosie had stayed. She and Elizabeth had snowboarded with the kids who were on sit skis. It had been awhile since they had gone and she was glad it was like riding a bike and everything came back. Her phone remained on airplane mode in their bedroom back at the lodge and she was enjoying the silence.

"Hi Jack, her reception is sketchy at the best of times." She explained not completely fibbing as said statement was actually true.

"She's currently on top of the mountain giving Auggie a run for his money. The kids have gone in for the afternoon to work in their goals so we have free time. Mind you free time for these two is competing with each other."

"Rosie, I blew it, didn't I?"

"Jack, you didn't blow anything. I promise. I'll get Beth to call you from my phone when they're back."

"Thanks Rosie."

"Beth, you're going to need to throw him a bone before he shows up here" Elizabeth sighed and took the phone Rosemary held out to her as she walked through the door with Auggie. As though he had been waiting for her Jack answered the phone with one ring

"Elizabeth,"

"Hi Jack, Rosie said you called. Sorry my phone has no reception so I haven't bothered to bring it anywhere with me or turn it on. It's been me and the GoPro." She was babbling and she knew it.

"Sounds like you're having fun."

"I am thanks. We've managed to convince Rosie to stay the duration so it kind of feels like we're on holidays. A college student on holidays but holidays all the same. How's Logan?"

"He's good. Wait he wants to talk to you."

"Okay,"

"Aunt B! Guess what?" For the next ten minutes Logan Thornton filled her in on all she had missed out on in the almost a day they had apart. Elizabeth listened with genuine interest. When he seemed done she told him that she had to go.

"Okay, here's Daddy. I miss you Aunt B. I love you." Elizabeth swallowed,

"I miss you too Bud. I love you too." Jack came back on the phone,

"Hey I have to go. My group is on dinner duty."

"I'll see you when you get back?"

"Yes, we're not sure what day exactly. Rosie and I are thinking of visiting the parentals on the way home as it's almost along the way. Will keep you posted."

Elizabeth handed Rosemary her phone knowing she didn't really give Jack an opportunity to speak. If she were honest, that was all she was capable of.

Jack ran into Lee at Abigail's. Lee got the rundown from Rosemary with Elizabeth's permission. Rosemary had quietly told him that she thought Elizabeth might need him as she hadn't really talked Jack since she drove up.

"Lee, how you doing?" Jack asked

"I'm well thanks bud! You?"

"Better thanks. I hear you lost your fiancé to ski camp," Lee laughed,

"I did but she's having a blast. Next year she'll be demanding for Auggie to let her go."

"It sounds like it. She mentioned that the three of them have been racing each other down the slopes on their snowboard."

"That sounds about right. Elizabeth and Rosemary have grown up with their families spending a week in Vermont skiing so it's second nature to them and Auggie is just competitive."

"I'm glad they're having fun. Are you here for lunch?"

Elizabeth went for a walk after dinner. They were staying at a pretty secure lodge, and they were at the year before so they weren't too worried when she wandered off knowing she just needed some time to herself.

"Penny for your thoughts," Elizabeth looked up and smiled,

"Surely they're worth more than that Leland," Lee sat on the park swing beside her,

"Doesn't this bring back memories?" Elizabeth smiled remembering their summers together growing up, spent at parks swinging and random adventures.

"That's what this place reminds me of. Did my subconscious summon you? Or just Rosemary?"

"A little of both actually," he replied while she nodded not at all surprised.

"I know that grief Lee, I understand it more than I want to. I don't begrudge him of it. I honestly don't. But I do think we may have entered this a little too quickly."

"Bethie,"

"It was a look Lee. It was a look that I invaded their privacy, like I stepped on sacred grounds. It was brief but it was significant. It hit home. I never want to be that person that inserted themselves in a situation and right now that's how I feel."

"That's not how he feels."

"No Lee, that's not how he wants to feel. There's a difference. See I know that Jack loves me. That to some degree he's always loved me. But Emily was, is the love of his life. She was the one he married. He chose her. He never chose me. I wasn't worth that risk for him all those years ago. She was. I can't tell you how much it hurts to be jealous of a dead person. How terrible it feels but I can't shake it."

It was one thing to converse with God about it, it was another to say it out loud. It made it real. Lee knew enough that there were no words that would provide her with comfort. That it was resolute in her head and her heart.

"It was never about the timing Lee."

"It just wasn't me."


	7. Chapter 7

Elizabeth's phone remained on Airplane mode for the rest of the week. Elizabeth, Lee and Rosemary said their goodbyes to Auggie at the ski lodge as they headed home for a visit. Driving for a home visit felt nostalgic for both Elizabeth and Rosemary. It was reminiscent of their university days when both of their set of parents moved to Canberra after the girls finished high school and the girls would go home for weekends.

Lee was staying with Elizabeth and Uncle Will so they dropped Rosemary off to her parents first. Which was amusing as it literally was a couple of streets down from the Thatcher's. Elizabeth was forced to eventually take her phone off airplane mode as there was no longer the excuse of out of range that she could fall back on. Not at all surprisingly a flood of messages had come in. Most of which were from Jack. Without reading them she called him to tell him that they arrived.

"Hey, welcome back to civilisation." He greeted sounding like her Jack again, it literally hurt her heart to hear his voice

"Thanks! I haven't had a chance to go through all my messages yet but I just wanted to let you know we got home safe."

"Thank you. How was the rest of the week? No injuries?" The words not from snow boarding almost escaped her mouth.

"Just Auggie's pride as Rosemary and I beat him time after time."

"Poor Auggie, Lee mentioned you and Rosemary were snowboard babies."

"Yeah, no coordination walking but snowboard I manage quite well."

"Elizabeth,"

"Jack, can we not have that conversation over the phone?" She pleaded,

"What conversation do you think we're going to have?"

"Whatever it is that starts Elizabeth in that tone of voice."

"Okay, for the record mine doesn't end with a worst case scenario. I somehow don't feel confident that the conversation you want to have with me isn't my worst case scenario."

"Jack, please." Jack sighed running his hand through his hair.

"Okay. When are you back?"

"A few days at most. There's a couple of things I need to do while I'm home."

"Can I ask that you to not make any decisions about our future until we talk?"

"There are no decisions to make." She replied somewhat definitively.

"I have to go. Give Logan hugs for me." ]

"I will. Elizabeth, I love you." Elizabeth swallowed back the tears

"I know."

"Do you?" He challenged,

"Good night Jack, see you in a few days." She answered not addressing his question.

After she and Lee finally said goodnight Elizabeth found her father in his study. She knocked on his door drawing him out of this work. William looked up to see his daughter standing at his door in her flannel pyjamas and hoodie sweater looking like she did when she was a teenager.

"Right there you look 8 minus the teddy bear and pigtails,"

"How I wish. Am I interrupting you?"

"You're always a welcome interruption and distraction ladybug."

Elizabeth sat at the other side of Williams desk in one of the two high back chairs. She pulled her legs up to her chest and asked about his day just as she used to every night before going to bed.

"So Ladybug, want to tell your Pops what's going on?"

"It was Jack's wife's first death anniversary on Monday. I didn't know. He was moody days prior which isn't like him at all and when he wouldn't talk to me it hurt because he's the talker and if he wasn't willing to talk to me then what does that say? When I found out I understood because how many years has it been and it feels like it was just yesterday we lost Mom so I get it. Dad, when you lost Mom, when we all lost her I watched you fall apart as you should have. You loved her so much. I expect nothing less. The other side of that is I watched Jack mourn for the love of his life as he should. I just,"

"Wasn't prepared for how much that would hurt?"

"I knew he loved her, but I saw you in that moment. Knowing how much you loved Mom."

"You think if he loved her that much he can't possibly love you that much? That she was the great love of his life and what you think you come second to that?" He challenged. Elizabeth's eyes filled with tears,

"Yes." William Thatcher rose from his chair and walked around his desk to crouch in front of his middle daughter so that his eye was levelled with hers,

"You listen to me Elizabeth Grace Thatcher, you come second to no one."

"You're my father, you're not exactly unbiased." Elizabeth said wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"As your father, yes I am meant to love you. I am meant to see the best in you. But Elizabeth being your father doesn't make me have to like you and I do. You are hands down, one of my favourite people in the world. I love all my daughters equally, but as a person you and your Mom are hands down my favourite. The way you care about someone, how you seek to see the best in everyone you meet. That's unique. You have compassion, you have empathy. You have a wicked sense of humour. You make me laugh like no other, well your Mom aside. Whilst you are open to everyone, you are selective in who you allow to see you, to be in your inner circle. That tells me that you're about the quality and not quantity. It's the way you've always been. I know you're scared to love Jack more than you already do, sweetheart I do. But I have seen how that boy looks at you, whether you're in the room or not his mind is on you. He may have married her, but he's here. He loves you are you going to let your insecurity that's totally unfounded allow you to walk away from the one man you've ever loved. With the exception of your amazing father of course." Elizabeth chuckled,

"He loved her yes, and always will. They had a child together. Of course he loved her with all that he had, he wouldn't be the Jack you love if he didn't love that way." What he was saying made sense and she took it all in, her heart tried so hard to believe what he was trying to say.

The following day Elizabeth dropped Lee off at Rosemary's before starting out her day with the list of things she wanted to do. With her journal and bible on hand, a blanket under her arm she made her way to her mother's grave. Their family plot was a garden where her mother's ashes were buried. Her father had made sure that her mother's favourite flowers were planted all around it. Tulips, Roses, Gerbers, Iris'. It was beautiful all year around. The long stemmed red rose noted her father's most recent visit. Years later, he was still at her mother's grave at least once a week. Elizabeth was sure they still had the best conversations.

He watched as she sat on the blanket, face towards the sunshine, her eyes closed, mouth moving. It was either she was praying or having a conversation, either way she took his breath away. He could watch her all day long, but he had come for a reason. As he approached, her eyes remained close. He stopped footsteps away from her.

"What did you do, leave at dawn?" she asked not opening her eyes. Jack grinned,

"Maybe," She opened her eyes and squinted as he stood before her.

"Hi," she said softly,

"How'd you find me? Father or well meaning best friends?"

"The whole trifecta if you really want to know."

"Of course."

"To be fair, I knew where you'd be. It was just the actual location that I needed to clarify. May I sit?" he asked as she nodded scooting over to make room for him. Jack sat close beside her. He felt her still as he brushed against her. He brushed her hair from her shoulders as she closed eyes trying her best to hold it together. There were a myriad of emotions she hid from him as she did so,

"Elizabeth," he said softly his heart tightened as he watched her take a breath before opening her eyes to look at him. Seeing the pain, hurt and anguish behind them left him breathless. Wordlessly he drew her into his arms,

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry." Elizabeth breathed him in closing her eyes once more as though committing him to her memory, to her heart.

"No. You hear me, no." He said holding her tighter against him, cradling her head with his hand to his chest.

"You don't get to make decisions about us without talking to me so no."

"Jack,"

"No," he said so firmly that she chuckled and moved her head to look at him,

"You don't even know what I'm going to say,"

"Elizabeth,"

"Jack,"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't honest. That I didn't tell you about what was coming up. It wasn't that I didn't or couldn't trust you with it but I was trying so hard to keep you and Emily separate. Most of all I'm so sorry for how I made you feel when all you wanted to do was make sure Logan never forgot her."

"Admittedly that may have been the one pushed me over the line." She confessed,

"Jack, I can live with you having loved Emily as much as you did/do. You wouldn't be the person I fell in love with if you weren't capable of such love. When I watched you that day after I found out the significance of the day it was like watching my Dad all over again. I know that grief. After so many years I still live through it. I would never begrudge you the time you need to grieve." Elizabeth paused,

"When you asked me about the albums on the table you looked at me like I invaded your privacy. That I stepped on sacred grounds. For the first time since we got together I wondered if you were truly ready for us. That maybe we jumped into this too quickly. See I don't doubt you love me, if there's one thing I'd bet on is that you do but Jack I can't compete with Emily's ghost nor do I want to. She's a part of you and a part of Logan so she will always be in some ways a part of us and that's okay. But I don't want to be the third party in your marriage. I don't want to be the one that's part of your marriage, your family like an addition. This is not a me or her situation. I'm not giving you an ultimatum, that is not and would never be my intention. This is me giving you the opportunity to reconcile all that and allow me to bow out while I think I could still recover."

"Elizabeth, I feel like I undid the last six months in a moment and I don't know how to fix that. You are not a third party to my marriage. The reason why I didn't say anything about Emily's anniversary is because I wanted so badly to keep us separate. Just as what I had with her is special what I have with you is indescribable. I have loved you for as long as I can remember and one would think time and seasons would fade that but if hasn't. You are not and never have been an addition. You did not insert yourself into this family you are a part of this family. I'm not asking you to compete with Emily, there is no competition. Emily was the mother of my child and I loved her but Elizabeth, what I have with you, there are no words for it. All I know is that you make me want to be the best version of me, not for anything else but the fact that when you look at me, that's what you see no matter what. Even now when, after everything."

"Jack, maybe this is one of those instances where love isn't enough."

"I don't believe that, and you don't believe that no matter how much you want to convince yourself so."

"What do you want Jack?"

"What I've always wanted, you." The flicker of disbelief in her eyes just about crushed his heart.

"Elizabeth, talk to me. What goes on in that mind?" he asked brushing her hair away from her forehead as she dropped her gaze. Elizabeth took a breath,

"I can't help but feel that if you really wanted me, it would have been me. In the end it wasn't. You met the person you wanted to be with and you pursued her, you married her."

Jack knew that was always in the back of her mind. Whilst she never said it out loud, or implied it, there were moments he caught that he knew she wondered where she fell in the pecking order. He understood it. He could never take back the moment he chose to not pursue her. He had to believe that it wasn't their time, that there were so many things that they still both had to learn. But how does he explain that to her when all she saw was that he didn't love her enough to tell her.

"You and I have had quite a history of hit and miss. I know I was the one who wigged while you were still in Hope Valley. I was so scared about how I felt for you only to have you leave again, and I couldn't begin to imagine how we were going to make it work, but at the end of the day I guess I wasn't ready for how big that was going to be. So I bolted. I played it safe and we stayed friends. When we lost touch and yes I am to blame for that it justified my decision to bolt, then I met Emily and with the exception of you in my life, I have never felt so strongly about someone as I did about her. We fell in love, we got married, had Logan. I thought everything had worked out the way they were supposed to, and then one day a couple of years later you came to Hope Valley,"

"and you saw me..." she finished for him,

"and everything came flooding back. It knocked the wind out of me, which is why I decided to not be around for the days that followed, the days that I knew you would be there. I loved my wife, and I wasn't going to tempt fate by seeing you again realizing that my feelings for you were still unresolved. I had made a commitment to my wife and I planned to keep it. When she died, my world crumbled, the grief was and still is overwhelming. When the opportunity to come to Sydney arose it was a no brainer and despite how I downplayed it, I came here in large part, for you. Yes I wanted a new beginning for me and for Logan, but I would be lying if I didn't say that I wanted to see if what we had was still there. Then I saw you that day and I knew that my feelings hadn't changed and neither had yours. Then I told you about Emily and you switched immediately into friend mode."

"Self preservation. I didn't want to get my hopes up so I tried not to over think it."

"Going into this was never going to be casual, I had gone into this with a plan. Elizabeth, I wouldn't put any of us through that if I didn't think it was going to go anywhere, especially not with Logan to think of. I'm just as scared as you are. The thought of finally getting to where we are and losing you, it's unfathomable. It seems all I've done is make you question my truest intention,"

"Which is?"

"A future with you. Yes I let you, still the dumbest thing I have ever done. Yes I met someone else, married her and had a child but Elizabeth my not pursuing you all those years ago isn't because I didn't want you enough, it's because I didn't have enough to offer you. Elizabeth, I was a rookie cop, you had you had this bright future ahead of you, and I didn't want to hold you back knowing you still had dreams that were outside of Hope Valley. I didn't want to be what held you back."

"What you still don't get is that you have always been enough and all I've ever wanted was you."

"Elizabeth, give us another chance. Give me another chance.


	8. Chapter 8

***Thank you for leaving reviews. I truly appreciate your encouragement. This story has taken on a life of its own. I am incredibly flattered that you guys are so invested in the story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.***

"Jack, I'm not saying No but I'm not saying Yes either. I'm asking you for sometime and you can say no but I think we both need time." She took his hand in hers,

"When you showed up on this side of the world it literally spun me out. You and I both got so caught up in our history that after a couple of months we jumped in, and it has been an incredible 6 months. It leaves very little room for any regret, so please hear me when I say that I have no regrets. But Jack, you had just lost Emily a few months before that. You worked so hard to make sure that Logan went through his process of grieving and ensure that he was okay that you forgot to do that for yourself. When you saw me and all of those feelings were still there you deemed it okay because it was our history. I didn't threaten what you had with Emily because technically I was part of the life before her. It wasn't until you thought that I snuck a peak in your life with your wife, your family that it hit got cloudy. I saw it in your eyes and honestly Jack that's okay. I just can't be in this right now." She said bravely,

"I love you and history dictates that I probably will for the rest of my life but you need the time to grieve your wife and reconcile feelings you haven't dare address since she died. I may love you, but I choose me at this moment because I will hate myself if I am going to question us every day of our life. I owe me more than that. I didn't wait this long only to wonder if I got you by default."

Jack knew that there was no changing her mind and that she was absolutely reasonable in what she was asking of him. She wasn't running because she was scared nor was she walking away because she didn't love him or that she didn't believe he loved her. If anything she remained true to the Elizabeth he loved so much.

"I'm going to agree to the time but let me be clear in saying that you did not get me my default. Truth of the matter is you had me from the beginning and despite the circumstances you were then and now a great love of my life."

"Thank you." She replied with a small smile.

He wondered if there would ever be a time where the doubt from her eyes would fade, but he made a vow to himself and their future that he would do everything in his power to ensure that she would know without a shadow of doubt, that it was her. That it had always been her.

Jack and Elizabeth sat at her Mom's grave for a little while longer before she walked him to his car and bid him goodbye. He hugged her tightly against his chest afraid to let her go. She gave him a reassuring squeeze before stepping out of his embrace. He would head back to Sydney and she would stay a couple of more days with her Dad as planned. As much as it hurt to ask for time, she knew it was the right thing to do. She couldn't live the rest of their days wondering whether or not she got him by default as it was, she was already beginning to think it. She wasn't sure if time was the answer, but she knew being together wasn't it either.

Elizabeth enjoyed her time with her father. He rarely made it to Sydney these days and as much as she loved coming home, it was also bittersweet for her. Being in their home without her mother always tugged at her heart. William had found Elizabeth in her mother's sewing room/library a few times in the course of her visit. Every time sitting on the bay window wrapped up in her mother's crocheted blanket reading one of their favourite books. It was always a toss between Little Women and Sense and Sensibility, with the occasional Pride and Prejudice.

"Hey Lady Bug, it seems Lee has been corralled into another wedding prep evening. What do you say dinner out with your old man?" Elizabeth looked up from her book and grinned at her father.

"Ah yes!" she answered enthusiastically rising from where she sat. She placed the book back on the shelf and folded her mother's blanket and hugging it close to her chest before placing it back in the wooden chest wear it was kept. William watched the sadness that always swept across her face at the realisation that her mother was no longer there. How William wished Grace had been there these last few days for Elizabeth. She always knew the right words and knew when to just hold her. Elizabeth's strength always astounded him. Whilst she may have just said goodbye to the love of her life, her faith was unwavering. She knew enough to know that peace surpasses all understanding and she was at peace with her decision. Should she and Jack end up back together, it would be in God's timing and if not she trusted that God had something even better planned.

"So kid, how are you?" he asked as they sat in one of her Dad's favourite restaurants.

"I'm good Daddy. I mean it was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but it was the right one. Jack is a great man, and I love him dearly but there's a lot of things we both didn't consider when we jumped into 'being together'. The main one being he hasn't really grieved for his wife, and he should. She deserves to be mourned, and maybe after he's done that he can think about what we could be."

"Don't you think he already has."

"I think he thinks he has. He's been here for almost a year. His contract is only meant for a year with possibilities of making it permanent yet he won't give his boss a straight answer. Whether he realises it or not, he has to let go of one life to start a new one and he hasn't let go of the former."

"As your father I ask, do you put your life on hold until he figures it out." Elizabeth smiled,

"Fair question Father. I'd like to say no. At least I have no intention of doing so. For now I am just letting God do what he does."

"I'm proud of you Beth. Your Mom would be so proud of you too." He said his eyes watering with emotion.

"Thank you Daddy. That means a lot to me. I miss her too. I'm sorry I don't come home enough. I wish you would visit more often though."

"I understand why you don't, what makes you sad is what keeps me going. I love walking in that house and feeling her in every nook and cranny. We spent all our holidays in that house whilst you girls were growing up. Your mother made that house our forever home knowing that we would eventually move back into it once you girls were grown. It doesn't make me sad, it makes me happy that she poured so much love into that house that it lives on even when she hasn't. To me, in that house, she's still here." Elizabeth burst into tears as her father placed a comforting hand over hers,

"Oh Daddy, how is a girl supposed to find a husband when you keep raising the bar." She teased wiping her tears from her cheeks.

"Well let's be real, no one will ever be good enough for my little girl."

"So you've been telling me since I was old enough to listen. In case I don't say it enough, I am grateful for you instilling an expectancy of what we deserve, for the value you put in each and every one of us."

"Gosh Bug, you make me want to cry. Just so you know, all the riches in the world are nothing in comparison to having you girls and watching you grow into the women you have become. Even that Leland has a special place in my heart." He added. Lee had spent a lot of his time in the Thatcher home. His mother had been widowed at when he was still a toddler and William Thatcher was the father he never had.

"I am so incredibly proud of all of you."

"Well Lee will certainly bummed to have missed this little cry fest," Elizabeth said dryly.

The following day Lee drove Elizabeth's car back home to Sydney. Rosemary had passed out at the back within the first half hour leaving Elizabeth and Lee to their own devices very early on.

"Where to from here?" he asked.

"To be honest Lee, I don't know. I don't know what it's going to look like. I don't know what is going to be different. I just know I can't be with him. How that looks like, I'm not sure. I know that doesn't make sense, but I can't just cut him out of my life. If I thought I could do it without collateral damage I would do it, but there's no such thing so we shall see."

"So no making out for sure right?" Lee teased with a grin earning him a punch in the arm.

"You're hilarious."

"I know, I know. You forget I learned from the best."

"I know, he keeps telling me, out of all his kids you are the only one who has inherited his incredible wit." Lee smiled wistfully,

"I love that he refers to me as his own." Elizabeth placed a hand on her cousins arm,

"You may not be his by blood, but William Thatcher has never looked at you as anything less than the son he never had."

"I know Beth. I wouldn't be the man I am today without him."

"You should tell him that Lee, it would mean the world to him."

"I will,"

"Just not now, he already had me gushing at him last night." She added with an eye roll.

"For what?"

"For the value he instilled upon us, in who we were to who we are. For loving my mother with such grandeur to have anything less than his full devotion lacks in comparison."

"Bea, is that why you came home this weekend? You wanted a confirmation?"

"I knew the moment I saw Jack in the state he was in that morning that he hadn't mourned his wife. I caught a glimpse of how much he loved her. I don't doubt for a moment that Jack Thornton loves me, I know it in my heart, my mind may fight it but my heart knows it, but I knew as I walked out of that house that afternoon that we couldn't go on. I went home this weekend because I needed to remind myself that as much as I love Jack, I deserved nothing less than having someone who loved me wholeheartedly, freely, undoubtedly. Someone who could not only see a future with me but has plans for that future. We both know Jack isn't there, and that' not enough for me. Despite how much I may love him. I also missed my Mom so much. Dad's amazing, but I miss my Mom. That house, may make me sad, but Daddy's right she's in every nook and cranny. I just wanted a couple of days to pretend I was still a little girl safely tucked in her mother's arms. That house gives me that."


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for the delay in posting. Work has been crazy, and I had written the first 7 chapters in bulk and probably should have spaced them out more. I have this written out in my head, and some of you are quite astute with the direction I am taking with this. Thank you for reading. I truly appreciate the time you take in providing your feedback. I appreciate that you are so protective of the Elizabeth in my story. For those who are wondering where this is going, know that I aim to make Jack and Elizabeth end game. However, when I write sometimes it just takes it own direction. So thank you for your patience, for sticking around to see what happens next. I hope whichever path it leads to, you will enjoy the walk... have a great week, be blessed always!

As school started back again, so did their routines, minus the significant amount time that she and Jack spent together. Jack appreciated that she didn't just drop from their life altogether. She honoured the commitments she had made to Logan, and he was more than grateful. He knew it was far more than he could ask for or deserve.

Whilst Jack gave her the space she asked for, he was respectfully ever present. He had taken over from Tom in school drop offs and pick ups which guaranteed he saw her at least once a day. On the rare days he wasn't he would check in with her at the end of the day.

They missed each other terribly and it had to be a conscious decision on both parts to not just pick up the phone whenever there was something they wanted to share with the other.

With Christmas fast approaching so did the anniversary of his arrival. She knew his contract was due to either be renewed or extended. She purposely didn't ask him for what plans he had in place knowing if he were to stay or go, he had to make that decision on his own. If he left then that would mean they were truly done. If he left she wasn't going to follow him. If he decided to leave she wasn't going to try and convince him to stay. He had to fight for them.

Logan had noticed immediately that things were different between Jack and Elizabeth. He watched them closely, well aware of the lessened time that Elizabeth spent with them as a family.

"Aunt Bea," he said softly as he approached her in the booth she sat in at Abigail's as she marked assignments from her class. She had driven him to Abigail's Diner for his tutoring with Peter as a favour to Jack who got stuck at a meeting.

"Yeah Bud?" She asked glancing up from her marking.

"Are you and Daddy fighting? Are you mad at him?" The sad look on his face just about broke her. She and Jack hadn't talked about what to say to Logan. On Jack's part he had hoped for the best and for her part, she didn't feel it was her place to have that conversation with him.

"Come here Bud," she said as she scooted over to make room for him on her booth. Logan sat beside her with shoulders slumped as though bracing himself for bad news.

"We're not fighting buddy. I'm not mad at Daddy."

"Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?"

"Oh sweetheart no." she said emphatically as she gathered him into her arms and hugged him.

"Daddy and I are just working out a few things and we have to do them apart. That's why you don't see us together as much, but I promise you, it has nothing to do with you doing something wrong or me being mad at you."

"You promise?"

"With all my heart."

"Good, I love you Aunt Bea."

"I love you too Buddy. I always will." She added at the end as Jack appeared before them. He had heard their whole exchange and felt awful that she had to answer the question. He also caught the 'I always will' which he knew was a promise that meant no matter what even if Logan has missed it.

"Why don't you go back up your things, your Dad's here to come and pick you up." Logan nodded and leaned in to give her another hug before standing to his feet to hug his father. Jack sat on seat facing her,

"I'm sorry you had to do that. I just,"

"I get it Jack, I do."

"How's the school term fairing?" he asked,

"Well so far, the kids seem excited for their last term of the year which isn't always the case." She replied.

"I'm sure their teacher has a lot to do with their enthusiasm." Elizabeth chuckled,

"If only, I'm sure it's more the fact that we're that much closer to the end of the school year."

"I can't believe Christmas is only months away,"

"Yeah, a time has certainly flown by." Elizabeth replied looking past him and focusing her attention on Becky who was wiping down the counter.

"Elizabeth," he said placing a hand over hers as if to still her and her thoughts. He watched her close her eyes before meeting his gaze.

"Aunt Elizabeth," Cody shrieked as Peter chased him out of the kitchen. Elizabeth slipped her hands from under his and turned in time to receive Cody in her arms.

"Hey what did your Mom say about running in the restaurant?" she asked affectionately reminding him as she dropped a kiss on his head.

"To not do it? I'm sorry." he answered sheepishly, she smiled.

"It's okay, I know someone else who should also know better."

"Sorry Aunt Bea," Peter apologised,

"Yeah yeah. Go on, clean up for dinner. Your Mom wants family dinner upstairs tonight."

"Are you staying?" Cody asked,

"No Bud, I have something on."

"Elizabeth, what are you still doing here? It's after 6, if you're going to get to where you need to be

at 7:30 you better motor." Abigail said appearing from nowhere wiping her hands with a hand towel.

"Oh my gosh, I totally lost track of time. Thank you." Elizabeth stood quickly to her feet and gathered her belongings. She dropped a kiss on each child's cheek and Abigail's. She paused and gave Jack a nod before bolting out of the restaurant.  
"Where's the fire?" Jack asked. Abigail gave him a small smile not answering his question.

Elizabeth drove home to get ready. She was attending a fund raiser for Down Syndrome with Auggie that evening. Antoni was working so she was officially his plus one for the evening, and he was hers. As lovely as it was to have Auggie, Lee and Carson fill in for her when necessary, she missed having Jack as her plus one. Elizabeth just got out of the shower when she heard Rosie let herself in.

"Elizabeth, Abigail said you might need a hand with getting ready so I thought I would offer my services."

"Right now I don't know who I love more, Abigail for sending the SOS I didn't even think I needed or you for being here answering said SOS." Elizabeth replied as she came out in her robe.

"You have enough love for us both." Rosemary answered confidently.

"That I do. I'm just going to dry my hair. Can you help me pin it? I was thinking of putting it up somehow."

"Of course." Rosie followed Elizabeth into her bedroom and started rifling through Elizabeth's jewellery for what she could wear with her dress.

"So Abigail mentioned that the kids may have interrupted a moment between you and Jack." Elizabeth turned to look at her friend,

"That wasn't coincidental was it?"

"I believe she described your face to sport what was the term she used, 'a hail mary' if ever she saw one. She knows that you and Jack need to talk, but she also knows that her diner with an evening ahead of you isn't it."

"That's for sure. At this point I'm not really sure there is anything else to say. It's no one's fault. It is what it is."

"Elizabeth,"

"I know he loves me Rosie, I do. I know it in my heart. I know it in my soul. What my heart can't reconcile is that he loved someone else enough to marry her and he didn't feel I was worth that chance. Maybe that will change with time, but right now. Love doesn't give me amnesia and I don't want him to spend the rest of our lives trying to convince me that I am the one. That's not ideal, for either one of us. Maybe we both just have to accept the fact that time has passed us by, and maybe what we had was all we were meant to have. I mean have I really waited all this time for a man who chose someone else? A man who clearly is still in love with the love of his life?" Rosie knew that Elizabeth's points were valid, but she also knew that it hurt Elizabeth as much as it did because the love of her life, loved someone else.

"I can't tell you that I understand, because I don't. No one but you knows how you truly feel. The only thing I can tell you is keep praying about it. Keep laying it at God's feet because he will be the one to direct your steps. He is the only one who can h/eal your heart. You are daughter of the king most high, and his promises for you are far greater than anything you could have imagined for yourself. His love for you is extravagant. His love for you is eternal. His love for you is immeasurable, unquestionable. It's his love, that will heal and bring you peace. Don't discount the power of his love. Don't throw the towel in, allow God to work in your situation in both your hearts. Be open to what he is preparing for you. Whether it be Jack or not, do not allow this shrink your heart." Tearfully Elizabeth hugged her friend,

"Thank you, I promise I won't."

By just after 7, Auggie arrived to pick her up. He beamed at the sight of his best friend. So full of grace and beauty and enchantment. How he prayed that she would see herself through the eyes of those who loved her. To not allow her current circumstance diminish her.

"You're beautiful Bea."

"Thanks Aug. You look pretty handsome yourself. Tonight's going to be amazing." She said enthusiastically as she took his arm. Auggie patted the hand that rested on his arm. Rosie sent them along their way and assured Elizabeth that she will close up behind her.

The cause for the fundraiser was so close and dear to both her and Auggie that they were a blubbering mess during the presentations. Elizabeth was able to network throughout the evening which opened a couple of opportunities for her that she never thought would be available to her.

"So what did you think about the offer?" Auggie asked,

"I really want to go. I think I'd be crazy not to take it. I just want to make sure I am basing all of my decisions on the right thing."

"It's a great opportunity Elizabeth. It's something you've always wanted to do but didn't know how it could come to fruition."

"Believe me, I know. I just don't want to make that decision because it's convenient and I have my running shoes on."

"Fair play, when do you have to let them know?"

"Soon."

Elizabeth and Auggie went straight to Rosie's after the fundraiser knowing Lee would still be there, picking up Pizza along the way. As they drove down her street they found Jack's car parked in front of her apartment building. Elizabeth looked down at her phone for the first time all evening and saw that he had left her a few messages.

"You may as well drop me off at mine. I will join you guys as soon as I'm done. I may as well get changed."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we have to talk properly at some point. We can't keep co-existing. I think it's time."

"Okay, I'll see you shortly." Elizabeth placed a hand on Auggie's arm and thanked him before she opened the car door. Jack walked up and held a hand out to her helping her out of Auggie's car. The boys greeted each other briefly. As Jack closed the door of Auggie's car, Auggie headed over to Rosie's. Jack turned back to Elizabeth,

"You look incredible." He said softly as he took her in dressed in a long gown, hair swept up and make up in tact from their evening.

"Thank you. Come on upstairs. That way I can get changed." Jack nodded and followed her to her apartment building.

She told him to make himself at home while she got out of her gown. Thankfully her gown did not require assistance in getting out of. A few minutes later she emerged in a pair of distressed boyfriend jeans and one of her favourite t-shirts. She had released her hair from the bobby pins that had kept her hair in place therefore her wavy hair sat softly against her shoulders. He noticed that she had washed her face as she always did the moment she walked into her home after an event and make up. This was his favourite version of her.

"Elizabeth,"

"Jack," they said in unison. Elizabeth smiled at him and placed a hand over his,

"You know I love you Jack, and I know that you love me but if I'm going to be truthful I have to tell you that knowing that isn't enough for me and I don't know if it ever will be. Truth of the matter is you had whole life without me, and that's okay. It would be one thing if you were ready, but you and I both know you're not there yet. A few weeks ago I asked you for time, and thank you for respecting that even though I know you didn't want to. I had hoped in these last few weeks that there would be a defining clarity, but it never came. As Christmas approaches, so does the expiration of your work contract and you haven't thought that far ahead. You, Mr Planner. Which tells me that you're not ready to let go of your life back in Hope Valley, and that's okay, but Jack I'm not going to wait for you." As she said the words he felt as though he had the wind knocked out of him.

"I can't slow my life down anymore than you can speed yours up. If our six months together couldn't bridge that gap, I'm not sure what can or even if it can be. I don't want you to spend the rest of our lives together wondering if you're doing enough to make sure I know that you love me. It's not about convincing me that you love me, because I honestly know that you do. It's me Jack. I'm the one who can't reconcile that you loved, still love someone else. What I realised is that as selfish as it sounds. I want someone who wanted me enough. Who loved me enough. Maybe if we found each other now and not almost a year ago. Maybe if you had the chance to grieve. Maybe if I didn't have to witness just how much you loved and still love your wife. Maybe, I don't know. Most of all I don't want us to be in this if in the back of my mind I am always wondering. I don't want our lives to be about over compensating for what we fell short of all those years ago. You deserve better than that. I deserve better than that. So this is me telling you I'm sorry, but I don't want this anymore. That I will always love you. I'm just not the girl for you. I never was."

"Elizabeth no." he said with tears streaming down his eyes. There were so many things wrong with what she said. How he had undone in moments what they had built in their months together.

"I know you deserve so much better than what I could offer you. After everything I have put you through. Truth is, I've always felt you deserve better than me."

"Jack, don't misinterpret what I meant." She protested.

"I knew about you way before I met you. Lee and I had been buddies for awhile before you came to Hope Valley. He had told me about his best friend, who also happened to be his baby cousin. You know Lee, not one to over exaggerate when talking about those he loves," Elizabeth smiled and rolled her eyes knowing Lee was probably talking her up as he always did.

"He told me about this kid he grew up with, his cousin who he spent most of his summers with who had this amazing ability to see the very best in every person she met, who had a way of making every person she met feel incredibly important. How she had a way with kids, with people in general. I thought Lee was just being Lee. I never really thought about it. Then I went away for a year, which happened to be the year you came so we never got to meet each other. Until I got back, by then you had all created this family that I never knew could exist. I met you and I knew instantly that Lee had not at all exaggerated. I remember that day so clearly, it was a game changer kind of a day. Lee and I were picking you up from Kids Church after the first service so we could all go to the next service together. The moment I saw you, I was drawn to you. You're beautiful, but it was more than that. There was something about you that took my breath away. We were standing by the door and you hadn't seen us yet so you were running 'What's the time Mr Wolf' and there seemed to be a hundred kids completely engaged in this game. It was chaos. Then a little girl with mousy brown hair and glasses walked up to you and pulled at your shirt. You glanced down and smiled at her picking her up in your arms carrying her on your hip as she laid her head on your shoulder."  
"Gracie," she remembered fondly.

"She was four and much too young to be in that room, but Lee told me you let her be in that room because her parents don't usually sit in the service together as Grace needed one of them to be with her at all times, until you came along."

Grace had a form of Autism, and she didn't respond well to crowds, noises or people she wasn't familiar with. When she met Elizabeth their connection was instantaneous. As Elizabeth got to know the family she realised that Gracie's parents never got to sit in a service together and offered to take Grace whatever service they attended to give them the opportunity to do so. If she was serving she would take her to whatever room she was serving at. If she wasn't serving, she would take Grace out for a walk to the park. Elizabeth loved all kids, but she had a soft spot for Grace.

"I knew then that Lee had been telling the truth. There's a manner, a spirit of such kindness that it was easy to be drawn to you. In that moment I caught a glimpse of who you truly were. I fell in love with you in an instant." The surprised look on her face told him that he caught her off guard.

"Lee introduced us and I knew you felt the connection between us. For the months that followed I found myself everywhere I knew you were going to be. At the same time I knew that you had every intention of going home. I also knew what was waiting for you at home. What could I possibly offer you? Did I really want to get in the way of what you had dreamed of doing? Then we found out your Mom got sick but she made you stick it out in London until you were done. Was I really going to profess my love for you at that point? Elizabeth, I was a coward. I own that, but towards the end, I just didn't want you to add to your plate."

"So you thought being my bestie for the next couple of months, putting me on a plane never to speak to me again was the best way to go about it?" she asked suddenly angry.

"You didn't think I may have needed you from the other side of the world. Was it just too hard to keep in touch? Was it uncomfortable?" she ranted as she paced, then it dawned on her. She stopped and turned to look at him,

"So when I needed you the most you met the love of your life and what we had just didn't matter?"

"Elizabeth No!" he said rising from where he sat. This was not where he saw this conversation going but he also knew it was long over due.

"I didn't meet Emily until months later. I didn't keep in touch because frankly, yes it was too hard."

"Then this should be easier for you then, you've had practice." She replied softly.

"Fighting off what I felt for you was the hard, putting you on that plane was knowing I couldn't just resume being your bestie across the miles was inconceivable. The thought of letting you walk away from this, from us and what we could be makes it hard to breathe. You see the six months we had as failing to close the gap between what you're ready for and what you think I'm not ready for. For me, those six months healed what was broken inside me. Being with you restored me. Being with you brought me back to life. Being with you gave me a glimpse of the life we could have had. I loved Emily, and I always will. She gave me Logan. He leaves no room for regret. But being with you was like a breath of fresh air, a new lease in life, more than that being with you, felt like I was the best version of myself every single day. You are the first thing that I think of when I wake up in the morning and when I go to sleep at night it's your face that allows me rest. Does that count for nothing?" he asked unsure of what else he could say.

"Does everything come back to me putting you on a plane home without telling you in what way I truly loved you?"

"Jack, you disappeared from my life. The moment I stepped on that plane it was like I never existed. Had I not run into you that time I was visiting Hope Valley would we really have seen each other again? You broke my heart when you put me on that plane without telling me how you supposedly felt. You broke my heart when you chose to walk away without telling me you had moved on. I deserved at least that. You broke my heart when you looked at me as though I had violated that sanctity of what you shared with you wife. You may love me Jack, and I know you enough to know that you do. I may even believe everything you've said tonight, but truth of the matter is Jack you've broken my heart one time too many and I am not sure my heart can recover again. I would rather walk away from you now having known I had given it my all, and I did in our six months, but that day at your house, that look on your face. I can't erase it in my from my head. Truth is Jack, I no longer trust you with my heart." She said in quiet admission. Jack felt like she ripped out his heart.

"I'm sorry that's how you feel." he said brokenly. Elizabeth knew she had hurt him, but she also needed to be truthful with him. There was just so much time that was unaccounted for. Time he just disappeared from her life. She would be lying if she said that she wasn't scared that he would just walk away again. Jack sat down on the dining chair in quiet exhaustion. She walked over to him as he stared at the floor as though he was trying to burn holes through it.

"Hey," she said trying to break him out of his trance as she ran her hand through his hair. As his eyes met hers, the deep sorrow in his eyes matched the sorrow in her heart. Wordlessly, he pulled her to his lap and hugged her tightly. Elizabeth found herself wrapping her arms around his neck as he buried his face against her shoulder.

If it was just about love it would be easy, but it wasn't. They stayed that way for hours. Not saying anything, just holding each other, as though storing strength for what they knew was inevitable. They fell asleep intertwined until morning had come. He awoke with her in his arms and he didn't make a move, nor dared to breathe for when she awoke he knew it would all be over.


	10. Chapter 10

Technically I should be packing, but here I am posting another chapter. The chances of me finishing the next chapter during the weekend is slim so I thought I would give you an early weekend present. Whilst it was Thursday today, it is technically my Friday. Long weekend here I come! Enjoy this chapter. In the words of Elizabeth Thatcher, 'because life is messy' =)

The morning they woke up from their conversation everything was a blur. There wasn't really much else to say. Jack couldn't undo the heartbreak he had inflicted nor could she undo the heartbreak she inflicted on him by telling him she didn't trust him with her heart. She didn't say it to be hurtful, she said it because it was what truly explained why they couldn't just keep going. She knew that she had to deal with that herself separate to him. She knew it would be unfair to continue if that was what harbouring in her heart. Just as he had to work out his grief, she too had to work out her own. Whether she knew it or not her heart had counted him as a loss and it wasn't until he reappeared in her life did she realise just what she lost. Seeing him grieve the loss of his life magnified that for her and there was no turning back.

"Have you told Jack?" Abigail asked gently as she passed a plate of cookies over to her as she sat on a counter stool at the diner. Elizabeth shook her head,

"Not yet. I know I have to and I will. I just haven't had a chance. It's all been a bit of a whirlwind."

To their credit there were no casualties as a result of their separation. They cared about each other and they both took responsibility of their part in what went wrong. They remained respectful of each other and made sure it wasn't awkward for anyone else which was a credit to them both. Their friendship had carried them through it. Whilst they were never alone together they attended every gathering. They spoke to each other normally. At first physical affection was what they struggled with. Their history showed no restraint. An arm around shoulders, a hand on arm, a brush of fingers through hair, long hugs and when they finally got together intertwined hands, arms along waists, hands on knees. It came so naturally to them that sometimes they wouldn't realise until it was too late. They would exchange a rueful smile and both walk or sit the opposite direction. To say they were amicable would be an understatement. It was a testament to who they were as a person and how much they truly loved each other.

"I'll tell him tonight. What time is everyone getting here?"

"I think nows your chance," Abigail answered as Jack came in with Logan.

"Aunt Bea!" He shrieked with excitement. He too had gotten used to their new norm. He missed what used to be between Elizabeth and Jack but she remained ever present in his life. Jack made sure she knew that door was always open to her and she appreciated that. Elizabeth opened her arms to welcome the ever growing beautiful boy before.

"What did I tell you about growing? You're getting too big too soon Buddy. Can you stay my little monkey for a little longer?" Logan smiled,

"I'll always be your little monkey Aunt Bea," he promised.

"Good to hear. Why don't you give Aunt Abigail some love. Rumour has it she has a fresh batch of cookies ready to come out of the oven that she may just share with you." Logan's face lit up as she released him to greet Abigail a hug. Abigail took that as her queue and led Logan to the kitchen. Elizabeth stood to her feet to grab a cup for Jack,

"Grab a seat, I'll make your coffee." Jack obliged looking at her curiously. She chuckled,

"Could you for once try not to figure me out and actually let me just talk to you." Elizabeth teased making him laugh.

"I'm sorry, force of habit. It just happens naturally."

"I know. Always been that way." She passed him his coffee, she made it just how he liked it. She gave his hand a quick squeeze before standing in front of him, the counter separating them.

"At a few weeks ago, at the Down Syndrome Gala I met the director of Early Childhood from Macquarie University. He is running a training program for teachers, occupational therapists, speech pathologist, and a bunch of other professions who are interested in early intervention for kids with special needs. It's like a training meets collaboration meets execution. What will eventually come out of the training is what they will be launching next year as programs for kids in attempt to detect earlier and intervene and put into practice what we think would help a child." Jack could see the excitement exude from her. He knew special needs was where her heart lay and always had.

"That sounds right up your alley," he stated as she nodded.

"Apparently the thesis I wrote a few years back along with the work I've done with Auggie during school year and breaks have circulated and they've chosen to offer me a place."

"Elizabeth, that's amazing" he said standing to his feet reaching over the counter to hug her.

"I am so incredibly proud of you. When is it?"

"During the summer, in London." She answered softly against his chest. She felt him stiffen momentarily before recovering.

"Wow, that's great. The whole summer?" He asked releasing her as she nodded in reply.

"Yeah I leave the weekend school finishes."

"You'll miss Christmas and New Year?"

"Yeah, they want us there to make the most out of the facilities. We're going to be staying in the hall of residence at Kings College while the normal students are on break. We're going to do most of our work while we're there. When the students return to campus they're putting us up in apartments with other students who like off campus to I guess feel the whole experience. We'll be traveling around other universities in the United Kingdom."

"That sounds incredible. You've been dreaming of this kind of opportunity for as long as I've known you. I am so glad you finally get the chance to show people how marvellously gifted you are."

"Biased much? I'm really looking forward to it."

"No bias here at all."

"Sure, no bias at all."

"Have you decided what you're going to do?" She asked. As his girlfriend she could never really ask him knowing she would be a factor in his decision and ideally it would be a discussion between them but they never quite got there.

"I'm going to bring Logan home to Hope Valley." Elizabeth felt her heart drop.

"For the holidays," he clarified sensing the change in her demeanour,

"Hope Valley will always be home in many ways. My Mom and Bill are there. Emily's parents. Logan's early years were spent there but Sydney is home. It was the moment," he stopped himself from saying 'the moment I saw you' but she caught it in his eyes.

"I want to take him to Hope Valley, to see his grandparents, to see his cousins from Emily's side, and to pack up our house. When Em died, we went on as though it was business as usual. Both Logan and I, I guess mostly me just put one foot in front of the other. The job opportunity here was sudden and I barely had time to pack us up. My Mom and Bill took care of everything and closed the house down for us. I'm going to need to pack up the house properly. Maybe put it on the market."

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yeah, it's time. You know, it wasn't that I didn't think of our future or that I wasn't planning for it because I didn't want to let go of my past. I just knew that I couldn't do that until I had said goodbye to Emily properly, that I owed her that." He said looking at her right in the eye.

"I was always going to say goodbye."

"Jack it never occurred to me that you hadn't said goodbye until her death anniversary. Until that point I was oblivious as to why you hadn't mentioned our future. I was so caught up in the now, in the us now that I almost forgot you were married. The selfish part of me almost blocked out that part you were married. Maybe that's why it hurt as much as it did when it came to surface. Where we are now isn't just because of you. It's because of me too. Truth is I told you I loved you and you didn't say anything so I took that as a you didn't feel the same way. You put me on a plane and I never heard from you again, which only reiterated what I had thought to be true. That you just didn't love me. So imagine what had built up by the time you landed in Sydney only to tell me you had married someone else. Then that day at your house on her death anniversary." Elizabeth took a deep breath.

"You never got to grieve her until that day. The irony of it was I realised I never grieved for the enormity of the loss I felt when I lost you. How a part of me never recovered that you had just chosen not to choose us essentially. Not knowing you had planned for us made me wonder if maybe I was just there to get you through your grief until that great big love of your life walked in again. Or that maybe you've already had the big love of your life and I was as good as it was going to get. The next best thing. That if you couldn't have your wife that trustee old Elizabeth is close enough." Jack stared at her stoically for a moment trying to process what she had just said.

Wordlessly he grabbed her hand and led her out the side door for a little privacy. Elizabeth watched as he paced like a cage animal, she knew he was angry, but at which part she couldn't quite pin point. She sighed and looked heavenward. This was not how she had anticipated for their talk to end. Maybe this is why they've chosen to talk only on the surface the last few weeks. It was safer. Jack stopped pacing and stood in front of her.

"You listen to me Elizabeth Grace Thatcher, you have never been a stand in, nor have you ever been just close enough. I loved you long before you told me you loved me."

"Then why?" She challenged him defiantly disbelief written all over her face.

"Tell her. Just tell her." A voice said interrupting their stand off. Jack glanced over at Tom where he stood by the door. Tom had heard what Elizabeth had said to Jack, they hadn't noticed him come in. He watched as Jack pulled her outside. He had hoped Jack would take the opportunity to tell her.

"Tell me what?" Elizabeth asked, her defiance turned to confusion.

"If you won't tell her I will. It's not fair to her and you're being an idiot. You've been an idiot. For so many years." Tom yelled,

"Stay out of this Tom," Jack yelled back

"One of you tell me so help me God." Elizabeth said frustrated. When Jack remained silent Tom was about to open his mouth but Elizabeth stopped him.

"No Tom, if he doesn't want to tell me it's okay. It shouldn't come from you. I appreciate what you're trying to do and I love you all the more for it, but it's not your place. If there's nothing else to say, we're done here." Elizabeth said defeatedly.

She took a step back from Jack and in an instant he saw her walls rise before him as she closed the window that he was always privy to. He reached for her as she turned to walk away and she looked down at his hand on her arm and back at him as though she were looking at a stranger. She gently picked up his hand from her arm and released it. She walked back towards the door wanting to be anywhere but where he was. She walked in, grabbed her bag from behind the counter and headed out the front door without a word to anyone. She vaguely heard Abigail's voice calling out to her and whilst she knew she should at least say goodbye she didn't have it in her. Elizabeth got in her car and drove off.


	11. Chapter 11

Here you go...before you nail me for technicalities please remember this is fanfiction and I am taking liberties with information so certain things may not be completely accurate, but go with it. Call it artistic licence...

It wasn't hard to find her. She knew he eventually would. Had she not been so exhausted by them she would have put more thought into hiding from him. He watched her from his car as she sat at the end of the pier. It was dark and he could barely make out her form but he knew she was there before his eyes confirmed it. It was her thinking place. Nothing but her, the moonlight and the sound of waves as a soundtrack to whatever conversation she was having with God. Jack sat in his car a little bit longer, taking a moment to pray. For what was about to unfold. For the words he was about to say. For what she has to hear. Wordlessly he sat beside her on the pier. It was a rather cold evening, spring was ending and summer wasn't quite there yet. He took his jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulder knowing by the goose bumps on her arms that she was cold and much too stubborn to go back to her car for warmth. He was almost expecting her to hand him back his jacket and was relieved when she didn't fight him on it.

"Thank you," a voice he barely recognised expressed her gratitude. She refused to look at him and everything in hear demeanour told him that she was done.

"The year you arrived at Hope Valley, my family and I were away. We moved to Colorado for the year, for me, because I was sick." Elizabeth glanced up at him in surprise.

"Acute Myeloid Leukemia," he said with a long breath as she took his hand in hers, as if encouraging him to go on, tears already forming in her eyes.

"After I had finished basic training for the academy I was tired all the time. I lost a chunk of weight in a short span of time. I would get these bruises for no reason whatsoever. Then one day I ended up in hospital from a seizure, they ran a bunch of test and then I had AML. They deemed it quite progressed, and radiation wasn't quite cutting it so my oncologist had suggested a stem cell transplant. Which wasn't common back then. There happened to be a trial in Colorado and my oncologist had thrown my name in as a contender, hence we moved there. When you and I first met, I was a couple of months in the clear. Because the procedure was still quite new, no one knew what the long term side effects would be or the long term prognosis. I mean after transplant and more treatments is it gone once and for all? There was so much uncertainty. When I was given the all clear, we came back to Hope Valley. We tried to resume life as normal as possible. I went back to the force and would be assigned to a desk until I was given the full clearance by both my oncologist and family doctor."

Whilst Elizabeth's gaze remained on the water as he spoke she was rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb in a circular calming motion, habitually and without thought. Whether she knew it or not, her very presence elicited peace in him. Always had. It was one of the reasons why he was do drawn to her.

"You walked into my life, or more I walked into yours and all these feelings just surfaced. I fell in love in love with you in an instant. I'm not sure if it was watching you with Gracie or that my soul was just so undeniably drawn to you. Elizabeth, in that very moment I have never been so scared in my life. I knew I had no control over what I felt. There was something about you that made me want to be with you all the time but at the same time not knowing about what was going to happen with me, I didn't want to start anything. I didn't want to drag you into anything that could mean I wouldn't be around. So I friend zoned you. Which was unfair but at the same time I just needed to be with you even if it meant we were just friends."

"Jack that wasn't your decision to make," Elizabeth protested softly.

"Maybe not, but I made it and I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you before you left. I wanted to get on a plane and follow you to Sydney."

"So why didn't you?" she challenged,

"Because right before you were due to leave, at my check up they found something."

"Jack,"

"Elizabeth, you were going home to your Mom who was sick. I wasn't going to throw me in the mix to make that harder." He replied evenly.

"So I put you on your plane, hugged you goodbye and hoped that I would get a chance to beg for your forgiveness and explain it all to you and that you would take me back. Those first months after you left were the worst in my life. I let you leave thinking we weren't enough to fight for. I went back to Colorado for treatments. I had to have surgery. I had an aggressive round of Chemotherapy and they gave stem cell another go."

"You should have told me," she said wiping the tears away with her free hand. Her heart breaking for not being there for him.

"Elizabeth, when your Mom died I was in surgery." Elizabeth stilled. Even after they got together, they never discussed why she didn't hear from him when her Mom died. How much that had hurt. She just assumed that he had moved on and was married by then.

"I didn't come to for many days after and they didn't tell me until they felt I was strong enough. Elizabeth, I would have flown to Sydney sick or not. You have to know that." Elizabeth looked at him and met his gaze and knew his sincerity before she looked into his eyes. She placed a hand on his cheek,

"I do know," Her eyes told him to go on knowing he wasn't finished. As she was about to remove her hand from his cheek he took it with his and placed it on their already joined hands

"Emily was my nurse. She literally nursed me back to health. I had slipped into a funk and she was patient. She challenged me, she dared me to be brave, to fight. As time passed we became friends. She was the hand that held mine as I went through my treatments. She read to me, did stupid silly things to make it bearable." Jack paused knowing what he was about to say was bound to hurt her,

"She loved me when I thought I was unlovable." Elizabeth felt the punch to her heart she knew he hadn't intended. She failed him too. She tried to remove her hand from his feeling restricted all of a sudden but he wouldn't let her go. Elizabeth looked back out at the water refusing to look at him,

"Elizabeth," he pleaded.

"Please look at me." Elizabeth didn't know if she could hear any more.

"I grew to love Emily. She was unexpected and I am so grateful to her. Without her I don't know if I could have made it. Emily knew about you." Elizabeth finally glanced at him and what he saw broke his heart as the pain of the words he was recounting to her was all over her face,

"When I first came out of surgery your name was the first thing I murmured. During Chemo when it got hard, and it did often. I would say your name like a silent prayer. When I finally came to she told me that I was lucky that I got to love someone as much as I seemed to love you. As we became friends, I told her about you. The more time we spent together, I felt I was given a chance to get to cease the moment and get the girl. I loved her, I knew that and I wasn't going to let her slip away from me. So I asked her to marry me, move to Hope Valley and without hesitation she did. She made me happy. I loved her. I thought I had moved on. That clearly we weren't meant to be together,"

"Clearly," she echoed hurt. Jack prayed that she wouldn't bolt at that very moment,

"Until one day I was walking on main street and there you were. In that one moment, it was like I was transported to the first time we met. All the feelings I had thought had gone away, hit in me in an instant. I wanted to run in the other direction scared of all the feelings I felt but at the same time my feet wouldn't move. I wanted to see you. I wanted to hug you. I wanted to tell you that I loved you, that I never stopped but I knew I couldn't. I had already given my heart to Emily and I honestly loved her. It wasn't until I saw you that I realised it was a different love I felt for her. You saw me and I thought you would be angry that I had just disappeared from your life, but instead you smiled at me in that Elizabeth Thatcher way. In a way that I know you didn't smile at anyone else but me. You walked up to me and hugged me as though no time had passed. I remember closing my eyes and committing the moment in my heart and memory because I knew I couldn't see you again after that. I couldn't afford to. Emily deserved better than that and I already felt like I was cheating on her at the realisation that I still loved you." He confessed ashamed.

"Coming back to Hope Valley, there was always a risk of seeing you. Even though Carson had told me that you left not long after I did. I wasn't really expecting to. I guess there was a part of me that hoped. I guess I wanted a closure almost, so by going there I was almost gunning for fate to step in. And she did, just not the way I had hoped. I thought when I saw you on main street that it meant we had a chance. I was so excited that I forgot to be angry. I was just so happy to see you. It felt like my life had been turned upside down since I had left. I was still grieving my Mom and I couldn't settle down. It felt like I had left a part of me in Hope Valley and I wanted to see once and for all if that were the case. So when Abigail and Noah had decided to pack up and head to Sydney I offered to help them with the kids. Especially Cody who was still quite small then. When I didn't see you or hear from you whilst I was in Hope Valley after I saw you, I had to make peace with the fact that maybe I had imagined it all. That I had romanticized what we had because clearly you didn't feel the same way. For the second time, I left Hope Valley with a broken heart. Whether I meant to or not, I had set my expectations to seeing you, that all it would take was for us to see each other and everything would fall into place. I was such a fool. So I left you in Hope Valley where you belonged as I vowed to move on with my life without you. Crediting you up to my over active imagination. I came back here. Dated here and there, forgot you even. Then you walked back into my life and again it's like no time has passed and we're back to push and pull, start and stop."

"We weren't your imagination," he promised.

"I have a future planned for us. I do. You are the love of my life, you have been from the moment I met you. You were never a fall back. You are the person that God had destined my forever with. I am asking you to not give up on us. To not give up on me. To know my hearts intention."

"Jack,"

"Please," he asked as he took her face with his hand and held her gaze. He could see the turmoil and inward battle she wrestled.

"I love you," he vowed. Elizabeth closed her eyes as if to take a moment,

"And I love you,"

"Then be with me."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Life is too short Sweetheart. I love you, you love me. We can make this work if we want to. We have a lot to work through, I am not discounting that but if we love each other surely it's worth the fight to make it work." She hated that he made it sound so reasonable.

"Please,"

"Jack,"

"No more running,"

"You forget I'm gone all summer and you're going back to Hope Valley." She pointed out that they were going to be separated anyway.

"I don't care. When you leave for London you're going to leave knowing that when you get back we will be back here waiting for you."

"Jack,"

"Be With Me." He drew out interrupting her as she chuckled as she rolled her eyes. Without warning he kissed her. He poured every emotion he felt in that kiss and as he reluctantly pulled back to look at her he had left her breathless.

"You don't fight fair," she smirked tilting her head to the side.

"Is that a yes?" he asked hopeful.

"Yes," she replied as he took her into his arms hugging her tightly.

Truth was she loved him. She loved him with all her heart. As hurt as she was that he had lived a life without her, she believed it wasn't because he didn't love her. She wished she had been the one to hold his hand, but she knew that she knew that she would not have been in any shape to be what he needed her to be during that time. She was grateful that Emily had been there. Life was short, and being presented with the idea of losing him, especially to sickness made her take stock of what she was willing to live with and without. She knew in her heart that she couldn't live without him. Her soul was tied to his whether she wanted it to be or not. The heart wants what it wants and it had always been him it wanted.

Elizabeth breathed him in as she tightened the arms around his waist, her face buried into his chest.

"Are you okay?" she asked. He knew what she was asking. He kissed her forehead.

"Yeah sweetheart, I'm okay. No symptoms. Last check was all clear."

"Why didn't you want to tell me?" she asked.

"I didn't want to use my sickness as currency."

"Nobel, but stupid." She replied.

"I wanted to know you loved me for me. For us to start a new. I didn't want to cloud our getting back together with the possibility that you feared my mortality."

"What makes you think that's not why I'm saying yes right now?" she teased,

"Because your eyes tell me." He answered confidently.


	12. Chapter 12

So here's the thing... not everyone is going to like my story, where it went, how it got there, etc etc. I'm okay with that because as selfish as it sounds. I write for me. I love to write. Some days it comes easily, some days not so much. Writing for me has been a journey. It's cathartic. Me pleasing everyone is never going to happen, and to my defence I was very clear that Jack and Elizabeth were end game. My writing, is mostly done on the move, on a train, in a car (when I'm not the one driving) while I'm walking to and from destinations. Rarely do I actually get to edit. So apologies for the typos and grammar and blah blah. However, I make no apologies for where the story is headed or has led to, because frankly it's my story. So yes, if you so wish...stop reading. The last thing I want to do is aggravate you. The other is I don't tolerate the swearing so I will be deleting reviews with profanity because there truly is no need. I have now stepped off my soapbox.

To those who are still reading and are enjoying the somewhat 'messy' journey Elizabeth and Jack are on, please enjoy the next chapter.

Song Credit: 'Audience of One' - Tasha Masitha

"Logan?" Elizabeth said sitting up. Immediately Jack felt the absence of her in his arms.

"Tom's going to take him home." He answered drawing her back in an embrace not quite ready to let her go after months of not being able to hold her.

"It's getting late, we should probably get going." She said gently knowing he didn't want to leave.

"Can we just stay like this for a little longer," Jack asked, his voice hoarse from emotion. She glanced up at him and saw the toll of their roller coaster had taken on him.

"Sure Babe," She replied giving his cheek a kiss as she ran her hands through his hair giving him a moment she knew he needed.

Eventually he reluctantly walked her back to her car. It was well past midnight and Elizabeth had a bunch of errands she needed to run early the next day.

"Spend the day with me tomorrow?" He asked,

"I am driving home tomorrow. I need to sort out my Visa and it's easier to do a day trip to Canberra than having to navigate that through endless visit to Australia Post and I don't feel at all confident that my passport won't be lost in transit. I was going to see my Dad. You're more than welcome to join me." She added noting the look of disappointment on his face.

"Are you sure?" Elizabeth smiled,

"Of course. Dad would be happy to see you too."

"I'm not so sure about that," he replied.

"Believe it or not he's been your biggest advocate,"

"That I didn't expect,"

"He's no Leland Coulter," she answered ruefully.

"That's a relief, though I can't blame Lee."

Whilst most managed be impartial, Lee was not one of them. Jack was well aware of Lee's anger. For the most part he knew it was because out of anyone in the her world it was Lee who was privy to the most vulnerable Elizabeth. It was Lee whom she had no filter.

"He'll come around. He's just a little over protective of me."

"I get that. I don't begrudge him of it. If I were him I would have punched me by now."

"I would never condone that behaviour in any circumstance,"

"Lucky me,"

Jack insisted on following her home to ensure she arrived safely. It also gave him the opportunity to walk her to her door. He hadn't been there since the morning of their break up.

"Thanks for walking me to my door," Elizabeth said as she looked up at him leaning against her door.

"You're welcome. What time did you want to head out tomorrow?"

"7? Pick you up at yours?"

"I'll drive,"

"Of course you will," She replied with an eye roll.

"I'll see you in the morning Sweetheart,"

"I'll see you then," Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his neck as he hugged her tightly against him.

"I'm not dreaming this am I?" He murmured against her shoulder. Elizabeth cupped the back of his head,

"No. I'm here Jack. We're here." She assured him. With one last hug she sent him home.

As she walked in she jumped a mile at the sight of Lee asleep on her couch. She grabbed a pillow and playfully whacked him with it. Eliciting an Ouch from her beloved cousin who she knew was there to check on her as a result of quick exit and absence from dinner.

"What time do you call this?" He asked wagging his finger at her. Elizabeth chuckled throwing the pillow right in his face for good measure.

"You okay?" Asked a muffled Lee from behind the pillow. Elizabeth sighed and took the pillow back.

"Yeah, it's been an exhausting couple of months. Give me a half hour to shower and pj? You staying?"

"Sure and yes. Oh and you may want to drop Abigail a message to say you're home and okay. I will message Rosie. Although I wouldn't be surprised if she had her face to her window looking out for your return." Elizabeth smiled at the image that was not at all hard to conjure up.

After dropping Abigail a message Elizabeth went to shower in her ensuite whilst Lee had done the same in the main bathroom. He had his own portion of the closet in her guest bedroom for moments such as these. By the time she had joined him he had brewed her favourite tea and laid out their favourite cookies.

"You went big!" She teased as he grinned with a shrug.

"It's after 1am, why not. Calories don't count after midnight." Elizabeth laughed,

"I'm not sure that's quite how they work but I'll buy it."

Elizabeth sat on the other end of the couch taking with her the tea he handed her as he sat on the other end with his. She began to tell him all that unfolded that evening. He let out many Wows and Ohhs as she did so.

"So where does that leave you two?"

"I love him. Life's too short to be apart if we truly love each other. There's a peace about it. I'd like to think we have a future as he promises we do but I'm okay to leave that to God. For now I'm happy to take it one day at a time. We still have a few things to work through and we can only work on them and see where that takes us. Am I being naive?" She asked him. Lee shook his head,

"No Beth, you love him and you're willing to take a risk. That's not naive, that's brave. God's got you and he will direct your path. Jack loves you, that I am sure of. The rest will fall into place."

"Does that mean you're going to go easy on him?"

"Hmm, I make no promises. I may make him sweat a little."

"I expect nothing less."

"Are you worried?" He asked. Elizabeth knew immediately what he meant by that.

"A little but not really which is strange considering this is me we're talking about."

"Love is strange,"

"That it is."

Elizabeth and Lee talked for a little while longer before finally turning in. Elizabeth knew that the chances of her sleeping on the drive to Canberra was going to be a high one at that point.

Jack dropped by Abigail's to pick up coffee for both he and Elizabeth before heading to Elizabeth's. Abigail who had received Elizabeth's message the night before got the gist that they had worked through their issues. Therefore she wasn't surprised that he would be driving her to Canberra instead of going solo that day.

"Morning Jack, you're here early."

"Morning Abigail," he greeted dropping a kiss to her cheek.

"I was hoping to grab a large cappuccino and an extra hot large skim mocha to go please."

"I recognise that order a mile away. You driving to Canberra?" Jack smiled and nodded.

"Yes, I am. No more secrets Abigail. I've told her everything."

"Good to hear."

"She is everything to me."

"I know Jack," Abigail replied placing a hand on his arm.

Elizabeth opened her door to find Jack on the other side holding her Abigail's Diner glass Keep Cup with her coffee just as she liked it.

"Thank you," she said as she kissed him good morning. Jack wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You're welcome and good morning. You ready to go?"

"Yes. Let me grab my bag." Jack followed her in and stood at the front room while she ducked into her room. He noticed the blankets on the couch and empty tea cups.

"Rosie or Lee?" He asked as she came out pointing to the couch making her laugh.

"Lee, he's actually asleep in the guest room."

"I'm surprised you didn't have the whole trifecta waiting for you. Abigail, Rosie and Lee.

"To be honest, I was too." She replied as they both laughed.

By hour two Elizabeth had succumbed to her exhaustion and fell asleep with her hand resting on Jack's leg as he drove. Jack kept his hand over hers when he wasn't using it. Alone with his thoughts he was left to ponder. He thanked God for the another chance with Elizabeth. He knew that whilst it was Elizabeth's person that was willing to give him yet another chance, who loved him enough to hang in there and not walk away, it was God's ultimate grace that flowed through her that allowed for another chance. She could have kept walking and he had given her plenty of reason to doubt his love but here she was beside him. He brought her hand to his lips before laying it back down on his leg. He was serious when he said he had a planned for a future, their future. If he were honest it was one he planned whilst she was still in Hope Valley. It was the plan he always had. In his heart she was always end game. He had switched the music from her playlist to his and started playing his favourite worship songs. There was something about the silence and the peace in that moment that had he been stationary, he would have been on his knees. Instead He prayed. He worshipped. He praised. Elizabeth woke to his singing one of her favourite worship songs,

"I set this time aside

Singing of the love I find

As I worship you my God

Distraction fades away

And I find clarity

As I enter your presence

All my love, All my life

For you, For you.

And I sing this song

For an audience of one

Search my heart and find it after yours

Let my life, bless you Lord

All my soul, all my soul

No other can take

Take your hopes for me

You are higher than all things

When love is meant to be,

Is now found in me

As my heart touches yours

All my love, All my life

For you, For you.

And I sing this song

For an audience of one

Search my heart and find it after yours

Let my life, bless you Lord

All my soul, all my soul"

She could see in between the verses, he was muttering between his breath, in prayer and in declaration. Whilst she always she knew he was a Godly man, it wasn't until that moment she knew that he was prayerful and full of surrender in his faith in God. It was as though God had allowed her to witness a private moment so that she could trust in the words behind the man because they were rooted in the faith he had in Jesus. Elizabeth an overwhelming love overcome her. For him, but also for God for giving her that moment. She felt the tears well up in her eyes. She squeezed his hand drawing him out of the moment.

"Hey," he said seeing the tears in her eyes

"Can you pull over?" she asked as he nodded. They were on an open road where there was nothing but greenery. As he pulled over Elizabeth got out of the car as he worriedly he walked over to her.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asked. Without a word she threw her arms around his waist and hugged him tighter than ever before.

"I love you and I trust you with my heart." She said softly but definitively, looking up at him as he cupped her face with his hands.

"I need you to hear that. Everything aside, I know your love for me is pure. That despite the circumstances and all that we have endured, you are who God destined for me, and I believe he destined me for you. So I'm in this. I'm all in. However we navigate this, God will be at the centre because it's the only way we can ever work. It's how he designed us to be. So I commit us, our future to him and his works. Whilst we may do that separately now, I want us to do it together." Jack's eyes filled with tears. Everything she was saying to him was the very thing he had just been praying without words.

"As do I."

"Okay, good."


	13. Chapter 13

The week before Rosemary and Lee's wedding was chaotic as it would be the 3rd last weekend she would have before the last week of school and essentially before she got on a plane to London. Elizabeth and Abigail were busy helping Rosemary with tying up loose ends. They were thankful that they had gotten the bridal shower done months before. The weekend before the wedding Elizabeth and Abigail had planned a spa day and high tea with Rosie's sister and closest friends. She and Rosemary were staying at the hotel where they booked Spa and High Tea the night before. They had planned a dinner with Abigail and Faith that evening.

"Hi Baby," she answered as his face appeared on her phone mount in the car. Jack could see she was driving.

"Hey Sweetheart. Are you just now leaving work?"

"Unfortunately yes. Meeting ran a little long. Rosie's already checked in and enjoying the facilities so at least one of us is. I just need to pick up my bags and drive to the hotel."

"I've just picked up Logan from school and we're at Abigail's. Why don't I drive you and Abigail in?"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. It'll give me a little time with you."

"That would be nice." She replied.

"Alright it's settled. I will see you at your place in a half hour."

"See you then,"

As he knocked on the door he heard her call out from her bedroom.

"It's open, come on in." She came out of her bedroom just as he walked in.

"Sweetheart, not safe." He said disapprovingly eliciting a smile from her,

"I'm sorry. It's a secure building and I was expecting you but point taken." She replied knowing to argue with him would be moot.

"Where's Abigail?" She asked,

"She's hitching a ride with Faith as she promised Cody and Logan that she would help them finish a project she started with them."

"Cookie Village," she answered knowingly.

"It's due Wednesday. They've been working on it for weeks." Jack smiled, it never ceases to amaze him just how invested she was in the kids lives.

"So it's just you and me?" She asked mischievously stepping forward so she was directly in front of him, looking up at him with her head tilted in such a way that she was aware drove him insane. Jack bent his head so that his face hovered teasingly over hers.

"Why yes Miss Thatcher, it's just you and I."

"You're cute Jack Thornton," she said as she kissed his cheek quickly before turning around to escape teasingly. However she was no match for Jack's quick reflexes as he drew her into his arms locking her into an embrace. Elizabeth grinned standing on her toes to kiss him.

"You know this isn't helping you get to Rosie quicker," he said between kisses

"Not that I'm complaining. You're the one that has to spend the night with Rosie." Elizabeth groaned,

"You make a good point," she muttered begrudgingly making him laugh.

"We have tomorrow night," he promised. He had arranged to pick her up from High Tea so that they could have an evening together. He was going to cook her dinner at her place so they could just hang out. With the wedding and school ending time was passing quickly and they knew their extended separation was just around the corner.

"I'm looking forward to it." She replied burying her face deeper into his chest. He knew she was starting to worry about leaving, that as excited as she was it was becoming real that she would be gone for so long. As much as he didn't want her to go, he knew she had to go for herself. He rubbed her back gently and soothingly. She let out a deep sigh,

"I guess we should go."

Elizabeth picked up the key Rosemary had left for her at the reception desk as Jack after insisting on carrying her bags for her. Elizabeth knocked on the door before entering in case Rosemary was getting ready for the evening. She was surprised to be met with silence. Upon entering the hotel room she found a note on the table from Rosemary telling her she had hit the gym and would be back in about an hour. Jack placed her bag in the cupboard,

"I'll walk you down and then I'll join Rosemary at the gym for a bit." She said taking his hand.

"Do you want to get changed so you can go straight there?"

"No, it's okay. I'll take you down." Elizabeth felt awkward being in a hotel room alone with him. Jack dropped a kiss to her forehead in understanding.

"Let's go."

Elizabeth changed and met Rosemary at the hotel gym. She could see that she was doing her stretches in the corner of the room. She gave her a quick wave not wanting to interrupt before jumping on the treadmill to start her own training. An hour later she and Rosemary headed back upstairs.

"Jack drop you off?"

"Yeah, he knew I was running late so he thought driving me would make me less late."

"That and he's just trying to squeeze in as much time with you as possible."

"That too. I'm a little glad that we have your wedding to concentrate on because if we weren't so busy I don't think I would be as calm about having to leave for such a long time."

"Are you worried?" Rosemary asked,

"About us? No not really. It's more that I know how much I will miss him and everyone really."

"At least Auggie will be there too."

"I'm so thankful."

"When is Jack flying back to Hope Valley?"

"He's organised it so that we're leaving the same day. Both our flight path's had a stop over in Dubai so he's managed to book my flight to Dubai so we would at least have that leg together. Which works out well because Auggie had to take a later flight due to commitments so he will meet me there for our leg to London."

"That's great. How is he with you going?"

"Better than what he was when he first found out, better than what he was when he realised I was going and we were back together."

"That's good. He's really proud of you."

"I know, it means a lot to me that he is."

Both Elizabeth and Rosie were showered, dressed and finishing their hair and make up by the time Abigail and Faith arrived. It was a great evening out for the girls. The four of them as a unit had a unique, their time in Hope Valley certainly cemented their bond. She knew it meant a lot to Rosie that they had their own time together.

Rosemary enjoyed being spoilt from dinner, to drinks at the their hotel rooftop bar, to spa day and high tea. By the time Jack had picked up Elizabeth late Saturday afternoon she was absolutely exhausted. He waited at the lobby as they finished up. Abigail had spotted him first sitting on one of the lounges completely content with reading a book as he waited for Elizabeth. Abigail placed a hand on Elizabeth's arm and tilted her head towards Jack's direction. Elizabeth's face lit up at the sight of him. As though sensing her gaze he lifted his head and grinned as his eyes met hers. He stood to his feet and made his way towards them.

"Hey ladies, did you have a good time?" he asked as they all nodded enthusiastically. He dropped a kiss on all their cheeks before drawing Elizabeth into his arms.

"Hey Sweetheart, you ready to go?" Elizabeth looked up as he kissed her on her forehead.

"Ready," she answered as she laced her fingers through his. Abigail and Rosemary exchanged a smile at their friends subtle public display of affection.

"Rosemary, why don't you just come with us. You live practically live next door. It'll save Faith the detour, Jack offered.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course," Elizabeth assured her friend. She knew they were all trying to give them alone time. A forty minute ride wasn't going to make a difference.

"Abigail, thank you for taking Logan for the evening. I have just dropped him off at your place. Becky was baking with them when I left."

"She's a good kid that Becky," Elizabeth stated fondly.

"Yes she is."

After saying goodbye to Faith and Abigail the three of them headed home. Rosemary did not waste anytime with small talk and literally jumped out of the car the moment it had stopped, amusing both Jack and Elizabeth to no end.

"You think she wants us to have alone time or something?" Elizabeth noted sarcastically as they parked his car in front of her her garage. Jack grinned and brought her hand to his lips,

"I'm not complaining."

"Nor am I." She replied as she placed her hand on his cheek affectionately.

Jack had cooked an amazing three course meal for them and spent most of dinner eating with one hand as the other remained intertwined with Elizabeth's resting on his knee. After dinner they had retired to her couch with a movie. Generally nights like these they would play board games as more often than not Logan was with them which she equally loved. With her head resting on his shoulder as his arms were comfortably wrapped around her she couldn't help but sigh with contentment.

"You okay?" He asked dropping a kiss on her temple,

"Yeah, I can't imagine being anywhere else but right here."

"Me too."

Lee and Rosemary's wedding was a force to be reckoned with, much like Rosemary. Both Lee and Rosemary were staying at the hotel near the church. They were both banned from seeing each other the night before. Elizabeth divided her time from one floor to another. Carson, Jack and her Dad were in charge of keeping Lee entertained while The girls rallied around Rosemary. Rosemary had dinner with her parents and sister whilst Lee had dinner with the Thatcher's and his mother. Elizabeth's sisters were thankfully able to join in the festivities which allowed Elizabeth some time with them before she headed to London.

After dinner Elizabeth had excused herself to check on Rosemary whilst Lee and her Dad had their father and son moment. Her sisters were hanging out with their Aunt in the hotel room she shared with Julie. Viola, Lionel and their kids were staying at the hotel also. Elizabeth had agreed to room with Lee for old times sake, just as they used to when they were younger. Whenever they went on holidays Julie and Viola shared a twin room whilst she and Lee shared another for which she was grateful for. Viola and Julie fought so often about everything which always left her in the middle. Having Lee evened them out and provided her with the escape from her role as peacemaker between her sisters. She loved them dearly and was incredibly close to them but they sure tried her patience. They got better as they got older but some days they slipped back into their routines which always amused Lionel and Lee who were the innocent bystanders. Their Dad a veteran at tuning them out counted his learned behaviour a saving grace, even if he did sympathise for Elizabeth. She often teased him that they were a team in everything unless it was a Julie and Viola hurricane, at that point it was every man/woman for themselves. To which her Dad always sheepishly answered her with nothing but a smile.

There were so many elements to the execution of the wedding that Elizabeth, Abigail and Faith had a list which they diligently ticked off. Carson and Jack had their own list too that Rosemary had allocated them. Fortunately both were well versed in Rosemary and they loved her all the more for it. They were more than happy to help in pulling off the wedding of the century.

Abigail, Faith and Elizabeth left Rosie to the more than capable hands of her sister at around 10pm. They had spent that afternoon getting their nails done so that all that had to be done in the morning was hair and make up. Elizabeth felt the tiredness overtake her as she got back to the hotel room she shared with Lee. When he wasn't there she considered joining her Aunt and sisters in their room but knew her Aunt would want to turn in early so instead she changed into her swimmers to go for a swim hoping to wake herself up in time for Lee's return. She left him a note telling him where she was and opted to leave her phone in the room not really planning to be gone too long. So that he wouldn't rush, she also sent her Dad a quick message letting him know of her plans. Without wasting time she dove into the water with a clean entrance, she had done a few laps before she stopped for a breath. Tired but somewhat exhilarated she jumped on the edge of the pool and sat there dangling her feet in the water lost in her own thoughts. In a week she would be leaving for London. Whilst she had the first leg with Jack, she knew she would eventually have to say goodbye to him. They would be separated for over almost two months. She couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive about their separation. If their history was anything to go by, it was any wonder she was apprehensive.

Jack had checked in with Lee before retiring for the night. Lee had told him that he was still at the bar with his Uncle but would be heading up to meet with Elizabeth back in the room. Jack had sent her a message and when she didn't reply he took a chance and went to the pool knowing that she was hanging out for a swim all day. He found her lying on her towel, legs still in the water. Her eyes were closed but he knew she wasn't asleep. She felt his presence before she opened her eyes, the distinct aftershave confirmed who it was. He bent down and kissed her on the lips. She opened her eyes and ran her hands through his hair.

"Hi Baby. What are you doing here?" she asked. He was in his chino shorts and t shirt from that early afternoon when she handed Logan over after their morning together. They had a special breakfast date that morning. Elizabeth sat up as he sat beside her dangling his legs in the pool.

"I checked in with the groom to make sure he didn't need anything. Logan had gone down a couple of hours ago and I was about to turn in."

"He's still out bonding with my father. I'm thinking they should have bunked together and given me my own room." She joked,

"As tempting as that would be you know Lee wouldn't kick out his last night as a single man with anyone else but you. He almost insisted you come to the bachelor party."

"That's because I have been Leland Coulter's side kick from the moment I was born."

"Well every Batman needs a Robin."

"You realise I'm Batman right?" She pointed out making him laugh,

"Never questioned who was who for a moment."

"Good to know. How did you know where I would be?"

"Well the last message you sent me told me you were headed back to your room, so when Lee told me he was still out I called you and it went to voicemail. I figured you would wander down here to kill time." He answered so simply that she had to chuckle.

"Good job Detective. I knew if I waited for Lee in our room I would be dead asleep upon his return and he would never wake me so I thought I may as well go for a swim. Why are you up so late?"

"I was hoping to see you before you turned in." he admitted making her smile. She kissed his cheek and lay her head on his shoulder,

"I'm glad. This may just be my favourite part of today." Jack wrapped an arm around her,

" I'm wet," she warned him,

"I truly don't care," he assured her pulling her closer to him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked breaking the silence that hovered over them.

"I know things are different, I do." She said looking up at him then paused,

"But I have to be honest, there's a part of me that's a little apprehensive about having you put me on a plane. It just brings up memories that's all." He had already guess that was weighing on her mind and he couldn't blame her. Every time he had put her on a plane, she was never to hear from him again. It was one of the many things he needed to undo in her head and in her heart. He dropped his lips to her head and held her tighter,

"I get it, but things are different. I love you. You know I love you. You know we have a future. When you come back I will be the one at the airport waiting for you…and the rest of your entourage. My point is, I'm not going anywhere. Nothing is going to change the fact that I love you and I want our future. That I will be waiting for you. Elizabeth you have my word."

"Thank you," she replied feeling better that she had told him. He could see that as much as she wanted to believe him the fact that he had put her on a plane one too many times and not following through was on loop in her mind. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his middle,

"I love you too."

Reluctantly Elizabeth knew she had to head back to her room. Jack had walked her to her door, by the quietness she knew that Lee wasn't back yet. She leaned against her door as he kissed her.

"I love you," he murmured between kisses. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her,

"I know, with all my heart I do. I love you too." She said softly looking at him right in the eye allowing him to see right through her. It literally took his breath away. He buried his head into her shoulder and she hugged him tightly.

"You should go, our luck my Dad and Lee will be coming out of the lift any time now." She said softly loosening her hold on him as his arms remained tightly around her waist.

"You'll see me tomorrow morning," she promised. Begrudgingly he released her.

"Goodnight Baby," she said cupping his face with her hand. Jack held her hand in place as he kissed her one last time,

"Good night Sweetheart,"

Elizabeth had just gotten out of the shower when she heard Lee enter their room. She emerged from the shower in her flannel pyjamas hair wrapped in a towel,

"It's about time," she teased as Lee grinned at her sheepishly,

"Your Dad had apparently had a whole lot of wisdom to impart."

"Oh no!"

"Mostly he talked about your Mom, about how much he loved her. How his life began when she walked into his life," Elizabeth teared up,

"That man sets the bar high," she replied with an eye roll. Lee gave her a hug knowing how much she missed her Mom.

"For what it's worth you have one just like him, who thinks you are the stars and the moon."

"Was he okay when you left him or was he wallowing?" she asked not addressing his comment.

"That's why I stayed a little longer to make sure we ended on a happy note instead of a sad one."

"Thank you Lee. Why don't you grab a shower? I'll order us room service," she suggested as he grinned.

"Sounds like a plan." Elizabeth handed him the pyjamas she had bought for him. He laughed as he took it from her. Matching pyjamas was one of their many traditions and it seemed only fitting that they had one last one before he got married.

"Don't think you're getting away with deflecting what I just said," he pointed out as he headed towards the bathroom.

"As if I would ever be that lucky."

By the time he was finished with his shower room service had arrived with Pizza, fries and cocktails. He noted that on the table lay a small box with a ribbon tied around it.

"We're doing presents now?" he questioned with an eyebrow raised. As she nodded he dug into his bag and pulled one out for her,

"Why do I get one?" she asked incredulously,

"For being my best man, and my best friend."

"I get one for that? I thought that was just my lot in life," she teased.

"It is, but no one said you can't get compensated for such a task." He replied dryly,

"Well I appreciate that."

"I thought you would. Now food first or present first?" Elizabeth looked at him feigning horror,

"This from the boy who used to wake me up at 5am every Christmas, Birthday, Easter or any gift receiving holiday to sneak downstairs to see what was waiting?" Lee laughed,

"Fair play, me first then." He said taking his box from the table and shaking it.

"You have people fooled thinking you're an adult, if they only knew." She observed shaking her head as he just grinned at her in response. For a boy he was a careful gift opener which Elizabeth was convinced he did to drive her crazy as she was completely the opposite.

"Oh Elizabeth," he said as he held the stainless steel skeleton mechanical pocket watch in his hand. She had engraved his initials at the front. Inside she had engraved both his and Rosemary's names with their wedding date. On the back flap she had a small inscription that read 'to my best friend, with love always Bethie'. With tears in his eyes he drew her into a hug.

"You like it?" she asked,

"I love it."

"You hate wearing watches, and you never know what time it is so I thought you could just keep this in your pocket, starting tomorrow." she pointed out.

"Duly noted, thanks Beth. It's amazing. Open yours." He said handing her a small box. Inside she found a tiffany oval locket. Inside was a photo of the two of them, on one side was a 7 year old Lee and on the right was a 5 year old Elizabeth. Cropped from one of their favourite photos.

"I know I'm getting married, but I want you to know I'll always be there for you. No matter what. Whatever time of day." Elizabeth tearfully nodded,

"I know. Thank you. I love it."

"So talk to me about Jack, why am I sensing you wigging?"

"Because you're paranoid?"

"Or I just know you too well?"

"That too. I have no regrets about the decision I made to go. I know it's an opportunity of a lifetime and I am meant to go. I just can't help but feel Jack and I are finally making progress and now I'm leaving as though I'm gambling with our future. I'm also feeling anxious about having him put me on the plane because every time he's done that it's never ended well."

"Elizabeth, that's different."

"My head knows that. My heart can't get past it because what plays a loop in my mind is him putting me on a plane and me never hearing from him again."

"And that's natural, but you need to let him know where you're at. No bolting." She was about to protest, but she happened to be sitting in front of the person who knew her best.

"I'm trying not to bolt and for your information we have already had the conversation."

"Good," Lee replied with a smirk earning a pillow in his face.


	14. Chapter 14

Knowing they were going to be up quite early the next morning they didn't stay up too late aware that Rosemary would kill them both if they had bags under their eyes. As one last act of torture Elizabeth made him do a face mask with her. With their matching pyjamas they had taken several selfies that Lee knew he would live to regret. Elizabeth did send one to Rosemary who laughed hysterically at her best friend and husband to be.

Early the next morning Elizabeth let Lee sleep in knowing his getting regime was not going to be as extensive as the rest of them. She had planned to meet her family for breakfast after she had checked in with the rest of the bridal party. Just as she walked out of her room Jack was about to knock.

"Morning," she said greeted giving him a hug,

"I am on my way to meet Carson at the gym. Thought you could use a coffee before heading into chaos." He said handing her a skim mocha,

"You're the best and thank you. You're joining us for family breakfast right?" she asked as they got into the elevator,

"Yep, we will all be there."

"Great, see you in a couple of hours Babe." She said kissing his cheek before getting off at Rosemary's floor just in time as Abigail was coming out of her room.

"Morning friend," Elizabeth greeted giving her a hug hello.

"Morning! Are you ready for a whirlwind day?"

"Absolutely," she said holding up a bag that held champagne, orange juice and strawberries as Abigail carried the bag with box of champagne flutes.

Rosemary was relatively calm for someone who was getting married. She was pretty zen which was not at all what they were anticipating. They had mimosa's whilst waiting for the stylists to arrive. Elizabeth opted to go last as she still had breakfast with Lee and their family.

Everyone had just sat down for breakfast when Elizabeth made it to the private dining room of the hotel restaurant.

"Aunt Bea," Logan jumped to his feet as she walked into the room. He rushed over to her and threw his arms around her waist.

"Morning Buddy," she greeted wrapping her arms around him dropping her lips to his head. Viola's kids Theodora 7 and William 5 followed close behind. She greeted each child in the same manner. Elizabeth sat between Lee and Jack. Her two year old niece Katherine on her lap as they ate. She kept a close eye on the time as she caught up with her family and talked Wedding game plan with Lee and the rest of the groomsmen. Which were Noah, Carson, Peter and Jack.

Elizabeth left breakfast before everyone else to get ready with the Bridesmaids. As Lee's best man her dress matched the dark grey of his groomsmens suits but her dress was the same design as the rest of the Bridesmaids. With her hair currently just above her shoulder she opted to leave it down. The hairdresser had given her soft waves throughout for texture. Her dress and make up brought a different pop to her eyes. As she emerged from the bathroom after changing into her dress completely oblivious Lee chuckled.

"What are you smirking at Leland?"

"The fact that you're going to take someone's breath away at the sight of you." Elizabeth rolled her eyes at him as she straightened his bow tie that matched her dress. His suit was specifically a lighter shade of grey. Elizabeth was infuriatingly unaware of her own beauty.

"How are you feeling?" She asked,

"Excited. It feels like we've been planning this wedding for so long,"

"Because you have," She interjected earning a light smack in the arm.

"At this risk of sounding sappy, I'm really proud of the man you've become. You're the best person I know and the best friend I could ever ask for. I love Rosemary but I don't entrust you with just anyone. I know in my heart you two are meant to be and you bring out the best in each other. My life would not have been the same had I not had you by my side every step of the way." Lee swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I love you kid, always have always will. Whatever the road ahead brings know that you will be with me. You will forever be the Batman to my Robin."

"I love you too big brother," she said as he drew her into a hug.

A knock on the door had interrupted their sap fest to which they were both grateful for knowing that they were both trying not to cry. Lee went to get the door as she went to the bathroom to make sure that she hadn't ruined her make up. As she came out Jack stilled unprepared for the elegance and grace that exuded from her in that moment.

"Elizabeth, you look amazing."

"Thank you Jack," She replied blushing as Lee smirked behind Jack as if to say 'I told you so'. Ignoring him she looked at the time and grabbed her phone not needing anything else. She had packed a duffel the night before full of things they would need throughout the day and a few things that were 'in case of emergency'. Abigail had her bridesmaid clutch which held her make up for touch ups. Her Dad was in charge of said duffel and he had already placed it in his car to transfer into the bridal party car before the ceremony started. Lee had insisted Elizabeth ride in with the rest of the bridesmaids to which she agreed to. She kissed them both goodbye as she headed to Rosie's floor where they were doing last minute touch ups.

"She's working a lot of mileage going from this floor to Rosie's." Jack joked making Lee laugh.

"That she is. She's going to go to bed tonight not knowing why she's exhausted." Lee replied.

"Oh Rosie, you're stunning!" Elizabeth gasped at the sight of her oldest friend in the world.

"Don't you start Elizabeth Thatcher!" Rosemary warned as she watched Elizabeth's eyes begin to water

"I'm not crying!" Elizabeth said trying really hard not to, making them all chuckle in amusement.

Just as Elizabeth fluffed her best friends dress one last time before she had to go on up front to join Lee she looked up,

"I'm really happy for you Rosie. I don't think there is anyone better suited to each other than the two of you. I can't imagine entrusting either one of my besties wholeheartedly to anyone else but to either of you."

"We will take care of each other," Rosie promised.

"I know you will."

"Bea,"

"Yeah?"

"You deserve the very same happiness and overwhelming love."

"Thank you Rosie,"

"Jack," she began but Elizabeth stopped her,

"I know Rosie. Today isn't about me and Jack. Today is about you and Lee. Besides, Jack and I have monopolised enough air time in the last few months. This day can just be yours and Lee's okay?" Rosie grinned with a nod. Elizabeth gave her oldest and dearest friend a long, meaningful and somewhat tearful hug before making her way towards her other best friend. The look on Elizabeth's face was enough of a warning that Lee was going to end up in tears upon seeing his beautiful bride. As Elizabeth approached Lee he smiled lovingly at her and hugged her before she stepped beside him.

"Thank you Bug, for always standing by my side."

"There's no where else I could imagine ever being Lee."

Jack's eyes did not leave Elizabeth the moment she had walked down the aisle to join them out front beside Lee. She was breathtakingly beautiful and completely unaware of it. As she stood beside him she smiled before turning her attention towards the door where Rosemary was due to walk through. He had kissed her temple and placed a hand on the small of her back. As Rosemary walked down the aisle there were tears all round. Elizabeth stole a glance at Lee who was completely captivated by his bride. As though he had been holding his breath for years, until this very moment that she was headed towards him, his face mirrored the completion Rosemary felt. This was their moment and if you didn't know them you could almost feel as though you were intruding in on a private moment. Elizabeth felt Jack take her hand in his. She glanced up at him and acknowledged the gesture. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. When he didn't release her hand, she wasn't at all surprised.

Elizabeth couldn't help but feel overwhelmed as she watched two people she loved so much finally come together as one. She had loved being a part of their journey. Whilst theirs was not as tumultuous as Jack and Elizabeth, they waited some time to get to where they were. As tears involuntarily fell down her cheeks Jack had wrapped an arm around her waist and handed her a handkerchief with his free hand.

"Before God, your family and your friends. I now pronounce you husband and wife!" Pastor Frank announced happily and the rest of them cheered loud and proud.

After the ceremony it was a whirlwind of activities as Elizabeth and Abigail switched to Best Woman and Head Bridesmaid mode. They organised photos at the church with immediate family, a complete attendance group shot before herding bride and groom into their bridal car. The rest of them the piled into their respective bridal cars to make their way to their photo shoot destination.

They took photos for about an hour with the whole bridal party before heading back to the hotel where the reception was being held. Lee and Rosemary had another photo shoot destination just them two which meant the rest of them could get some down time before the reception that evening. Whilst it wouldn't be long, it was enough time to freshen up. It was also an opportunity to allow the little people a quick nap if they required one. As they arrived at the hotel Jack had made his way to their car to open the door for her with a half conscious Logan in his arms.

"Oh Buddy, you need a nap." She said affectionately ruffling his hair and dropping a kiss to his forehead. Logan stretched his arms out to her and without hesitation she handed Abigail her clutch to take the little boy into her arms. Logan wrapped his arms around her neck, legs around her middle and immediately placed his head on her shoulder burrowing his face to her neck.

They all headed to the Stanton's suite as it was the biggest. Both Cody and Logan had passed out from a late night and early morning. Elizabeth sympathised and felt the same exhaustion they felt. With the kids asleep in one of the rooms the adults got to enjoy the afternoon spread that Rosemary and Lee had organised for them knowing they would all end up in the Stanton's suite. The chances of them also ending up there was quite a high one. Elizabeth and Abigail went through their list of to dos and don't forgets. They were standing by the kitchen counter side by side laughing about something that only they seemed privy too when Jack approached them handing each a plate filled with food.

"Eat, you have a long night ahead of you." He said leaving no room for argument. He was about to leave them be when Elizabeth caught his hand and drew him closer to her. Abigail smiled and excused herself to join Noah on the couch.

"Thank you," Elizabeth said gratefully as she stood on her tippy toes to kiss his cheek. Jack smiled and dropped his lips to hers.

"You're welcome," he murmured wrapping his arms around her.

"Tired?" He asked.

"Aren't you?" She replied without answering him knowing he already knew the answer.

"Yeah, so I can only imagine how you're feeling."

"I'll be okay. I plan on sleeping in tomorrow." She confessed.

"Good plan."

When Lee and Rosemary joined them in the Stanton's suite, they fed them before whisking Rosemary off to the master to touch up her make up and remove the train of her dress to allow her mobility. They all laughed when Rosemary lay exhaustedly on the bed.

"Don't get too comfortable you need to be downstairs in a little over an hour." Abigail warned teasingly

"Until then can I get a 10 minute shut eye as you guys fill me in on where we are with the list."

"Forget the list, we are all over it. Have a ten minute shut eye while I grab all of us a coffee." Elizabeth said leaving the room. Instead of making them a coffee Elizabeth felt like she needed some air. She considered going alone but knew that would never fly. Carson had come out of the bathroom as she stepped out of the master suite,

"Hey partner, how are you holding up?" He asked knowing how tired she would be feeling at that point. Elizabeth grinned,

"As well as can be expected." She replied as he draped a brotherly arm around her shoulder.

"I was going to sneak off for a coffee run, you in?" She asked conspiratorially as he flashed her that cheeky grin he sported when he was about to drag her into trouble.

"Are we going through the front door or climbing out a window? Because I'd hate to rain on your parade or doubt your mad skills but you will never be able to climb out of a window in that dress. Had you gone down the traditional path of groomsmen attire you could have shimmed down the window." Elizabeth laughed out loud and lightly elbowed him in the stomach.

"Be quiet, I was hoping to slip out of here undetected."

"And you thought by dragging in an accomplice it would be more acceptable?" He asked as she nodded taking him by the hand and dragging him to the front door whilst everyone was in the lounge room either talking quietly or sitting there with their eyes shut. Successfully they had made it out the door and into the elevator without getting caught.

Conveniently there was a Starbucks downstairs in their hotel lobby. They ordered everyone's favourite caffeine beverage and waited as the baristas put together their order,

"You know Bea avoiding him isn't going make him think less about your future any more than it's going to push him into proposing to you today because he senses you're at odds with yourself and your future." Carson said quietly as they stood side by side. She turned to him and opened her mouth only to shut it again. Of course he saw right through her. Just as Lee did that morning, Rosie, Abigail and more than likely Jack.

"I just needed a moment to breathe that's all. I just felt like the walls were closing in on me. I don't want him to promise me a future until he knows it's for real and not because he thinks I'd bolt if he doesn't." She answered softly.

"Bea, it's for real." Carson said gently giving her hand a squeeze.

"My heart knows that. It does. My head just automatically goes into preservation mode."

"I get that, he does too." Elizabeth smiled up at him,

"Does that mean he's no longer on your watch list?" It was no secret that Lee, Carson, Noah and even Peter were on hulk mode after she and Jack broke up. Whilst they understood both side, their soft spot for Elizabeth immediately had them all on Dad mode. Even more than her own father.

"Hey I've been good. I haven't looked at him suspiciously for weeks."

"I'm sure he appreciates that. And thank you Carson. For always watching out for me."

"What are friends for Lizzie Bear."

Ten minutes later they entered the suite with the drinks they had ordered. She saw that Jack had his head thrown back eyes closed on the single arm chair. She walked over to him from behind, wrapped both her arms around his shoulders dropping a kiss on his temple as she ran her hands soothingly on his chest. He woke immediately at her touch,

"Hey I didn't mean to wake you. I brought you coffee. It's on the coffee table in front of you."

"Thank you." He replied running his hand up and down her arm that remained around him.

"You okay?" He asked locking gaze with her,

"Yeah, I'm tired." She admitted.

"Sit with me," she hesitated,

"I have to bring Rosemary and Abigail their coffee," she answered regretfully,

"I'll take it to them Aunt Bea," Becky offered

"Thank you Becky, tell them I'll be in in a little bit." Elizabeth replied as she sat beside Jack in the chair. His arms enveloped her as she got comfortable wedged against him. Head resting against his chest as his hand lay comfortably on her waist. Elizabeth closed her eyes contently taking a moment.

"One day, I promise." He murmured against her hair. Elizabeth opened her eyes only to close them again. She squeezed the hand that was intertwined with hers in acknowledgment and understanding.


	15. Chapter 15

"Hey Bea, I'll be home later tonight. I have a FaceTime date with Antoni. Going to take a walk along Tower Bridge and landmarks to show him." Elizabeth smiled,

"Aww, he'd love that. Enjoy. Did you want dinner?" She asked. Whilst they had loved living in the university residence with the others, for the holidays they had rented out an AirBNB flat together for some privacy. They had planned to host Christmas Dinner with friends they had in London.

"I'm good. I will probably grab something while FaceTiming. Let me know if you need me to pick up anything,"

"Will do, but should be fine."

Saying goodbye wasn't as epic or as traumatic as Jack and Elizabeth had feared it would be. It helped that the wedding, post wedding, packing and last minute preparing made them too busy to actually think about it.

Jack, Logan and Elizabeth had enjoyed their short time together in Dubai as they waited for Auggie. Whilst she and Jack were okay, it was Logan who struggled to part from her. As the days neared to their return to Hope Valley he grew more and attached to Elizabeth and barely left her side. Abigail had dubbed him Elizabeth's shadow. They were all a little concerned for what the trip ahead would be like for him. He had been so little when Emily had passed that he was beginning to lose parts of what he remembered.

She and Jack checked in with each other throughout the day. Logan FaceTimed her at bedtime every night and she would read to him as she did when they were both in Sydney. Most mornings he would beg Jack to FaceTime his beloved Aunt Bea. Jack could see that Emily's parents were not at all impressed that there was an Elizabeth in their lives. For the most part he kept that from Elizabeth knowing it would only hurt her. To her credit Elizabeth had expected nothing less and was quite careful and provided respectful distance, leaving Jack to initiate contact each time.

"Hi Baby," she greeted answering Jack's Skype call on her laptop. She was in one of the study rooms at the University finishing up a few things before heading home.

"Hey Sweetheart, you're still at school? I thought for sure you and Auggie would be making the most of that flat."

"We are, I spent most of the day there prepping for Christmas dinner but I needed to print out a few things and pick up clothing I forgot in my dorm room."

"Since when do you under pack?" he teased.

"I'm slipping right? To be fair it was more I needed more layers as it's getting super cold. Not that I'm hating on it. I want it to snow. It's been a very long time since I have since a white Christmas." Her last one had been in Hope Valley with him, many years ago.

"How are you going?" she asked as she began to pack up for the night ready to head back to their AirBNB.

"Good,"

"Is Logan sleeping better?" she asked knowing that he was having a terrible time sleeping. They weren't sure if it was jet lag or feeling the weight of their trip.

"Yeah, I think it helped that we moved to the company apartment suites." Jack confessed. They had stayed with Charlotte and Bill the first couple of days, and then Emily's parents insisted they stay with them for a couple of days so that they could get some time with Logan. Elizabeth knew that Jack didn't want to sleep in his old home with Emily, therefore when he told her that they were moving into the apartment suites, she wasn't surprised. Elizabeth put everything down that she was doing and sat down to look at him, noting the tired circles under his eyes.

"He's not the only one not sleeping is he?" Jack shook his head,

"No, I'm tossing and turning all night too."

"I'm sorry Jack," It was hard for Elizabeth to watch him struggle from afar, but she knew it was something he had to go through alone. It was not something she could help him with. She could only tell him how much she loved him, and she did. That she would be there for him, which she was but this was something he had to learn how to navigate and close all on his own. Elizabeth knew that there was a risk that he would realise he wasn't ready for them and as much as that pained her, it was something he would need to figure out.

"I miss you." He said hoarsely clearing his throat.

"I miss you too. Have you decided when you're going to head back to Sydney?" she asked knowing that Emily's parents were wanting them to stay until before Logan had to go back to school knowing Jack's job left a lot of room to work from wherever.

"I asked Logan, and he wants to go home as soon as possible. He misses everyone back home. Peter, Becky, Cody, Aunt Abigail and you mostly. I think being around them helps him not feel so far away from you."

"I get that, but Jack he needs to get to know his family too. They're his family and they'll always be yours too." She said gently,

"You both just need to give it a better go. He will never feel comfortable if you don't. Don't let my presence draw a wedge between you and Emily's parents. It's not fair to Logan. They're still his grandparents. They have every right to resent who I am in your life." She said finally addressing the elephant in the room.

"They will always mourn the daughter they lost. They love you and that little boy so much. They're just scared to lose the last piece of her, especially to someone else. I get that. You need to have grace for that. It's not their fault any more than it's yours."

"I feel like a jerk, from all angles."

"I know Sweetie, but you're not a jerk. If you were you wouldn't be losing sleep over it. You said you wanted to go there to close your doors, to get a closure. So do it. Not by rushing through it, but by giving it the attention it deserves. Create memories with Logan that he can take with him back to Sydney. Remind him of her, of the places they used to go to, all the things you used to love to do together. Give her back to him so that he can remember her. She's her mother Jack, she always will be. Give him the memories that is beginning to dim for him. Give him something he will remember well into his retirement. You owe him and her that much." Jack knew that she was right. That whilst he may be in Hope Valley his heart was wherever she was because he didn't want to lose her. He knew that his heart wasn't open to do all the things he needed to be because he was afraid of it. Of what it would bring up. What it would cost.

"I love you," he spoke so sincerely that it made her tear up,

"I love you, but you need to do this for you. For Logan. For her."

"For us," he finished.

"For us," she replied.

To say Elizabeth enjoyed the training program would be an understatement. Auggie watched as she thrived soaking in as much as her brain possibly could. He saw her go from shy observation to a willing and passionate contributor. He watched as the shell she hid behind shatter as she became alive, striving for what she was truly passionate about. She worked hard and Auggie made sure they played hard. She and Auggie made the most of their time in London. Living for every moment and new experiences. Jack knew she was having the time of her life and he was incredibly happy for her and proud.

Christmas and New Year had come and gone. Elizabeth resumed her crazy whirlwind life with Auggie. On the days that they weren't in the throes of training, they would take side trips to neighbouring towns and countries they wanted to hit. Shamelessly they took advantage of having Paris only a train ride away. They explored different parts of Paris each time.

Jack enjoyed watching her thrive in her element. He wished he was around to witness it first hand instead of through stories she told him when they spoke over the phone. After their conversation he had taken a notable step back. She was right, he had gone there for a reason, if they were to give what they had a proper chance, he had to make sure he was ready to close the life he had before. Otherwise it wouldn't be fair, to any of them. Especially to her. He tried to fill Logan's day to the max to alleviate his longing for Elizabeth. Jack had taken Elizabeth's advice and filled their days taking Logan to place Emily enjoyed taking him to. Telling him stories of the things that had began to fade in Logan's memories. Jack made sure that he spent a lot of time with Emily's parents, siblings and his cousins. As great as it was that he had Cody, Becky and Peter, it would be doing him a disservice to rob him of a relationship with Emily's family simply because bit got hard.

"Hey Jack," she answered distractedly as she placed her headphones on to hear him.

"Hey Sweetheart? Am I catching you at a bad time?" he asked looking at the time. Usually at 8 her time she would be back in her dorm room, usually with Auggie as they watched movies or playing bananagrams. Whilst they still checked in at least once a day, most of their contact was through text messages. She too had committed to giving him space.

"Give me one sec," she said apologetically. She looked at her friends and stood to her feet.

"I am going to head on up to my room. I'll see where you guys are at when I'm done?" He could tell that she had placed her hand over the mic but could still faintly hear her.

"Sure Bea. We'll probably be at Costa, let us know when you're done and we can swing by and get you."

"You know I'm not an infant right? I can just meet you guys wherever you end up." She said knowing it was falling on deaf ears. She gave them a wave before releasing the mouthpiece of her headphone.

"Hey, sorry."

"No I'm sorry, I didn't realise you guys weren't done for the day."

"We're done with training, work stuff, we're just hanging out. Tomorrow is a free day so we're going out tonight."

"That sounds fun, what are you guys up to?"

"Dan wants to try out a salsa club we've been hearing about."

"I bet Auggie is excited about that,"

"He was until he got man flu and is now wrapped up in his duvet on an air mattress on my floor."

"So you're going without him?" he stated somewhat obviously,

"Upon his own insistence." She replied as she let herself into her room.

"Hey Jack," he heard an incredibly hoarse Auggie greet him in the background. "Wait, I'll put you on speaker."

"Hey Aug, you sound terrible." Jack greeted.

"Thanks, you sure know how to make me swoon." Auggie replied dryly making them all laugh,

"Sorry, you know what I meant. How long have you been sick?"

"A few days. Nurse Nightingale has been taking good care of me, hence I am throwing her out of this room where she's been cooped up in making sure I drink my fluids."

"Least I could do seeing as I gave it to you," Elizabeth answered without thinking.

"Wait, you were sick?" Jack asked worriedly. Auggie gave her a 'you walked into that one' look as she poked her tongue out at him. Elizabeth took him off speaker and decided to take their conversation out of her dorm room and into one of the private study rooms on her floor.

"Not really, I had a not so serious version of what Auggie has. I think it's the weather change finally hitting us as we've started to slow down," she explained patiently knowing he was about to ask her why she didn't tell him she had been sick.

"I'm fine Jack." She assured him.

"How are you?" Elizabeth asked changing the topic.

"I'm good. I'm working this week so Logan is with Em's parents and family during the day and then Mom or Bill grabs him in the afternoon and we go to theirs for dinner."

"That's great. I know Charlotte's loving having you boys home. Logan asks to FaceTime me as soon as he's in the car with them," she answered his unasked question.

"I had wondered why he stopped nagging,"

"He found a loop hole."

"He's resourceful,"

"That he is. How's work?"

"Busy, trying to get as much done as I can. I need to start packing up the house and I would rather not do that and work at the same time."

"That's understandable."

With the program finishing two weeks before school officially started Elizabeth had planned to meet the Coulter's for a week in Hawaii. Lee had a business trip in Honolulu and suggested that Elizabeth meet them so she could have a proper relaxing holiday before they all started back at school. He would be working crazy hours and it would give Rosemary company. With Jack not having confirmed his own return date to Sydney, there was no rush to go home.

"Lee! Rosie!" she exclaimed excitedly her eyes landed on them at Honolulu Airport. Lee watched as the two girls rushed over to each other flinging their arms around each other.

"I've missed you Bea!"

"And I've missed you." Elizabeth said hugging her friend,

"Hey, I missed you too." Lee interrupted teasing. The girls laughed as they reluctantly released the other so that Lee could pull her into a hug.

"Hi Lee," she murmured into his shoulder. Elizabeth felt Lee squeeze her a little tighter. She knew he had picked up on her distress signal. She rarely called him Lee. It's usually Leland with affection or some other nickname they've managed to give each other throughout their childhood.

"Hey Bug," his simple reply carried much weight immediately making her feel better. Lee and Rosie exchanged a concerned look before leading an exhausted Elizabeth to their rental.

"Nice wheels," Elizabeth stated as her eyes fell on a red jeep.

"I thought you might appreciate it." Lee replied knowing Elizabeth had always wanted a jeep. Lee had taken the top down so they could drive back in the open air.

Elizabeth loved Hawaii. It was one of her favourite places in the world. It was her sanctuary. It was a place where she just felt at home without a care in the world. Where she could sit at a beach all day long with a book or a notepad or her journal. It was her safe place. They had spent the morning shopping for supplies for the three bedroom villa at the resort they were staying at. Both Elizabeth and Rosie wanted to prepare most of their meals. It wasn't their first time in Hawaii and wanted to keep things as low key as possible. Especially Elizabeth. She wanted some quiet time before going back to the busy life she had waiting for her. As soon as school started, it was going to be madness all over again. There were so many things that was waiting for her to make decisions on and she just wanted some quiet time to pray and just be still.

After they got to the villa and unpacked their groceries Elizabeth changed into her running gear and excused herself for the afternoon giving Lee and Rosie some time together knowing that Lee would be working the following day. She ran along the beach and stopped when her lungs burned. She bent over her legs as she caught her breath. She had checked in with Jack as soon as she landed as expected. Their conversations had become more and more limited in the last couple of weeks as he began working full time from Hope Valley. She knew that he was still closing down the house so that he could put it up for sale. At the same time he was trying to spend as much time with his family and making sure that Logan got to maximise his time with Emily's side of the family. He was finally doing what they had talked about. As much as she believed it was what he needed to do and she supported him in it, there was that insecure part of her that couldn't help but feel fear in the bottom of her stomach. In the same heartbeat she felt a calm that defied reason. She had handed it to God, and that was keeping her grounded. She had her moments, and she knew that exhaustion was a price she was currently paying to ensure she stayed grounded. London was a whirlwind in part because she wanted to keep busy and not dwell on their separation. Hawaii was going to be where she switched off and just be.

Lee had found her a couple of hours later laying on the hammock by the beach a short walk away from their villa. Her eyes were closed and her wireless headphones were on. He guessed by the serene look on her face that she was listening to her worship playlist. As he contemplated leaving her alone she had opened her eyes as though sensing his presence.

"Hey,"

"Hey Bug, sorry I didn't mean to disturb your quiet time."

"Happy to be disturbed. I've missed you." She said making room for him on the hammock, "I've missed you too. It's been terribly boring in Sydney without you. I don't think I have spent so much time with your Dad as I have this summer. At least not since we were teenagers." He answered joining her. Elizabeth grinned,

"Thank you for looking out for the old man."

"He was looking after me. Without him I think Rosie may have thumped me over the head from restlessness."

"What? You mean she wasn't pining for me? Well that's just rude." She replied making him laugh out loud.

"I've truly missed you Bug."

"Me too."

"You want to talk about it?" Elizabeth shook her head,

"Not really. I just want to not think for a bit," she answered.

"Fair call. I can well imagine your head has been going non stop since you left for London." He stated,

"London left for very little room for quiet which honestly, was a blessing. I don't know if I would have been as calm had I not been preoccupied."

"You could have gone with him,"

"No, he needed to do this himself. Wherever it leads. However it ends. He has to get there on his own with my complete blessing."

"How do you feel?"

"Honestly? Exhausted. From all angles. From the most rollercoaster of a year, to the wedding of the century, to a whirlwind 6 weeks in Europe, to putting the man I love on a plane not knowing whether he's going to come back I'm tired. I just want to switch off for a day or two."

"In true Elizabeth Thatcher form."

"But of course," she replied wryly.

"So phone on airplane mode?" he guessed.

"As soon as I checked in this morning."

"Timing your check ins for when you know he's working, can't answer the phone or sleeping."

"You know me well."

"All your life,"

"I know it."

Jack had missed Elizabeth's call and listened to her voicemail. She had told him about the rest of her day with the Coulter's. He could tell she was tired and Hawaii was exactly what she needed. He knew the last few weeks had begun to take their toll on her. Whilst she remained supportive and encouraging of him, he knew that doubts were beginning to creep in. That the longer he stayed in Hope Valley, the more she resigned herself to the idea that this would be another chance for him to let her go.

With the exception of shopping and pampering with Rosie, Elizabeth spent majority of her time at the beach writing, running or just chilling. She hadn't spoken to Jack since she had first arrived, she called when he wasn't available and emailed him what she didn't have time to leave on his voicemail so that he felt as though he wasn't missing out or that she was pulling away from him.

It was 7 in the evening and Elizabeth had just come out of the shower after being on the beach the whole day. Rosie and Lee had dinner with Lee's boss and whilst they had extended the invite, she had declined. Instead, opting to venture out of the resort to dine at one of local diners by the beach. She had stumbled upon it by accident on one of her runs and found herself seeking shade and sustenance there when it got too hot out in the sun. She loved that it was bustling with locals who allowed her to just blend in. With a book in hand she headed to the diner. She waved at Luke who owned the Diner. As she walked in, she pointed to the outside table and he nodded. Understanding that she wanted to eat outside be left alone.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" a voice interrupted her reading. She stilled and raised her head. Jack smiled as her gaze met his.

"Hi Sweetheart," after almost two months of not seeing each other it took a moment for it to sink in that he was standing before her.

"Hi," she replied still in shock. He held out his hand to her,

"How about a hug Sweetheart, I've missed you." Elizabeth rose to her feet and stepped into his arms wordlessly. She closed her eyes and breathed him in as he held her tightly against him.

"I'm here," he said softly in her ear as though trying to convince her that she wasn't imagining him.

"I'm here Sweetheart. I promised you I would be, and I am." In that moment it was as though the floodgates had opened and tears began to stream down her eyes realising that until that moment, she hadn't expected him to come back to her. He felt her tremble against him as she kept her downcast not meeting his gaze.

"Hey," he said bringing his hand to her face, cupping her cheek gently.

"Sweetheart, look at me." He pleaded, but Elizabeth refused

"Please," Elizabeth lifted her gaze and the uncertainty in her eyes haunted him.

"I love you. We're doing this." He promised, looking at her right in the eye. He brought his lips to hers and kissed her pouring every emotion he felt in that kiss hoping it would convey what was in his heart.

"I love you," he murmured as kissed her forehead wrapping his arms around her.

"You're here."

"I was always going to be wherever you were going to be. If not in Hawaii, I would have been ay Sydney airport waiting for you. You were never going to arrive in Sydney without me either at your side or waiting for you. I would not have let that happen." He knew that was her greatest fear because it equated to him putting her on a plane, never to hear from him again. Elizabeth nodded,

"Thank you," Jack could tell him being there hadn't quite sunk in as yet, and he understood that. He knew that being in Hawaii, having time to herself, she was preparing herself for the worst case scenario and him showing up wasn't something she expected. His heart hurt at that.

"Are you done eating? Would you take a walk with me?" Elizabeth nodded as he took her hand in his and brought it to his lips.

They walked in companionable silence hand in hand along the beach with the moonlight setting the scene. Every so often he would drop his lips to her temple pulling her closer to him.

"Where's Logan?"

"In Hope Valley with my Mom and Bill. They're going to fly with him to Sydney in a week. Emily's grandfather turned 75 and they were having a celebration and asked if we could stay. I said I couldn't but Logan could. He was going to either go home with Tommy or Mom and Bill. It just so happens Mom was looking for an excuse to drag Bill to our side of the hemisphere."

"Was he okay to stay?"

"At first he wasn't. He wanted to come home. Even more so when I told him I was going to meet you. But he decided to stay in the end. He loves Emily's grandfather and he is enjoying getting to know his cousins so he reluctantly agreed. With Tommy still there I think he felt safe to stay."

"I'm looking forward to seeing him, your Mom and Bill. Tommy too."

"Mom and Logan are beyond excited to be seeing you in a week."

"How did you know where to find me?"

"I don't know. When I got to the villa and you weren't there, I saw the beach and I just walked. Somehow I knew I would find you."

"I'm glad."

"Sweetheart, talk to me. Tell me what goes on in the pretty head of yours." Elizabeth gave him a small smile. She took a deep breath and took both of his hands in her.

"Jack…"


	16. Chapter 16

Apologies for the delay in updates. I've been sick and honestly lacking of inspiration. I've found it very hard to watch WCTH to get re-inspired. I even struggle to watch to short insta-stories that are on my feed. Anyhooooo, please enjoy the update. I know it's short but I'm already working on the next one...I just wanted to give you what I had to let you know I'm still posting. Thank you to those who have reached out on PM as well as those who have left reviews. Be blessed x

"Jack…" Elizabeth began but was interrupted by the ringing of his phone.

"That's Logan, you should answer it." She said recognising the ringtone.

"It's okay," she assured him.

"I want to talk to him too." Jack smiled and pulled out his phone from his pocket and handed it to her,

"Hi Buddy, I miss you." She greeted as she answered his FaceTime call.

"Aunt Bea!!!' Logan Thornton exclaimed excitedly at the sight of his Aunt Elizabeth.

"Hey Kiddo, are you having fun?" she asked knowing he was with Charlotte and Bill.

"Yeah, Grandma and Grandpa Bill took me to the zoo today. I miss you Aunt Bea. I can't wait to see you at home."

"Me too Buddy." Jack watched as the two people he loved most in the world talk animatedly. Logan was unfiltered around Elizabeth, she had a way with him that no one else really did.

"Aunt Bea, can we take Grandma and Grandpa to the Wildlife Park?" he asked excitedly,

"Of course we can. Do you think Grandma would be up for feeding a Kangaroo from her hand?" she asked as Logan nodded excitedly. Elizabeth laughed as Charlotte looked freaked out behind her grandchild.

"Thank you Elizabeth, I'm sure Grandpa Bill would enjoy that." Charlotte said dryly.

"Hey Charl,"

"Hey Sweetie, it's good to see you. We're looking forward to hugging you in person."

"Me too."

Jack and Elizabeth spoke to Charlotte and Logan for a little while. By the time they had said goodbye Jack and Elizabeth had already walked back to the villa.

"Wait, you're staying here?" Elizabeth said confused as she saw his belongings in the living room area from outside their villa

"Yeah, when I told Lee that I was planning to surprise you he upgraded the villa to three bedrooms. Is that okay? If not I am more than happy to get a room."

"Of course it's alright. My mind is just catching up. In case it's been lost in translation. I am really happy to see you. I am really glad you're here." Elizabeth said meaningfully. Jack drew her into a hug.

"I'm here Sweetheart."

"I wanted to believe you would be, and for the most part I did. But I have to admit there was a little part of me that was preparing for the worst." Whist it tugged at his heart, he understood her fears.

"I know, and it's okay. I wish that wasn't your default setting, but I get it. I just want you to keep talking to me. It might not be easy for me to hear, but I never not want to hear what you're thinking or feeling. We're in this together Elizabeth." He vowed meaningfully as she nodded in understanding.

"Thank you Jack."

Lee and Rosemary arrived back at the villa to find Jack and Elizabeth sitting at the back porch, on the deck with their feet on the sand talking. The moonlight's reflection on the calm sea had set a rather picturesque scene.

"Hey friends," Rosemary greeted as they slid the sliding door closed behind them as they walked out.

"Hey, how was your evening?" Elizabeth asked as she smiled up at them.

"It was great. A lot of socialising. I'm so glad to be back with my people." Lee answered somewhat exhaustedly.

"Imagine how it was for me?" Rosemary teased as they all laughed. Rosemary was the most social person so they knew that she would have been in her element.

The four of them stayed up talking well into the early morning. It was nice to be back together even if they were missing a few faces. Elizabeth couldn't wait to see Abigail, Faith, Carson and Noah.

For the days that followed Elizabeth and Jack made the most of their time together. For the first time since they were both in Hope Valley they were able to just be Elizabeth and Jack before things got complicated. It was almost a brand new start. A rediscovery of the two people who were always so drawn together that it was second nature.

Elizabeth gave Jack a few days before broaching the subject of Hope Valley. In truth she wanted him to be the one to bring it up first, not wanting to pry. Wanting him to want to share in his own accord.

Elizabeth usually went for a run early in the morning. She felt that it cleared her head for the day ahead. It was her time with God. She knew that in Jack's last weeks at Hope Valley was emotion filled. She sensed it in her spirit and certainly in his demeanour over the phone. As promised, she was there but allowed him to process however which way he wanted and needed to. It was something they both knew he had to do without her.

Jack woke to find Elizabeth already out on her run which meant she had left earlier than normal. Usually he would be up before she got ready to go. Sometimes to join her other times just to see her off. He knew that she was giving him time to unpack all that had unfolded in Hope Valley. That when he was ready he would share. He found a note and her phone on the kitchen counter.

'Wanted to catch the sunrise. Be out for a few hours back before lunch xE'

Rosie came out of their bedroom and found Jack holding Elizabeth's note whilst having a coffee as though in deep contemplation.

"Staring at it isn't going to bring her back quicker," she teased knowing that Jack was making the most of being with Elizabeth uninterrupted. Jack looked up and smiled,

"I'm going to need to tell her about Hope Valley, the good, the bad and the ugly."

"How ugly is the ugly?"

"Ugly enough. Let's just say Emily's side of the family are not altogether impressed with me rediscovering the love of my life." He admitted.

"Jack, that's understandable. Elizabeth would understand where they're coming from."

"Let's just say they were ready to fight me for custody of Logan." Rosemary gasped.

"Needless to say, Elizabeth and I need to talk."


	17. Chapter 17

Elizabeth had made it about six miles before stopping. She knew she could have kept pushing but she also wanted some down time. She settled by dunes she hadn't yet explored. She had never made it that far down before. Normally her runs went as far as four miles but today she wanted to go as far as she could. She sat by the dunes and closed her eyes soaking in the peace of that moment. The sun was not quite out yet. She had made it in good time. There was something within her that needed a moment. She and Jack had been living blissfully in their own bubble for days but his unspoken of trip to Hope Valley began to hover over them. She knew that they both needed to take some time out to be prayerful about the conversation they were about to have. For the right words to be spoken and moments were taken before reactions. That last one was for her. No running. She had promised. She had promised him and she had promised herself. She stayed at the dunes long after the sun had risen. With her headphones on it was easy to lose track of time. By the time she looked at her watch it was almost ten which gave her time to wander back slowly instead of running all the way back.

She found Jack on the deck, bible in hand. She couldn't help but smile at the kind of man he was. How fortunate she was that she got to do life with him. Love him and have him love her in return. As though he had sensed her approach he looked up. He grinned at the sight of her. On her way back she had passed Luke's Diner to grab them both a coffee. He jumped off the deck to greet her.

"Hey Sweetheart, you left rather early." He said dropping his lips to her temple.

"Yeah I wanted to watch the sunrise. I haven't really done it since the last time I was in Hawaii all those years ago. I felt somewhat led to. I'm really glad I did. It was somewhat magical." She replied handing him his coffee.

"Thank you," Jack took the cup with one hand and slipped his other hand into her now empty one making her inwardly chuckle.

"Are you hungry?" She asked as she rubbed her thumb against his palm subconsciously.

"No I grabbed breakfast. You must be hungry, you've been gone for so long."

"No I'm good for now. I brought a granola bar and fruit with me," she assured him pointing to her back pack that she often took for long runs as it stored her water bottle.

"You ready to talk about Hope Valley?" She asked giving his hand a squeeze? She saw him draw breath.

"Yeah sweetheart, if you are." Elizabeth nodded. There was no point in prolonging the inevitable.

Lee and Rosemary had left earlier that morning to spend the day at the Big Island. An Uber had picked them up to take them to the airport as Lee insisted on leaving the Jeep for their use. Lee knew that Jack was working up the courage to have a conversation with Elizabeth about Hope Valley. He had hoped that Jack would bite the bullet that day as Elizabeth was beginning to get restless.

"How was Hope Valley?" she asked. It seemed silly to ask as they were in touch every day, throughout the day the whole time they were apart. Less so in the last couple of weeks, but she anticipated that.

"In a truthful word, hard." He confessed as he held her hand with both of his.

"I knew it was going to be. That's probably why I avoided it for so long. Elizabeth there has been many life defining moments in my life, as I look back there's you, Emily, Logan but at the beginning at the end of it all, it always comes back to you. To find the love of your life once is incredible, to find a love when you feel as though you let your chance of a love go by was a gift I never expected, but to rediscover the one person who without reason made you feel like the you that you're meant to be isn't just getting another shot, it's a windfall." Elizabeth smiled at his choice of word.

"To say that Emily's parents were unhappy at the thought not to mention the reality of you would be an understatement but you anticipated that. I did too. Let's say they exceeded both of our expectation and not in the good way." Elizabeth intertwined with her fingers with his encouraging him to continue. Jack brought her hand to his lips before he continued.

"They wanted to fight me for joint custody of him. Which they can. They would never win but I couldn't believe they would do it. I have never and would never deny them access to him. We got into a very heated argument. More me and Georgia. Michael has actually been reasonable and supportive. He's probably the only reason why she hasn't killed me yet." He said dryly.

"She was yelling telling me that I couldn't take Logan that heart was a part of Emily. How dare I take him away from them. Then it got ugly," Jack paused not wanting to go on,

"Tell me,"

"She started talking about you, painting you as the worst version of yourself you can even begin to imagine and I got angry. I met her tone for tone but she wouldn't stop. It wasn't until Logan walked in and my heart dropped. I didn't know how much he had heard." Elizabeth gasped horrified at the thought of him having to witness such an ugly exchange between his dad and grandma. Jack began to give her an account of what followed

Logan stood there with his eyes wide open in shock. From shock to furious in a flick of a switch.

"Don't talk about Aunt Bea that way. You don't know who she is. You don't know what she's done for us. You don't know what it was like before she came along. It was sad all the time. Dad, he was sad all the time. We went to Sydney and he wasn't so sad. Aunt Bea, Aunt Abigail, Aunt Rosie, Uncle Lee, Uncle Carson, Uncle Noah, Aunt Faith they helped not make it so sad. Aunt Bea always put me first, she still does. Even if it means not being with Daddy so you don't get to call her names. You don't get to be mean. You don't know her Grandma,"

Charlotte stood behind her grandson, her mind reeling with all the things that Georgia had said and now to hear her grandchild defend the woman he had come to love as his own mother, she couldn't help but be proud. She kept her arm around his shoulders in support and in part to hold him back if needed.

His words stopped Georgia, more than that it stilled her. Her gaze dropped and her stance softened. She knew in that moment she had painted him a new picture of her. That moment showed more about her than the person she was so determined not to accept and whatever misconceptions she had about her.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. Jack," she said ashamed looking up at him with tears in her eyes before turning to Jack,

"I won't say it's okay Georgia because whoever it is, that is not an acceptable way to speak of them especially when you don't know them but I understand. I know that this isn't easy for you and I am sorry that it hurts you. But loving Elizabeth doesn't take away the fact that I loved your daughter. You will always have access to Logan. I would never keep him from you. Our door, wherever it is will always be open to you. You are our family. You always will be. But please let me be clear. Elizabeth is a part of our life. You don't have to be okay with it. You don't even have to accept it, but I will not stand for you to disrespect her in any way. She didn't ask to be in this any more than you did. It hasn't been an easy road Georgia, not by a long shot. I love you but you don't get to weigh in on our happiness if you're so determined to destroy the person who with the exception of Logan has allowed me to breathe in and out the last year and a bit."

Logan walked over to his Dad and wrapped his arms around his waist in solidarity.

"Oh my sweet little boy," Elizabeth said with a sigh wishing he was there for her to hug.

"Babe, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Is everything okay now?"

"I think Logan hearing her was an eye opener. You could almost hear a pin drop when we realised he was in the room. Michael was literally standing between us. I think seeing her behaviour through his eyes shook her. I think if she were to push for joint custody that meant we would have to move back to Hope Valley she knew she would lose him anyway. The kid has spoken not much else but of you. His whole years happiness has been wrapped up in you. In hindsight that's probably what set her off."

"Where did you leave off?"

"I reiterated that door is always open to them. I promised to have him come and visit at least once a year during his holidays but it would be his choice of when and how long. Which was always going to be on the table anyway."

"How do you feel about it?" Jack met her gaze and cupped her cheek with his hand.

"Released," he answered meaningfully. Elizabeth smiled leaned into his embrace. She would be lying if she didn't say that was she was relieved and maybe even a little surprised.

"How do you feel about it?" He asked,

"Honestly, relieved." She admitted.

"I wanted you to be able to close your chapter, your way, in your time. I knew that if we were to have a chance you needed to do that for you. I have to admit I haven't thought farther than that. I haven't allowed myself to think passed that."

"It's a new beginning for us Elizabeth."

"I'm looking forward to it."


	18. Chapter 18

"Hey Charls, hows Hope Valley?" Elizabeth greeted as she answered the phone with one hand and the other unlocking her car door.

"Hi Darling, it's still a little cold but slowly warming up. Am I catching you at a bad time?" Charlotte asked.

"Not at all. I'm just about to head home. My Bluetooth in the car has kicked in."

It had been months since Hawaii. She and Jack had made the best of their time alone in Hawaii. Lee and Rosemary could see the immediate change in their countenance when they arrived back from the Big Island. It was as though a weight had been lifted from both their shoulders.

They were met by Charlotte, Bill, Tom and Logan at Sydney airport when they arrived. Whilst Charlotte and Bill knew how attached Logan was to Elizabeth it wasn't until they saw him break into a run at sight of her and flinging his arms around her as she crouched down to meet his impact that they caught a glimpse of its totality.

Charlotte and Bill stayed for a few weeks before reluctantly heading back to Hope Valley. With Tom deciding to stay in Sydney, Hope Valley just didn't feel home as it once did. Elizabeth knew that Charlotte was missing all three of her boys and she felt for her.

"How's work?" Charlotte asked,

"Busy, but I love it."

"Are you still doing work for Macquarie? Is the project finished?"

"Almost. It's a lot of fine tuning of proposals at the moment so I save that for before bed time."

"You're getting enough rest right?" Charlotte pried gently knowing that Elizabeth made Logan a priority. After school after her normal commitments she made sure they had time together whether it be homework or other activity.

"Yes Grammie, I swear I am. Your first born is really good at making sure I get me time. Your second born equally so to be honest." Charlotte laughed,

"It's good to hear those Thornton boys are looking out for you."

"They are, all three of them." Elizabeth assured her.

"I'm so glad you called. I was going to call you as soon as I got in the car. Jack mentioned that you're looking to come for Easter so I wanted the opportunity to weigh in and say please come. Jack and I were thinking of taking Logan to the Blue Mountains during his school holidays and you would so love it there. If you go, the boys can do a boy activity day whilst we sneak away for a spa treatment and high tea." Charlotte chuckled,

"Well how can I say no to that?"

"You really can't." Elizabeth replied teasingly.

"Alright, let me talk to Bill about dates and we will get back to you guys."

"Great! Logan will be very excited to hear Grammie and Pops are coming to visit."

"You just had to add that in the end?" Elizabeth laughed,

"Well in case I left any room for doubt or second thoughts or reason in general. I thought I would end it with the ace of cards."

"Dirty play Thatcher,"

"But effective," Elizabeth stated with satisfaction.

Elizabeth let herself into her house and changed into her gym gear before heading straight out. Logan had started going home to the diner with Cody. It made the most sense as Peter car pooled with Becky and Cody, having one more wasn't a big deal. Having Logan for Cody to play with made the gap between Cody and his older siblings be not so noticeable. It also allowed Elizabeth an hour or so to train for the half marathon she and Faith had decided to run towards the end of the year.

"Hey Bud, Aunt Bea not here yet?" Jack asked as Logan torpedoed to greet him as he came through the door.

"Not yet." Just at that moment Faith had walked in without Elizabeth.

"Where's your partner in crime?" Jack asked as he gave her cheek a kiss hello.

"Still at the gym like a crazy person. We were only supposed to do a class but she saw the treadmill and it was game over." Faith explained with an eye roll making them all laugh.

"No treadmill for you?"

"No, to my defence and potentially hers I went for my run this morning and she said she didn't get a chance to."

"That would be our fault. I had to go into work early this morning and Jas had a client meeting so she offered to take the little man to school." Jack answered sheepishly.

"She shouldn't be that far behind. She said she'll only run for a half hour. She's just working on her distance. She said you should eat without her and she'll just catch up."

Faith knew that suggestion would be moot just as much as Elizabeth but it was worth a shot. She knew at best they could get Logan to eat dinner but Jack would always wait for her.

By the time she walked in the door Abigail was coming out with their dinner in perfect timing.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. You didn't have to wait for me." She said as she dropped a kiss on her boys heads as she greeted Abigail with a hug.

"It's not a problem Elizabeth. Did you get a good run in?" Abigail asked.

"Yes, short but good. I just may not die at the half marathon." She joked earning a chuckle from her friends.

As Elizabeth sat beside Jack, Logan rose from the other side of her and sat on her lap.

"Guess what Bud?" She asked wrapping her arms around his middle whispering conspiratorially in his ear,

"Grammie and Pops are coming to visit." Logan turned excitedly around and flashed her a grin.

"Really?" Elizabeth nodded as Logan threw his arms around her neck. Jack rubbed his back as he kissed her cheek.

"Finally break did she?"

"I think it's safe to say that she's been bitten by the Sydney bug. With having all her boys here and together I think she realised just how much she's missed you all."

"Do you think Grammie can move here?" Logan asked enthusiastically.

"If anyone could convince her Bud, it would be you." Elizabeth answered as Jack gave a hearty laugh,

"Well played. She is going to kill you." He muttered beneath his breath as she merely smiled with a shrug.

Elizabeth, Faith, Rosie and Abigail sat around their dining table while the boys cleaned allowing them to catch up on their day. The kids had long since gone to bed. Logan was in his pjs sleeping on the bottom bunk in Cody's room. Jack would generally just carry him into the car and to his own bed whenever dinner turned into a late one which they were conscious to only do on a non school night.

"So I'll grab Rosie, Faith and then we will pick you up?"

"Sounds great." The four of them were going for a hike the following morning. They had planned to go early in the morning as Elizabeth had already planned to drive out to visit her dad for a few days. Jack, Tom and Logan had a Thornton boys camping trip planned. As the boys had emerged from kitchen clean up Jack headed upstairs to get Logan. Elizabeth asked Carson to help her with baking stuff she was borrowing from Abigail.

"If you're delaying things because of me, please don't." Elizabeth said as he loaded the pans on to her boot. Carson looked up to meet her gaze.

"She deserves for you to ask because you're both ready not because you're using me as a gage. You both are two of my closest friends in the world. I am happy for you both. I want to celebrate your decision. I love you both. My marital status or lack thereof would never diminish that I am excited for you both."

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yeah Shep, I am. So tell me the plan…."

Jack found Carson and Elizabeth leaning against her car talking. Logan who was growing lie a weed was almost too big to carry. They had been so engrossed in their conversation that they had not heard his approach,

"Do it, it'll be great. It's totally you." He heard her say,

"Are you sure?"

"Shep, of course. No ones happiness should rest on someone else's maybe or could be for all well know," she assured him. Carson draped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple. Elizabeth knew that Carson had been planning propose for months. He kept saying that he wanted it to be special and he was concocting an elaborate proposal but recently it occurred to her that both he and Faith deflected the talk of engagement or marriage.

"And really you two have been together forever." She teased elbowing him gently on the stomach. Carson draped an arm around her shoulder.

"Hey Jack," Carson greeted being the one who saw him first. Elizabeth followed Carson's gaze and smiled at Jack with Logan in his arms. She walked over to them and ran her fingers through Logan's head as she kissed his cheek.

"Goodnight little monkey, I love you. Sleep well." She whispered in his ear as she did every time she said goodnight.

"Night Babe." She said kissing Jack's cheek.

"You going to be okay to get home?" He asked. Elizabeth smiled.

"Yeah, I am taking Lee and Rosie home. Lee came straight from work and Rosie was already here with Abigail setting up for some event tomorrow. You go on ahead and put the little man to bed. You have an early day tomorrow too."

"As do you."

"Yeah but Lee is driving tomorrow to Canberra not me." Lee had also been summoned to Canberra.

"Let me know when you're home?" Elizabeth rolled her eyes. To say Jack Thornton was protective would be an understatement.

"You know Lee and Rosie practically live next door and that Lee would insist I park my car and they walk home together right?"

"Humour me," he replied. After buckling Logan into his seat he turned and pulled her into a hug.

"Yes, I will let you know when I'm home." She promised as she returned his hug.

"Drive safe babe."

"You too. I love you."

"I suspected as much. Rumour has it I love you too." She teased giving him a quick kiss before manoeuvring out of his arms grinning.

"You'll pay later." He teased back as she just laughed and gave him a wave before dragging Carson back inside.

Truth of the matter was she understood their need to want to protect her. That the journey of Jack and Elizabeth had been a roller coaster at best. That until recently she herself never believed that they would get to where she dreamed to be. Whilst she didn't feel that Jack was ready, she wasn't filled with angst about it anymore. There was a peace within her about it. As touched as she was that they would consider her feelings it wasn't necessary.

By the time she got home it was incredibly late. They stuck around well after midnight. She had messaged Jack earlier to let him know so that he wouldn't worry knowing he assumed that the rest of them would leave not long after him. Whilst that was the intention, one conversation that led to another and another after that. She had bid Jack goodnight long before they had headed home. As Lee pulled her car into the driveway the Coulter's decided come in for tea. Which for them was quite typical. Elizabeth loved that part of their relationship. It was constantly an open door.

"So Bea, Rosie and I have something for you." Elizabeth looked at her friends as if they were crazy. It wasn't her birthday. Rosie handed her a gift bag not bothering to answer her unasked question. Elizabeth curiously pulled out a T shirt that said 'Don't even, my Godmother is cooler than yours." Elizabeth paused and broke into a grin realising in an instant what it meant.

"For real?" She asked as Lee and Rosie smiled back at her nodding. Like an excited child on Christmas morning she threw her arms around Rosie and hugged her. She knew how Rosie longed for a child and she was so excited to be gaining another nephew/niece/godchild.

"I'm so so so happy for you guys! How far along are you? Are you okay?" She asked without taking a breath only amusing the Coulter's even more. Needless to say their excited chatter carried over for a little longer until Elizabeth insisted they both change into their PJs and just stay. To which they agreed to.

As Rosie showered Lee and Elizabeth sat on the couch nursing their tea discussing their to do list in Canberra for the weekend.

"Leland, I'm fine." She said as though reading his mind.

"You guys need to stop treating me like a delicate little flower. I am capable of being happy for you guys without falling apart at your news. Your news, Carson and Faith's deserve to be rejoiced and celebrated. Just because I'm sporting the spinster Aunt title doesn't mean I'm incapable of celebrating your wins. That's not how we roll." Lee knew that Elizabeth was always going to be happy for them. But he also knew how much she wanted to be a mom. When they were growing up there was never a time that no matter what they were playing, she would be carrying her doll as though it was her child.

"I know that Beth, we all do. We don't think you're a Delicate little flower. You're like the strongest person I know. We, as your friends and family just love you. We don't want to inadvertently hurt you."

"I get that. I do. But your life shouldn't stop because, well just because. I'm okay. We're okay. Maybe it'll happen. Maybe it won't. For now there's a peace in that. If we ever get to that point, I want to know wholeheartedly in my heart that he got there himself not because he feels like he has to fulfil a promise to me. I'm not saying that there's no expiration date, that I want to live like this forever. For now it's okay. So please don't ever feel you all have to filter on the account of my status quo."

The following morning, or more accurately hours later Elizabeth got up to go for a morning run. Admittedly in part to clear her head. She was truly excited for all of their news and she was very happy for her friends, it was a conscious decision not to shut down and feel a tinge of what they were trying to protect her from. So she did was she did best, run and process as she did. She knew Lee and Rosie would see right through that but it's what she needed and if that was what was going to get her through it unscathed then it just what it was.

She got back to her car just as the sun had come up. She chuckled at the sight of Jack standing by her car.

"You're supposed to be on your way camping." She greeted as she slowed to a walk.

"Well considering you got intercepted last night and I didn't get to say bye properly I thought I would sneak in a quick hug."

"How did you know where I'd be?"

"Drove to your place first and saw that your car wasn't there so I figure you went for a run."

"Nice work detective smarty pants,"

"Actually you're not as mysterious as you think you are." He teased.

"Sure, that kind of talk is going to get you a hug." She retorted sarcastically. Jack grinned and wrapped his arms around her. She had long since stopped being self conscious post run.

"What time did you all get to bed? Did you actually get to bed?"

"I don't even know if there's any point answering that question." She replied.

"Are you boys all packed and ready to go?"

"Yeah, after I put Logan to bed Tom and I loaded up the truck."

"Ahh, hence why you have Tom's car. Well you boys have fun. Check in when you have reception so I know you got there safe."

"You too."

"Bye Baby."

"Bye sweetheart. See you soon."


	19. Chapter 19

With Rosie's news the girls plans to hike quickly morphed into a long leisurely breakfast at one of their favourite cafes by the water. They were all so excited for Baby Coulter and ideas for shower and baby decors were all the chatter.

By eleven she and Lee were en route to Canberra. In the spirit of spontaneity Lee had taken them on a little detour to one of their favourite spots for a short hike. There was a short trail to a waterfall about an hour and a half from the Thatcher residence. They didn't have to be at her Dad's until 6:30 so there was plenty of time. Her Dad had a client dinner that night that was important and he had asked if she would accompany him. She knew he avoided client dinners like these since her Mom died so for him to agree to this one meant it was important. He had asked Lee to come home for the round of golf he had planned the following day with the same clients. As good of a sport Elizabeth was, he didn't want to put her through a golf game too. Which she thoroughly appreciated. She was grateful that Lee was taking one for the team.

"Great idea to detour."

"Well I figure as you didn't get your hike in this morning this is a good excuse for us to visit one of our favourite haunts."

"Absolutely!" She replied as she kept pace with him despite his longer strides.

"Thank you for giving me the heads up about the baby before announcing and waiting to announce it to everyone else after Jack gets back from camping. We both know he'd be watching me like a hawk the moment he heard."

"He's hyper aware."

"You think?" She asked dryly.

"Beth, he loves you. He doesn't like knowing he's short changing you."

"And I say if he asked because of that he would be short changing me."

"He would never ask for that reason,"

"Give him enough reason to he just might. As much as I don't want Carson to wait to propose to Faith I don't want that to be what pushes him to finally ask me."

"Beth, he knows you'll know if that were the case. He's not an idiot. At the same time you can't expect him not to be concerned."

"You all have me wrapped in bubble wrap and whilst again I appreciate it you guys need to chill. Let me navigate this however which way it needs to be."

As they arrived her Dad had come out of the driveway to greet them happily. It had been a couple of weeks since he had seen his middle daughter. He had come to Sydney for a meeting and had stayed with her for a couple of days which they bought enjoyed.

"Hey Daddy," she greeted as she walked into his outstretched arms.

"Hi Ladybug. How was your trip?"

"It was good. We left early enough to get a hike in thanks to Lee." Elizabeth watched as her Dad and Lee greeted each other with such love and affection. Elizabeth was grateful for Lee and who he was in their family. For being the son William Thatcher never had. Lee carried their bags in as she hooked her arm through her Dad's.

"How much time do I have?"

"Plenty. We don't need to leave for an or so."

"Great, I'll leave you boys to it while I shower and get ready."

Elizabeth had purchased a dress especially for the occasion. It was a simple black dress that had an overlay of lace. She had picked simple black pumps to go with it. She had opted to straighten her hair and apply minimal make up. William's eyes watered at the sight of her as she came down the stairs a spitting image of her mother.

"Bug, you're beautiful. It's like seeing your Mom back when we were newly married."

"Thank you Daddy," she said giving his cheek a kiss before running her hand down his back soothingly knowing he was feeling all kinds of bittersweet at that point.

"Shall we go?" Lee suggested clearing his throat. She noticed that he too had showered and gotten changed.

"I offered to drive you guys there so if you or your Dad wanted more than a glass of wine you didn't have to worry. I was just going to do some work anyway." He answered her unasked question.

"Son, you could just join us." Lee shook his head vehemently,

"No thank you, you already have me golfing tomorrow Uncle William. This one is on Beth," Elizabeth smirked in amusement,

"Thanks Lee. Where are we going?" Elizabeth asked as they made their way to the car.

"The Boat House," her Dad answered.

"Fancy."

"Only the best," he replied giving her arm a squeeze meaningfully.

The drive was filled with much horsing around between Lee and Elizabeth, true to form of their history and relationship. Elizabeth caught her Dad with a faraway look and assumed it was because he missed her mother. She would periodically place her hand on his knee in support and as if to coax him out of his reverie. He would smile at her with such love and affection that always made her feel fortunate to have had him all her life.

"It's beautiful." She exclaimed as they pulled up at the car park. She could see the restaurant was lit dimly with candles. The trees surrounding the restaurant were glistening with fairy lights which made for a great opening act for the sun that was beginning to set past the restaurant. Lee helped her out of the car.

"Why don't you go check out the sunset, I'll go see if my clients are here."

"Are you sure?" She asked with wide child like eyes.

"Of course Ladybug. You enjoy it." William said giving his daughter a kiss on the temple before letting her go. He and Lee watched her wonder and excitement as she headed straight for the landing overlooking the water smiling as the sky changed colours before her eyes. It made her think of Jack. How she'd love to bring him there one day. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the remnants of the late sunsets. Autumn was already in play and the late sunsets were almost done for the year. So lost in the serenity of the moment she was completely unaware of anything around her. Lee often teased her about her ability to zone out. He called it one of greatest assets and downfall.

"Marry me," she heard him whisper in her ear. All of a sudden she felt his overwhelming presence as he stood so closely against her. Before she could tell herself she was imagining it all she felt his arm wrap around her middle as he drew her gently closer against him.

"I'm here sweetheart. This is real. Turn around." He said softly coaxing her to face. Elizabeth's eyes began to water. Jack loosened his arm around her as she turned to face him. Without breaking eye contact Jack Thornton went down on one knee in front of the love of his life and uttered the words she so longed to hear,

"Marry me," he repeated knowing she needed to hear it, see it in his eyes that this was their moment. That it was just him and her and that he was ready. Unable to utter a sound Elizabeth nodded tears streaming down her face. Jack grinned and slipped the ring on to her ring finger before standing to his feet to take her into his arms. He held her so tightly against him she could barely breathe. Forehead to forehead, gaze locked his hand cupped her cheek.

"Elizabeth Thatcher, I don't know what I did to deserve you but I thank God every second of every day he gave me you. To say I love you doesn't even encompass what or how I feel about you. From the moment we met my soul was drawn so undoubtedly to yours it scared me. That magnitude of what that meant, what we could be frightened me. I regret nothing more than making you doubt what we had, how I have always felt about you. I promise you not a day in your life from here on out will you ever doubt my love for you. Know that everything leads me back to you. It always had. I love you."

"I love you too Jack." She replied on the verge of ugly crying that she wrapped her arms around his shoulders hugging him tightly against her as he felt her tremble.

"So we're clear, you said yes right?" Elizabeth laughed and pulled back so that she could look at him,

"Yes Jack Thornton, I will marry you." She answered sincerely knowing that as much as she needed to hear it from him, he needed to hear it from her. That she believed he was asking her for no other reason than because he wanted to marry her.

"Good, because I can't imagine a day for the rest of my life that doesn't have you in it." Jack brought lips to hers. A loud chorus of cheer had interrupted their moment. Elizabeth looked back at the restaurant and saw the lights no longer dimmed and filled with their family and closest friends. Her Dad with tears in his eyes, Logan in his arms came to greet them first. Charlotte, Bill and their siblings close behind. Logan threw his arms around them both.

"I'm so happy you said Yes Aunt Bea."

"Me too buddy." She replied kissing his cheek. Jack took Logan from William so he could congratulate his daughter.

"I'm so happy for you Ladybug."

"Thank you Daddy."

"All that talk, all the conversations for how many weeks have been a ruse?" Elizabeth exclaimed as it dawned on her. Charlotte laughed as she pulled her into a hug.

"I still don't know how we all managed to not let it slip all these months."

"Wait, months?"

"I'll fill you in later." Jack promised.

Loud squeals of excitement came out of Rosie and Faith whilst Abigail stood happily behind them. After hugging everyone that was there Elizabeth's mind was still reeling. Struggling to comprehend what had just unfolded. The planning that went into it. In that same moment as happy as she felt there was a part of her heart than sank. As though he had sensed it Jack's gaze met hers from across the room. Wordlessly he made his way towards her and gathered her in his arms.

"She's here Sweetheart." He said softly against her ear. He knew in that moment she missed her Mom. How badly she wanted for her to be there. Jack signalled for William as he led Elizabeth back outside to landing where he had proposed.

"Ask me why I chose this place?" Elizabeth looked up in surprise. She assumed it was because he knew she loved waterfront views but as thought more about it she realised it was a valid question to ask. There were so many other places significant to them that he could have picked and he picked one that was unfamiliar to them both, three hours away from where they lived.

"Why?"

"This is where your Mom told me I was pregnant with you." William answered. Elizabeth tore her gaze away from Jack as she watched her father approach them.

"Back then there was no restaurant. Just some rocks and water but it has always been so beautiful. Your Mom and I discovered the spot while we were dating and spent a lot of our time here. This was our spot."

"You never told us?"

"Your Mom and I were pretty selfish about this place. We felt it was ours. In our heart it was. Towards the end when we would go out for drives this is where we would end up. When she chose to be cremated she asked me to take a part of her ashes to scatter here. I guess what I'm trying to say is that she's here Bug. She's right here happily cheering you on. Proud of your integrity and tenacity, proud that you waited for the man God had destined for you without compromise. Just as I am." Elizabeth walked into her father's embrace.

"There's no shadow of doubt that Jack Thornton loves you sweet girl. He would scour the ends of the universe for your happiness. There is no one in the world I would ever wholeheartedly give my Beth to, entrust her with than him. This was his idea. He wanted to propose to you at a place where you would feel connected to your Mom because he knew how important it was for you to have her with you." Elizabeth nodded as his chin rested on her head whilst her face was buried against his chest."

"Thank you Daddy." She said gratefully as she looked up at him and kissed his cheek before walking up to Jack who had given them some privacy. Elizabeth slipped her hand into his as he intertwined his fingers with hers.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome sweetheart. Are you ready to go back inside?" Elizabeth shook her head and wrapped her arms around his waist beneath his jacket. Jack obliged gathering her into a tight embrace resting his lips on her forehead.

Jack had thought of everything from photos, to slideshows, to the music and everything in between. Most of all he had gathered all of their favourite people in one place to celebrate a moment she had dreamed of for so long. Whilst Auggie, Lee, Jack, Carson, Noah and Tom sat around the bar with her Dad, everyone else was scattered around the restaurant thatJack had booked out for the evening. They had consumed several courses and all on the verge of food coma. Elizabeth and Charlotte were sitting by the fire enjoying the warmth and comfortable high back chairs they were sitting in.

"I'm really glad you're here Charls. It means the world to both of us.

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world my darling." Charlotte paused,

"Thank you Elizabeth." Elizabeth looked up at Charlotte with questioning eyes,

"For loving my son. Without condition, without limitation. For making him live again. For never giving up on him."

"You give me too much credit. You and I both know I wanted to throw the towel in on more than one occasion,"

"But you didn't."

"Can't help who you love right?" She answered with a small smile.

"I love him. That's all I knew. I loved him and as long as God was still in it, so was I."

"He loves you so very much,"

"I know. In my soul down to my very core I knew."


	20. Chapter 20

Logan walked up to Elizabeth tiredly. Elizabeth opened her arms out to him as he climbed on to her lap resting his head on her shoulder. For Logan most of his memories were wrapped up in Elizabeth. He was still so small when they lost Emily that his memory of her was limited. Charlotte had watched Elizabeth love on him as though he was hers. It was one of the many reasons why she loved her.

Jack found his son wrapped around Elizabeth, asleep with his mouth slightly open. Elizabeth's hand absently rubbed his back as she carried on a conversation with Charlotte,

Abigail and Rosie who had since joined them.

"Why don't I take him and put him down?" He offered. Elizabeth looked down at the not so little boy in her arms knowing that he would only continue to grow and shook her head.

"It's okay. He's not quite down for the count just yet. I'd hate to wake him."

"You sure?" He asked as she smiled and nodded.

"Of course." Jack placed a hand on her shoulder and dropped a kiss to her head before rejoining the others at the bar.

"Charls how long have you and Bill been here?"

"We arrived yesterday. Your Dad picked us up and we're staying in the downstairs guest room at your Dad's. Lee's job was to make sure you were occupied so we could slip out without detection. Jack picked us up just after your coffee run before your last stretch home.

"Wow,"

"Your head still spinning?" Abigail asked knowingly as Elizabeth nodded.

"In a good way."

Elizabeth had found Jack outside on the landing alone. The festivities were winding down and everyone was scattered all over the restaurant. Quietly she slipped her hand in his and stood beside him. Instinctively he wrapped both arms around her and pulled her close. Elizabeth leaned with her back against his chest.

"I love you," he said as his voice cracked with emotion. She turned to face him, aware he had barely loosened his hold around her.

"I know Jack, and I love you."

"You're really going to marry me?" She was about to tease but there was something in his countenance that told her he was really asking her the question.

"You bet I am." She answered sincerely. Jack nodded and kissed her pouring the emotions he couldn't articulate in words. She felt the tears from his eyes against her cheeks. She understood the overwhelming emotion he was feeling.

"We're doing this." She promised.

Jack was well aware of how times he had almost lost her. How much pain she had endured because of him. How she could have given up on them on more than one occasion and didn't. He didn't know whether she fully grasped the love he had for her but he was sure going to try and show her every day for the rest of their lives.

"So define awhile?" She asked. Jack smiled knowing what she was asking.

"When you said you were all in. That car ride to Canberra." Elizabeth nodded knowing the defining moment he was referring to.

"I wanted all my ducks in a row before I did it. I wanted you to know without a shadow of doubt that I was free to love you completely and wholeheartedly. That I was ready."

"You told Emily's parents your plans to ask me didn't you?" She asked knowingly. Jack nodded.

"I always had a plan." He promised. Elizabeth placed a hand on his cheek,

"Thank you."

It turned out almost everyone was staying in the Thatcher home keeping their family housekeeper Mrs Hahn very busy. All the kids slept in the entertainment room. Julie and Viola stayed in their respective rooms with their husbands. Elizabeth had Faith, Rosie and Abigail in her room while the men had the basement. Jack, Lee, Carson, Noah, Auggie and Peter were all in sleeping bags in the basement. It was like an over the top out of control slumber party.

Elizabeth went downstairs to the kitchen after the girls dozed off for the night. She grinned to find her father waiting for her with a tub of rocky road and two spoons.

"I wondered if I'd find you here or have to send you a bat call."

"You're not as mysterious as you think you are." He teased,

"Apparently not. Jack has already made that same statement less than 24 hours ago." She replied with an eye roll taking the spoon from his hand. As she went to reach for the ice cream he moved it and pointed to his cheek,

"I forgot, there's a toll fee." She chuckled giving his kiss a cheek. William removed the lid before handing her the small tub.

"So engaged?"

"Apparently,"

"He asked me for your hand in marriage when he came here to meet you after radio silence from Ski Camp." Elizabeth looked up surprised.

"He said he knew that you would probably want to walk away at that point but it didn't matter because he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you and if that meant spending that time trying to convince you of it then so be it. He told me that no matter what he would love you and take care of you for all the days in his life."

"And just like that you gave your blessing?" She teased knowing out of all of them it was her he found hard to let go of. William laughed,

"Very funny Bug. I said he asked, I didn't say I gave it to him."

"Daddy!" She exclaimed horrified.

"It wasn't until that conversation we had at dinner when you told me that you weren't willing to put your life on hold for him. That you loved him but you knew it wasn't right that it was up to God and you had to be okay with whatever that answer would be. I knew then if he was truly worthy of you he'd fight for you. I called him after you and Lee headed home and told him it wasn't my blessing he needed but yours. That until he had yours I had no right to give him mine. You Elizabeth have always been your own person. Whilst it means the world to me that you value that he asked, my blessing would have been null and void without yours first. So I watched him work his little heart out for the weeks and months that followed. After the ball I was sure he had lost the uphill battle. I sure felt for the boy,"

"Wow Dad, did you forget who's team you were supposed to be on?" She joked.

"I felt for him because I know just how stubborn you are better than anyone and when you get something in your head and you bite hard into it you never let go."

"Hello says Pot to Kettle, Apple to Tree." Elizabeth replied

"Whilst I agreed he needed to sort out his life, what I never agreed with was you thinking he just didn't love you enough to fight for you. You were willing to discount everything based on that alone."

"Yeah well…"

"Did you know that Jack drove down once a week to have lunch or dinner with me?"

"He what?"

"Once a week during the time you were apart and to be honest even after he would come down. He wanted me to get to know him for me so when my stubborn hard headed daughter stilled long enough to realise she was worthy of the love before her that I would be in a better position to answer the question I refused to."

"Don't hold back there old man."

"I guess where I'm going with all this is, he's the one Bug. The one I prayed for for you the moment you were born and every night thereafter. Someone who loves my Beth for who she was completely. Not wanting to tame her in anyway. See the very best in her and for her. I could not have asked for a better man deserving of my daughters love and affection."

"You two are besties aren't you?" She said accusingly. William grinned at his daughter and she shook her head in disbelief.

"Does Lee know that he has heavy competition?" She continued to tease.

"Oh good golly, I now have all three of you in cahoots with each other. You finally have sons. Am I going to have to join forces with Viola and Julie?" She wondered out loud in horror.

"Now Beth lets not get dramatic." William answered patting her hand consolingly as she rolled her eyes at him.

"Never pegged you as a traitor father."

"That's a tad harsh Ladybug."

Eventually father and daughter polished off their pint of ice cream and called it a night.

"Thank you Daddy,"

"For what Bug?"

"For being the best example of what's worth waiting for. For setting the standards high. To instilling upon me to not settle. For vetting the man I am going to marry."

"You're welcome honey."

The following morning Elizabeth and Abigail had woken early to make sure that Mrs Hahn wasn't making breakfast alone for the their incredibly big party. As Elizabeth walked into the kitchen Mrs Hahn walked up to her to give her a hug.

"Congratulations little one."

"Thank you Mrs Hahn."

Mrs Hahn had been with their family for as long as Elizabeth could remember. She and her husband took care of the house in Canberra throughout the year and lived in the smaller house in their acreage. Mr Hahn took care of the horses and back in the day the cows. These days there were only a handful of horses left, chickens, a couple of pigs and two alpacas. It kept him busy along with the upkeep of the place. Their kids were a little older than the Thatcher girls but practically grew up alongside them in the summers. Especially Elizabeth who spent so much time with the animals that they were almost sure she would wound up being a vet. Elizabeth roughhoused with Lee and their sons whilst Viola and Julie remained clean and proper at all times. Admittedly all the Hahn's had a very soft spot for Little Beth.

"Why are you two up so early?"

"We didn't want you making breakfast for the army by yourself. There are far too many of us and you're supposed to be retired." Mrs Hahn smiled,

"It's no trouble at all. The old bird could use the exercise. It had been far too long since this house has been full of people. Nothing makes me happier than cooking for you all."

"Even Abigail can't beat your waffles Mrs Hahn," Elizabeth complimented as she draped an arm around the older woman's shoulder.

"I am here to learn your ways," Abigail piped in.

"If you insist," Mrs Hahn handed Abigail an apron.

"As for you, off to the barn. There's a horse that's ready for you to take for a ride." Elizabeth beamed happily. Every time she came home on weekends, summers, or just because early the next day Mr Hahn would have her horse ready for an early morning ride.

"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you two with all the work."

"It's the first day of your engagement. Enjoy it." Elizabeth hugged both Abigail and Mrs Hahn gratefully before quietly going back up to her room to change into her jeans and old riding boots. She slipped on Jack's hoodie that she had passed on the couch. She snuck softly into the entertainment room and dropped a kiss on Logan's forehead. She watched as he stirred slowly into consciousness.

"Aunt Bea," he said smiling as he opened his arms to hug her.

"Hey monkey, you up for a secret surprise?" Logan sat up excitedly and nodded. Elizabeth handed him his jeans, hoodie and high tops. As he changed and brushed his teeth she left a note for Jack on Logan's bed in case he looked for him.

Abigail was kneading the dough for the scones when Mrs Hahn placed a hand on her arm to get her attention. Abigail looked at Mrs Hahn questioningly who pointed at Elizabeth heading to the barn with Logan in tow.

"Horse riding was something she shared with her Mom. They both loved it so much. When Elizabeth was little, before she could ride her own horse she and her Mom would sneak out at dawn for an early morning ride. They would be back before anyone else would be awake and they'd come down to breakfast as though no one was none the wiser, but we all knew. I think it made it more special to them that it was like their own secret."

"She couldn't love that little boy anymore had he come out of her." Abigail stated unnecessarily.

"She's so much like her Mom and Dad that way. When Leland's father passed at such an early age they made sure he knew this was home too, that without a shadow of a doubt that there was a family who loved him and would always be there for him."

Elizabeth and Logan were greeted by Mr Hahn in the barn. Without hesitation Elizabeth hugged the older man who was like another father figure in her childhood.

"Congratulations Little One."

"Thank you Mr H. Mr H, I don't think you've met my little buddy Logan. Logan this is Mr H. He's part of our family. He takes care of all the animals and the property making sure it's in top shape. But you know what makes him my favourite?" She asked conspiratorially, as Logan shook his head.

"He takes care of my baby, Thunder." She said pointing to the black horse in the stall.

"Oh wow!" Logan exclaimed in amazement never before seeing Elizabeth's horse.

"Nice to meet you young man."

"You too Sir," he replied as he shook Mr Hahn's hand unable to take his eyes off Elizabeth's beautiful horse.

"What do you say Kid, you up for a ride?" Logan jumped up and down in excitement.

"I think we may have just found another horse enthusiast in the family."

"Kid's got good taste."

As it was Logan's first time on the horse Elizabeth took it easy. Logan sat in front of her as she taught him the basics. He was so enthralled that Elizabeth knew that horse riding was going to be a thing for him. After their ride she taught him how to groom Thunder. By the time they got back all the adults were awake whilst the kids remained asleep in the entertainment room. They suspected that they were awake long after what they should have been.

Both Elizabeth and Logan came in and washed their hands at the kitchen sink. Her Dad smiled at her knowingly as she met his gaze. Jack wordlessly wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her temple.

"Did you two have fun?" Logan nodded excitedly as he began to tell his Dad all about Thunder. How much he loved him. What a great horse he was.

"Uh oh, danger Will Robinson danger." Her Dad muttered beneath his breath making them all laugh as Elizabeth gave his arm a gentle smack.

"All I'm saying is the last time I had a curly brunette little person talk excitedly about a horse that way I ended up buying her a horse."

"Oh please. You quickly discovered that Thunder was a great babysitter who kept me out of trouble." She retorted.

"That is very true."

"Do not E-N-C-O-U-R-A-G-E him." Jack pleaded.


	21. Chapter 21

A few weeks after the proposal Faith had walked in on Friday night dinner sporting her engagement ring. Elizabeth had since figured out that Carson had already proposed and they refused to announce it knowing what was in the works.

"It's about time." She stated as they looked at her surprised. Elizabeth hugged her friends happily.

"I knew the moment you two started being cagey that something was up. It was either you had already proposed or the other thing." She said to Carson who just grinned at her.

"Busted," Faith chuckled. Elizabeth looked from Rosie to Lee.

"Go on, have at it."

"We're pregnant." Lee announced happily as an excited chorus amongst the boys erupted as the girls already knew.

"By we he means Rosie and they're expecting." Elizabeth clarified teasingly. The boys had taken turns hugging Rosie affectionately.

"You've been quite a secret keeper." Elizabeth smiled up at Jack as he sat beside her. He slipped his hands in hers and brought it to his lips before kissing her cheek.

On the drive home as Logan slept at the back Jack drove home in quiet pensiveness. Elizabeth habitually placed her hand on his leg as he drove as she lay her head back and closed her eyes. Jack's hand covered hers.

"How long have you known about Faith and Carson?" He asked. Elizabeth opened her eyes. She knew he would put all the pieces together eventually.

"Definitively today, suspected for months now."

"And Baby Coulter?" Elizabeth took his hand in hers intertwining their fingers,

"The night before you proposed."

"Did they not announce because of us?"

"Maybe," She answered honestly without providing details.

"I guess with all your planning they didn't want to take away from that. You know how those guys are."

Jack imagined that suspecting an engagement and hearing about your best friends expecting would have been to some extent hard to hear despite how happy she would have been for them when she didn't know what their future held.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't my news to tell." She answered but he knew that wasn't the only reason. He had been scouring his brain for when she would have suspected and been told but couldn't pin point. She had remained the same with him. Which he appreciated and couldn't help but worry about.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I honestly thought you should hear the news from the Coulter's yourself and Carson and Faith were so tight lipped about their news that I didn't want to speculate."

"I'm not mad you didn't tell me. I'm worried why you didn't."

"You don't have to worry." She assured him. When he didn't reply Elizabeth removed her hand from his leg and looked out the window. Jack looked over at her as she turned her body slightly and closed her eyes. She was trying to diffuse the moment before it became an argument knowing that the root of his question was coming from a good place. He took her hand in his wordlessly. As he pulled up in front her house he turned to her.

"I'm sorry." Elizabeth turned and opened her eyes to look at him.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"I just,"

"I get it. I do. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. You told me you had a plan and that was enough. I told them they didn't have to do what they did but you've met our friends their all kinds of unreasonable protective."

"I just hate the thought…"

"I know Baby, I do. I get it. I'm okay." She tried reassuring him.

"We're okay." Elizabeth added placing a hand on his cheek.

"I love you." Jack murmured meaningfully as he brought his forehead to hers.

"I never doubted that for a moment." She replied. That was the truth, even when she doubted he loved her enough, she never doubted he loved her.

"You better get the little monkey home." Elizabeth said as she kissed him. Begrudgingly he agreed not ready to part with her yet.

"I'll see you tomorrow night." When he looked confused for a moment she reminded him of her plans with Auggie. Unbeknownst to anyone else they were doing some wedding planning recon.

"What are you up to?"

"A little brunch, a little shopping, not much. We just haven't really caught up since the night of the engagement so we thought it was long overdue."

"Why don't you invite him to dinner?"

"Are you sure?" she asked knowing that tomorrow night he had planned for Tom to sit Logan so he could have some alone time with Elizabeth.

"Yeah, the more the merrier. Invite Antoni too."

"Why don't you drop him a message. It would mean more to him coming from you than from me."

"I will do."

"See you tomorrow baby. I love you." She said giving him one last kiss. Jack went around to her side and as always opened the door for her. Elizabeth stepped forward and hugged him tightly.

"Drive safe, let me know when you get home safe."

"I will Sweetheart." Jack dropped his lips to her forehead.

Elizabeth took a long bath knowing by the time she was out and ready for bed Jack would be home and Logan would be tucked in. He generally sent a text the moment they walked in the door and called after Logan had been put to bed and he too was showered and ready for bed. She had just gotten into bed when he called,

"Hi Baby," she greeted affectionately.

"Hi you still awake?"

"Surprisingly despite the hour yes. Aren't you tired? You had such an early start thing morning."

"I'm tired of saying goodnight to you over the phone." He grumbled as Elizabeth chuckled. Ever since the proposal he had been more and more reluctant to part with her.

"Well when you're ready to talk dates take out your calendar. You're the one that has work trips scheduled all over the place."

"Elizabeth, you tell me when you want to get married. I can work around work. Our wedding is more important than work."

"You tell me. When do you want to get married?"

"Tomorrow, but I'm sure there'd be a long line of people who would kill me if we got married tomorrow."

"Just Rosie," Elizabeth replied amused.

"How about you? When do you want to get married?"

"I'd marry you tomorrow in front of a judge Jack Thornton, but I would never deprive my father the moment of giving me away."

"You deserve the wedding of your dreams Elizabeth,"

"The wedding of my dreams is marrying you. It always has been." She confessed.

"It was never about the place, or the theatrics, but the someone." Jack closed his eyes, whilst that admission filled his heart it also pinched at it.

"How about October? It's not cold anymore and it's not hot yet." He suggested.

"October sounds good. How about the 20th?"

"That's perfect. How about the where?"

"I'm not sure, that probably requires more research. Let's check out a few places. I want us to find a place where we both just know it's the right one."

"That sounds like a plan. How about on Sunday we go to the earliest service and go for a drive."

"That works."

They talked for a little while longer before Elizabeth began to fade. Elizabeth kept insisting she didn't want a big wedding. At the same time Jack didn't want to deprive her of the wedding she deserved. Whilst it was not his first wedding, it would be his last and her only one.

Elizabeth met Auggie for breakfast instead of brunch. Elizabeth had suggested the early start so she could help Jack prep for dinner for the four of them whilst Auggie went to get Antoni.

"So what did you want to do first? Dress? Invite?" Elizabeth shrugged feeling overwhelmed.

"I don't know where to start. I mean how does one plan a wedding?"

"Let's break it down. Close your eyes. When you think wedding day, what do you see first."

"My wedding dress?"

"Well, let's start with that. Nothing official, just a browse through to see what's out there. Realistically you will have to book an appointment to try the dresses out so think of this as window shopping." Elizabeth smiled at her friend.

"Thank you Auggie. This all doesn't quite feel real to be honest."

"In a wow I'm excited kind or a I'm waiting for him to take it back kind?" Elizabeth swallowed,

"A little of both maybe? It's more like disbelief we are actually here to worried the other shoe is bound to drop."

"After everything you have both been through that's natural. Where's Jack in all this?"

"I'm sensing a little panic from him. Like he feels like he's waited too long. He wigged a little last night when he found out that I had known all this time that Carson and Faith were engaged. That Lee and Rosie were expecting."

"He feels like he's been short changing you all this time. I guess knowing you've had to carry this extra information on your own worries him that you are bottling up how you feel."

"But I really wasn't. Everyone has been 'handling' me and whilst it's coming from a place of love it's unnecessary."

Dinner with Auggie and Antoni was lively and fun as always. Jack was amused by the nonsensical verbal and mostly non verbal conversations between Elizabeth and Auggie. Their friendship had definitely reached a new level of insanity post Europe.

"She's okay you know," Auggie said quietly as they began to wash up as Elizabeth and Antoni cleared the table. Jack raised his gaze to meet Auggie's.

"I know you're worried, she knows your worried but she has always known what she was walking into. She chose you. There's no changing her mind. She loves you. She believes heart and soul that you are the one God had intended for her. Grace is undeserved favour, take it. Keep God at the centre. Love her. See the very best in her. Challenge her to be the very person God called her to be and use the gifts he has given her. Allow yourself to feel worthy of her love because you deserve her as much as she deserves you. You worrying about this constantly only makes her worry. Don't step into marriage with that. Clean slate, new beginnings."

"Thank you Auggie." Jack said hoarsely overcome with emotion. He had known that what Auggie had said had come from God. That out of anyone in Elizabeth's world those words would not naturally come from Auggie.

"Sure man, no problem." With that Auggie wandered back into the dining room to grab more dishes.

After dinner Auggie and Antoni headed home. They needed an early night as they all had an early start the next morning. Elizabeth and Jack sat on the couch and picked up their respective books. Jack opened his arm out for her to slide in right next to him as she snuggled to his side, head on the crook of his arm. Jack dropped his lips to her head as his arm wrapped around her.

"So October 20," Elizabeth looked up and smiled at him,

"October 20."

"Have you told the girls we have a date?"

"No I thought we could announce it together at family dinner tomorrow night. We'd have a better idea after we scout places and confirm location." She answered practically.

"True."

"So is Logan standing as your best man or can we have him as a ring bearer?"

"I think we can have him as a ring bearer. I thought I would ask Tom to be my best man. How about you? Lee or one of the girls?"

"As Maid of Honour?" She asked as he nodded in response.

"I guess it would have to be Man of Honour as its going to be Lee."

"Was this something you both pinky swore and spit in your hand handshake about when you were five?" Elizabeth laughed,

"Maybe, but it's also because from there until now I can't think of anyone else standing beside me on my wedding day. Not even my sisters. Lee has from the moment I was born that person who got me, defended me, sheltered me, in my darkest moments Leland Coulter stood or mostly sat beside me and held my hand. For as long as I remember there was never a time that he wasn't there." Jack smiled,

"He pretty much said the same thing about you when he told us you were going to be his best man,"

"My parents may not have produced him but Leland Coulter has never been anything but my brother."

"So bridesmaids?"

"Abigail, Rosie and Faith? How about you? Groomsmen?"

"I was thinking Noah, Peter and Carson."

"I was thinking Cody and Becky as Ushers."

"You should have Katie and Teddy be your flower girls and have Will as the other ring bearer."

"Simple wedding out the window." She replied with a chuckle.

"Well that covers all the basis. Besides, having your God children in the wedding party would make it easier for your sisters to swallow that you didn't pick them as bridesmaids." He explained,

"Nice loophole."

"I do my best." Elizabeth glanced up and kissed his jaw affectionately. She appreciated his thoughtfulness. Jack his hand down her waist and lay it there as she draped an arm across his middle.

"When I look at our future this is what I see." He whispered as she nodded tightening and hold on him.

"Me too. I can't wait."


	22. Chapter 22

"Hey Aunt Bea, can we go visit Thunder this weekend?" Logan asked hopefully as he got into the passenger seat of her car. He had just finished soccer practice and she had offered to pick him up on the way home from the gym. She smiled as she habitually kissed her cheek upon seeing her.

"Sure, we need to check with your Dad first to see what he has on this weekend in case he is working." Logan nodded. Between scouting for wedding location and their weekend commitments they had managed to frequent the Thatcher Residence further enabling Logan's growing love for their farm and most especially Thunder. Logan spent a lot of time with her Dad learning about their land and horse upkeep.

With Ski camp around the corner and Jack's in the midst of a project they had given him the option to go to Ski camp with her or take William Thatcher up on his offer to have him stay the week. Not at all surprising he had taken the week with William and Thunder. William teased Beth by assuring her that it was he won by a landslide for the most part because of Thunder, to which they were all aware was the case. Though Logan Thornton had grown to love Grandpa Thatcher as much as Papa Bill. In turn Willian Thatched doted on Logan with every ounce of gusto as his other grandchildren. She and Jack were going to drop him off the weekend prior and Jack would pick him up later in the week ready for their holiday with the Stanton's, Coulter's and soon to be Sheppard's.

They had rented a property in Berry that would house them all with plans to take day trips to Jervis Bay and surrounding areas. There were a few trails that Carson had scouted to make sure would be doable for their whole brood including a pregnant Rosemary who was barely showing and the littler ones.

Logan practically jumped out of Elizabeth's VW golf as they pulled into the diner carpark. Elizabeth shook her head. Whilst he was always careful to check before running out, he was always so excited to jump out the car most especially when it was Abigail's Café or Elizabeth's house.

"Logan Thornton you know better," she reminded him as he looked up sheepishly at her.

"Sorry Aunt Bea," Elizabeth made her way beside him and draped an arm around his shoulder,

"You know if I were your Dad I would be giving you the lecture of a lifetime right now."

"I know, I promise to do better."

"You know it's dangerous."

"I do, I'm really sorry Aunt Bea." She kissed the top of his head.

"Apology accepted kid." Logan wrapped his arms around her waist affectionately and she returned his hug briefly. She was well aware that she was wrapped around Logan Thornton's little finger.

As they walked into the Diner Logan had given Abigail and Becky a quick hug before going in search of his best friend Cody. Elizabeth gave Abigail a long and meaningful hug.

"You okay?" She asked as Elizabeth nodded. With ski camp around the corner, so did Emily's death anniversary. Whilst everything was definitely different, the day still brought an unease to her.

"Talk to him Bea,"

"I will. I just don't want this to be a sensitive topic. Another thing he feels he needs to protect me from. He should be able to remember her without having to panic that I may bolt."

"He just doesn't want to hurt you."

"Which is one of the many reasons why I love him so. I want to be supportive. I want to be there for him. I just,"

"Still have that look on his face from last year on replay?" Elizabeth nodded her eyes downcast.

"There's nothing wrong with that. You two have had to work on a lot of things. Just because you're finally on track doesn't erase the feelings you had." Abigail said kindly placing a hand over hers. Elizabeth smiled appreciatively at her best friend.

"Speaking of the man himself," Abigail nodded towards the door as Jack walked in. Elizabeth turned and smiled as he approached them.

"Hey Jack," Abigail greeted as he kissed her cheek before wrapping his arms around Elizabeth's waist kissing her on the temple.

"Hi baby," she said affectionately planting her lips on his jaw.

"I'm going to check on the boys," Abigail excused herself. Elizabeth felt Jack's arms tighten around her around her.

"Hey, want to tell me what goes on in the pretty head of yours my love?" Elizabeth chuckled and turned to face him well aware that his hold on her only loosened to allow her to do that but the moment she was facing him he had drawn her closer to him. Elizabeth looked up at him,

"Not here," she answered as she caressed his cheek. She was going to talk to him about it but Abigail's Diner was not the place.

"We okay?" He asked,

"Jack, of course." As if to reassure him she took his hand and led him outside. As soon as they were out of sight she kissed him. Jack immediately deepened their kiss holding her tightly against him.

"Talk to me," he murmured as he reluctantly pried his lips away from hers resting it on her forehead. Elizabeth paused for a moment before she spoke,

"I want you to navigate Emily's death anniversary however you need to. I want you to know that I would never begrudge you that. That my feelings wouldn't be hurt if you needed to do that. I don't want you to worry about me is what I'm saying." Jack took her face with both hands. He knew that she meant what she was saying, but he also guessed that Emily's death anniversary brought on flashbacks from last year. He would never be able to erase the look of hurt on her face when he accusingly asked her about the albums.

"Thank you." Elizabeth nodded and kissed his cheek before turning to go back in when he pulled her back in his arms.

"You may not tell me all that goes on in that pretty head of yours but my heart knows yours very well. So hear me when I say that I appreciate that you want to make this easier for me but not at your expense. I appreciate that you want to give me the day to navigate it however I need to but Emily is my past and you are my present and future. I will always pay a tribute to Em on her death anniversary for what we've shared but mostly for Logan. However I navigate this you will be a part of it. We are a team. We are a family. You, me and Logan. So we do this together."

"Jack,"

"A family Elizabeth," he said softly but firmly.

"Okay," Elizabeth placed her hand palm to palm with his and interlaced their fingers.

"I love you Jack Thornton. I love our family." Jack's eyes involuntarily watered at the weight of her words. That she embraced all that came with him. How she loved his little boy without hesitation or limitation.

"I love you Elizabeth Thatcher. I can't wait for the day that I get to make you Elizabeth Thornton."

"It's a good thing we set a date huh?" She teased.

"Unless I can convince you to elope right now."

"I'm the one who threw that in and you chickened our on more than one occasion." She reminded him.

"Rosie would skin me alive."

"That she would."

"And you deserve a wedding,"

"See you're all talk. You always switch back so quickly."

"I know. I know. Less than four months and counting."

"It'll come soon enough baby." She assured him giving his hand a squeeze.

"Oh Logan wants to know if we can visit Thunder this weekend. I told him we had to check with you in case you were working."

"I have a deadline so I'm working late Friday but if you're happy to go on ahead I can follow."

"Sounds like a plan."


	23. Chapter 23

On the day of Emily's death anniversary Elizabeth had come to the Thornton home early in the morning to cook breakfast. Jack had awoken to the smell of pancakes wafting from the kitchen. He smiled knowing immediately who it was. He brushed his teeth and made his way downstairs. There she stood in her jeans and one of his hoodies she had long since claimed as hers flipping pancakes as she kept any eye out on the bacon on the grill all the while softly singing one of her favourite worship songs.

"You Elizabeth Thatcher are a sight for sore eyes." Elizabeth jumped in surprise not expecting him to appear.

"Oh my word, wear a bell around your neck next time. You almost gave me a heart attack." She exclaimed. Jack closed the distance between them placing a hand on either side of her as she leaned against kitchen island.

"I love you." He said before kissing her deeply. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I love you." She murmured before she stepped out of his embrace to check on her pancakes. She laughed as he groaned.

"I'm not burning pancakes, not even for that. Besides Logan will be up soon."

As if on queue Logan Thornton and all of his energy torpedoed into the kitchen and straight to Elizabeth.

"Aunt Bea," he exclaimed excitedly throwing his arms around her waist.

"Morning Buddy." She greeted returning his hug dropping a kiss to his head.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Uh huh. What are we doing today?" He asked.

"Well I thought breakfast with two of my favourite boys, then maybe you and your Dad can hang out for a bit while I run errands for ski camp." Elizabeth pointedo to the vase on the table that held two roses,

"That's for you two."

"We sending Mommy roses today?"

"Yeah bud,"

"Aunt Bea, will you come with me. Like last time?" Logan asked, taking her by surprise.

"Are you sure Bud?"

"Yeah," he answered without further explanation. She looked at Jack who gave her a nod,

"Of course," She replied tousling his hair with her fingers affectionately.

As Logan went upstairs to get ready Elizabeth started cleaning up despite Jack's protests. She waved him upstairs to make sure Logan was set. Just as he was about to he walked up from behind her and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her shoulder before burrowing his face at the crook of her neck, Elizabeth reached with her free arm and cradled his head with her hand.

"I love you," he murmured.

"I love you." She replied turning her head slightly to kiss his head. Tom found them ten minutes later in the same position in complete silence. Before he could walk out undetected Elizabeth had spotted him and rubbed the arms that were tightly around her.

"Morning Tom. I made you a plate, it's in the oven." She greeted as Jack reluctantly released her to get ready. He kissed her cheek and accepted the hug from Tom before heading upstairs.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude."

"No intrusion and this is your house too." She said handing him his plate from the over. Tom kissed her cheek,

"You're the best Thatcher,"

"Don't you forget it." She teased as she resumed loading up the dishwasher

Logan, Jack and Elizabeth walked to the end of the pier and just as they did the year before, father and son sent a rose to Emily both with a hand each in Elizabeth's. Jack said a prayer over Emily out loud, in memory with respect and deep affection. When he had finished Logan turned to her and looked up. Without a word she picked him up in her arms as he wrapped himself around her before laying his head on her shoulder. Whilst he was growing so fast, she was so glad she was still physically able to carry him as she knew soon enough that would not be the case. Soothingly she rubbed his back as they slowly made their way back to the house.

After they got home Elizabeth excused herself to run her errands giving Jack and Logan some time to remember Emily. She promised to be back later that afternoon knowing if she didn't they would be hounding her until she was with them again.

Elizabeth ran her ski camp related errands and headed to Abigail's Diner to see her friend. Between all of their commitments seeing each other just hasn't been as fruitful as it used to be as it had been reduced to quick hellos at car pool or interrupted conversations during meals.

"Hey You!" Abigail greeted happily as Elizabeth walked through the door.

"Hey you!" She replied walking into her best friends opened arms.

"Just in time for pumpkin pie," Elizabeth threw a suspicious glance at her friend,

"In July?" Abigail shrugged,

"You just happened to bake my most favourite pie in the world today?"

"Something like that." Abigail answered nonchalantly with a smirk. Elizabeth draped an arm around her shoulder,

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Elizabeth and Abigail enjoyed their uninterrupted afternoon together. Eventually both Rosie and Faith had shown up and the four of them had gravitated to Abigail's comfortable living room upstairs with their coffees, pie and cookies. They ended up baking sugar cookies because Rosie had a craving. All were happy to oblige. For both Abigail and Elizabeth they knew that the extra batch of sugar cookies would come in handy for Cody and Logan who would enjoy decorating them.

After three in the afternoon Jack was messaging her checking in to see what she was up to. He was glad to hear that she was catching up with Abigail knowing Elizabeth had been missing her friend lately. They had made plans to meet at Abigail's for dinner that night with the rest of their crew and she agreed to just wait for them there.

Jack and Logan arrived early as expected. Abigail held a finger to her lips as she tilted her head towards the direction of a sleeping Elizabeth on the couch. Jack had caught Logan before he could fling his arms around her.

"Let's leave Aunt Bea to rest for a bit kiddo." He said softly.

"We baked some cookies you can decorate if you like. Aunt Faith, Aunt Rosie and I can help you get started while we wait for Aunt Bea." Abigail suggested holding a hand out to him. Logan agreed taking it.

Jack sat across the seat from the couch where Elizabeth lay, careful not to wake her. He dug the book he was reading from his back pack with every intention of reading. Instead he watched Elizabeth sleep. There was such peace within her as she slept. One he knew had been hard to come by in the lifespan of their relationship.

Elizabeth stirred and opened he eyes to see that Jack was watching her sleep. She smiled sleepily at him holding out a hand to him. Jack rose from his chair to sit by her on the couch. He leaned down into her open arms as she hugged him.

"Hi baby,"

"Hi Snoozy, did you get a good nap in?" Elizabeth nodded.

"How was the rest of your day?" She asked.

"It was good. Thank you for this morning."

"Of course." She murmured releasing him. Jack sat on the ground and leaned against the couch with his head turned to her as they talked. He told her about the rest of their day and as she listened her hand was resting on his chest above his heart.

"Where's the kid?" She asked affectionately,

"Decorating cookies,"

"Without me? Well that's not cool." She said sitting up. Jack chuckled standing to his feet to hold out his hand to help her up.

"Thank you," She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Jack deepened their kiss pulling her body against his.

"I love you," She murmured before stepping back. Jack understood knowing how quickly they could get out of hand.

"I love you." Taking him by the hand they joined the others in the Stanton's kitchen.

"Decorating cookies without me is a crime." Elizabeth stated as she walked in.

"Aunt Bea," Cody and Logan exclaimed as they ran to her to hug her hello.

"Hey Munchkins! Show me what you made." She replied draping an arm on each of their shoulder.

Jack walked over to Abigail and kissed her in the cheek.

"Thank you," he said softly as she looked up at him surprised.

"For the pumpkin pie," he answered pointing to the remnants of the pie sitting by the stove that he knew Abigail would send home with Elizabeth. She knew he wasn't thanking her for just baking the pie but for knowing she needed it and being there for her.

"Of course. Maybe she'll share,"

"I doubt it. Anything but Abigail's Pumpkin Pie is fair game."Abigail laughed and patted his arm.

"You okay?"

"Yeah?" He answered with a pause,

"You don't have to feel guilty about that." She said softly,

"I have so much to be grateful for." He answered as his eyes feel to Elizabeth who's arms were wrapped around Logan as she helped him steady his hand to write his name on his cookie.

"Then be grateful. Appreciate and Enjoy it. I'm sure Emily would want you to."

"Yeah she would."

Lee and Carson eventually arrived to join them for dinner. After Lee had greeted his wife and unborn child, like moth to a flame he gravitated towards Elizabeth.

"Hey Bug," he greeted with a hug. Elizabeth smiled into his chest and softly murmured that she was okay. Having watched her the year before she knew he just wanted to make sure. While Jack was in deep conversation with Noah he watched the exchange between Elizabeth and Lee from the corner of his eye. He too understood his concern for Elizabeth.

Before dinner was due to be on the table Elizabeth's phone rang and she had excused herself to take the call. After ten minutes when she hadn't returned Jack went to check on her and found her outside leaning against the car no longer on a call.

"Hey You," shaking the cobwebs from her head she looked up and smiled at him.

"Hey, dinner ready?" She asked.

"Five minutes. Everything okay?" Elizabeth nodded.

"Auggie is doing his best to make my to do list for camp is short so he keeps ticking things off my list and he wanted to let me know which ones."

"That's nice of him."

"It's his ploy to make sure I keep going to ski camp." She answered absently as she stuck her phone back into her back pocket. She started walking back towards the diner when he reached for her hand.

"Everything okay?" He asked again. Elizabeth stopped to look at him.

"Yeah sorry, just distracted." She kissed his cheek in reassurance and slipped a hand in his before heading back in.

At dinner Jack kept a close eye on Elizabeth, closer than normal. Wordlessly Carson had slipped his phone to Jack. Confused for a moment until it had become clear what had shifted Elizabeth's countenance. Jack had been tagged on several posts in memory of Emily. Photos of he, Emily and Logan dominated Carson's newsfeed as he was sure it would have Elizabeth's.

Elizabeth knew that the alarm bells were going off in Jack's head that eventually he would figure out why she was feeling out of sorts. She had been on the phone with Auggie talking logistics when she scrolled through her Facebook for the first time that day. As she was hardly on it unless she was tagged she never really looked therefore she wasn't prepared for the onslaught of notifications tagging Jack in the outpouring of love for his late wife. Whilst she understood it, it still hurt like a slap in the face. It wasn't his fault and it wasn't like she doubted his love for her or she doubted their future, it just hurt. Clearly not everyone in his life was ready for him to move on as they tagged and mentioned the unique love they shared that would be eternal.

Her phone had beeped interrupting her thoughts. She dug into her back pocket and saw a message from Charlotte.

"Dare I say do not look at your Facebook today. I have just logged in and if your newsfeed was anything like mine, I am sorry." Elizabeth couldn't help but smile at her future mother in love,

"Too late, but thank you. It's okay. I can't begrudge people wanting to mourn and celebrate Emily. She was the life before me. My presence shouldn't diminish that or her."

"Her presence doesn't diminish yours."

"I know. Thank you."

"Promise me you'll talk this through with Jack. How you feel matters Elizabeth. To all of us and especially to him. I know what your brain tells you but I also know that it hurts your heart. Let your love for each other get you through these moments."

"I promise Mom." She replied making Charlotte smile. She had always loved Elizabeth like a daughter and she felt honoured and privileged that she would call her Mom knowing how much weight that word carried for her.

"I love you sweet girl."

"I love you too."

As Elizabeth slipped her phone back into her pocket she caught Jack's eye. She smiled and mouthed I love you before standing to her feet to help Abigail in the kitchen. Jack stood quickly to his feet to follow her.

"Hey You, what's up?" she asked as she felt his hand on her arm. Jack drew her into his arms and hugged her close.

"I'm okay. We're okay." She assured him cradling the back of his head with her hand.

"I,"

"Don't apologise, you have nothing to apologise for." Jack paused,

"I'm sorry it hurt you." He said solemnly.

"I know,"

"What can I do?"

"You're doing it." She promised.

Once dinner was done, the last plate had been washed they said their goodbyes. Logan had asked Elizabeth to tuck him into bed that night, which she could never and would never refuse. As soon as they got to the Thornton house Logan got himself ready for at the promise of Elizabeth reading to him. They had finished Narnia and working their way through Roald Dahl's books. They were well into Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. She refused to show him the movie until after they read the book and flat out vetoed the Johnny Depp version. By the time Jack had Logan brushed and in pjs she had pulled back his covers ready for him. Elizabeth sat on his bed, back to his headboard with Logan burrowed to her side. Jack had to check work calls and excused himself knowing Logan enjoyed the one on one time with Elizabeth. Upon his return he found both fast asleep. Elizabeth lying beside Logan with an arm securely around him as his sons arms and legs were thrown over his fiancé. Taking the phone from his back pocket he took a photo of the two people he loved most in the world capturing a moment that would live in his heart forever.

Jack didn't wake Elizabeth knowing she would eventually wake herself and waking her would potentially wake Logan so he went downstairs to finish laundry so he could pack Logan's bag for his week with Papa Thatcher. The day after Elizabeth would be off to ski camp and Logan to Thatcher Ranch. He was going to try and get some time with her before then. Carson and Faith had offered to take Logan out to dinner and a movie the following evening to assist with that.

Elizabeth found Jack in his study looking like a mad scientist with multiple screens in front of him. She walked in and saw the whiteboard now covered with wedding details. She chuckled at the count down. With the venue picked, catering sorted out, there were only bits and pieces to be covered. One of which was her dress. They had picked colour scheme so they had started looking for dresses and suits for their bridal party. Jack had wanted Elizabeth to help pick out his suit.

"Hey," Jack looked up and smiled,

"Hey Sweetheart,"

"Kid's out for the night."

"For a moment there I thought you were too."

"Almost. Which is probably why I should head home."

"Tommy's home. Do you want me to drive you home?"

"You don't have to do that. It would mean my car will be stuck here and you have loads of work to finish up in time for the the week away."

"It's not a big deal. I can pick you up in the morning to pick up your car or have Tommy drop it off. I know I don't have to, I want to." Elizabeth sensed it wasn't just ensuring her safety home but that he needed time with her.

"How about you follow me home in your car. You can come in and hang for a bit if Tommy is happy to watch Logan. That way there's no need for backwards and forwards in the morning."

"Sounds like a plan," he replied tucking a loose hair behind her ear.

"Go talk to Tommy, I'll get my stuff together and meet you by the door."

Tommy as expected was more than happy to watch Logan. He too had the onslaught of notifications and understood why Jack wanted to spend time with Elizabeth and make sure she was okay. He loved Emily but Elizabeth had always been like a sister to him. From the moment they met she always looked out for him and ready to defend him when he got himself into a bind.

Elizabeth waited for Jack to park before heading inside her apartment block. Wordlessly they entered her apartment hand in hand. He made a bee line for the kitchen as she went into her bedroom to wash her face. By the time she came out in her leggings and sweater, hair up in a pony tail make up free he had hot chocolate waiting for her.

"Thank you," She said giving his cheek a kiss as he sat in her favourite armchair. Jack pulled her into his lap wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I'm okay. We're okay." She assured him.

"It took me by surprise that's all. Her life should be celebrated and honoured and you were a part of that life. The most significant part." Whilst he knew cerebrally she understood and believed what she was saying. He also knew that it cost her every time. For that he felt helpless.


	24. Chapter 24

Logan had a blast with Papa Thatcher and was slightly disappointed to have his week come to an end. He spoke to both Elizabeth and Jack every day throughout the day whilst he was at Thatcher Residence. He excitedly told them about riding Thunder and how Papa Thatcher taught him how to milk a cow and various farm related things that Elizabeth grew up with. By far his favourite was of course riding Thunder. Her Dad had temporarily taken on cattle for a friend in a nearby farm. He taught Logan about droving.

When Elizabeth arrived at the residence she wasn't at all surprised to see Logan fully outfitted in work boots, a Stetson and flannel. He reminded her of Lee when they were little and he would spend summers and holidays with them. She could swear that the flannel he had on was one of Lee's old ones.

"Hey Farmer Joe!" She teased as he hugged her hello.

"Hi Aunt Bea!"

"I beat Dad here I see." She said noting that Jack had not yet arrived. They had touched base before Elizabeth left Ski Camp, he too was finishing up at the office and heading straight to Thatcher Residence to meet with them. They were staying overnight before heading to their vacation with their friends.

"Yes you did. Aunt Bea will you go for a ride with me?"

"You mean you're not sick of riding yet?" She asked amused.

"Never!"

"Alright, let me say hi to Papa and then we'll go okay?" Logan nodded excitedly as he ran back inside in search of his pseudo grandpa.

"Hi Beth," William greeted embracing his daughter

"Hey Daddy. It seems you have turned yet another city boy into a farmer at heart." William laughed,

"I can't help it. To be fair it only worked on Lee and yourself. Your sisters do not share such an inclination."

"2 out of 4 kids ain't bad Pops."

"Exactly! Are you hungry? Mrs Hahn has prepared scones for you. Fresh out of the oven."

"I helped," Logan piped in.

"Then they must be amazing. I may just be starving. Do you know that Scones are my favourite?"

"Mrs Hahn told me. She said she used to make them with you when you were little. She taught me how to make them too so that I could make them with you."

"She did? That's awesome bud! We can totally make them together." Logan filled her in on all of his adventures whilst he was away. Elizabeth listened intently as though she had not heard it throughout the week. As she entered the kitchen Mrs Hahn pulled her into a big hug,

"Beth it's so good to see you."

"You too Mrs Hahn, thank you for looking after my little monkey all week. I hear you've taught him your secret scone recipe."

"It was a pleasure. It's been a very long time since this house has had children running around it. I think we have all missed it. I also thought it was time to pass on the tradition to another generation." Elizabeth smiled and kissed her cheek lovingly.

"You're the best. Fresh cream and strawberry jam?" She asked hopeful.

"Just as you like it little one."

Mrs Hahn enjoyed spoiling Elizabeth. She loved that Elizabeth enjoyed the simple things in life. Growing up when her sisters were boy crazy, hanging with friends, longing to go to malls, Elizabeth spent much of her time on the land. If not out in the barn or the animals she was in the kitchen watching her mother prepare meals or bake with Mrs Hahn. The Hahn's didn't have any daughters so Mrs Hahn had taught Elizabeth all of her secret recipes.

Elizabeth split a scone with her Dad as they had tea together. Logan had long since left them to join Mr Hahn back in the barn to prepare a horse for Elizabeth to ride. As Logan had been riding Thunder all week she had told him she could continue to ride him. Her Dad offered her his beloved horse Sirrocco who was quite fussy with anyone riding him. The only two he felt comfortable with was William and Elizabeth.

"You may have lost Thunder to Logan, but you can have Sirrocco sweet pea." Her Dad said patting her hand.

"It's okay. I'm happy to share. I'm glad he loves riding and that he and Thunder have grown a fondness for each other. I wish I could ride Thunder more at least this way he's getting the ride time."

"I think that little boy makes him feel young again."

"I'd say that little boy isn't just making Thunder feel younger," She teased as he chuckled.

"Admittedly having him around has added a spring to my step. He definitely keeps me on my toes."

"I'm glad Daddy."

"In case it required clarification, you're no chopped liver." Elizabeth laughed and planted a kiss on her fathers cheek.

"It didn't but now your need to clarify it makes me wonder."

"How are things?" He asked. He knew it was Emily's death anniversary just before ski camp and just before Jack had dropped off Logan.

"They're okay. It was a little awkward towards the end of the day of the anniversary and a little the day after. I think Jack felt he had to over compensate somehow and he really didn't need to. It was probably good I headed to ski camp or he may have driven me crazy with all the hovering."

"He worries."

"You all worry too much, but I appreciate it."

"That boy knows you use your Mother and I as a measuring stick. He's worried that you believe Emily to him was your mother to me."

"Don't hold back Dad."

"Am I wrong?" He asked gently. Elizabeth looked up.

"Am I wrong?" She challenged.

"Oh Beth," he said cupping her cheek with his hand.

"You hold your mother and I up on a pedestal but we were by no means perfect. We loved each other immensely but it's not like we have never hurt each other or done wrong to each other."

"Dad I don't doubt you weren't perfect. All I know is that no matter what I watched you love her enough and she love you enough. That at the beginning and end of it all you loved each other enough. Above all, with the exception of God you loved each other most."

"And what you doubt that's the case with you and Jack?"

"He loved her the most didn't he? He chose her. He married her. If she were alive it would still be her."

"Hey, where is this coming from? You reconciled this. Isn't this why you agreed to marry him. To start a new. Because this is the beginning of the rest of your life. Do you not think you love each other enough?"

"I love him with all my heart Dad. I have always loved him with all my heart. It wasn't enough before,"

"Elizabeth Thatcher is this why you keep putting off choosing a wedding dress? Because what? You think he'll change his mind? That he'll realise he made a mistake?" He said incredulously. Elizabeth's eyes filled with tears.

"Oh lady bug," William Thatcher's heart went out to his middle daughter gathering her in his arms.

"I'm so scared Daddy. I love him and I know he loves me. I truly do. I just don't know if I'm enough."

"You my darling girl are more than enough. You are above and exceedingly more than he could ever have hoped for and imagine."

"Says my father," Elizabeth said dryly.

"Says the man who raised you and watched you grow into the incredible person we always knew you would be."

"I miss Mom," she whispered into his chest. William held her firmly against him and dropped his lips to her head.

"I know Baby girl. I wish she were here too. She would know exactly what to say."

"You're doing pretty good."

"If your Mom were here right now she'd tell you she was proud of you. She'd also tell you to be brave, that you've got this. That you are more than enough and because she's your Mom I know you'd listen."

"I just want to hear her voice again. It's been so long that I think I've forgotten."

"Sometimes that's our hearts way of letting us heal, by allowing memories to fade." Elizabeth cried silently in her father's arms.

"Instead of Sirrocco why don't you ride Blaze. It's been awhile since she's been ridden." Blaze was her mother's horse and wordlessly she was off limits.

"It's time and it'll be good for you both." Elizabeth knew the magnitude of what he was offering.

"Your Mom wouldn't have it any other way."

"Go get ready. I'll take Logan out for a bit and meet you along the trails. Take some time. You need it honey." Elizabeth nodded and went to get changed.

By the time she had gotten to the barn William and Logan had already gone and there stood her mother's beautiful thoroughbred Blaze ready for her. Elizabeth walked into Mr Hahn's opened arms,

"It would mean the world to her that you're riding Blaze."

"Thank you." She said softly taking the reigns as she easily swung herself on to Blaze. Elizabeth leaned forward as she rubbed her hands along his mane.

"Hey Girl. You ready to do this? You and me." Blaze whimpered a little as though she understood. Elizabeth wrapped both arms around the horse laying her head close to hers.

"I miss her too." Elizabeth closed her eyes. A myriad of memories came flooding in. Of the times she spent with her mother riding. Mr Hahn had given them some privacy. After a few moments Elizabeth gave Blaze's middle a gentle squeeze and they were off. Knowing it had been awhile Elizabeth didn't want to push her too hard too fast. As she warmed up Elizabeth let Blaze take her in her own speed. Just like Elizabeth it was as though she needed to break free and just ride. So they did.

William who had taken Logan to check boundary fences saw his daughter from a distance. There was a peace that always overcame her when riding. He guessed it was where she felt closest to Grace. William tapped Logan on the shoulder and pointed to Elizabeth who was riding hard and fast.

"Wow,"

"Don't get any ideas kid."

"Oh Papa,"

"I'm serious. Your Aunt Bea is going to get in big trouble for riding that way."

"Okay Papa."

When Jack arrived Mrs Hahn had told him that they had all gone for a ride which was not at all a surprise to him. He decided to wait in the barn for their return. He knew that from the loft of the barn he could probably make them out. He brought the coffee that Mrs Hahn had handed him and sat on the loft window with his legs hanging out. He immediately spotted William and Logan who were riding along the boundary in a slow cantor. He scoured as far as his eyes would take him for Elizabeth and in a distance all he could see was a little blur that was moving so incredibly fast. He knew that she was an expert rider but despite the speed there was a grace in her posture. In that moment it was hard to see where Blaze began and where she ended as they moved as one. There was a serenity and peace within her that he had never seen before. There was no trace of what had transpired between her and her father.

Elizabeth was aware that how she felt lay on her. That she knew that Jack loved her and she didn't disregard the enormity of that but it was her insecurity that led her back to where she had been since Emily's death anniversary. She didn't want him to think she doubted his love for her, she didn't. She was afraid of the enormity of her love for him. Elizabeth and Blaze rode hard and fast for an hour. By the time they had both slowed down her heart felt calmer and her mind quietened.

As promised she caught up to Logan and her Dad as they meandered along the their property.

"Hey Kid, you still up for a ride? Or would you like to learn a few tricks?"

"Tricks please." Logan said excitedly.

"Let's head back and see if Mr Hahn can set up some barrels and some jumps for us."

"Really?"

"Sure, we might need to ask your dad first though." She said realising it wasn't really her call.

"I can show you a few things but I may have to borrow Thunder for that. I'm not sure Blaze here would be up for that." Blaze made a noise as if to support that statement making them all laugh.

Jack made his way down from the loft as he saw them ride back in. He smiled at the joy on his sons face. It was hard to miss that he loved being at the Thatcher Residence.

"Dad!" Logan greeted excitedly as he saw him. Jack had reached for Thunder's reign as he got closer to help Logan down from the horse. Logan literally jumped into his father's arms in excitement. Elizabeth and William exchanged a smile. Elizabeth leaned forward and hugged Blaze.

"Thank you girl. It was just what I needed." She hopped down from her back and made her way to stroke the horse's face and present the apple in her hand. Blaze nuzzled her hand then her neck affectionately. Jack watched the exchange between the horse and Elizabeth. It then dawned on him who's horse she was riding.

"Beth I think both Blaze and your Mother have spoken. Blaze is now yours." Her father said tearfully as he kissed the top of her head. Elizabeth's eyes filled with tears.

"Thank you Daddy." She replied as she hugged Blaze once more

"Cool her down and get her settled for the night. We will set up the training circle so you can go through exercises with Thunder." Elizabeth nodded and gave Jack a quick hug before heading towards the barn.

"Give her a few minutes." William said meaningfully as Jack nodded, his eyes following his fiancé.


	25. Chapter 25

Just as he was told Jack waited a few minutes before following Elizabeth into the barn. He had been worried that Emily's death anniversary would be a set back for them and whilst she remained engaged he worried for what went on in her mind. He found her brushing down Blaze as she spoke softly to her. He watched Blaze brought her face down to Elizabeth's, forehead to forehead,

"Thank you for today. I really needed it. I miss her too." Elizabeth sensed his presence before she looked up. She took a breath before looking up to meet his gaze. She could see the worry behind them.

"Hi Baby." She greeted as he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Good ride?"

"Best one in awhile."

"I saw you out there."

"Watch me get in trouble for that later." She replied with a smirk.

"Talking from experience."

"If I had a dollar…my Mom would always pretend to scold me but she always had a little smile in her eye. She was exactly the same when it came to riding. She knew enough that she had to at least pretend to be mad because my Dad is always about safety."

"You two sound like a handful."

"We really were. Viola and Julie were so similar which is why they butted heads so often but they were also close because of it. Despite what they say. I was always the do anything but what was expected. Instead of dresses I lived in shorts. Instead of malls I'd be on a horse checking fences with my Dad or Mr Hahn or in the kitchen with my Mom or Mrs Hahn. Instead of boys I was hanging out with Thunder and Lee when he moved in full time. I think because of that I have the relationship I have with my Dad and when she was around my Mom. I was fortunate enough to be with them a lot. I was the child that would third wheel to their adult outings. I was part of my Mum's book club with her friends the moment I could read. In a lot of ways she and I were kindred spirits. So when she got sick, it was really hard not to be here. I felt like I should have insisted. Like I should have fought harder, but I didn't."

"From what your Dad tells me she put her foot down on that one."

"I should have too. I was selfish. Deep down as much as I wanted to come back and be here I wasn't ready. She knew that which is why she wouldn't let me come home."

"It's what parents do for their kids. You'd do the same for Logan and the rest of our kids in a heartbeat." Elizabeth smiled,

"I miss my Mom a lot today." She said somewhat unnecessarily.

"I know. I'm sorry sweetheart."

Elizabeth and Jack came out of the barn hand in hand. She walked up to Thunder with a carrot, which was his favourite treat.

"What do you say we have some fun out there boy?" Thunder nuzzled Elizabeth's shoulder. For the next hour Elizabeth went through a few exercises with Thunder, obstacle courses and jumps as Logan watched in awe.

"Apparently she could get cooler," Jack joked turning to William.

"She's the coolest they come."

"I wholeheartedly concur." William looked over his shoulder at Jack. There was no denying he loved his little girl. Whilst choosing not to pursue her would probably always be a sore topic, there was no doubt in his mind and heart that Jack Thornton would lasso the moon if it made Elizabeth happy. Jack met William's gaze,

"Everything okay?"

"Just keep loving her the way you do."

"You have my word."

"I know Son."

With Jack's permission Elizabeth ran Logan through the obstacle course, minus the jumps. She knew that would come in time. As Logan got cleaned up Elizabeth slipped her hand into Jack's.

"Take a walk with me?" She asked. Jack brought their joined hands to his lips.

"To the ends of the moon if you wanted me to."

"You're a sap Jack Thornton but I love you." She teased as she led him down the paddock. They walked in comfortable silence. Jack waited until she was ready and when she was, she began.

"I know you've been worried since the anniversary, though I'm pretty sure you're always worried but especially this last week. I would be lying if I told you that it hasn't made an some sort of an impact. Despite what my head says or even what my heart knows it will always hurt. I have to learn to be okay with that and you need to learn to let me be okay with that because I just have to be. I have loved you from the moment I met you. I think we have well established that. I also know that you loved me. I guess timing is everything and it wasn't on our side and if it were there would be no Logan and that's unacceptable." She was beginning to ramble so she took a breath.

"It's not you but me. It's my own insecurities that I'm working through. You are doing everything you could possibly do and it helps. It does. Some days I struggle with you having a life before and the reality that had she not died you would be living the life you chose." She didn't need to add the life he chose without her to know that's what she meant. He felt the ache in his heart at the knowledge of how much that hurt her and continues to hurt her.

"I feel like I wasn't enough before and then what makes me enough now?" She asked brokenly releasing his hands from hers as she looked down at her feet ashamed at the admission. Jack felt like his heart was ripped out from his body. He cupped her face with both hands so that she could see his eyes as he spoke tearfully and meaningfully,

"Hey, it was never about you being enough. It was never about not loving you enough. Sweetheart, it just wasn't the right time. We were so young. I wasn't sure of my own mortality at the point and I didn't want to drag you into that if it meant you were going to lose me anyway. I was a coward." Jack pulled her into his arms and cradled her head against his chest.

"You Elizabeth Grace Thatcher are more than enough. You are exceedingly above and beyond I could ever hope for or imagine. More than I deserve." Elizabeth closed her eyes and allowed his words to sink in. Moments later they head Logan call them from the house. Elizabeth stepped out of his embrace and gave him a small smile.

"We should go,"

"We're not done talking okay?"

"Okay," She replied standing on her toes to kiss his cheek.

After dinner whilst Elizabeth put Logan to bed William and Jack went into the study on the pretence that William needed Jack's help with his laptop. William poured whiskey in two glasses and handed one to Jack.

"Relax Son, you're not here for IT support." Jack chuckled and sat down on the opposite arm chair to William's.

"She's worries that if she wasn't enough before, why would she be enough now. Does she think I would change my mind? That I could ever walk away from her. After everything?"

"It's not that. Well not really. You're the biggest thing that's ever happened in her life. Saying yes to you is the biggest decision she has ever made. The one person that would celebrate that decision the hardest, the person that would be happiest to share this moment with is not around anymore. The person that knew how to talk her out of her insecurities isn't here to tell her to snap out of it so she reverts to her default setting and question all of her decisions. You never got to meet her Mother but Grace was hands down an advocate for you. She knew that there was something about you that drew out the precocious little girl who was content to be overshadowed by what what louder, shinier and she thought prettier. Very few saw past the quiet little girl. You did."

"All I see is her. In everything that is good. In everything I can be. In the very best of what our life could be. It starts and ends with her."

"Be patient. Her Mom never got to fully vouch for you and whether she admits it or not that's why she's missing her. Just love her through it. She'll get there. I promise."

"I'm not going anywhere."

As Elizabeth came down the stairs in search of Jack she heard the doorbell. When she opened the door she was surprised to see her Mom's best friend on the other side.

"Aunt Aurora! What are you doing here?" Aurora lived not far from the Thatcher's. When Grace had first died Elizabeth had naturally gravitated towards their house and Aurora in particular for she with the exception of her father was her Mother's friend and confidant. Growing up she was like a second mother to Elizabeth. As time past Elizabeth saw Aurora less and less. It became painfully obvious that one reminded the other too much of what they had lost and found hard to reconcile. So Aurora looked out for Elizabeth from a distance. Checking in by text and phone mostly. Elizabeth knew she was still there but understood only too well the bittersweet that lingered.

"Your Dad said you were coming home this weekend on your way to vacation. There's something I've been wanting to give you for awhile and I was just waiting for the right time. I'd been praying about it for months, for the right time since you told me you got engaged and this week I knew it was time. Hence I asked your Dad if you were around."

"What is it?" Aurora ducked back outside to grab the box. Elizabeth gasped when she realised what it was.

"Your Mom asked me to hold on to this for you. She said I would know for sure if I'm supposed to pass it on. I know in my heart I'm supposed to. So here you go Beth." Elizabeth's eyes filled with tears and her hands shook as she opened the box carefully revealing her mother's wedding dress. It was beautiful in the pictures but right then, she knew it was what she wanted to wear on her wedding day. As she ran her hand carefully through it she found an envelope between the creases addressed to 'My Beth,". In that moment an overwhelming grief overcame her. A quiet groan of agony escaped her mouth as she covered it with one hand while the other held the envelope shakily. Aurora still holding the box led Elizabeth to the bottom steps to sit down. William and Jack had come out of the study after hearing the door bell. Jack rushed over to Elizabeth and crouched down to face her,

"Breathe sweetheart. Focus on me. Breathe." He said clutching her face with one hand while the other held one of her hands to his chest in hope to slow the beats to her heart in time with his.

"Come on Baby breathe, in and out." He repeated calmly knowing she would hyperventilate if she didn't. Elizabeth locked eyes with Jack and willed herself to do as he asked. With tears in her eyes her heart beat slowed and her breathing normalled. Wordlessly she catapulted into his arms as she clung tightly to him.

"I got you babe. I got you." He whispered softly in her ear.

"I'm sorry." She apologised.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He assured her hugging her tightly. After a few minutes she looked back at Aurora.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome Sweetie." Elizabeth looked at her father,

"Did you know?" She asked as he shook his head.

"I haven't been brave enough to venture into her closet. I thought all this time that her wedding dress was in the attic. I had forgotten all about it or I would have offered it to you right away. She knew what it would mean to you. She knows how much you love that dress. The amount of times we caught you staring at our wedding picture in awe of that dress."

"When she got the final diagnosis when she knew for sure that there was no fighting it she asked me to come over. She asked me to take her wedding dress home and keep it for you. That she will let me know when it's time. She kept her end of the bargain."

Aurora didn't stay long knowing Elizabeth needed to process. She promised to be in touch and reminded Elizabeth that she as still there for her. William had offered to take the dress to her room to give her some time with Jack. She held the envelope with both hands as Jack sat quietly beside her. He wanted to give her some space so he kissed the top of her head before standing to his feet. Elizabeth grabbed his hand.

"Stay?"

"Of course," Jack sat back down on the couch beside her wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close to him. Elizabeth lay her head on the crook of his arm and handed him the letter,

"Will you read it out loud for me?"

"Sure sweetheart." Jack kissed her forehead before opening the envelope to read the letter,

"To my beloved Beth,

If you're reading this I guess that time has come. It pains me to know that I won't physically be there to have heard the news from your excited mouth telling me you're getting married. Though I'd like to think your fiancé would have enlisted our help in his scheming.

It thoroughly sucks that I won't be there to hug you and congratulate you, at least in person though I know in my heart that I will always be with you.

As I am not there to offer you my sage advice in real time I wanted to write it down. Mostly because we both know how stubborn you are and how you need to be told over and over again when it comes to certain things and well this letter allows you to be told over and over again. So read this whenever you have to.

The last few years I would imagine would have been some of your toughest. I'm sorry about that. But I firmly believe you my darling girl remained to soar even if my death had clipped your wings a little.

Elizabeth, I have prayed for that man you are going to marry from the first moment I knew of your existence and all the days that followed. He would embody Love that is Patient and Love that is Kind because you my darling girl deserve that and more.

The road to true love is seldom easy but always worth it. We all go through doubts, there will also be fights, but don't let that diminish what God has brought together. It would be easy to look at things as black and white, but baby rarely if anything is black and white, least of all love.

Ask yourself the question, is this who I want to spend the rest of my life with? When I open my eyes to see beyond tomorrow is it him I see by my side. Can I imagine a life without him in it?

Complications unfortunately are a part of life and it would be easy to get caught up in semantics. But if you truly love each other the semantics don't matter.

If there is one thing I ask of you my Baby Girl is that above all else, be kind to yourself. Accept that you deserve the very best God has to offer. That you my darling girl have never had to be any thing more than who you were. That your Dad and I would have been proud of you whatever you chose to do because we are proud of the person you grew up to be.

You are beautiful, smart, witty, compassionate, driven by your love of people, forgiving and you see the very best in anyone you come across. You sweetheart are above and beyond anything anyone could have ever hoped and prayed for. I'm not saying that because I'm your Momma but because I have watched you become that incredible person I always knew you would be. Most importantly, you my lady bug are more than enough.

I love you more than the whole wide world and back again. I am always with you.

Always Always."


	26. Chapter 26

Jack smiled as Elizabeth slipped out of the room with Abigail, Faith and Rosie knowing what she was about to do. Within minutes he heard an excited squeal from Rosie. Lee looked up met Jack's gaze and grinned. He too knew what Elizabeth had planned to reveal.

They had arrived at their AirBnB just after lunch. The boys had unloaded the cars while the girls unpacked the food supplies for their week at the house. Elizabeth had asked Jack to discreetly put her mother's wedding dress into the room she would be sharing with Faith and Becky.

Lee and Rosemary had met them at Thatcher Residence so that they would only be taking Jack's truck. Lee had caught Elizabeth after her pre dawn ride with Blaze. He had tears in his eyes as she rode back in. He loved her mother as his own and knew only too well just how much Elizabeth missed her mother.

"For a moment there I thought that was Aunt Grace. I always knew that you resembled her, but on that horse." He paused with emotion,

"Riding Blaze makes me feel like she's still here."

"Well with the exception of your Dad and you guys she loved nothing more than Blaze. Some days I'm sure she loved her more than Viola and Julie." Elizabeth laughed.

"Dad gave her to me yesterday. With Thunder practically Logan's he was ready to give me Sirrocco but changed his mind and gave me her horse."

"Beth, there's no one else in this world she would rather have that horse go to. I'm surprised he hadn't done it sooner."

"I don't think he was quite ready to part with another piece of her."

"That's understandable."

"Aunt Aurora gave me her wedding dress last night. She said that when Mom knew she wasn't going to make it she asked her to pick it up and hold on to it for me. That she'll let her know when it was time to give it to me."

"Wow,"

"Yeah, in true Grace Thatcher form there was an epic letter attached to it."

"In perfect timing I would imagine."

"Do you expect anything less?"

"Did it help?" He asked knowing she was struggling even if she had tried her best to hide it.

"Yes. It was just what I needed. I mean it's not a magic wand that miraculously fixed everything but it helped. I miss her. Some days so much I can't breathe. She never got to meet the man I'm going to marry. She's never going to get to spoil Logan. Or be there if or when i give birth. On Emily's death anniversary, I was doing so well. Until the flood of posts and it all went down hill from there. I needed to hear her voice. The voice of reason as always and I couldn't hear her. For the first time I couldn't hear her. I realised it's because he was part of the life after her. Well the most important parts anyways. When she was still around he was just the guy who didn't make a move. I guess I wish she got to see this part too."

"She did. She's always watching over you. Why do you think that letter came now?" Elizabeth smiled,

"Again in true Grace Thatcher form."

The girls emerged from the room a half hour later. All still a little misty eyed from the story she had told them. Elizabeth caught Jack's eye as she looked up. She smiled widely at him and made her way to where he stood of by the kitchen counter. His one arm had engulfed her to his side. She closed her eyes for a moment and relished in the comfort and safety his presence provided.

"They're officially excited?" He stated,

"Yes because they were well subdued up to this point," she joked making him chuckle.

"You boys taking the Little's fishing?"

"Yes Abigail has set a challenge for us to catch tonight's dinner."

"Don't worry if you catch nothing she has lasagne that can be thrown in the oven."

"I don't know if I'm comforted or insulted at the fact that you guys have a back up plan." Elizabeth tilted her head to the side,

"You know very well that we would never insult your ability to fish."

"Alright before this ends with you mad at me I'm going to concede." Elizabeth smirked.

"You're hilarious Thornton. You should probably get all your gear together."

"You're probably right. Take a walk with me after dinner?" He asked softly as he kissed her temple.

"Of course. Be careful out there. Stay outside the water." She teased. Jack wrapped both his arms around her and started tickling her,

"Okay stop! I take it back. You're the greatest fisherman in the universe, why would you fall into the lake." She squealed and gasped for air. Taking mercy on her he stopped but kept his arms wrapped around her. Elizabeth turned her head and kissed his cheek,

"You're lucky you're cute Thornton." She jumped out of his arms and quickly joined the others who were well entertained by their display. Jack shook his head and picked up his fishing pole.

The week away was exactly what they all needed. The biggest surprise of all was Carson and Faith announcing that they were eloping that very weekend with the people they loved most in world. They had arranged for a small ceremony in the barn. They had unbeknownst to the rest of their crew planned the weekend with the AirBNB owner who was more than helpful. Faith had a simple white lace dress that she had seen when she was out with the girls. She even had dresses ready for Abigail, Rosemary and Elizabeth to stand beside her. Carson had his groomsmen in khakis. The day ran smoothly and beautifully.

That evening as Elizabeth and Jack sat on the porch swing they counted the days until their own wedding day. He had an arm wrapped around her, hands clasped together.

"Elizabeth," the seriousness of his voice stilled her. She looked up at him concerned. He placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her forehead,

"Am I the reason your Mom wanted you to stay in London. To see where it would go?" He swallowed. Elizabeth dropped her gaze, there was no way getting around it. Lying wasn't an option. She took a breath and looked back at him,

"She wanted me to take risks. To make sure I regretted nothing. That I would leave never wondering what if. Whether that be you or anything else." She was being kind and he knew it.

"I'm sorry."

"Jack, you have nothing to be sorry for. I chose to stay. She knew me better than anyone. She knew had I gone home without seeing us through I would be distracted and full of regrets when I got home. I would not be in the position to be with her fully and wholeheartedly wondering if I left behind the love of my life. I would not have been able to devote to her that time I did without distraction. I came home knowing there was nothing in Hope Valley for me. Well you know what I mean." Whilst her words were supposed to comfort him it only pinched at his heart harder.

"Excuse me." He said rising to his feet not really giving her a chance to protest.

Elizabeth watched as he took a walk to the empty barn. She knew he needed a moment. What she said wasn't easy to say and could only imagine how hard it was to hear. She gave him an hour before joining him at the barn. The twinkle lights from Faith and Carson's wedding were still on and it still looked so pretty in there with all the flowers. She found Jack sitting before the makeshift altar. His eyes were closed and praying fervently. Sitting beside him she slipped a hand in his and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure where their latest revelation would take them and she just prayed. Jack opened his eyes and looked at their intertwined fingers and his fiancé sitting there beside him with her eyes closed. Praying. Eventually she turned and looked up at him.

He loved her beyond measure. He had always been grateful for her and the grace that covered their love but he wondered if he was the best there was for her. As she looked at him she knew what was whirling around his mind. She took a deep breath.

"If you're going to question for the rest of our lives whether you're worthy of my love we're in no better position than where we were when I questioned you whether I was enough. You can't feel bad for a decision I made."

"You deserve so much better," he whispered. Elizabeth closed her eyes and stood to her feet. Frustrated, annoyed and angry.

"After everything. After you fought so hard this is where we end up? You deserve so much better. That's cowardly Jack Thornton and you know it. So look me in the face and tell me you were wrong. That everything you said to this point was a lie. Because that's what it would mean." She challenged angrily at him. The look on her face broke him he stood to his feet and gathered her in his arms.

"Baby I'm sorry." Elizabeth turned away from him unable to look at him. Fighting to get out of his grasp but he wouldn't let go.

"Let me go. You say I deserve better and all I hear is…"

"Elizabeth, you are more than enough. You are more than I deserve. I don't want to live a day in my life where you're not a part of it but Baby you deserve better than some guy who wasn't brave enough to tell you he loved you all those years ago. Who in waiting for him to man up you lost out on months with your mother. How do you now hate me for that?" Elizabeth removed his arms from around her and turned to face him.

"Because I love you. Despite the inadequacy I feel. I know that in my heart you are who God intended for me, because of that there is a grace I can't explain for our history. Jack, there were so many chances for us to be done and God always brings us back together. Surely that counts for something. Surely at some point that's enough. I know you, what is this really about?" Jack took a deep breather,

"I got a call from the Doctor yesterday. He wants me to come in. I guess it freaked me out. I didn't want us to go all through this and,"

"And what you'll end up leaving me anyway. So you'd rather not try? You'd rather go back to your default setting which is to walk away instead of taking me with you. I forgave you once for that Jack but I won't again. You walk away from me now you better keep walking." She said with tears in her eyes,

"Marriage is supposed to be living to through the best and worst of times, if you can't see me in the worst of times then I'll let you walk. Because clearly I'm not that person for you." She knew she was being harsh and she had no intention of letting him walk but she needed him to know that wasn't acceptable. She took his face with both hands,

"For better or worse, sickness and in health isn't that what you want?" She asked him,

"Yes,"

"Then let me be a part of it all." Jack drew her into his arms.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry."

"When's your appointment?"

"The morning after we get back?"

"Do you want to go home earlier? We can do that. Lee and Rosie can hitch a ride with the Shepperd's"

"It's okay, it's just another day" Elizabeth nodded as he hugged her tighter.

"Elizabeth,"

"Can you just hold me?" She whispered not really wanting to talk. She just wanted to get him through what was ahead. For now nothing else mattered.

Jack and Elizabeth hadn't mentioned to anyone what awaited them upon their return. The packing up of the house and corralling of several families was a mission in itself. The Coulter's had ridden back to Thatcher Residence with Elizabeth, Jack and Logan. With Lee at the front Elizabeth and Rosie at the back with Logan. Jack would steal glances at Elizabeth sitting directly behind him. She'd catch him every time and flash him a smile that never fully reached her eyes. She knew he was worried about her and if she were honest she was still working through him wanting to walk away. She tabled that for after they knew what was going on. Elizabeth placed a hand on his shoulder. Every so often he'd place a hand over it as if to maintain contact at all times.

After seeing Lee and Rosemary off. Saying goodbye to her Dad and buckling in a half asleep Little boy, they were headed home.

"What are the chances of you letting me drive some of the way home?" She asked running her hand down his back. Jack smiled and kissed her on the forehead. Handing over the keys to his truck taking her by surprise. Grinning she accepted his hand helping her up his truck. Whilst it wasn't the first time shes driven his car as she often drove it she hardly ever drove if Jack was present. Ever the chivalrous one insisting on driving at all times. Driving home allowed her to do something and at that point she needed to be doing something. As she drove she let her hand rest on his hand that sat on her knee. They talked the whole way but they had both kept the topic light. Discussing work and Logan mostly. They were in the middle of talking about Logan's soccer game that following weekend when her phone rang connecting automatically to the Bluetooth of the truck.

"Rosie," they said in unison.

"You should answer that, she'll just keep calling otherwise." Jack teased, Elizabeth laughed knowing just how true that was.

"Hi Rosie, you're on speaker. I'm driving."

"Sweet Jesus, you're driving that monstrosity? And kudos for actually being allowed to drive." Rosie replied making Elizabeth laugh even more.

"I doubt you miss us already so what's up?"

"You forgot to give me your wedding dress to take to the seamstress to see if she can make adjustments."

"That's okay. I'll make a plan to go in. It would probably make more sense if I was there anyway. That way if she's confident she can make alterations she can do measurements then."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah hon all good. It'll keep."

"Let me know when you're going in. I want to see the dress on."

"Goodbye Rosie." Elizabeth answered shaking her head in amusement. As she hung up she focused on the road turning up the volume of the stereo slightly as she began to sing along to one of her favourite worship songs. Jack knew that she had just fed Rosie a lie. A convincing lie but a lie all the same.

"Elizabeth, for better or for worse." He said softly as a promise that they were still going to walk down that aisle. Regretting that he had managed to plant yet another seed of doubt. Elizabeth bit her lower lip and briefly looked at his direction and nodded.

As Elizabeth drove into her driveway Jack had insisted on helping her with her bags which was quite substantial from Ski Camp and their week away.

"You better get this little monkey to bed." She said as Logan wrapped his arms around her waist. They had dinner on the way home so that they could all get an early night in. Elizabeth thankfully did not have school for another couple of days which meant she could be with him the following day, provided he was still happy for her to go.

"Logan will hang with Tom tomorrow so I'll come pick you up around 7? We can do brunch after?" Elizabeth nodded.

"Sounds good Babe. Get a good nights rest." Logan excused himself to use the bathroom before they left giving Jack the opportunity to draw Elizabeth into his arms. There were no words. After the night before it felt like he had ripped open a wound that wasn't quite all healed yet. With her arms wrapped around him she reassuringly rubbed his back.

After they had left to go home Elizabeth looked at her bags and instead of unpacking she had changed into her running gear, grabbed her car keys to go for a run. She needed to clear her head if she was going to be fully present the following day. For her to be able to compartmentalise she needed to make space. It wasn't at all late and admittedly even if it was she still would have gone. She parked her car at the usual spot, slipped her wireless headphones on and ran. There was a lot to process. She understood that he had wigged and his default setting was to protect her to not make her go through something so painful once again. He didn't take into account how much it had hurt last time he did that in the name of protecting her. After forty five minutes she turned back and slow jogged to her car. At eight thirty like clock work her phone began to ring. Knowing better than to ignore it she answered.

"Hey you,"

"Hi, just got Logan bathed, jammied and asleep. It took many stories. I think he's been spoiled by your bedtime routines. Dad just doesn't quite cut it anymore."

"Stop, you just need to commit to the voices of each characters." She replied amused. Jack heard a car door open and close.

"Did you just finish a run?" He asked knowingly,

"Yeah a quick one. I looked at the laundry and went nah not today." Which they both knew was not an Elizabeth Thatcher quirk ever. She was known for home, unpack, laundry.

"Elizabeth?"

"Hmm yeah?"

"Come over?"

"Jack you need to be up early tomorrow."

"Let's be real are either of us actually going to be able to sleep?" Elizabeth bit her lower lip,

"I'll see you in a few."

Elizabeth drove to the Thornton's in silence. No radio, phone, silence. As she pulled into his driveway she watched him come out of the house and head towards her car. As usual he opened the door for her.

"Hi Babe,"

"Hey sweetheart. Thanks for coming."

"You okay?" She asked.

"Not really. I'm freaking out a little." Elizabeth took his hand in hers. She led him to the porch settee and sat beside him.

"Tell me,"

"I feel like it's taken so long for us to get here and the thought that it could all be taken away. What if? I can't put Logan through all that. I don't want to put you through that. I'm sorry about last night. I'm sorry for how it came off. I'm sorry for wigging. I just..."

"Hey, hey." She said wrapping her arms around him. Jack wept in her arms. In the moment she saw the magnitude of the fear he felt and how it overwhelmed and consumed him. She cupped his cheek with hand,

"We got this. You and me. We got this." She promised as he nodded. As she drew him back in her arms, his head cradled against her she prayed. Laying hands on his head, chest and arms she prayed fervently like never before. For healing, for restoration, miracles and hope. When she was done they had sat there in companionable silence. She could feel him gradually relax in her arms until eventually he had fallen asleep.

When Tom had come home later that night he found them both asleep. Aware of what was going on he was careful not to wake them knowing that sleep would be hard to come by. Quietly he had taken a blanket from the inside and draped it around them both. Elizabeth woke up and thanked him. Tom dropped a kiss on her head before heading back inside. He felt for them both. After everything they had been through, they needed to catch a break.


	27. Chapter 27

Elizabeth work early the next morning her head resting on Jack's chest as his arms were wrapped securely around her, the blanket Tom had draped over them had been pulled to her chin ensuring that she was warm. She looked up to find Jack awake,

"Morning Sweetheart," he greeted kissing her forehead.

"Morning," She replied. The sun wasn't quite up yet and his porch had a good view of the ocean and the sunrise. In the silence they watched the sunrise, when it was up Elizabeth excused herself home to take a shower and get ready.

"I'll see you soon," he said as he closed her car door and she nodded. She had a little over an hour to get ready. She wasn't quite sure what was ahead for them that day but she wanted to be prepared. She had convinced him that it would make more sense if she drove them and he leave his car at home. Reluctantly he agreed knowing if he couldn't drive on the way home it was easier for her to drive her car. She waited for him in the car as she picked him up knowing that if she went in they would be delayed by Logan. A part of Elizabeth was grateful because seeing Logan would make it more real somehow.

"Hi Baby," she greeted with a smile as he sat in her passenger seat. Jack smiled and leaned in for a kiss.

"Hi Sweetheart." Elizabeth noted the backpack he was carrying.

"He wants to do some tests. Doing them in my sweats makes it less intrusive somehow." He explained. Elizabeth kissed him deeply before resting her lips on his forehead for there were no words. Moments later she started the car and headed to the hospital where his specialist was meeting him. He had me taken them into his office to brief them.

"Jack, we're going to do a full MRI this morning. If the lump you found is the only one, we can do a biopsy and essentially remove it." Elizabeth turned to look at him. He had found the lump but he hadn't said anything to her. Swallowing Elizabeth turned back to the doctor and listened to the rest of the things he was saying. Jack would be admitted that morning to run tests and have possible surgery. When the nurse came in to hand him the paperwork he needed to complete she offered to fill it in for him. She had thought ahead and asked Tom for the history and records on the way home from their trip. He hesitated until she took out a Manila folder that he assumed had his medical history. She wanted to say that at least one Thornton man was forthcoming with information but she didn't. As the nurse got him settled into his bed he watched her fill in his paperwork as though she had been doing it forever. It was obvious that she had thoroughly read through the Manila folder as she barely glanced at it aside from double checking dates. When she was done she rose to her feet to take it to the nurses station. Jack knew she was trying not to be mad at him. She had taken a few minutes whilst she was at the nurses station taking deep breaths to calm herself down knowing being angry and offended wasn't going to help them at that time. Upon her return she sat on the chair beside his bed waiting for the wards men to take him to his MRI. Jack reached over to caress her cheek. Elizabeth looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile.

"The nurse said they shouldn't be too long."

"Elizabeth, tell me what goes on in that pretty head of yours."

"There's nothing," She replied.

"Don't do that. You've never filtered before, no matter how angry you've been at me. Don't do it now." He pleaded.

"Isn't that a bit hypocritical seeing as apparently you found a lump and didn't bother discussing your own concerns with your fiancé. You can't expect me to tell you everything that goes on in my head when you can't even tell me what would be considered the bare minimum when we're supposed to be marrying each other." She replied looking away from him.

"Look it doesn't matter." She sighed defeatedly.

"Hey, it matters. Sweetheart, please look at me." Elizabeth blinked back the tears and looked back at him.

"Come here," he said making space on his bed for her.

"No," she replied somewhat defiantly.

"It's either that or I'm moving to where you are."

"No, you don't get to keep calling the shots here. I'm so angry at you right now."

"And you should be."

"Stop Jack. Just stop. You don't get to try to make this better." She said quietly.

"It is what it is." Before Jack could respond the wards men had arrived to take him to get his MRI done. Standing to her feet she kissed his forehead.

"I'll be here when you get back,"

"I love you," he whispered trying to lock gaze with her but she refused to look at him. He grabbed her hand and she squeezed it before letting them take him in. She was so incredibly frustrated with him as hard as she tried not to be.

Tom had checked in with her for an update and she gave him the information that the doctor had provided. Immediately he called,

"Let me guess, he didn't bother telling you all that before you sat down with the doctor?" He asked knowingly.

"It's not you Bea. It's a Jack trademark move. He's been doing that since his first diagnosis. Mum doesn't even know he's in for tests today."

"Thomas!" She admonished,

"Trust me I know. But at least he tells me these days and that's something. I just didn't want to give him a reason to stop telling me in case."

"I get it. For the last hour I was with him after we saw the doctor I couldn't even look at him I was so mad. At the same time I felt guilty for being angry. He's just so frustrating." She groaned.

"Tom, we have to tell your Mom. It could be nothing and I'm taking nothing less from God right now but if it isn't nothing she's not going to forgive him for not telling her or us for that matter. I wouldn't."

"I know,"

"Do you want me to call? He's technically part my responsibility now too." Tom chuckled,

"Lucky you. Would you mind? I don't think I can be in the other side of the phone telling her this right now?"

"Of course. Are you okay with Logan? Does he know Jack was ever sick?"

"No, because he's been well since that last time. We thought for sure he'd kicked it as it has been over five years but,"

"If you're okay to stay with Logan I'll just keep you posted. I don't want to alarm him until there's something to be alarmed about. I'll call your Mom to check in. She can make a decision on whether she warrants it enough to jump on the plane and kick your brothers ass."

"I'm really glad you're around Bea." For a fraction of a moment Tom sounded no older than Logan.

"Back at you Bud. Give my boy hugs from me okay. I'll see him tonight."

"Do you think he will have to stay over night?"

"We'll cross that bridge if we have to."

Elizabeth grabbed herself a coffee and took a walk down the garden needing some fresh air before embarking on a conversation she wasn't sure how to start. Looking at her watch she knew she needed to make a move quickly to make sure she was back in the room for when Jack was wheeled back in.

"Hi Darling girl, how is my daughter in love?" Charlotte greeted seeing Elizabeth's name and picture pop up on her phone. Elizabeth called her at least twice a week to check in and texted in between.

"Hey Mom,"

"I do love the sound of that. How are you?" Charlotte replied. Having Elizabeth felt like she had a daughter and she was thankful for her.

"I could be better. Mom, I just wanted to let you know that Jack found a lump and he's getting an MRI as we speak." Elizabeth heard Charlotte take a deep breath,

"Are you worried?"

"In the sense where I didn't know there was a lump

until this morning yes. Apparently that's a Jack Thornton special."

"I could strangle him."

"You're his Momma, you get first dibs but I'm right behind you."

"At the same time he's my eldest and losing his Dad so early he's always felt he had to be the man of the house taking care of everyone. It's just how he's built."

"It doesn't mean I can't be mad right?" Elizabeth joked making Charlotte laugh.

"Go right ahead sweetheart. I'll hold off on booking a flight until you update me, but I'll be heading over regardless."

"Thanks Mom. I better go. I don't want him to be wheeled into an empty room. I told him I was really angry with him before he left so I don't want him to think I left."

"Thank you for loving my boy,"

"I'd say you're welcome but I'm pretty sure it's well programmed in me to love him despite how mad he makes me."

Elizabeth was quietly reading her book when they had rolled him in post MRI. He was pensive but alert despite how long he'd been laying down. She rose from her chair to run her fingers through his hair and kiss his forehead and his lips.

"You infuriate me but I love you." She whispered bringing her forehead to his looking right at him. Jack took her lips in his and kissed her deeply.

"I'm sorry." He replied as he tucked a loose wave behind her ear his hand cradling her face. Their moment was interrupted by the doctor as he came in. Elizabeth immediately stood fo her feet in complete attention. She took his hand in hers in solidarity.

"So it appears there's only that one lump which is good news. Due to your history I would really like to do a biopsy today and remove it. It would mean that you'd probably have to stay overnight. If it is malignant we may need to do a round of treatment." Elizabeth nodded as the doctor explained it all. Jack on the other hand was starting to panic on the inside. As though she had sensed it she squeezed his hand.

"I'll send one of the nurses to prep you. The procedure shouldn't take long. A couple to a few hours maybe but we will keep you updated Elizabeth." He promised. He knew that despite how prepared she may be this was her first rodeo.

"Thank you." She replied gratefully. As soon as the doctor had left Elizabeth swallowed and put her brave face on.

"Yo, scootch over will you?" She said to him as he smiled. Elizabeth slipped off her shoes and climbed into the hospital bed with him. She wrapped her arms around him as he was cradled against her. Jack's arms were like steel bands around her middle. There were tears in his eyes which brought tears to hers. She kissed him deeply as he clung tightly to her. Elizabeth began to pray live she never had before. Quietly she prayed and laid a hand on his shoulder where the lump was. She laid a hand on his head and his heart. When she finished she lay in his arms, face against his beating chest trying her best to hold it all in. Jack held her close not wanting to let her go.

The nurse arrived not long after to prep him. She watched as they plugged him into a few machines to monitor his pulse, his heart and an IV. She held his hand through it all. She leaned over to hug him before they wheeled him out of the room once more. They were taking him right into pre-op so they said she could stay in the room and they would grab her once he was in post op. As the door closed behind him she collapsed into the chair and wept. Arms had wrapped themselves around her and she looked up confused.

"Oh Daddy," she whispered wrapping her arms around his middle as she did when she was little. His heart tightened at the sight of the fear and agony that showed on her face.

"I'm here here Lady Bug."

"How?"

"He called me last night. He told me what was going on. What today was going to be. He wanted to tell you but he was so scared at what they would find. I would have been here earlier but there was an accident on the highway and I was stuck there for hours. I'm sorry I didn't get here earlier."

"I'm just so glad you're here now. Charlotte is on her way. We called her when we found out he was going to have the procedure and depending on the findings he may have to do a round of treatment. She wanted to be here. For him, for Logan,"

"For you," he guessed knowing how much Charlotte adored Elizabeth. Elizabeth nodded.

"Why don't we go to the chapel? We can pray together there." He suggested.

"We will let the nurses know where we are and make sure to call us if they have any update." He added noting her hesitation. Elizabeth reluctantly agreed. In the chapel they sat side by side, hands joined as they prayed. It was a familiar scene. They had spent countless days like that when her Mom would be asleep exhausted from treatment. It was an incredibly painful déjà vu for Elizabeth.

"Am I strong enough for this?" She asked looking up at her father.

"You are as strong as you need to be Baby girl." He answered wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into his arms.

Jack's procedure was over after two and a half hours and Elizabeth was allowed to sit with him in post op before they were able to transfer him back to his room. He looked so peaceful as he slept and she was overwhelmed with just how much she loved him. She found herself in prayer for what seemed like the umpteenth time since that morning. She held his hand in hers, her thumb soothingly rubbing his palm. Feeling the exhaustion wash over her she lay her head by their joined hands and closed her eyes. Jack woke a little while later to an asleep Elizabeth by his bed. He caressed her cheek bringing her out of her slumber.

"Hi baby," She said rising to her feet to kiss him.

"You okay?" He asked loving placing his hand on her cheek.

"I think I'm supposed to ask you that." She chuckled.

"I'm okay."

"I just want to hug you." Elizabeth confessed tearfully. Jack opened his arms,

"You won't hurt me I promise," he assured her as she hesitated. Elizabeth leaned carefully into his embrace careful not to bump the bandages shoulder. Jack kissed the top of her head.

"Sweetheart I'm okay."

"I know. I just need," Jack tightened his arms around her understanding what it was she was needing.

Shortly after Jack was rolled into his private room where William Thatcher sat with a book in his hand.

"Son," he greeted standing to his feet. Jack couldn't love William Thatcher more if he tried.

"Dad," he replied. Whilst vows may yet to be said, both Elizabeth and Jack had naturally began to refer to each parent as their own.

"You're looking pretty good post op,"

"I do my best. Thank you for coming."

"Nowhere is rather be. Now you must be starving. Name your pleasure." Jack grinned,

"Abigail's burger and fries please."

"You got it."

"Hey Dad, you might need to Uber Eats that order." Elizabeth suggested as he nodded in understanding. If he showed up at the diner there would be questions, questions they all knew Jack wasn't willing to answer. William picked up his phone to call his assistant to place the order from the company account. Whilst William went to order food and check in at home Elizabeth sat by Jack on his uninjured side.

"Chances are I'm going to need to stay overnight." He said taking her hand in his.

"Probably best that way." She replied kissing him on the temple.

"I got Tom to put a bag together for you. Dad picked it up whilst you were in post op just in case. I'm staying." She added in a non negotiable tone.

"Elizabeth," she turned to face him, challenging him to argue. He sighed,

"Logan," dirty play Elizabeth thought,

"If I don't come home tonight he's going to freak out. He hasn't seen you all day."

"Fine," she replied knowing that he was right. If the news isn't good there would be many nights like this one and they needed to set Logan up right. Jack wrapped his arms around Elizabeth resting his chin on her shoulder. When her Dad returned with the food she excused herself that check in with Tom. Jack watched as walked out the door.

"She's furious with me." William chuckled,

"Well you have been sporting some pretty poor form judgment calls in the last 30 hours. As mad as she is she gets it. You're just going to need to let her process her anger."

Elizabeth was back in the room by the time the doctor had come back to give him his results. Jack reached for Elizabeth's hand as he began.

"We removed the mass from your shoulder, whilst it was larger than we thought the biopsy showed that it was benign with no trace so no treatment necessary. I will need you to be diligent with being alert with your body and I am going to change your yearly check ups to quarterly one. However for this first quarter I want to see you every month." The relief that swept through Elizabeth was monumental. Her eyes began to fill with tears.

"How's your shoulder?"

"Fine, it hurts a little but I can move my arm around."

"That's good. You can go home in a few hours. I just want to make sure that you're felling stable enough to go."

"That's great. Thanks Doc." The Doctor nodded and headed out the door. As he turned the corner Elizabeth followed him out.

"Doctor Reed," She said softly catching his attention. He turned to see a tear stricken young woman who flung her arms around him.

"Thank you." She whispered softly and meaningfully.

"You're welcome. The next few months might be tough, he's going to feel on the edge every time he has to come in but hang in there." He assured her knowing that this was her first rodeo. She nodded gratefully. She wiped her tears and headed back into the room. William excused himself to call home. He would be staying at Elizabeth's for a couple of days and make sure all was okay before he went home.

"Do you want to fight with me now or later?" Jack asked. Elizabeth looked at him,

"If we're supposed to be in this together you need to actually let me be in this. You don't get to choose which parts I'm allowed to be part of."

"Noted." He said seriously. Elizabeth nodded in acknowledgment. Jack reached for her hand.

"Fight over?" He asked hopefully. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Sure."

"Hey, I'm serious."

"You have me at a slight disadvantage asking me that when you're lying there wrapped in bandages."

"It's important."

"You haven't played fair up to this point, what does it matter?" She replied honestly.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

"Apology accepted." She answered.

"Prove it." Elizabeth rolled her eyes at him once more and kissed him.


	28. Chapter 28

Elizabeth had gone ahead to the Thornton house leaving Jack in Dad's capable hands. He would drive him home whilst Elizabeth got Jack's room ready for him and have some time with Logan before he went to bed. Jack wasn't due to be released until 8 that evening which would mean he would miss Logan's bedtime. Elizabeth had picked up dinner on the way home. Tom had offered to get Jack's room ready for him whilst she spent some time with Logan. When Logan was down for the night she helped Tom change Jack's sheets.

"Mom arrives tomorrow night." He confirmed,

"Did you tell her he was all clear?"

"Yeah, I think she just wants to see for herself. Him being sick was really hard on her."

"I'm sure it was hard on all of you."

"Jack's her pillar. She loves us equally I have no doubts about that but she leans on him in a way she doesn't anyone else. Probably because she had to after Dad died. He's always been the grown up and I sometimes feel I'm stuck as that kid like Peter Pan who never grows up.

"For the record I don't see you that way. Neither does your brother. Without you Logan would not be as settled as he is. Jack relies on you. I rely on you. Don't discount the significance of that." Time smiled,

"Thanks Sis."

"Of course."

That night Elizabeth stayed with Jack until he fell asleep which honestly did not take that long thanks to the prescribed medication. She exhaustedly made her way home after to find her Dad already asleep in the guest room. She was up before dawn to make her way back to the Thornton's. She quietly let herself in and started making breakfast. It was their last official day off before school started for her and Logan. She had talked to Jack about taking the rest of the week off to be with him but he insisted she go back to work and she was tired of battling with him. He knew how important first week back was and didn't want her to miss out on it. With wedding things coming up he knew she had carefully planned out her days leading up to it.

She brought a tray of breakfast for him in time for his morning meds. She didn't bother waking him knowing his alarm would go off shortly. Instead of sticking around she had slipped out of the Thornton house and went for a run to clear her head. She had left her car in their driveway and her bag which had her phone in it on their hallway table. It was her way of still being present without physically being there.

Jack woke to find the breakfast tray on his bedside table. His waffles and bacon were still warm so he knew that she hadn't been gone long. The fact that she didn't wake him wasn't lost on him. Fight may be over but he had a lot of ground to regain.

By the time she had returned he was asleep again which she attributed to the meds. Tom had already taken his tray downstairs.

"Are you okay to change his bandages. I need to make a quick trip to office works for school tomorrow so I might go home for a shower and then pick up your Mom."

"Are you A-V-O-I-D-I-N-G ?" He spelled out as Logan was quietly playing with his LEGO's beside her."

"M-A-Y-B-E" she replied honestly. Tom understood why and was more than happy to facilitate the time and space she needed.

"Do you want me to take the K-I-D?" She asked.

"Your call."

"Hey Bud, I'm going to do some school stuff shopping. Did you want to come or stay here with and look after Daddy?" She asked giving him a choice knowing he hadn't really since Jack since their trip.

"Will you be back soon?" He asked.

"I'll be back later. I'm going to pick up Grammie from the airport."

"Okay. I'll stay with Daddy."

"Sounds good buddy. I'm going to go now. You be go good for Uncle Tommy."

"I will." He promised as he hugged her goodbye.

Elizabeth had gone to Officeworks and ran her errands as planned. She wanted so badly to go to Abigail's to debrief but it wasn't her news to tell. Instead she went home post errands. Unpack, do laundry, tidy up. William wasn't all together surprised to see her focused on a mission when she got home. After hanging her laundry she sat on the porch swing on her Juliet balcony lost in her thoughts which if she were honest went from nothing cohesive to blank.

William sat down beside her and handed her a spoon before presenting her with a pint of rocky road. She grinned appreciatively at him.

"Your phones been beeping like mad. How is your watch not going going nuts?"

"It's on airplane mode," she answered.

"I just needed some quiet time. I don't want to hear apologies. Reasoning. I just want to be left alone with my thoughts. To be allowed to feel what I'm feeling, for at least a couple of hours."

"And how do you feel?"

"Like I'm back at square one. Looking over my shoulder thinking someone did that better. That someone was privy to that and I wasn't. Is he really trying to protect me or he just doesn't trust me? It's a mess up there right now." She said pointing to her head, then pointed to her heart,

"It's a bit of a minefield in here too." She dug her spoon into the pint and took a generous bite. William could only wrap his arm around und her shoulder and pull her close.

"Surely it's not meant to be hard all the time." She said tiredly leaning into her Dad's embrace closing her eyes. William took the spoon for her hand as she snuggled deeper to his side as she did when she was little. He knew within moments she would be out. Once she fell into deep sleep William carried her into her bed and tucked her in. By the bags under eyes and the schedule she had been on for days he knew that she was exhausted.

"William," Charlotte greeted surprised not expecting him to be the one to pick him up.

"Hey Charls, good to see you. Did you have good flight?" He said giving her cheek a peck as he took her luggage.

"It wasn't too bad. Did Elizabeth end up staying with Jack?"

"She came home from Jack's to do errands and get ready for new term tomorrow, fell asleep on the swing."

"She must be exhausted."

"Like you she hadn't slept a wink since she's found out, now that he's okay I think her body's decided it's okay to crash. Hence you have me instead of her here."

"Thank you for picking me up."

"Of course."

"How are they doing?" Charlotte asked knowingly.

"They'll both be a little better after some quality rest." He answered.

As bad as she felt for not picking up Charlotte, she couldn't help but be relieved too. Thankful that her Dad had made the executive decision to let her sleep and take on Airport run in her place. She had taken a quick shower, made sure all of her things were ready for the following day and went straight back to sleep without taking a glance at her phone.

When he heard a car drive into the drive way he practically leapt off his bed. It had been radio silence all day long and he was at his wits end. He walked down the stairs to greet his Mom and felt his heart drop to see William and no Elizabeth.

"Hey darling, should you be out of bed?"

"I'm okay, just a little flesh wound. You didn't have to come all this way." He assured her,

"But it sure is good to see you." He said hugging her close.

"I'll let you guys catch up. I'm going to head back to Elizabeth's to see if she's stirred at all since she passed out." William explained.

"She okay?" He asked concerned.

"She's just tired," was William's response.

William checked in on Elizabeth and found her showered and asleep in her pjs deeply cocooned in the middle of her bed asleep unmoving. He hoped that a good nights rest would help her restlessness.

She woke early the next morning feeling physically better after having had proper sleep. She knew she couldn't avoid Jack forever and she did want to see Charlotte so she had to put her big girl pants on. She went for her usual morning run, dropped by Abigail's for a coffee to go and pastries for the Thornton's that she could drop off.

"Hello there stranger," Abigail greeted happily at the sight of her friend.

"You've been on my radar."

"With good reason but I can't get into it right now. For now can I get a coffee to go and an Abigail hug?" Elizabeth requested. Abigail pulled her into her arms and hugged her young friend.

Elizabeth knew it was still early so descend upon the Thornton's and messaged Charlotte first to see if she was awake who messaged right away to say she was and that Jetlag was real. She met Elizabeth on the front porch as she sat on the stairs with a box of doughnuts.

"They smell heavenly," Elizabeth stood to her feet and hugged her.

"So good to see you"

"And you my darling. Do you want to come in?"

"I would but you and I both know I'll get stuck in there. I just wanted to see you and drop off breakfast. I need to shower and head to school early,"

"But you'll be back later?"

"Of course." She reassured her.

"Elizabeth,"

"It wasn't me he wanted that whole time. I was just that person he felt he needed to protect to shield. Whatever. I wasn't a partner. I wasn't his fiancé. I most certainly wasn't the wife who nursed him back to health. I can't compete with that." Elizabeth said softly before she turned to get into her car. Charlotte caught her by the arm. Elizabeth met her gaze and Charlotte's heart broke a little to see the hurt in her eyes. Wordlessly she pulled her into her arms and hugged her tightly.

"My sweet girl, I know that's how you feel but honey thats not true."

"It was that day Char."

Elizabeth went home and got ready for her day. Tom would be taking Logan to school that morning instead of Elizabeth picking him up. When she arrived at school she still had an hour before they would all come. On her desk was a bouquet of gerbers and iris'. She didn't need to read the card to know who it was from. He'd been sending her flowers on the first day every term since he'd come to Sydney. She stuck the card in her bag without reading if.

"What you're not even going to read the card?" A voice asked interrupting her. She looked up to find him leaning against the door.

"Later," she answered.

"Should you be out of bed?" She asked.

"Well today is my fiancé's first day back to class and I wanted to see her off,"

"Thank you for the flowers." She said politely.

"Elizabeth,"

"Not here. Not now." She replied.

"Can I at least hug you?" He asked. Not really waiting for a response he closed the distance between them and drew her into an embrace. His arms held her tightly against his chest.

"We're going to talk later. You and me okay?" He pleaded as she her arms remained by her side. She shrugged totally removed. She needed to compartmentalise and having him in her work space was not conducive.

"You have to go. I need to get ready."

"Elizabeth please,"

"I'll see you this afternoon."

Elizabeth wasn't entirely sure how she survived the day but she did. All in all it was a great first day. One she enjoyed immensely and made her look forward to the second half of the school year. Both Tom and Jack were there to pick up Logan which she knew meant that Jack was there for her. As she and Rosie were parting ways, Rosie called out from her car.

"Bea you need to call the seamstress. She just sent me a message. She says she's been trying to call you for days and she hasn't heard back. She needs you to bring the dress so she can measure you and what not."

"Thanks Rosie. I'll get to her," she replied non committedly which was not lost on Rosie, Tom and especially Jack. Logan wrapped his arms around Bea's waist.

"Gramma is cooking lasagne." He said excitedly,

"She is, that's awesome buddy."

"You're coming over for dinner right Aunt Bea? Gramma says you are." He added.

"Well who can argue with Gramma? I'll see you later bud. Be good for Uncle Tommy and Grandma."

"I will," he promised.

After hugging both Tom and Logan she turned to Jack and felt the enormity of what was ahead. She handed him her car keys and sat on the passenger seat to wait for him. Silently he drove to their spot by the water. He parked the car and looked at her. He watched as she took a deep breath before looking at him.

"I'm sorry for how I made you feel these last couple of days. I'm not used to having someone share this with me. When I was first diagnosed it took months before I told Mom. I was already in treatment when I told her. Boy was she mad. The second time, I waited until you had gone home not because I wanted to hide it from you but because I just wanted our time to be just that, our time. It's not about not wanting to share that part of my life or not upholding the sickness and in health. When I'm with you I just want to be fully present at all times. For you to see me as me. For you to not see me sick or weak or dying. It's not because there was someone else I wanted there holding my hand. Truth is you're the only one I could imagine being there. It meant everything to me that it was your face I saw last and your face that I saw first when I opened my eyes. I can't articulate into words what a great comfort that was for me. I need you to hear me when I tell you there's no one else I would rather have hold my hand through it all. You are the only person I see beside me when I look towards what's ahead."

When Elizabeth and Jack had arrived at the Thornton's both Tommy and Charlotte could tell that they were still a work in progress. Whilst Elizabeth had heard him out and wasn't bolting she was still guarded. Charlotte had invited William to join them for dinner which if Elizabeth were honest made her feel more at ease.

Charlotte had stayed a couple of weeks which they all thoroughly enjoyed. She had offered to help with wedding preparations but Elizabeth assured her that everything was in motion.

One afternoon Jack as a favour had gone to pick up her gym bag from home as she forgot it before heading to school. He was going to drop it off to her when he picked up Logan. Elizabeth thought she had taken it out of her closet but she did not. Jack had walked into her walk in wardrobe and found her gym bag. Chuckling to himself he picked it up and immediately a box had caught his eye. He knew it was the box that held her wedding dress. The very same one she was supposed to be getting altered in time for their wedding. Since his hospital scare and their talk Elizabeth had been weary to talk about the wedding. As though she wondered whether it was still going ahead. He thought time and readjusting would get her there but as he looked at the box before him he knew they had to talk.

After class she met him at his car to grab her bag. She smiled upon seeing him.

"Thank you!" She said gratefully kissing his cheek.

"You're welcome. It never made it out of your closet." She paused. She knew if he was in her closet he would have seen the box. It was hard not to. It screamed at her every time she walked into the closet. She knew that she had just kissed her gym session goodbye. Jack placed his palm on her cheek,

"Talk to me."

"Logan,"

"Tom picked him up. Just you and me Babe. Your car or mine." She knew that was the only choice he was giving her. That talking was not a choice. Elizabeth locked her car and got into his. He drove them to the park near the the school and sat on the park bench.

"We have are a little over two months shy of the wedding. You haven't brought your dress to the seamstress. Why sweetheart?"

"Because it doesn't feel real to me. It feels like we keep hitting these road blocks and you're just going to realise it's not me. When you thought you were sick it threw me in for a loop because again someone else would have done it better. That did it better. Who has already done that journey with you and you wanting to shield me from it. It was just another thing."

"You think that's the reason why? Because you paled in comparison? Elizabeth, sweetheart." Elizabeth shrugged.

"It's stupid but yeah."

"Babe, it's not stupid and I'm so sorry. What can I do?"

"Are you sure about this? Are you sure it's me? Because if it isn't, it's okay."

"Are you serious?" He asked incredulously.

"I mean surely when you married Emily it wasn't this complicated." Jack chuckled.

"You two would make a great pair. The night before we were due to get married she asked was I sure? She told me I should go to Sydney to make sure that you and I were done. That it really was her."

"And clearly it was."

"Elizabeth," she was pushing him and he knew it.

"Do you want to marry me?" He asked point blank. She looked away for a moment.

"For as long as I can remember that's all I've ever wanted." She replied.

"Then why are you dragging your feet?"

"Because what if we're finally married and you realise it really wasn't me. We've talked about this for so long. What we could have been. We've been fighting for that chance we never took. What if at the end of it all you realise you picked right in the first place. If you can't talk to me about the big things in the name of protecting me where does that leave us? Were you like that with her? Did you talk to her about the things you don't talk to me about. When you woke up at the hospital were you looking for her? Those are the things that go on in my head. So I guess the question isn't if I want to marry you but do you really want to marry me?"

"Sweetheart, I love you. Emily was a part of my past but my future, you're the only person i can imagine growing old with. I didn't not tell you about the lump not because you weren't Emily but because I didn't want to give you a reason to bolt. I didn't want it to be another thing that I would end up burdening you with. Yes it was to protect you but to be honest it was because I was scared to lose you."

"That's stupid. After everything do you really think Leukemia would ever be the reason I walk away from you."

"Well sweetheart for a while there it felt like you had your running shoes on." He answered honestly. Elizabeth turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I had my running shoes on. Our history is beautiful and overwhelming all in the same heartbeat. I don't doubt you love me. I never have. It's me I doubted. I doubt if I'm enough."

"If you can only see yourself through my eyes. Through the eyes of every person who loves you, you would understand why it's me who thinks I'm not enough." Elizabeth lay her head on his shoulder.

"Where does that leave us?"

"We work on it together."

"Jack,"

"Yeah Babe,"

"I love you. I want to marry you. I want us to do this together. No more trying to protect me. We do this together."

"I love you Elizabeth. I want to marry you. I promise you from today for the rest of our lives it's you an me."

"Okay, fight over."


	29. Chapter 29

"Hey Sweetheart,"

"Hi Babe, hows work?" She asked as stepped out of the room. It was a Friday afternoon and Elizabeth was with her bridesmaids trying on Bridesmaid dresses. After school Elizabeth had the girls over whilst the seamstress was over to do final adjustments to her Mom's wedding dress. With the exception of Abigail no one else had seen it on.

"Getting there. Be glad when this project is over."

"Not long to go." She placated knowing the reason for his countdown was the wedding.

"How goes bridesmaid fittings?"

"Pretty good. We went with same colour different style." Elizabeth was pretty laid back. She wanted her friends to be comfortable and make use of their dress more than once.

"If that's the case I will have the boys match their dresses."

"Sounds great. Hey are you boys doing that tomorrow? I'll get Rosie to bring a swatch home to Lee to match."

"Aren't we all heading to Abigail's for dinner?" He asked amused.

"Ah yes," she answered sheepish.

"Yeah we're going for fittings tomorrow." He answered as she chuckled.

"Abigail wants to know what flavour cake you want for our wedding cake?"

"I thought we were going to insist on outsourcing that so she's not doing that and bridesmaid duties?"

"Sorry Babe, I lost the battle." She replied.

"I want to make the cake for the best day of your life thus far, don't take it away from me." He heard Abigail in the background.

"Okay okay," he answered laughing.

"Gotta go Babe, they brought out the champagne and you know it won't end well if I let them start with champagne." Jack chuckled,

"Okay, let me know if you girls need a ride home from there. I'm almost done."

"I don't know if I should be insulted that you think we'd be irresponsible enough to drink an amount that warrants an escort home?"

"Take it as if you want more than one glass I am offering my services." He countered.

"I love you, but we should be fine. I'm not drinking and technically Rosie can't drink."

"Ah Yes, I forgot that part. I love you too. See you soon."

"Bye babe,"

The girls arrived well after the boys for dinner that night. The five of them were giggling as they walked in like a bunch of teenage girls. The boys just shook their heads in amusement.

"Hi kids, did you have a good time at the mall?" Lee teased.

"Haha Leland." Elizabeth replied as she planted a kiss on Jack's cheek before sitting beside him. Jack draped an arm around her,

"How did you go with the dresses?" Carson asked.

"All done."

"And yours?" Jack enquired. Elizabeth turned her head to grin at him.

"I was all done before them I'll have you know." Jack kissed her cheek as he scooted closer to her.

"She looked amazing." Rosie said tearfully,

"Those hormones got you good honey." Lee said wrapping his arms around his wife.

"They sure do." Elizabeth agreed with great amusement.

"She cried listening to us say goodbye on the phone earlier." She recounted to Jack,

"Oh Rosie," Jack said affectionately. Elizabeth smiled. It meant so much to her that Jack loved her friends as much as she did.

"It wasn't hormones," Abigail said placing a hand on his shoulder as she walked by. Jack grinned, he couldn't wait to see Elizabeth in her wedding dress.

"Way to go in managing his expectations Abigail." Elizabeth retorted.

"Oh please you could wear a sack and Jack Thornton would cry at the sight of you." Carson pointed out.

"Alright alright. Let us change the subject please and leave the man's imagination alone." Jack kissed the side of her head.

"I can't wait to marry you Elizabeth Grace Thatcher."

"That's good to hear Jack Thornton. I may be just as excited to marry you." She replied as his arm dropped down to her waist, his hand resting across her middle.

On the morning of Faith and Elizabeth's half marathon their respective husband and fiancé had awoken at an incredibly ungodly hour of 4am to drive them to their starting point. They would then proceed to sit at the finishing line waiting for them.

Faith and Elizabeth had conquered the half marathon at their own paces but both finished. By the time Elizabeth had finished she was incredibly spent. Jack was waiting for her at the finish line holding out her medal as Faith, Carson and Lee stood proudly beside him. She exhaustedly walked into Jack's arms not at all caring how sweaty and gross she felt.

"Sweetheart I am so proud of you."

"Thank you," She murmured into his chest as he hugged her so fiercely against him.

When everyone had their turn in hugging Elizabeth she and Faith did a few stretches before they all headed to Abigail's for breakfast where the rest of their crew were waiting. After a somewhat rowdy breakfast Elizabeth and Jack took all the kids to the beach for a swim allowing Elizabeth's muscles to not be in so much trauma.

Not long after they had dropped off kids that Elizabeth fell asleep in the car as Jack drove her home. Jack easily carried Elizabeth out of the car without her waking. Logan following close behind with her backpack filled with the change of clothes from the day. She had taken a shower at Abigail's knowing she wouldn't have the energy by the time she got home. Carefully the Thornton boys tucked in their favourite girl and kissed her goodnight as she slept through it all.

Elizabeth woke the next morning to the smell of waffles and bacon. She grinned knowing there was a short list of people that couple be in the her kitchen. Her hunch told her it was Jack but It easily could have been Lee or Abigail. As she rose from her bed she felt the stiffness of her muscles and the agony that came with running a half marathon. Slowly she went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth and her hair before throwing on a hoodie over the sweats she slept in the night before. She guessed that Jack had carried her into bed.

"Morning sleeping beauty, are you sore?" Jack greeted as he watched her slowly walk out of her room. Elizabeth grinned and nodded. Jack smiled walking over to her and holding out an arm to help her.

"Thank you baby, for tucking me in and cooking me breakfast." She said kissing his cheek.

"Of course,"

Elizabeth had the day off so Jack had planned to work from home to spend the day with her knowing that her movements would be limited for the rest of the day. They had spent the day on the couch, him on his laptop whilst she lay on one of the couch with her legs resting over his lap reading. When they broke for lunch they had sorted out the table settings for the reception ticking off yet another box from their to do list.

For the weeks that followed Elizabeth, Jack and their trusted few were all hands on deck to ensure everything was all set for the big day. Elizabeth was insistent on simple elegance therefore she was pretty organised leaving very little to be done.

"Hey Sweetheart, how was the drive home?" Jack asked as he got dinner ready for Logan.

"Still driving. I had to run to the seamstress to pick up Becky's dress. She had done the alterations but wanted to make sure it fit properly but Becky couldn't leave school early today so I said I would pick it up and drop it off to Abigail's."

"That's the last thing on the list right?" He asked. He was well versed in their list as he didn't want her to be doing everything on her own.

"Yeah baby, we're all done." She answered.

They had a week before the wedding and school was winding down on its last week before the term break. She and Jack had rented a house by the beach for a week after their wedding. Logan would be staying with Papa Thatcher much to both Papa Thatcher and his excitement. Both Jack and Elizabeth decided to postpone their honeymoon for the summer break giving them a chance to decide where to go and what to do as they were still of several minds with that decision.

Having finished with their list meant they could relax for the days leading to their wedding day. Abigail and Rosie were throwing her a bridal shower at the Coulter's new home on the Saturday afternoon. With Rosie being heavily pregnant they had opted out of the night out. Instead Rosie had planned a day spa day the day before the wedding for Elizabeth which she was totally looking forward to.

"You marry me in 8 days Thatcher." Elizabeth grinned

"I sure am," she answered

"I can't wait." He confessed.

"Me too baby."


	30. Chapter 30

Elizabeth had just released her kids at noon for term break and erasing the blackboard when she sensed his presence immediately. She grinned before turning knowing when she did he would be leaning against her door watching her as he had been caught doing on more than one occasion.

"You know you have the rest of our lives to stare at me right? I'm. I'm not going anywhere." Jack chuckled. He never could sneak up on her.

"That's good to hear but you should know by now staring at you is my favourite past time." He answered as he made his way to her wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

"Happy last day of term sweetheart." He greeted as he kissed her shoulder.

"Happy almost wedding day baby." She replied turning around to look at him. Jack's arms tightened around her and tilted her head and smiled at him in such a way that always made him weak at the knees.

"Less than 24 hours to go."

"Where's your warden? I would have thought you would have been on lockdown until tomorrow."

"Heavily pregnant and a little slower on the move." Jack answered. Rosie was very serious about keeping tradition and forbade Jack to see Elizabeth the day before the wedding.

"You know she's doing it to torture you right? She and Lee certainly saw each other the night before." Elizabeth said laughing.

"That's why I'm here. If nothing else but to rebel."

"You two," Elizabeth said shaking her head in amusement.

Elizabeth and Jack had about a half hour before Rosie tracked Jack down so Jack made the most of it keeping Elizabeth in his arms as they sat on the benches on school grounds overlooking the track field.

"What are you guys up to tonight?" Elizabeth asked.

"You mean aside from having dinner with my fiancé seeing as I am not allowed that." He replied with a pout. Elizabeth smiled up at him,

"You know I can always insist on lifting the ban."

"I know, but who am I to poo poo on tradition merely because I can't stand another night being apart from you."

"You're a good man Jack Thornton. Not every man would be willing to relinquish a night with his fiancé in the name of making her best friend happy."

"I love you Elizabeth."

"I love you."

Rosemary's hormones almost had her allowing for the two of them to stay together at the sight of Jack's arms secured around her best friend as they sat with their heads together talking. Wiping a tear the escaped from her eye she walked up to them.

"If you insist in gluing yourself to Elizabeth, you may do so. I am not going to stand in the way on true love." Jack and Elizabeth looked up as Rosie approached.

"It's okay Rosie. I am having dinner with my folks and Tom tonight." Jack replied dropping a kiss on Elizabeth's temple before standing to his feet holding out a hand to her. Elizabeth stood as he wrapped his arm around her in a hug.

"Have a good night sweet heart, I'll call you before you go to bed. I am allowed that right warden?" He teased looking at Rosie with a grin.

"I guess I can allow it," she replied without missing a beat. Jack kissed Elizabeth once more before releasing her from his arms. As he passed Rosie he kissed her cheek,

"Thank you for looking after my wife to be," Rosie smiled and patted his arm.

"My pleasure." Jack wanted Rosemary to know that despite his open protests he appreciated that Rosemary always had Elizabeth's best interest at heart. Rosie linked her arm through Elizabeth's.

"You ready to go? Lee picked up your luggages from your place before heading to the reception venue this morning. He said he will drop it off at your Dad's."

"Yes, I am ready to go. You set?"

"Yeah. Noah and Peter aren't heading in until this afternoon so they said if there's anything we've forgotten they can grab it."

"That's good to know, but I think we're all good. Did Abigail go with Lee?"

"She did. She wanted to make sure that her cake made it there unscathed." Elizabeth chuckled as she and Rosie hopped in her car.

She and Jack had chosen to get married where Jack had proposed. The reception would be held at the restaurant, but their ceremony would be held by the water. Jack, his family and most of their guests were staying at a hotel nearby. She was staying at their family home. She wanted to get ready in her bedroom. Take photos in their family home. Her sisters, their families along with Lee and Rosie were staying in the Thatcher home. The Stanton's were staying in the guest house on the Thatcher property. Elizabeth was looking forward to the chaos of family.

Mrs Hahn had prepared a feast for the dinner before her wedding day. Abigail and Lee had transformed the empty barn into a dining hall to host their family dinner.

"You guys," Elizabeth exclaimed surprise as she walked into the barn that now had two extremely long tables lined with white tablecloth. Her favourite flowers as centrepieces separated by candles. The barn was lit with fairy lights and lanterns.

"This is not casual." She observed. Abigail hugged her young friend.

"Hush, enjoy it. Your Dad wanted to make sure that he threw you the family dinner that he knew your Mom would." With tears in her eyes she returned Abigail's hug.

"Thank you. Where is that father of mine?"

"He's at the reception hall. He and Lee dropped off the bombonieres with a few other things. Mrs Hahn also thought we would need more drinks."

"Thank you Abigail. This place looks magical." Elizabeth said gratefully taking it all in. Abigail gave her another squeeze before leaving her to enjoy the peace before the madness began.

"Hey beautiful," Elizabeth looked up surprised at the sound of his voice. She grinned as she saw him leaning against the barn door. Newly showered in his slacks and long sleeve shirt. Elizabeth stood to her feet and met him half way.

"You look amazing," he said kissing her hello. After she had arrived home she hung out with her nieces, nephew and sisters for a couple of hours before taking a shower and getting ready as she was banned from the barn until Abigail had taken her. She stood before him with her hair straightened, minimal make up, and a floral dress that hugged her in the right places, the blues bringing out her eyes.

"You're looking pretty handsome yourself. What are you doing here?"

"Did you really think I would let tradition keep us apart on the night before our wedding?" Elizabeth tilted her head to the side.

"We were always coming. Rosie thought it might be a nice surprise for you."

"I'm so glad you're here to see this. Isn't it magical?" She said with a content smile,

"It certainly is." he replied not taking his eyes off her. Elizabeth blushed,

"I meant the barn Jack." Jack laughed and hugged her close resting his chin on her head.

"It's incredible. I know Lee and Abigail have been working really hard to make this space what it is. They've done an amazing job."

"Abigail said that my Dad wanted to throw me a family dinner he knew would be worthy of the one my Mom would have thrown for me."

"He knew how much it would mean to her. To you." Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.

Dinner was lively and chaotic. Elizabeth's favourite part was having their families all together in the one place. Having Jack sitting to her right, Logan to her left and eventually on her lap surrounded by the people she loved most in the world. When they had said their goodnight's to those that were not staying at the Thatcher residence on the driveway Elizabeth slipped her hand into her father's.

"Take a walk with me?" She asked with a smile. William's eyes welled, in that moment she was his five year old little girl in pigtails.

"Of course Princess." Elizabeth led them back towards the barn and gazebo.

"Thank you Daddy. For tonight, and for every day since I was born. I am who I am because of you. Because of how well you loved me."

"It has been an honour and a privilege to be your Dad kid." William wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

"I am so incredibly proud of you Lizzy. Of your character, your strength and your ability to love. You remind me so much of your mother. I know she is looking down from heaven beaming with overwhelming love and pride. Just as I am."

"I miss her, but I feel her everywhere." Elizabeth confessed. Her mother's presence was tangible that day and Elizabeth was confident it would be again on her wedding day.

Elizabeth woke early the next day. At 5am she snuck out to take a ride with Sirocco. She rode to the end of their acreage overlooking their whole land. She loved that she could see their home from there. How peaceful it was. She thought about the day ahead. The future that awaited her and Jack. How it had taken so much for them to get to where they were but they were finally there. It wasn't easy, but she knew it was worth it.

William wasn't surprised to see Elizabeth's riding boots missing and the horse barn lights on when he got up. She never missed a morning ride when she was home. He knew she would certainly not miss one on her wedding day. He knew she would hit all of her favourite spots with her Mom as part of her ritual. When she had returned from brushing down Sirocco he met her at the back door and handed her a coffee.

"Morning Daddy, thank you." She said giving his cheek a kiss.

"Morning Princess. Good ride?"

"The best. Anyone else up?"

"Mrs Hahn and Abigail. The rest of them are starting to rustle awake." They walked into the kitchen to find Abigail and Mrs Hahn working on breakfast in perfect unison.

"I thought we gave these two the day off because it was a special occasion?" Elizabeth teased.

"As if I was going to let anyone else cook you breakfast on your wedding day?" Mrs Hahn replied dryly. Elizabeth draped an arm around their housekeeper.

"Thank you, both of you." She said sincerely looking from Mrs Hahn to Abigail.

After breakfast Elizabeth went to shower and be ready for their make up artist and hair stylist. As she wrapped her head with a towel she noticed the message from Jack earlier. She had not looked at her phone since she woke up that morning. She picked up her phone and called him,

"Morning Sweetheart, how was your ride?" He asked knowlngly.

"It was great. How are you? Have you had breakfast?" She asked as she began to moisturise.

"Yeah we went down to breakfast earlier. I am now going to take an active little boy down to the pool for a bit to drain some of his energy. You ready to be Mrs Thornton?"

"You better believe it."

"Good, I'll be the one at the end of the aisle waiting for you."

Jack nervously paced in front of their wedding canopy. They had one made specifically adorned with her favourite flowers. There were rows of white wooden chairs that had stencilled prints of the same flowers on the back of it. It had all come together so nicely. He knew that Elizabeth would love it. He had seen the car pull in. They had placed a few screens to ensure that he would not be able to see her until she walked down the aisle. He knew that behind those screens stood his bride and he could not wait. Tom had placed a hand on his brother's shoulder as if to still him. Jack looked at Tom and smiled at him nervously.

"Relax buddy, she loves you. You're doing this."

"Thanks Man."

As William stood to one side and Lee at the other Elizabeth looked at the men who played a major part in shaping her with gratitude and love.

"You look beautiful B."

"Thank you Lee. For everything." Choked up Lee couldn't form words and merely nodded kissing her on the forehead before leaving her to walk down the aisle with his wife.

"You ready Princess?" William asked.

"Yeah Daddy, I'm ready. I love you."

"I love you too Princess, around the world and back again." Elizabeth smiled, she hadn't heard him say that since she was young.

As he music began Jack stopped still and stood straight to look down the aisle where at the end of it his bride stood. He watched as Lee and Rosemary walked in together, Abigail and Noah, Faith and Carson, Becky and Peter. Followed by Logan walking on his own, Katie and Cody, Teddy and Will. At the second verse Elizabeth emerged from behind the screen and Jack gasped at the sight of her in her mother's wedding dressed that was altered to her specifications. He hair hung with loose curls framing her face.

"There was a time when I would have believed them

If they told me that you could not come true

Just love's illusion

But then you found me

And everything changed

And I believe in something again.

My whole heart

Will be yours forever

This is a beautiful start

To a lifelong love letter

Tell the world that we finally got it all right

I choose you

I will become yours and you will become mine

I choose you

I choose you, yeah"

As they made it to the end of the aisle William kissed his daughter's cheek before placing Elizabeth's hand in Jack's.

"You look after my girl you hear?"

"You have my word Sir," Jack replied solemnly before turning his attention back to Elizabeth tears streaming down his face.

"You're breathtaking," Elizabeth cupped his cheek with her palm and wiped his tears with her thumb.

"We're doing this," she said as if to assure him. Jack nodded taking both of her hands in his bringing it to his lips.

"Family and Friends, we are gathered before you today in celebration of the union of Jack Theodore Thornton and Elizabeth Grace Thatcher," Pastor Frank began. As Elizabeth and Jack professed their love for each other there was not a dry eye within their family friends. It was a small gathering of their family and friends. Everyone in the room had been privy to their journey therefore were well aware of the road they had travelled.

"You may now kiss the bride," Pastor Frank announced once their rings were on. Jack didn't waste a moment and pulled Elizabeth in for a kiss. A loud roar of cheers erupted as they did.


	31. Chapter 31

Elizabeth and Jack were only taking a week for their honeymoon. They opted to take a proper honeymoon in the summer so that Logan could join them making it more a family holiday. Because of this, Charlotte, Bill and William had insisted that they would gift them with their honeymoon. Elizabeth and Jack were presented with a week on a luxury cruise. They had left a couple of days after the wedding and had an incredible time.

Their living arrangements temporarily had been for Tom to move into Elizabeth's place and she move into where the Thornton's were currently living until they had found a place of their own. Both Jack and Elizabeth had sat with Tom to tell him that they were happy to all be living under the one roof and in no way wanted him to move out, however they would understand if he wanted the privacy and offered Elizabeth's home as an option. Otherwise she would have rented it out. Tom gratefully accepted the trade wanting his own space too.

Upon their return however Jack had surprised Elizabeth with their own home. He had blindfolded her on the way home from their week away and she was uncertain of what he had up his sleeve.

"Jack!" She exclaimed as he removed her blindfold and she was standing in front of a house with a sold sign.

"It's your wedding present. It doesn't have to be our forever home, but I wanted us to start our new life in a home that's new to us both as a new beginning for our life together. Are you mad?" He asked knowing he should have consulted her as it was such a big decision.

"Of course not. I understand. Thank you. Can we go in?" She asked excitedly. Jack smiled at her child like enthusiasm. He dangled her set of keys in front of her.

"Go on ahead sweetheart."

"Oh Jack," she breathed in wonder.

"It's beautiful." The house had been furnished with both of their favourite pieces from their current home which left room for Elizabeth to decorate it as she pleased.

"Did we leave any furniture for Tom?" She asked making Jack laugh.

"We did."

"How did you even pull this off?"

"We have the best friends and family in their world. I figure you can furnish and decorate this home as you would like it. In the meantime, our things are here to make it homey."

"I love it."

"Abigail said thank you for packing all of your clothes before you left for our honeymoon as it made her life easier."

"I bet. Thank you Baby." She said turning to him and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You're welcome." Jack dropped his lips to hers. They had spent the last 8 days enjoying their time alone. They missed Logan incredibly but were thankful for their time together.

"Shall we go and grab our little one?" She asked cupping his cheek with her palm.

"Dad said he'll drop him off tomorrow." Logan was staying with Papa Thatcher in their absence but was supposed be at Abigail's by the time they got home.

"So we're all alone in this big house all by ourselves?" She said tilting her head to the side with a mischievous smile. Jack wordlessly

drew her closer to him and kissed her deeply.

The following morning as they were making breakfast they heard the front door open and the quickened steps of one little boy. Elizabeth smiled bracing herself for impact of what was coming. Logan turned into the room and headed straight for her. She opened her arms to receive him,

"Hey monkey, we've missed you."

"I've missed you." He said with his arms wrapped tightly around her neck.

"Hey buddy. I missed you too you know." Jack teased as Logan smiled up at his Dad sheepishly.

"I missed you too Dad." Jack took Logan from Elizabeth so she could greet her Dad.

"Hey Daddy, thanks for looking after our little monkey." She said walking into his embrace.

"You're so welcome. We always have a great time don't we kiddo?"

"Yes, Papa let me drive the tractor the other day."

"Did he now?" Elizabeth asked as William looked guilty. Jack laughed,

"On that note, I have to check in at the Sydney office."

"Convenient Daddy. Can you come back for lunch or dinner before you head home?"

"I have a couple of meetings but I can probably come for an early dinner."

"Great, I'll cook. Let me know when you have a better idea of what time you'll be done."

"Sounds great ladybug. I'll be off. Gentlemen. I'll see you later." Logan ran to William and threw his arms around his waist.

"Thank you for taking care of me Papa."

"You're welcome kiddo." William replied hugging Logan back. Jack and Elizabeth exchanged a look. Logan Thornton was certainly attached to his Papa Thatcher and clearly the feeling was mutual.

They enjoyed a few days in their new home as a family before they all went back to work and school. Time passed quickly. Rosemary and Lee had their baby boy Henry William Coulter and Elizabeth was already in her last week of term for the year. She and Jack had found it easy to transition into their new season as a family under one roof. Logan thrived being in a two parent household. He loved Elizabeth and having her with them full time.

After school Logan walked to Elizabeth's classroom so that they could go home together. She was cleaning the whiteboard when he walked in.

"Hey sweetie, I'm almost done. Did you have a good day?" Logan shrugged. Elizabeth stopped. Her usually chatterbox little boy was all of a sudden wordless. She put the down the eraser and walked over to where he stood by the door.

"What's wrong honey?"

"Nothing," he replied not looking at her. Elizabeth cupped his cheek,

"Want to try that again?" She asked gently,

"Simon Pietersen said because you're not my real Mommy you could never love me the same way his Mommy loves him. He said that when you have your own baby you won't love me anymore." Elizabeth's heart ached for him as she drew him into her arms.

"You listen to me Logan Thornton, I love you with every ounce of love I have in me. No one one, not even a new baby can take away from my love for you because I have enough for you and anyone else that may come along. I don't need to give birth to you go love you with all of my heart." her heart broke as she felt him sink into her arms hugging her with all of his might.

"You promise?"he asked meekly,

"With all my heart." She replied rubbing his back.

When Jack arrived home dinner was on the stove and the loves of his life were tackling a puzzle. Logan was seated on Elizabeth's lap.

"Hey Baby, how was work?" She asked as he bent down to kiss them both.

"Good. Did you two have a good day?" He asked eyeing his son who hadn't made a move to hop off Elizabeth's lap.

"We're okay aren't we bud?" Logan nodded.

"Honey why don't you go wash up for dinner so we can eat?" Logan reluctantly climbed off Elizabeth's lap. Jack snuck in a hug before releasing him to the upstairs bathroom.

"Is he okay?" Jack asked as he wrapped his arms around his wife,

"I'm not sure," Elizabeth began to tell him about what Simon Pietersen had said to upset their little one. Jack could see how fired up she was about it,

"I know he's a kid and I'd hate to think he meant to be malicious about it but it makes me so mad." Jack rubbed her back soothingly.

"The questions were bound to come Bea, you know that."

"I know, but I would have liked for him to get to those questions on his own out of curiosity not in forming doubt." She replied.

"I know sweetheart, but we're here. We will get him through it. You leave no room for doubt in loving that kid. He's smart. He knows you love him like crazy.

"I do," Jack hugged her tighter.

"I love you," he murmured against her temple. Elizabeth looked up.

"I love you too Jack."

That evening as they tucked him in and kissed him goodnight Logan reached out for Elizabeth's hand.

"Yes baby?" She asked looking back at him and watched as he swallowed,

"Can I call you Mom?" Elizabeth's eyes welled up with tears and pulled him into a hug,

"I would love nothing more than to have you call me Mom."

"I love you Mom,"

"I love you kid, so much." Jack's wiped a tear that escaped his eye. After tucking Logan back in he held a hand out to her and they left their little boy to sleep.

"Mom," Jack said with a smile as they stepped out of Logan's room.

"Are you okay with that?" She asked,

"Of course I am. To be honest I'm surprised he's waited this long to ask you. I know he's been wanting to ask since before we were even married." She looked surprised at his response,

"Sweetheart, you're the only mother he can remember. Yeah he knows Emily was and she will always be his mother and that she loves him but all the memories he has of her are ones I've told him about. He barely remembers because he was still so little. He barely remembers life before we moved to Sydney, every memory, every wound he has had since has been wrapped up in you. You deserve to be called Mom and he is very lucky to have you. We both are." Elizabeth tearfully hugged Jack. Her heart so full of love for Logan, Jack and their family.

"Mom, Papa called. He asked if what time we were going to get there on Friday?" Logan said as he greeted her with a hug when she arrived at Abigail's for their family lunch. Abigail winked at her friend. 'Mom' was still new to all their ears that every time he called Elizabeth Mom they all couldn't help but smile.

"Ahhh that's what my missed call from him was about. I was driving and my blue tooth didn't connect. I'll give him a call now. Did you have a fun morning?"

"Yes, the best. Aunt Abigail let Cody and I bake with her."

"She did? That Aunt Abigail is pretty awesome," She replied as she placed a kiss on Abigail's cheek. It was Saturday morning and she had dropped off Logan prior to her gym class and errands.

"I'm just going to give Papa a call. Did you want to help Aunt Abigail set up the family table?" Logan nodded enthusiastically before making his way behind the counter to grab napkins and cutlery.

"Like a well oiled machine these kids," Abigail observed with pride making Elizabeth chuckle.

"They learn from the best. Sorry, I'm just going to give Dad a quick call."

"Go ahead, whilst you're the first here and there's no cute baby distracting you." Abigail teased knowing that Henry William Coulter has his godmother wrapped around his little finger.

"Hey you're just as a bad,"

"I don't think so my friend." Elizabeth laughed and headed outside to call her Dad.

"Hey Pops. Your grandchild has asked me to confirm details with you pertaining to Friday." William smiled,

"He makes for a very good personal secretary,"

"That he does. Sorry I missed your call. Bluetooth issues."

"First world problems I see. No worries. Mrs Hahn just wanted to know if you guys will make it here for dinner."

"Ahh, yes to dinner if it's not too much trouble. Jack is working from home that day so we should be able to go as soon as school is finished."

"Ha too much trouble. You know she lives to cook for you and for your family. I have come quite obsolete in that household. It's always Bethi this, Logan that, that Jack is a great fellow." Elizabeth laughed heartedly,

"As long as you're not developing a complex about it Daddy."

"It's nice to not be to focus of all the fussing to be honest. Ever since your Mother passed, I feel as though Mrs Hahn took it upon herself to add another child to her looking out for list."

"She's just looking after you Dad. She doesn't want you to feel neglected or alone. I'm pretty sure she and Mom are in cahoots."

"I wouldn't put it past your mother to make sure anyone and everyone who was in my world would look out for me."

"She loved you so much Daddy. You can't blame her for wanting to make sure that you're well taken care of. Had the shoe been on the other foot, you know you would the same if not more."

"I do. How are things in newlywed land?"

"Not too bad. Living with someone else aside from Leland or Rosemary is definitely different. Adjusting to taking more than myself into consideration in making my daily decisions has been a learning curve. Not to mention you add the schedule of a very active seven year old to that full time…it's been an adventure. A great one, but an adventure all the same. I am proud to say that I have not forgotten to pick him up from a practice or a play date yet. In saying that, I love it. All of it."

"Have you two decided on Christmas?" He asked gently. It was already December and they had not made any solid plans. Elizabeth if she were honest wanted to spend their first Christmas a family with their family, but she knew that Jack felt obligated to take Logan back to Hope Valley for Christmas so that he could be with Emily's family during the holidays as it's the one holiday he could spend with them. It was a bone of contention that they were both unwilling to push the other on.

"No. I don't want to push him and he doesn't want to push me. Neither one of us is ready to concede at this point. I know it's selfish, but I want to spend our first Christmas a family here at home."

"Beth, may your father play devils advocate for a moment."

"Usually that means you're taking his side," she muttered beneath her breath someone good naturally making him chuckle.

"The most important thing about Christmas is being with the people you love. This is your first Christmas a family of 3, does it really matter where you are?" Elizabeth sighed,

"No, but it would be nice to not be in the company of people who hate me."

"Take that out of the equation, your personal discomfort. If Jack said to you that he wanted to take you away for Christmas and New Year, lets say to traipse around Europe you wouldn't care that you were away for Christmas."

"Yes I would," she protested,

"Maybe not as vehemently as I do right now, but grrrr point taken."

"And Beth, they don't hate you."

"Oh yes they do."

"They hate that their daughter is gone, they don't hate you."

"Maybe, but they also hate me a little."

"They hate that there's someone in place of their daughter in the lives of their son in law and grandchild, but they don't hate you. They don't know you. They don't get to hate you. Don't give them that power." Elizabeth looked heavenward and sighed,

"Fine. How did this turn so quickly?" She asked outloud making William chuckle.

"I love you Bug. I know the daughter I raised. I know that despite her discomfort when push came to shove she would do what's right for the people she loves. Whether or not we had this talk you know as well as I do that you were going to put it on the table because you know the decision is killing Jack on the inside. Because you know, just like you he would love nothing more than to spend your first Christmas together in the home you have created together."

"Stop,"

"Am I wrong?"

"When is William Thatcher ever wrong?" She asked sarcastically.

"Are you sassing me child?" He asked in amused disbelief,

"Not at all, but I wish Mom were here, at least she'd be on my side."

"Dream on kid, you know your Mom would have been harsher that I was."

"A girl can dream father."

"I'm sorry my Ladybug, sometimes Daddy has to give the tough lovin'."

"I appreciate it. I don't like it, but I appreciate it."

"Call if you need to talk more okay?"

"What for? You're no comfort to me. I'll have Jack call you, he may have better luck."

"Funny Bug, real funny."

"Well rumour has it I got my sense of humour from my father."

"Touche"

"Bye Daddy, I love you. Talk to you tomorrow."

"I love you too Bug."

Elizabeth made her way back into the Diner to help Abigail in the kitchen before the rest of their crew arrived. She knew that her Dad was right. Had they just decided to start family vacation before Christmas, it would not have been an issue. It was the destination that made her uncomfortable.

"Hey Sweetheart, I just wanted to call to see if you and Elizabeth had made a decision about Christmas?" Charlotte asked. She had called Jack trying to determine whether they needed to fly to Sydney for Christmas or plan Christmas in Hope Valley. She and Bill were open to both, it was just a matter of getting Jack to commit to one. She knew that he felt the obligation to bring Logan back to Hope Valley for Christmas so that he could be with his cousins and his grandparents on Emily's side. She also knew that Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to spend their first Christmas as a family in their own home.

"Not yet Mom. I was going to talk to Elizabeth about it today. We're having lunch at Abigail's and Logan has a birthday party so I was going to take her for a walk and talk it out."

"You know she's going to say Hope Valley to make it easier for you."

"I really wish she didn't have to,"

"So why make her?" Charlotte asked.

"Mom, it's not that simple."

"Hear me out. You stood before God, your family and friends to love and honour right? Through good times and bad. You married her knowing that it was a new beginning for you both. I understand why you're of two minds about Hope Valley or Sydney. But Baby, it's okay to be selfish. I know you want to spend Christmas as a family in your own home. If that's what you want, it's okay to make it so. Emily would understand why you would want this Christmas be a Christmas you spend in your home, celebrating your new life. It doesn't mean you love her any less or that you're not honouring her memory. You can't base your decisions based on honouring her memory, that wouldn't be for the right reasons either."

"What do I tell her parents?"

"That you will bring Logan there in the New Year."

"I'm just trying not to make things worse?"

"Jack, they're going to blame Elizabeth whether or not you bring Logan home for Christmas. They have long since decided to resent her and nothing you can do can change their mind. You can't use Christmas as a tool of bargaining. Do you really want to spend your first Christmas as a married couple putting out fires? On eggshells and using yourself as a shield to ensure that Elizabeth doesn't get hurt? You know your super powers don't extend that far. Do you want the first Christmas you spend as a family forcing Elizabeth to live in the shadow of your ex wife?" Charlotte was met with silence,

"I'm sorry Sweetheart. I know this isn't easy for you. I just want you to start making decisions for yourself. I don't want Emily's family to hold your life for ransom."

"I get it Mom I do. I'll talk to Elizabeth and I will let you know as soon as possible. Whatever decision we make Elizabeth and I will make it as a family."

"Okay Sweetheart. Good luck."

"Thanks Mom, I love you."

"I love you too Jack."

Jack arrived at Abigail's last. By the time he arrived they were all sitting at the table and Henry William Coulter was in the arms of his favourite human being, Elizabeth Thornton. Jack smiled as she held the little baby in her arms as he slept, all the while being engaged in a lively conversation with Carson and Leland who were teasing her mercilessly as they normally do. She looked up as he walked in flashing him a smile he knew she reserved for him. She had an uncanny way of making feel like the most important person in the world regardless what she was juggling in her hands. He bid them all hello and dropped a quick kiss on her lips before sitting beside her.

"Hi Baby. Did you finish all your work?" She asked. He had gone into the office that morning to put out a fire.

"Yeah, all set. You up for a walk after we drop Logan off at the birthday party?"

"Of course." She replied knowing he wanted to talk about Christmas. She placed a hand on his knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze as if to say that they would work it out. Jack draped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple.

They drove in contemplative silence after dropping Logan and Cody off to their birthday party. Peter who was now a legal driver was going to pick them up after and take them to the movies before dropping Logan back home to the Thornton's that evening. Elizabeth smiled as he pulled up to her favourite thinking spot. Wordlessly they made there way to the end of the pier and sat side by side.

"Let's go to Hope Valley," Elizabeth said quietly. Whilst he knew in his heart she meant it, he couldn't help but see the cost in her eyes.

"You don't want to go."

"No, but we're a family. It doesn't matter to me where we spend Christmas as long as we're together." Jack wrapped his arms around her.

"I called Emily's parents. I told them that we will bring Logan to Hope Valley after the New Year. That this is our first Christmas married and as a family. That we were going to spend it in our home."

"How did they take that?"

"As well as you would expect. They were okay in the end."

"Are you sure? We can make it work. Your Mom and Bill are there. We can spend Christmas with them."

"You mean the two people who are waiting for my phone call so they can hit purchase on their plane ticket to Sydney for Christmas?" Elizabeth chuckled.

"Jack, I don't want to make things more difficult for you. Your relationship with them is already in a precarious position, I don't want to be the reason that widens the gap between you."

"I'm not willing to make decisions that affect our marriage and our family based on what their reaction would be. You and I are a team. Whilst compromising is inevitable, I choose what I'm willing to compromise and our marriage is not one of them. I am not going to make you spend our first Christmas together feeling like you're under fire."

"Thank you." She said hugging him tightly appreciating that he understood.


	32. Chaptef 32

"So Christmas Day dinner at ours with the whole crew? Christmas Eve Abigail has invited us to theirs if we were in town."

"Sounds like a plan. Logan is going to love waking up Christmas morning at home."

"Admittedly, I am right there with him. I am looking forward to our first Christmas in our own home." Jack smiled at Elizabeth,

"You can start decorating now." She grinned,

"Will you help me?" She asked kissing him on his chin, his cheek, and nose making him laugh.

"As if I even had a choice." Elizabeth looked up at him with a pout,

"Of course you have a choice, I won't force you into a Christmas spirit if you refuse to have one."

"Clearly! Yes, I will happily help you decorate our home with the Spirit of Christmas."

"Thank you Baby,"

"With all seriousness, nothing would make me happier than getting our home ready for Christmas."

"We should also book our tickets for Hope Valley. Hopefully givingo Emily's parents a date would soften the blow. We can leave on the second if that works for you. That will give us about three weeks. You decide how long you'd like to be in Hope Valley, and then we can head to California and hit all of the theme parks."

"You realise you traded our honeymoon in for a family vacay at Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm, and every other theme part in that vicinity."

"We had our honeymoon and it was magical. But I feel it's important that we do family-moon as such with Logan so he's part of that celebration too." Jack wordlessly tightened the arms that were wrapped around his wife.

"Hope Valley isn't going to be a picnic." He said softly,

"I am well aware, but hey we're in this together. It's not like I'd send you there on your own even if you'd let me."

"We are in this together. I want you to know, you and I we're a team. I would never,"

"Hey, I know." She assured him.

"I know that you would always protect me and our family comes first."

"It means a lot to me that you're so confident in that."

"Of course. Jack, I love you but I wouldn't have married you if I didn't know that in my heart.

After their afternoon by the pier she and Jack headed to the department store to find a tree. They were going to surprise Logan that evening with putting the tree and stockings up. Jack watched Elizabeth's child like wonder as they wandered through the Christmas section. How her eyes lit up in excitement as she pointed things out to him. After much deliberation they had agreed on a tree that wasn't too big, but definitely not small. It would require Jack's incredibly long stature to place the angel or star on top of the tree as Elizabeth would not be able to reach it. Elizabeth had collected ornaments from her travels and had pieces from her childhood. Jack and Logan didn't have Christmas in Sydney last year so there was no tree with ornaments for them. When Elizabeth had asked whether Jack had saved any from their home he was non committal. They chose a colour scheme and a few signature pieces for their tree.

"We can have Logan pick an ornament for the tree. He can choose one every year."

"That's a great idea sweetheart."

As expected Logan Thornton was more than excited to find out that they would indeed be spending Christmas in Sydney. Even more so when he saw the box with their Christmas tree in it. He couldn't wait to put the tree up. As Jack cooked dinner, Elizabeth made gingerbread dough for them to cut out and bake later that evening. Jack knew that Elizabeth was trying to make memories for Logan and traditions as family.

"Hey Mom, can we visit Santa?" Logan asked his face full of frosting as they decorated their cookies. Tree was up and decorated. Stockings hung and Christmas décor all around their home. Elizabeth smiled at the sight of him,

"Sure bud. Why don't we do it next week on Thursday night if Dad isn't working late. Otherwise we can probably go when we're at Papa's over the weekend."

"Yay!" He said happily resuming his best work at covering a cookie with icing that completely outweighed the cookie.

Christmas festivities began not long after their trees and decorations up. When they got to the Thatcher residence Logan was thrilled to see that Papa Thatcher had waited for his arrival before any form of Christmas cheer adorned their home. Logan had opted to see Santa in Canberra so that Papa Thatcher would be there with them.

"Where are you three off to?" Elizabeth asked suspiciously as she watched her dad, her husband and son attempt to sneak out of the front door without detection.

"Nowhere," her Dad answered guiltily making her laugh.

"Clearly your lying skills were inherited Elizabeth," Jack said teasingly shaking his head at William who shrugged his shoulders sheepishly.

"Details are not required with the exception of whether or not you require dinner." Elizabeth replied as she chuckled.

"Probably not, is that okay?"

"Yeah I'll let Mrs Hahn know. I'm not here tonight. Rosie and I are hanging out. We're probably going to grab dinner and finish off Christmas shopping."

"Everything okay?" Jack asked concerned,

"Yeah Mommy needs a time out from baby duties. Lee called me to banish her from said duties. That's why they're also at her parents this weekend."

"Sounds like a good plan. You both need some down time. Enjoy your evening. If Lee is happy to drive you ladies to your destination I'm happy to pick you up so you can have a couple of drinks."

"Thanks Babe, we should be okay." Jack dropped a kiss on her lips as Logan wrapped his arms around her middle.

"Bye Mom. Have fun. Kiss me goodnight when you come in?" Elizabeth smiled down at her little boy,

"As if I wouldn't." She replied showering his face with kisses making him giggle.

That evening Elizabeth and Rosie opted to shop first before dinner that way they felt as though they had gotten chores out of the way and they can just enjoy dinner and catching up.

"So are you ready for Hope Valley?" Rosie asked.

"Is ready really a realistic possibility here?" Elizabeth asked. Rosie smiled sympathetically,

"At the risk of Lee killing me, allow me to spoiler alert your Christmas present?"

"He's going to kill you. You know he will."

"He'll understand. To be honest he would have totally done it had he seen you first."

"Okay, shoot."

"We're going to Hope Valley to visit his Mom so the little man can spend quality time with Grandma as she couldn't come for Christmas?" Elizabeth squealed and threw her arms around her best friend,

"For real?"

"Same flight and everything."

"I love you. I love all of you. Thank you!"

"You're welcome. The timing just all fell into place. None of us felt comfortable with you going there without one of us. I mean we know that Charlotte, Bill and your Aunt will be there but we figure you could use as many friendly faces as you can have."

"That's for sure,"

"Besides you and I can take a trip down memory lane. Visit our old haunts."

"It's Hope Valley, it would be a very short trip," Elizabeth said laughing.

"True, but it'll be fun to see the places we spent most of our time at."

"Are you guys staying with the Aunt?"

"Yeah, Lee booked a couple of nights at the Hilton for some 'us' time while gramma looks after the little man."

"Does Jack know?" Elizabeth asked as Rosie nodded.

"Lee wanted to make sure it didn't seem as though we were thinking the worst that we didn't think he would take care of you. We didn't want to step on his toes."

"Was he okay?" Elizabeth appreciated that they ran the idea by him first.

"I think he was relieved to be honest. I think he needs the extra friendly faces too. He's scared Bea."

"I know. I don't know how else to tell him I'm not going anywhere."

"He knows that. He just doesn't want you to be hurt. After everything you've been through together he just doesn't want to add to that."

"It is what it is. I happen to love a man who loved someone else before me. Who had a life before me. It's a part of him. Of who he is. Of the man I love. By a stroke of good fortune I got the greatest kid out of it too." Rosie wanted to correct Elizabeth. That Jack had loved her first and always, but she knew it would only pinch at her heart.

"You're pretty spectacular Elizabeth Grace Thatcher Thornton,"

"You're pretty awesome yourself Rosemary Leveaux Coulter. What do you say you and I do some shopping for us? I could use a few things for the trip."

"That sounds like an excellent plan. I'm so glad we got our to buy lists out of the way. The fun shopping begins!"

Elizabeth and Rosemary made the most of their night out. The stores were open late due to Christmas so they enjoyed going from one favourite store to another and sneaking in a late night dessert before heading home. Elizabeth enjoyed her girl time with Rosemary. She had to admit she needed it as much as the new Mommy did. Elizabeth left her purchases in the car saving them for tomorrow not wanting to wake up the household with rustling. As she drove into their driveway she had turned off her lights and quietly parked her car. With a grin she headed straight for the barn not bothering to go into the house. She grabbed the clean T-shirt she kept in the barn cupboard and changed into one of her spare boots before getting Blaze ready. The moon was bright giving her plenty of light to ride in, but as a safety precaution she slapped on the headlight onto her helmet in case she needed it.

It was a slow and peaceful ride with her mother's horse as they both enjoyed the summer night. Elizabeth took the time to pray about the weeks ahead, their first Christmas and new year together. Their trip to Hope Valley. The relief and gratefulness she felt that Lee and Rosemary would be there for support if required. It made the upcoming trip less daunting.

"Let me guess your wife has snuck out for a moonlight ride?" William said finding Jack sitting on the back porch steps with a mug of tea in his hands. Jack looked up and chuckled,

"Signature move?"

"That kid rode before she could walk. I'm convinced she's part horse to be honest. When she was little she would just wander off and every time we'd find her in the barn. Usually staring at a horse right in the face as though they were exchanging an incredibly profound conversation."

"Kid and horse whisperer my wife."

"That she is. What are you doing up so late?"

"It sounds crazy but I can't sleep soundly unless she's beside me." William patted his shoulder,

"I was the same way with Grace,"

"I can't imagine a life when she wasn't beside me." Jack admittedly softly,

"Are you worried about Hope Valley?" William asked,

"I wish she didn't have to face what we have to face,"

"She knows that. She knows you're worried. She will be okay because she knows you would do everything you can to protect her. To make sure that she's okay. She's strong Jack, you don't need to coddle her. You're a team. Let her be a functioning part of that team. Don't underestimate her strength. My little girl is kind but fierce, she can hold her own. Allow her to hold her own. It's important."

"I will,"

"Good, here comes national velvet." William said as Elizabeth walked towards them face bright with a smile,

"Ahhh two of my favourite men. What are you two doing up so late?" She asked knowing from looking at her watch as she brushed down Blaze that it was well

After two in the morning.

"Well you forget after many years with your mother I have grown attuned to the littlest of rustles that come from the barn which normally meant my wife or my strong willed middle child, most times both were sneaking out for a moonlight ride."

"Sorry I woke you Daddy," Elizabeth apologised kissing his cheek,

"Nonsense, I admittedly love it and have missed it." William replied giving her a brief side hug. Elizabeth knee how much he loved and missed her mother. In his every breath he thought of her. She admired their love.

"Let's go for a ride tomorrow Daddy, I think you could use it." William nodded in agreement. Whilst he rode, it wasn't that often these days and it was usually to help Mr Hahn.

"I would that Lady big. I'm going to head to bed. You two don't stay up too late. We all know there's a certain early riser who'd be demanding to do a million and one things at the crack of dawn." Elizabeth and Jack laughed, her Dad was certainly well versed in Logan.

"Goodnight Dad," they said in unison as he headed back into the house.

"Did I wake you too?" She asked sitting beside him on the porch steps laying her head on his shoulder,

"No sweetheart,"

"Were you waiting up for me? I'm so sorry. I just thought you'd go to sleep after I sent you that message to tell you we were going round two of shopping post dinner."

"No need to be sorry, if one is going to be honest I just don't sleep well unless you're within arms reach. It's funny what you get so used to in such a short time." Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his middles and he gathered her in his arms.

"I smell like horse," she said wrinkling her nose as she looked up at him,

"Between you and Logan I don't notice it anymore,"

"I don't know if that comforts or horrifies me," She replied as he laughed,

"You just smell like you,"

"Baby, that wasn't much better." Jack just laughed and hugged her tighter.

"You okay?" She asked sensing he was pensive,

"Yeah. I'm looking forward to Our first Christmas."

"And?"

"I love you. That I hope you will always know that."

"I do." She promised as he nodded placing his lips on her head.

Christmas was a whirlwind. They were all at the Stanton's for Christmas Eve. The kids were allowed to open their present to one another. They had drawn names out of a hat and who they pulled out would be their secret Santa. They were to either make something or pass on something they loved. They also had to do one act of service for their secret Santa. Logan had Peter so he and Elizabeth had arranged for Logan to tidy up Peter's room whilst he was out playing basketball with his friends. He had also left Peter a handful of his favourite snacks next to his bed. Becky who got Logan had painted wooden box that Logan used for his toys. She had painted it white, distressed it to make it look rustic and painted his name on the lid. When they all thought that Logan could not love Becky anymore, they discovered he apparently could. The kids presents to each other were meaningful and it warmed all of their hearts to see just how much they all loved each other.

The adult also had drawn names out of a hat to determine their own secret Santa. They too had the condition of an act of service and a small meaningful gift specific to their person. It was a tradition they had began in the last few years and one they truly enjoyed.

Christmas morning Elizabeth had woken first and checked on Logan to see if he had stirred. She smiled as he remained peacefully asleep cocooned under his blanket. She walked over to his bed and ran her fingers through his hair before planting a kiss on his forehead. As he opened his eyes he grinned at the sight of her,

"Merry Christmas Mommy," he said holding his arms around to her. Elizabeth gathered him in her arms and hugged him tightly.

"Merry Christmas my love. Did you have a good sleep?" She asked as he nodded.

"Did Santa come?" He inquired,

"I haven't been downstairs yet but I think I heard sleigh bells last night so I hope so. Why don't we wait for Daddy and the grandparents to wake up before we check." Logan nodded.

A half hour later Jack had found Elizabeth and Logan fast asleep on Logan's bed. His son burrowed beneath his wife's warm embrace. He had pulled his phone from his back pocket and took a picture of them before heading downstairs to get breakfast ready.

The smell of bacon had woken Elizabeth which meant Jack and potentially their parents were too. She gave Logan a brief squeeze,

"I think it's time to see if Santa came," she whispered in his ear. Immediately his eyes popped open and a grin formed as he shot up the bed in excitement. Elizabeth laughed as he took her hand practically dragged her down the stairs to join everyone. The look of pure happiness on his face to find his grandparents and Dad waiting for him surrounded by presents.

"Merry Christmas Logan," Logan torpedoed himself towards his father.

"This is the best Christmas ever," he whispered. Not having opened a single gift Logan knew he already had the best present of all, Love.

They had eaten breakfast first before opening presents. Logan had loved his gifts. He had a stocking, a lego set he had wanted, a few books, and clothes. Santa had come through with a bike whilst the grandparents had made sure he was sufficiently outfitted with protective gear. Both Elizabeth and Jack wanted teach Logan the importance of Christmas didn't lie in how many or how extravagant the gift but about Jesus. About love. About family.


	33. Chapter 33

Elizabeth had gotten a few things for Jack and vice versa. Things for their trip, a few books and clothes. When they had cleaned up the living room from post present opening Jack and Elizabeth went to clean the kitchen whilst everyone got ready for the day.

When Elizabeth had come out of the shower she found a note on their bed addressed to her.

"Mommy, when you're ready meet us downstairs for your Christmas surprise."

Elizabeth smiled and finished getting ready curious as to what awaited her downstairs. With everything prepped for dinner that night all she had to do was place things in the oven and some last minute tossing, but as they still had many hours before everyone came over she slipped on a pair of shorts, a shirt and converse. As she came downstairs she found Logan at the bottom of the stairs waiting.

"Hey little monkey, what surprise do you have for me?" Logan grinned and took her hand without saying another word. Her eyes watered at the sight of Jack, her Dad, Bill and Charlotte standing in a line surrounded by bouquets of balloons that were spread around their living room.

"What is this?" She asked. Jack handed a box tied with a bow to Logan to hand her.

"Merry Christmas Mom,"

"Thank you Baby," Elizabeth curiously opened the box and weeped as she picked up Logan's adoption papers stating that he was now hers.

"Really?" She asked looking up at Jack who had made his way to her side kissing her temple.

"Yeah Sweetheart," Elizabeth grinned and pulled Logan into her arms.

"Thank you." She said sincerely. While her heart never needed a piece of paper having it brought her a sense of peace and comfort. It made it official somehow.

"That's what we were doing the other afternoon when you caught us sneaking out. We had to go see the judge and sign the paperwork." William explained,

"Do you like your present Mom?"

"Are you kidding me? It's the best present ever. I can't imagine anything topping this present," She replied as Logan tightened the arms wrapped around her middle.

Christmas Night and New Years came and went quicker than they had anticipated. They spent a lot of time packing for their trip and being at the beach with family and friends. William and Abigail had taken them all to the airport on the the day of their flight.

"You be brave Bug. You got this," her Dad whispered in her ear as he hugged her tightly.

"Thank you Daddy,"

Jack had arranged for a company car to pick them all up to save Elizabeth from having to meet Emily's parents first thing at the airport. He had specially omitted what day they were arriving in case they decided to surprise them at the airport.

As they were only staying the week, they had decided to share an AirBnB with the Coulters who would then move to Lee's Mom's place after they left for California. The Coulter's were staying for an extra week. When they arrived at their accomodation and had unpacked, Elizabeth handed Jack his phone.

"Call them. We're here. Let them maximise the time they have with their grandchild." Jack kissed her forehead and nodded with a sigh. She held one of his hands as he dialled with the other,

"Hey, it's me. We're here. Did you want to meet us for dinner tonight at Pizza Express in Covent Garden?"

"Sure, what time?"

"6. We're going to keep Logan awake so he can crash without waking throughout the night in hope to reset his body clock to Hope Valley time."

"Okay, we will see you there."

"See you then," he replied before ending the call.

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up. She could feel the tension from his body.

"Baby, it's okay. We're in this together."

"I know and I'm grateful."

Bill and Charlotte were coming to dinner. Which admittedly made Elizabeth feel more at ease. Lee and Rosemary were conveniently having dinner nearby. Elizabeth went to get ready for dinner after she got Logan showered and ready. She had purposely taken a long shower in their en-suite taking the moment to pray. When she emerged from the bathroom in her dark jeans, sweater and boots she was ready. She found Jack sitting on the their bed staring at the bathroom door as though he was willing her to come out.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" She asked walking over to where he sat and ran her fingers through his hair. Jack looked up at her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Exhausted," Elizabeth held his face in her hands and kissed his forehead.

"It's a few hours and then we can come back. You can sleep. Let's get this out of the way. It may not be as bad as we're all imagining it to be." Jack pulled her to his lap,

"If it is?"

"Then we deal with it the best way we can. They miss their daughter. She was taken from them much too soon. It's natural for them to resent that someone else has taken her place." She understood where they were coming from. She always had.

"I love you,"

"I love you too. Now let's go," she said standing to her feet holding her hand out to him.

They had specifically headed to the restaurant significantly earlier. As they arrived Elizabeth had suggested that Jack and Logan wait for Emily's parents outside the restaurant whilst she, Charlotte and Bill grab a table for them. It would give them privacy to greet their grandchild without the distraction of his new step mother.

"Incoming," Charlotte said placing a hand over Elizabeth's in mid sentence. Elizabeth looked up to see Jack, Logan, Emily's parents, and her sisters. She smiled gratefully at her mother in love as they stood to their feet to greet them. Jack stood beside her as he introduced her to Emily's side of the family. Logan had flanked himself to the other side of her taking her hand in his. The gesture was not at all missed by anyone in the room. Charlotte and Bill stood in solidarity behind Elizabeth leaving no room for question that she had their love and blessing. Dinner was predictably awkward but they all did their best for Logan.

The following day they were going to pick up Logan to spend the day with them. At dinner they had ironed out the plans for the week. Most of it were what they had planned for Logan. There were a couple of family events that they were holding that they had told Jack they would love for him to come to. It was unspoken that Elizabeth was not included. When Jack was about to clarify in protest she placed a hand on his knee and shook her head. They had to choose their battles. He closed his mouth but she knew that it was going to be a discussion point.

They walked back to their accomodation in silence. Logan had hit tired and Jack was carrying him all the way back. As they put him to bed Elizabeth braced herself for the conversation they were inevitably going to have.

Jack found her in the kitchen with a mug of tea. She had one waiting for him knowing he would seek her out the moment she was out of sight.

"You and I are packaged deal, how can I reiterate that if you won't let me." He said softly,

"I understand what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it. But Jack, bringing me to those things would only rub salt to wound. They now know who I am and they have met me. They weren't rude today. That's enough for now. They don't need a constant reminder. Let them have this time with their grandchild, with you, a son they grew to love as their own. You have a week. Give them that." She said tiredly. Jack placed a hand on her cheek,

"Are you sure?" He asked as she nodded.

"Yeah, I am." Elizabeth replied

"I'm going to head to bed okay?"

"I'll be in shortly. I just need to check in at work." Elizabeth nodded and headed to their room. She changed into her pyjamas and curled up on her side of the bed and fell straight to sleep. Jack climbed in not long after her and wrapped his arms around her. Surprisingly she had not moved or awoken which she normally did.

Elizabeth woke early the next day still incredibly tired but needed to go for a run. She slipped out from his embrace and changed into her running gear quietly. As she closed their bedroom door behind her she was met with Lee sitting at the kitchen counter with Henry in his arms. She shook her head. She wasn't ready to talk and he understood.

Jack woke not long after to see his wife gone. The missing running shoes confirmed where she would be at. The fact the she left her phone and watch on the bedside table meant that she wanted to process.

Whilst Emily's family were civil, they were a constant reminder of the life he chose instead of her. She understood their anger and resentment. She meant it when she said that he and Logan should make the most of their limited time with them. She just didn't want to be a part of it. Elizabeth ended up at her favourite thinking spot by the river. She used to spend countless of hours there with her journal.

When she had returned everyone was up. Lee and Jack were cooking breakfast whilst Logan was helping with Henry.

"Good morning," she greeted as she placed her keys by the door.

"Morning," they replied in unison. Jack handed her a breakfast plate and kissed her on the cheek,

"Thanks, I'm not really hungry. I might take a shower first." He nodded as he watched her walk into their bedroom and close the door behind her. He looked at Lee and pointed towards their door. Lee nodded in acknowledgment before Jack went it to check on Elizabeth. He knocked on the bathroom door and he heard the toilet flush before she opened the door.

"Sweetheart are you okay?" He asked noting how pale she was.

"Yeah I may have just pushed too hard. I'm okay. I'm just going to shower okay?"

"Will you be okay?"

"Yeah Jack, I'll be fine." She answered trying to reassure him. She called him by his first name which was not at all lost on him. She closed the door behind her as he listened to her turn the shower on. Truth was she felt like a truck had hit her and every bone ached.

The shower had helped bring her colour back convincingly enough to send Jack off with Logan.

"Jack, it's his first full day back in Hope Valley, he's not going to want to go alone on the first outing. You can't not go because you don't want to leave me alone. I have the Coulter's. It'll be good to get some time in to visit with Aunt Penelope too. Meet us there when you guys are done. You don't even have to stay with him the whole time but he shouldn't go alone his first time. You can't tell me you're comfortable with that."

"I hate this," Jack stayed in frustration.

"I know you do, but he comes first." She reasoned.

"You know as well as I do having me there isn't going to make that environment better for him. That's okay. I'm okay with that. You need to be okay with that, it's not about us. It's about Logan."

Father and son reluctantly left their favourite girl in the capable of hands of Aunt Rosie and Uncle Lee. They were all having lunch at Aunt Penelope's which Elizabeth was looking forward to. She hadn't seen her Aunt since Lee's wedding and she was excited to see her.

After lunch Elizabeth went to put down Henry and when she didn't return from the guest bedroom after a half hour they found her asleep beside Henry on the bed. Pillows acted as a protective fort around her nephew.

She eventually woke a half hour later and joined them at the kitchen table catching up. Her Aunt walked over to her ran her fingers through Elizabeth's hair affectionately.

"Would you like some tea ladybug?" The gesture had brought tears to Elizabeth's eyes suddenly missing her mother.

"Oh sweet girl," Penelope said gathering Elizabeth in her arms.

"I'm sorry, it's been a pretty intense couple of days." She apologised questioning her own sanity at that point.

"You have nothing to apologise for. You just cry," Rosie raised an eye at Lee who acknowledged it with a nod. Had they had any doubt about whether they should have come, in that moment there was no question.

Jack hadn't anticipated their outing with Emily's family to be the whole day. Her parents had organised for mini shuttle to take the whole family, including all aunts, uncles, offsprings and grandparents to a waterpark. He understood that they were only trying to maximise the limited time they had. He knew Elizabeth was right. That he needed to be gracious with the access to Logan and to himself but he missed his wife. He knew there was a part of Elizabeth that was on self preservation mode. He knew as hard as she tried everything about their situation hurt her. Being at Hope Valley was a constant reminder. It made him question the wisdom in her coming. Whether it was going to be worth the cost that would come due.

By the time Jack got home Elizabeth was fast asleep. He had been messaging her throughout the day and she kept him up to date with what she was doing with the others. Logan was having a sleepover with his cousins that evening so he was looking forward to spending time with her. He couldn't help but be disappointed that she was asleep but he knew she wasn't feeling a hundred percent. He took a quick shower before joining her on the bed. He draped an arm around her waist and gently pulled her closer to him which was usually enough for her to stir and turn into his embrace but she stayed curled to her side.

"I love you Elizabeth, with all my heart." He whispered somewhat desperately in her ear willing her to hear him. Elizabeth's eyes opened. She woke the moment he walked through the door but she didn't want to talk. She didn't want to tell him what she was feeling. She felt terrible that he was caught between a rock and a hard place and she didn't want to make it harder for him. They were a team but how she felt made her feel alone. She didn't want to tell him how being in Hope Valley made her feel. To be flooded with all of their memories. To be met with life she never got to have with him. The life that someone else got to have with him. Her eyes filled with tears involuntarily. Jack heard her sniffle and realised she was awake.

"Hey, sweetheart." Elizabeth wiped her eyes before turning to face him,

"Oh my love," he said in anguish at the sight before him drawing her to his chest.

"I'm so sorry." Elizabeth remained still and silent in his arms unable to look at him.

"What can I do?" He asked.

"Nothing. I'm okay. Jet lag." She reasoned not looking at him.

"Sweetheart,"

"I'm fine Jack," Jack said nothing but tightened the arms he had wrapped around her. He brought his lips to hers and kissed her deeply, pouring all he felt into that kiss.

Hours later Jack woke to an empty space beside him. He slipped on his pyjama pants and threw on a shirt before searching for his wife. He found her sitting on the windowsill head on her knees as she watched the stars in wonder. There was a bowl of popcorn by her feet, which was signature Elizabeth. Taking the blanket from the couch he walked over to her and draped the blanket around her shoulders.

"I remember when you used to walk me home just so we can hang out for a few extra minutes. We would always take the longest possible route,"

"Around the river instead of through the bridge." He added sitting behind her so the she could lean with her back to his chest.

"Extra ten minutes,"

"I remember always being disappointed when we would get to your doorstep,"

"We'd end sitting on the porch steps anyway."

"Best times,"

"My memories of Hope Valley are wrapped up in you, in us, in the wonder of possibilities but now I look at it and…"

"You're finding it hard to find our memories because you think it's been drowned out by my life after you." Elizabeth shrugged.

"I'm finding this harder than I anticipated." She confessed.

"I feel like I'm trespassing on your history with Emily."


	34. Chapter 34

"Thank you for agreeing to come out with me," Elizabeth said sincerely as Georgia sat before her. She had left for her normal run as she did every morning but she found herself detouring to Georgia's home.

"I know I'm the last person you expected at your doorstep so early in the morning but I was going for a run and my feet just led me here. I know you're less than thrilled to see that Jack has remarried and the someone else had seemingly slipped in the place of your daughter. I am so sorry for your loss. I want you to know that no one can ever replace Emily. She was the love of Jack's life. She will always be Logan's mother. I wanted you to meet me without Jack and without Logan. Without an array of well meaning bystanders. I wanted you to meet me, so I can tell you that I am sorry that Emily is not here but that little boy is well loved. That he will always be loved." Georgia was taken aback by Elizabeth's passion and sincerity.

"Thank you," was all Georgia could say immediately humbled by the young girl before her.

"Would you like to come in?" Elizabeth smiled,

"As much as I would love to the moment Logan Thornton wakes up we will not have a peaceful conversation. Would you like to come for a walk and grab a coffee?" Georgia nodded.

"I would really like that."

"Great, I'll wait for you out here."

They had been sitting on a park bench with their coffee genuinely getting to know each other better. Elizabeth had told Georgia about Logan's academics and extra curricular. What he loved to do and what he was so passionate about. Elizabeth gave Georgia a unique window to her grandson. As much as Jack told her, he was a boy therefore he gave her highlights.

"Elizabeth, Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me."

"Logan tells me on Emily's death anniversary, her birthdays and his birthdays you would take him to the beach to send a rose to her and to pray for her." Elizabeth looked away,

"I know what it's like to lose a mother. I was lucky. I had a lifetime of memories I get to conjure up. I want him to remember her always. To know that she loved him. That had she had a choice she would not have left him or Jack. I wanted him to feel as though she was still there even if physically she wasn't. I know how much that means to me, how much comfort that brings me and I wanted him to have that." Georgia wiped the tear that escaped her eyes,

"I appreciate that. Jack and Logan, their whole worlds happiness is wrapped up in you. Whilst I may have resented it, know that I no longer do. You are exactly what they needed when they needed it. I am so grateful they had found you."

"Thank you Georgia. That means a lot."

Elizabeth got back to their AirBnB at around 10:30. Jack had began to worry knowing she wasn't feeling well and sighed with relief as she walked through the door.

"You didn't have to worry. I left you a note telling you I may be late." She said assuring him as she kissed his cheek. Jack pulled her to his lap and wrapped his arms around her middle,

"I always worry about you,"

"I know."

"Would you like some breakfast?"

"No I'm good. I'm going to shower and then maybe make some toast. What are you boys up to today while Rosie and I go shopping and take a meander down memory lane?"

Logan had another full day with his cousins but he would be home with them that night after dinner. Georgia had invited Elizabeth to dinner which Jack did not yet know. She would let Georgia tell him when they talked later.

"I'm not sure. Just going where Lee drags me."

"If we get back early we can go for a walk before dinner," Jack ran his fingers through her hair.

"I would love that." Elizabeth smiled and kissed his cheek before rising to her feet to shower. She knew that after the night before's confession that he would more than likely be in complete panic mode and she could understand why and she felt bad but she also had to be honest with him.

Elizabeth and Rosie enjoyed their few hours of meandering down memory lane. Hitting all of their spots. Doing what they used to love doing. They got a facial, walked through their favourite stores and ended it with High Tea.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm better today than I have been since that first night."

"I can see that. Yesterday wasn't a very good day for you."

"No, most of my significant memories of Hope Valley included if not were centred aroun Jack. When I got here I realised that I couldn't enjoy it. Yes because of how it all imploded but mostly because Hope Valley wasn't our place anymore. It was theirs. It was more theirs than it had ever been ours and the realisation of that hurt like a ton of bricks that I hadn't been prepared for."

"I'm sorry Bea,"

"Yeah, it kind of sucks to be honest."

"You'll always have Sydney," Rosemary said placing a hand over her friend's.

"That we do. Anyways. Nothing I can do about it now. It is what it is. We just need to make the best of it."

"Does Jack know?"

"As of last night he did. There was no point in lying so I just told him. The poor guy is stuck between a rock and hard place."

"Hopefully Lee is helping." Rosie said and Elizabeth laughed,

"The most loyal person in my life is helping the person who he thinks may be inflicting pain on his beloved cousin, Rosie he had a better chance with you. Maybe you should have swapped." Rosemary laughed knowing Elizabeth was right.

Lee knew that Jack was out of sorts. They all knew it would be a difficult trip and he knew without a shadow of doubt that it was as if not more painful for Jack than anyone else. Including Elizabeth. He was juggling too many guilt compartments. He felt guilt that he had moved on. He felt guilt because Elizabeth would feel the resentment from Emily's family. He felt guilt that he was happy that Elizabeth was in his life and they were married. He felt guilt that he was counting the days until he they left Hope Valley. He felt guilt because he knew every day, every hour and every minute they spent in Hope Valley hurt Elizabeth in one way or another.

"Have a drink buddy, just one." Lee said handing Jack a gin and tonic. Jack nodded and took the glass.

"How's things?"

"It sucks. I know how much I'm hurting her every minute that we're in Hope Valley. I don't know how to make that better for her."

"The sucky part about it is that there is no way to make this better for her. It is what it is and she knows that. She knew what she was getting into. It may be harder than she anticipated but she was as prepared as she could be. She'll bounce, she always does."

"At what cost Lee?" Jack asked,

"Hasn't she paid enough. At what stage does she get to say enough? When she does what am I going to do? How am I going to argue with her? How do I convince her that it's her, that it's always been her and I was just a coward. For the rest of her life she has to live with the fact that I chose someone else. That had she not died, I would still be with her." Lee placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I hear you, but you are much too hard on yourself. You two were still so young. With all that you had going on and the circumstances you were in. As hard as it is you both have to just keep moving forward and you have been. You'll have set backs, this is such a set back but it doesn't mean you're not meant to be together or that you should be second guessing your decisions. If there are two people in the world that were meant to be together, it's you two. Don't lose faith in that. Keep talking to Bea. Keep telling her how you feel. Ride this out."

"Thanks Lee, I really appreciate that. I'm really glad you guys are here. I know it means the world to her and to me too."

"Of course, it's what you do for family."

Jack and Lee were still at lunch when Jack's phone rang. She saw that it was Georgia and as much as he loved her he couldn't help but be weary of her.

"Hey Georgia, is everything okay?" He asked,

"Yeah Jack. Do you have an hour to your afternoon to meet me for coffee?" Jack looked at the time. He knew that Elizabeth and Rosemary had an afternoon planned so he had some time before they would go for their walk which he didn't want to miss.

"I can meet you in about a half hour if that's good for you," he replied looking at Lee who nodded.

"Great, let's meet at Costa."

"See you then Georgia,"

Lee walked Jack over to Costa before meeting the girls where they were having high tea. Henry was enjoying his grandmas doting uninterrupted doting.

"Leland," Elizabeth greeted as she laid eyes on him

"Ladies," he replied as he dropped a kiss on his wife's list and ruffled Elizabeth's hair before sitting down.

"How goes your day?" He asked,

"Pretty good. How was yours? Where's Jack?"

"He's gone to meet Georgia for a quick coffee but he said to tell you he will be back with plenty of time for a walk." Elizabeth smiled and picked up her phone.

"Don't rush your coffee with Georgia. We can walk after dinner. Promise. Love you."

Georgia watched as Jack's face broke into a smile reading a message she assumed was Elizabeth's.

"She's quite remarkable your Elizabeth," she complimented as Jack looked up.

"Yeah she is." Georgia had just told him of Elizabeth's visit that morning. He should have known.

"Georgia, you have to know that I loved Emily. That my love for her is not and will not be diminished simply because I love Elizabeth. Emily will always be a part of me. A part of all of us."

"I know Jack. I do. Whilst you may not need it. You have my blessing."

"Thank you."

Jack arrived back at the AirBnB to find Elizabeth napping with Henry in their room. Aunt Penelope had a business meeting that afternoon and she had offered to take him to give Rosie and Lee some time to take a walk and go down their own memory lane. Jack gently took Henry out of the pillow fort beside his wife and placed him on free standing travel bassinet they had. Taking off his shoes he slipped behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her gently pulling her towards him. Elizabeth stirred and moulded into his embrace not fully waking. Jack fell asleep shortly after. After he had found her by the windowsill the night before there was no sleeping for either of them so they had remained on the windowsill with his arms wrapped around her. Elizabeth awoke in his arms with her face to his chest. She guessed that he had moved the baby whom she could hear snoring lightly from his bassinet. She draped her arm across his middle and shuffled closer against him knowing it would wake him. She smiled as he opened his eyes and looked at her. She kissed him deeply as his arms tightened around her.

"I love you," he said softly between kisses.

"I know Jack, I love you too." She replied meeting his gaze.

"Georgia told me you saw her this morning," Jack's voice cracked with emotion,

"Thank you."

"That was as much for me as it was for you and for Logan. I needed her to meet me for who I am outside being the girl who took over from where her daughter left off. She was great. It could have gone differently but she was really gracious."

"She thinks very highly of you."

"I just needed her to know that I wasn't here to replace her daughter, Logan's mother or even your wife." Jack swallowed,

"My greatest fear is one day you will realise that the cost you've had to pay for loving me was too high and you didn't want to pay it anymore." He confessed. Elizabeth placed a hand on his cheek.

"Love doesn't keep score Jack. I love you. I vowed to love you for the rest of my days and I intend to keep that promise. You just need to remember that sometimes I'm going to need a minute to process." Jack nodded and brought his lips to her forehead grateful.


	35. Chapter 35

The rest of their Hope Valley trip went a lot better than any of them had actually anticipated. After Elizabeth had joined them for dinner it was like a cloud had been lifted, for all of them. Especially Logan. At dinner, they were able to see just how organic the connection between Logan and Elizabeth was. It wasn't something that was fabricated. Nor could they find a trace of Elizabeth having worked for Logan's affection. It was something that just was. They had an understanding, a rhythm to them was quite unique to them both. Like they had their own club that no one else was really privy to, not even Jack.

When they left Hope Valley, Elizabeth and Emily's family had reached an understanding and shared respect. Georgia acknowledged that Elizabeth and Jack's journey had not been a smooth one. It certainly wasn't as quickly conceived as she had assumed it was. The more she got to know Elizabeth the more she realised how ill conceived her perceptions were. The words she had uttered before Jack a year before that Logan had been heard echoed and haunted her. She couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to apologise and before they left she had invited Elizabeth to go for a walk with her.

"I wanted to say thank you for going out of your way to introduce yourself to me. For making me meet you as a person and not the person I had pre-conceived. I wanted also to say I'm sorry for,"

"Please don't," Elizabeth stopped her.

"I get it. Thank you for willing to meet me. For giving me a chance."

"Thank you for loving Logan as though he was yours. Whilst that sentence may sting, I understand the value of what you so unselfishly decide to do. I do not take that for granted. You actually remind me of Emily, selfless and loving. It sounds funny, but I think you and Emily would have gotten along very well."

The Thornton's were sorry to say their goodbyes to Hope Valley and especially the Coulter's but they were certainly looking forward to their family-moon. Logan was beside himself with excitement that he was like a little bear full of beans.

"Logan, sweetheart don't use up all your energy before we even get to California." Elizabeth said laughing as she caught him in her arms.

"I don't think that's possible Elizabeth." Jack replied amused. They were at the airport waiting for their flight. They had just said goodbye to their family an hour before and Logan had been talking non stop since even before they left for the airport.

Elizabeth and Jack had planned a vacation of a lifetime. They were staying at one of the Disney resorts which meant that there were at a theme park pretty much the whole time they were in Los Angeles. Even though they had hit Universal Studios, Knotts Berry Farm and other kid friendly touristy spots, their home base was Disney's Grand Californian Hotel and Spa.

Both set of grandparents had insisted on covering their theme park tickets for Disneyland, Universal Studios and Knotts Berry Farm as their Christmas present to all three of them.

Charlotte had surprised Elizabeth with a special day for herself at the Mandara Spa at the resort. There was a facial, a massage, along with a manicure and pedicure. It was a blissful day that did not involve a Disney character. On the evening post spa Jack had organised for Logan to be baby sat so he could take his wife out to a romantic dinner. As they dined Jack kept his hand over hers. As much as he was enjoying their time as a family, he was also missing the alone time with his wife. They had been a party of three with no break until that evening. Elizabeth chuckled as he kept leaning over to her to kiss the side of her head.

"Jack Thornton are you missing chaperone free time with your wife?" She teased knowingly. They had not been alone since they left Hope Valley, and when they were all together Logan monopolised Elizabeth which Jack nor Elizabeth minded, but they were beginning to miss adult conversations and having their own time together.

"Admittedly yes, the kid's cute but needs to learn to share." He answered making Elizabeth laugh.

"Well you're about to love my father a heck of a lot more in a few minutes."

"Not possible," he replied as she rolled her eyes. Their mutual admiration society game was strong.

"He has to fly to LA for a merger or something and he's only here for a few days but he arrives a couple of days before we head home. His merger is a done deal he just needs to sit in and sign paperwork. He has offered, if you're okay with it to fly home with Logan on our scheduled flight. Giving us the option to stay for an extra few days for some Daddy and Mommy time."

"Serious?" He asked as she nodded.

"Dad thought we could use some us time too. He figures we've been a travelling trio for over two weeks that we should have some alone time."

"Apparently, I could love your Dad more. Jack stated as Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

"Logan will be thrilled, it's been Papa William this, and Papa William that since we've left. "

"Don't forget Thunder," he interjected,

"How could I forget?"

As predicted Logan Thornton was more than excited to be seeing Papa William ahead of schedule. He couldn't wait to see his beloved Thunder who was now officially his since Elizabeth had Blaze.

Jack and Elizabeth has booked William a room at the resort as a thank you and to also enjoy Disneyland with him before they all went their separate ways. She and Jack we're moving out of the Disney Resort and flying to Mexico on the same day that William and Logan we're flying home.

"How are you doing Bug?" William asked as they had lunch. She had picked him up from the airport early that morning and taken him straight to his merger. Whilst he was in his meeting she did a little shopping.

"Better. It made all the difference taking that step with Georgia. It helped immensely."

"I'm really proud of you kid. You certainly are your mothers daughter."

"A little yours too Daddy," she replied placing her hand over his.

"Well you do have my nose." William teases.

"Well there is that." William in a very Elizabeth manner never took a compliment and always quick to brush it off. He always saw the best in Elizabeth so he only saw Grace in her not realising that she is every bit him as she was Grace.

Logan was more than happy to jump on the plane with Papa William in anticipation of seeing and spending a few days with his horse. Elizabeth and Jack had a couple of hours after they said goodbye to Logan and William before their flight to Cancun. They had considered a road trip but in the end opted for a more 'honeymoon' destination after two weeks of amusement parks and kid centred activities.

They were staying in Cancun for a few days and Jack spared no expense in booking their accomodation. They were going to spend most of their time in the resort with one day they had planned to rent a car to drive around to explore, visit Chichén Itzá and the Mayan Ruins which he knew was on Elizabeth's bucket list.

"Jack, this place is amazing." Elizabeth stayed as they walked into their room that had access to the infinity people that overlooked the ocean. Jack came from behind her to wrap his arm around her middle as he kissed her neck.

"You like?" He asked. Elizabeth turned her head and kissed his jaw.

"I love it. I love you. I want you to know that I don't need a fancy hotel room, I would be just as happy if we were in our own home. Being with you is all I care about, wherever it may be." Jack turned her around to face him and kissed her.

Elizabeth and Jack had an incredible time in Mexico. It was a perfect ending to their family moon and they were both grateful that William had offered to take Logan home to give them some time together. It felt like Hope Valley was such a long time ago. Whilst it had ended well, it had taken a toll on Elizabeth. Jack could see that she was exhausted from all of it: it wasn't until they were in Los Angeles did he see her relax and even then she was busy taking care of all of them. Mexico allowed him to look after her and cater to her needs. The day before they were to leave they had spent the day driving around. They had timed their climb of Chichén Itzá in the afternoon so that they could watch the sunset from the top.

"I love you, and I am so grateful that we get to do this life together." He whispered in her ear as she leaned against him, her back to his chest. His arms contently draped over her shoulder her as she hugged them to her. Elizabeth smiles, never tiring of hearing him tell her he loves her.

"We love you too," She replied as she gently guided his hand to her stomach. Jack stilled in realisation and as quickly as the penny dropped he spun her around to face him not letting her out of his arms.

"You're pregnant?" He asked full of hope and a wide grin. Elizabeth nodded in response. Jack's eyes filled with tears and he hugged her without a word. Elizabeth knew he was still processing

"We're having a baby Babe," she whispered as he hugged her tighter.

"Are you okay with this? I know we didn't plan it." She continued worried that his silence meant he wasn't ready for her to be pregnant,

"Hey, I am more than okay with this." He said pulling back slightly so he could look at her,

"I want this more than anything," Elizabeth nodded not sure if she was convinced. She didn't doubt he wanted them to have kids, she wasn't sure if he was ready for it to be so soon.

"Hey," he said cupping her cheek with his hand pleading for her to meet this gaze,

"There's nothing more in this world than to hold a baby we created out of our love in my arms. I can't wait to watch them grow inside of you and be a part of it all."

The walk down the ruin took significantly longer than going up as Jack hovered and flustered over Elizabeth.

"Jack, I'm okay." She tried to assure him somewhat amused. He was over protective at the best of times but Elizabeth knew she was in for a whole other level.

The drive back was quiet as Elizabeth fell asleep almost immediately. Her tiredness made more sense. He noticed that she had developed an unconscious habit of running her hand down her flat stomach. It was where it sat as she slept on the drive home. To him, she had never looked more beautiful and he was truly excited for the next chapter in their lives. They had both wanted to add to their family but hadn't planned for it to happen as quickly as it did. However he couldn't be happier and he was worried she doubted that.

As they pulled into their hotel Jack left the car with concierge and effortlessly carried his wife out of the car without waking her. She merely stirred and rubbed her nose against his shirt and snuggled closer. As he placed her on their bed he kicked off his own shoes to join her. As he lay down she unconsciously threw her arm and leg over him, her head resting on the nook of his arm. Jack admittedly loved how uninhibited she was asleep. Not long after, he had fallen asleep beside her.

At three in the morning he awoke with his arms and bed empty of his wife. He found her on the egg pod swing on their balcony holding a cup of tea whilst a bowl of popcorn sat beside her.

"Baby, that is not acceptable as dinner." He stated interrupting what looked like a deep thought. Elizabeth looked up and smiled.

"Sometimes it's the only thing that doesn't land me puking my guts out. As he looked back on their trip it now made sense when she would disappear. Elizabeth removed the bowl from beside her as Jack sat down.

"How many weeks?" He asked taking her hand in his,

"Thirteen weeks,"

"Honeymoon?" He said as she nodded,

"When did you know?"

"I suspected at Christmas but wasn't sure. I had made appointment for when we got back to Sydney but I ended up at Carson's old clinic when I fainted whilst out with Rosie on our 'down memory lane' day. I tried to brush it off as jet lag but Rosie wouldn't let me. She dragged me to the clinic,"

"You fainted? Are you okay?"

"Yeah baby I'm fine. Anyway he did the tests and confirmed I was pregnant. He also confirmed our little egg was a honeymoon baby making him/her thirteen weeks today. I wanted to tell you when we were alone. So we could enjoy it before everyone else made a big deal. That's the only reason why I waited until now." She explained knowing that he would be questioning why she hadn't told him.

"I wanted us to go to the doctor together when we got home. It just never worked out that way. For the most part I've been okay and it's been pretty smooth. As of today I officially passed first trimester. After we see the doctor we can tell the family."

"What did Rosie day?"

"I haven't told her. I wanted you to be the first to know. The doctor and I convinced her that I was running on empty which is why I fainted. My blood pressure was really low. Normal quirks she knows about me."

"Thank you. I'm sorry you had to go through the first trimester alone."

"To be honest until the doctor told me I didn't think it was true. I thought I was just tired. I didn't think I could or would get pregnant so easily. I was also worried about the first trimester."

"That's why you didn't go on the big rides?" He stated as she nodded.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm good. I've been lucky so far. I've been sick here and there but it's generally in the middle of the night. During the day I'm perfectly fine."


	36. Chapter 36

Elizabeth and Jack had decided to tell Logan before the rest of their family. Elizabeth and Jack had headed straight from the airport to the Thatcher residence anxious to see their little boy. William had offered to pick them up but Jack knew that Elizabeth would want to tell her Dad in their home because it would feel as though she was telling her Mom at the same time. They arrived on a Friday morning allowing them to have the Friday evening with her Dad. They had taken Logan out for ice cream upon their arrival. Whilst Logan was already asking for a sibling, they weren't quite sure how he would take the news.

"Hey Bud, there's something your Dad and I wanted to tell you." Elizabeth said as Logan had climbed on to her lap with his ice cream. Elizabeth had wrapped her arms around his middle giving his temple a quick kiss.

"What is it Mom?"

"You're going to be a big brother," she whispered in his ear. Logan stopped and spun around to look at her almost dropping his ice cream from excitement. Thankfully Jack had caught it.

"I am?" Elizabeth nodded,

"Yeah baby. You're going to be the best big brother in whole wide world." Logan three his arms around her neck.

"I can't wait."

"Me too bud. I love you Kid. Always always."

"I love you too Mom," Jack wrapped them both in his arms looking heavenward with gratitude.

Logan Thornton was sworn to secrecy until the official announcements were made. She was going to tell her Dad and then they would call Charlotte. They had an appointment with the doctor the following morning and then they would tell the rest of their crew. Early the following morning Elizabeth had woken her father for a walk. Generally it would be a ride but she didn't want to ride until she had seen her doctor and he had told her it would be fine to ride.

"Thank you for coming to get Logan. It gave Jack and I some time I guess we both needed. Hope Valley ended well enough but it admittedly took a toll on me and we needed some time for us to regain ground I may have started feeling that I was losing," William patted the arm looped through his as they walked their property.

"Of course Bug. You know I would do anything for you and for Jack. It's no secret how much I love that kid."

"Well, what if I told you we just increased the tally of grandchildren you had?" William stopped walking and turned to face his daughter with a beaming smile and tears running down his cheeks as she nodded in confirmation. William hugged his daughter with such fierce affection that it brought tears to Elizabeth's eyes. William knew that she had waited to tell him at their home in a special setting she shared with her mother as tribute in honour of her.

"She would be partying in heaven right now prepping our grandchild for the amazing mother that awaits them." Elizabeth buried her face into his chest, the image undid but comforted her.

Before they headed home Logan had begged to take Thunder out for a ride one last time knowing school started in a few days and getting back to Papa's house may take a couple of weeks if not a few. For this reason Jack and Elizabeth has consented as it gave them the opportunity to call Charlotte.

"Hi Mom," Elizabeth greeted as Charlotte answered the phone.

"Hi Sweet girl. Have you guys left Papa's yet?" She asked knowing they were due to leave that morning.

"Just about. We're leaving at 7:30, Logan begged to get a quick ride in with Thunder."

"That kid and that horse."

"That's what my Dad used to say about me too."

"Tree, apple." Charlotte replied teasingly.

"Speaking of apples, how would you feel about another apple from said tree." Elizabeth asked with a smile as Jack chuckled beside her. They grinned at each other when Charlotte became dead silent knowing she was processing

"Mom. Are you okay?" Elizabeth asked,

"My babies are having another baby?" She asked clearly choked up.

"Yeah Mom, we're having a baby." Jack confirmed

"Are you okay Sweetheart? How many weeks? Do you need me to send you anything?" Elizabeth laughed softly,

"I'm more than okay Mom. I'm thirteen weeks. Just passed my first trimester. No need to send anything. However, if you did want to come over and hang out I wouldn't be opposed to that."

"Dirty play Thornton,"

"I know. I'm sorry. I have a doctors appointment at 11 this morning so Jack and I will go straight to that from Dad's. Dr Brady has already done a once over, gave me the list of vitamins to take, confirmed how far along I am but wants me to check in with my Carson so he could refer me to an Obstetrician,"

"Wait, Hope Valley Dr Brady?"

"Yeah Mom, will fill you in on that story another time." Elizabeth promised knowing it would lead to more questions. Not to mention more worry.

"Okay, as long as you're okay."

"I'm more than okay Mom. I promise I'm good. We will call you tonight and let you know how we went with the doctor," she promised knowing there was no escaping that.

"Okay, you guys drive safe. I love you all."

"We love you too Mom," they replied in unison.

Carson had looked up surprised to see Elizabeth and Jack in his clinic knowing they had family dinner that night.

"Is everything okay?" He asked concerned as Elizabeth nodded handing him her results from Dr Brady's tests. They watched as he grinned widely reading the note from Dr Brady, Carson stood to his feet to throw his arms around Elizabeth happily.

"Congratulations Bea, I'm so happy for you both." Carson knew that Elizabeth worried about conceiving and had promised her if after a year of trying they were still unsuccessful he would get the process of testing under way.

"Thank you. I'm here for an official referral to see Carly." She said naming one of their good friends who happened to be an obstetrician.

"Absolutely, you're announcing tonight?" He asked as Elizabeth laughed,

"Yes because you and I both know you'd never be able to keep this secret from your wife."

"Or anyone for that matter," he admitted sheepishly overly thrilled for her. Carson was like a little brother to her and she adored him. He had also been a part of her journey since they met in Hope Valley.

Upon arriving home they unpacked, threw a load of laundry in the washing and put groceries away before having a quick lunch. Elizabeth had taken a quick shower and was ready for a nap when she heard the doorbell. Making her way downstairs in her sweats, hair still wet from the shower she opened the door to see Lee Coulter at the door.

"What your radar sent you here?" She asked as she was about to send him a text asking him to come over with Rosie before they headed to Abigail's for dinner.

"I think so. I was on my way to grab milk, bread and my car steered it's way here. I thought I'd say a quick hi before dinner. Check how you were after Hope Valley. We haven't really caught up for a proper debrief," which was true as their communication was FaceTime when everyone was around.

"How long you got? You up for a quick walk?"

"Sure am. My wife waved me out the door and said to say hi as I walked to the car. I guess I'm predictable." Elizabeth laughed.

Jack had to go into work to pick up something and had offered to take Logan so she could grab a nap before they headed to Abigail's for dinner that evening. She left him a note on the counter and handed her keys and phone to Lee as her leggings had no pocket. Rolling his eyes Lee slipped them in his back pocket as he has been doing for most of her life when she had no pockets and refused to bring a bag. Some things never changed.

"How was post Hope Valley?" He asked

"It was really good. Talking to Georgia early in the game made all the difference. We had an amazing time in LA. Mexico was incredible."

"That's great Bug. Happy to hear it."

"Hey Lee, how would Henry feel about gaining his own Elizabeth?" Lee stopped walking and looked at her,

"Are you?"

"Not that I can guarantee it's a girl but you caught my drift." She added.

"You're pregnant" he exclaimed excitedly gathering her in his arms as she nodded,

"Bug! That's amazing. It's totally going to be a girl." He declared confidently making her chuckle.

"We will see,"

"Are you going to find out the gender before?"

"I'm not sure. Initially no, but we'll see. Jack's also on the fence so we will cross that bridge when we get to it."

"Bug, I am so happy for you guys. How did the old man take it? Tears?"

"Well of course," she replied laughing knowing Lee would tease her Dad mercilessly.

Telling the others at dinner erupted in a loud chorus of congratulations and happy tears. Elizabeth was enveloped in tears hugs by Abigail and Rosie who knew how much Elizabeth wanted a child. That as much as she loved Logan she longed for one she and Jack made from their love.

"How are you feeling?" Abigail asked as they scooped out ice cream for dessert.

"Honestly? Exhausted but very happy and excited. I'm glad we have a few days before school starts. I could use the downtime. I was going to go back to school shopping but I may just do that online. Jack goes back to work on Monday, I go back Wednesday and Logan starts on Thursday."

"Why don't you and Jack let Logan sleep over tomorrow night! It'll give you a night together before your schedule returns to madness. You can have Monday to yourself and Jack can pick him up on his way home."

"Let me check with Jack. If he's for it we can ask Logan if he wants to which is a no brainer because he's talked of Cody the whole time we were gone."Abigail smiled.

"Thank you Abigail," Elizabeth said gratefully.

"I haven't really had any me time to process. The day to myself would be great." Abigail nodded knowing that as excited as Elizabeth was, she needed to process.

"Of course Elizabeth, and you know where I am if you need to bounce." Elizabeth hugged her friend tightly,

"It means the world to me."

As predicted, Logan had jumped at the chance of having a slumber party with Cody. Jack and Elizabeth had gone to church in the morning so they would have the rest of their Sunday together. Jack knew that Elizabeth tired easily and as well as she hid it she needed time to rest she never needed before. He had planned to cook dinner so they could just stay home and hang out. After lunch at Abigail's with their whole crew they headed home, changed into their comfortable lounge around clothes and spent the afternoon in hammock on their back verandah. Elizabeth mostly napped and read whilst Jack did some work on his iPad. It was nice to just be home and enjoy each other's company. To soak in the calm before the storm of a school year began. Every so often Elizabeth would stir in his arms warming her nose on his shirt as she slept.

Jack had carefully gotten up from the hammock trying not to wake her later that afternoon to get dinner ready. Elizabeth stirred but did not waken. He watched as her hand slid to rest on her stomach. As each day passed he realised there was no end to the growth of his love for her.

As Jack chopped vegetables he sang along with his current Spotify worship playlist. Elizabeth leaned against the door enjoying the view before her and feeling the swell of love and affection for her husband who uninhibitedly loved God. Whilst there were many qualities to love Jack Thornton for, his love for God was the top of her list. Quietly she walked over and wrapped her arms around his middle for behind resting her head on his back.

"Good morning sleeping beauty," he teased as he turned his head to plant a kiss on top of her head.

"I'm sorry I keep falling asleep on you on our alone time." She replied sheepish. Jack put the knife down so that he could gather her in his arms,

"Don't apologise. You needed the rest. You haven't stopped since we got engaged if not before that. Your body is adjusting to having our little nugget in your oven that's bound to take some energy,"

"That's for sure. What's for dinner? Can I help you with anything?" She asked rubbing his stomach with her hand.

"Would you like to set the table outside? That way we can watch the sunset as we eat dinner,"

"Yep, I'll go do that now." She said turning to go only to realise he hadn't loosened his arms from around her.

"Jack Thornton, whilst I'm not opposed to cuddling with you, you know this never ends productively."

"It all depends on what you define as productive," he replied flirtatiously. Elizabeth leaned towards him, lips hovering over his teasingly until he caught her lips in his. Wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulled her tightly against him.


	37. Chapter 37

Elizabeth enjoyed her day to herself. Jack had a very early morning and she had gotten up to make him breakfast for his first day back at work. As she kissed him goodbye and waved him off as he drove out of their driveway. She considered going back to bed and opted to change into her sweats to go for a run. She thought about leaving her phone at home as she mostly did when she went out for a run but knew that being pregnant was a game changer and more than likely ensue panic if she was unreachable. She had made sure that she checked with Carson that it was okay to still run and he confirmed as she was already a runner it would be fine, but to not push as hard. Elizabeth has an appointment with Dr Manning, her obstetrician and friend the following day. She thought until she spoke with Carly and she'd given her the once over she would take it easy, therefore she mostly walked the 6km stretch of the beach and the 6km back. With no where to go and no responsibilities she just took her time and enjoyed the scenery, prayed and just processed which was exactly what she needed. She went from being single for so long to now a family of soon to be four. There had been so many changes in such a short time. So many obstacles and hurdles along the way it was any wonder that she felt exhausted.

Like clockwork Jack had checked in with her throughout the day. When he arrived at work, during lunch at some point in the afternoon. He told her not to worry about dinner and that he and Logan would pick up pizza on the way home knowing she was craving pizza. As great as it was to have the day to herself, she was more than ready to have them home by the time they walked in early that evening.

"Mom, were home." She heard Logan call out as he walked through the door. Elizabeth smiled and went downstairs to greet them. Logan caught her at the bottom of the stairs and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hey Kid, did you have a good time with Cody?"

"Yeah Peter built a fort for us under the formal dining table,"

"That sounds fun." Logan began to tell her about everything they did at Aunt Abigail's. When he came up for breath Jack had sent him upstairs to unpack his overnight bag and throw it into the laundry before getting washed up for dinner.

"Hi Sweetheart," he greeted her with a kiss

"Hi Babe, how was the rest of your afternoon at work?"

"Productive, which was necessary as I will be in meetings all day every day for the rest of the week.

"Why don't you get washed up for dinner so we can eat early and you can do what you need to do so you're not up so late tonight."

School started in full swing. Life was back to busy. Jack had started a new project at work, Elizabeth had to get her class prepared for her when she had to go on maternity leave. Whilst her class was happy to hear that Mrs Thornton was pregnant they were sad that she would be seeing out their year.

Life as a new family expecting another was quite different from juggling their new family of three. Between all of their normal commitments there were now regular appointments for her and their baby.

"Are you sure you have the time Bea? I know you have loads on your plate." Auggie said,

"It's fine Augs, it's one night. I've never missed an orientation. I'm not going to miss one now." She assured him. They had their annual mentoring program orientation for CP and she has attended every single one since she met Auggie through it years ago.

"I'll be there about 5. I'm going to grab a quick shower, get dressed and head on over. I'll drive in."

"Sweet. I'll see you then,"

"Looking forward to it Augs," Elizabeth replied as loaded the dishwasher from dinner.

She and Logan dined alone that night as Jack has a late meeting run later than he had anticipated. He had missed Logan's bedtime altogether which didn't happen often but she knew that the new project was running him ragged. She had kept a plate in the oven warm for him just in case he hadn't eaten which was more than likely.

Jack had arrived home at midnight. Both Logan and Elizabeth were fast asleep. He saw the note that Elizabeth had left him in the kitchen.

"Hi baby, dinners in the oven. Sorry we missed you tonight. Eat and come to bed. Love you xE" beside his note was a drawing that Logan had drawn for him of their family.

Jack had quickly eaten as he finished up some loose ends at work before heading upstairs. He checked on Logan who was deep in his sleep clutching the bear Elizabeth had bought him as his 'welcome to Sydney' present years before. It looked a lot worse for wear since then but Elizabeth insisted on throwing it in the wash every chance she could.

Elizabeth was sleeping on her side of the bed hugging his pillow to her chest. Jack took a quick shower before sitting on the bed caressing her face with his hand. Stirring Elizabeth smiled at him sleepily and opened her arms out for a hug as he obliged willingly enveloping her into as hug laying beside her. She traced his face with her fingers lovingly,

"Baby you need to get some sleep," she murmured as she kissed him deeply. Jack felt his exhaustion fade at her touch.

"I can't wait until this project is finished." He confessed as she shuffled closer to him. Her bump that had finally began to protrude a little lay between them.

"You ready for tomorrow?" She asked, referring to his 6 month check with the doctor.

"As I'll ever be." He replied clearly worried. Elizabeth placed her hand on his cheek,

"We got this," She promised. Without a word Jack just held her tighter praying that he indeed was okay. Scared that his sickness would return robbing him, them of the life they waited so long for.

Elizabeth had let Jack sleep in knowing he was tired. She had arranged for Tom to take Logan to school and she had taken a day off to be with him at his doctors appointment as she did every time he had one.

Jack woke to the smell of waffles to find Elizabeth sitting on the bed with his breakfast tray.

"Morning Baby," Elizabeth greeted leaning forward to give him a brief kiss.

"Morning my love, breakfast in bed?"

"I thought you could use a sleep in and a little pampering. You've been working some crazy hours."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Babe, don't apologise. It's a season. We will ride it out. Why don't you eat up and I'll start getting ready?"

"Why don't you stay here and eat breakfast with me?" He countered leaning forward to take her lips in his once more. Elizabeth smiled,

"I guess I could do that." She replied.

Elizabeth kept her hand on Jack's knee as he drove somewhat pensively to his Doctors appointment. His hand would cover hers every so often trying to be as present as possible. She understood what frightened him for it was what frightened her too. She could only try and convey the bravery she prayed for. As he parked and ready to put his hand on the handle she reached for his hand.

"Let's pray?" Jack stopped, nodded and dropped a kiss on her forehead. Elizabeth took both of his hands in hers and closed her eyes and began to pray for him. As they both said Amen, it felt like a weight was lifted from Jack'a shoulders. He felt peace. He met her gaze with gratitude and love. She always knew what he needed. She placed a hand on his cheek,

"Let's go Baby. You got this."


	38. Chapter 38

They rode home in complete silence, unable to utter a word. Jack held Elizabeth's hand firmly in his, not letting go the whole drive home. Every so often he would bring it to his lips. Elizabeth looked out the window in prayer. Jack glanced at Elizabeth and saw the tears that escaped her eyes. He stopped the car by the side of the road luring her out her trance. She looked at him questioningly as she tried to wipe away her tears. Jack placed a hand on her cheek and wiped her tears with his thumb.

"I'm okay Sweetheart. I'm clear." He said softly knowing they both needed to hear it out loud. Elizabeth nodded with tears of gratefulness launching herself in his arms. Jack unbuckled both their seatbelts so that he could hold her.

"We have our whole lifetime ahead of us my love," he promised. It wasn't until the doctor had uttered he was clear that it got Elizabeth just how scared she was that she would lose him. Elizabeth clung to him unapologetically. Jack rubbed her back soothingly telling her repeatedly how much he loved her. When he felt her heart slow to it's normal beat he took her face with both hands.

"Everything's going to be okay."

When they got home they slipped back into their pyjamas and got back in bed both exhausted. Not knowing what the outcome would be Tom had offered to keep Logan for the night giving Jack and Elizabeth the opportunity to soak in the news.

Elizabeth was cocooned on her side, Jack wrapped around her as she slept. He lay awake praying with gratitude for the life they get to live together. He couldn't wait for what's ahead. He couldn't wait to meet their child. He couldn't wait to see what kind of brother Logan was going to be. For their future.

The days after his all clear passed rather quickly. Trying to get his projects done before Elizabeth gave birth wanting to take some time off in those first few weeks to be with her. Elizabeth was doing her best to leave her class in the best possible position to finish off the year well. From time to time she filled in as a mentor for Auggie when a mentor got sick. Between all of Logan's after school commitments they learned to juggle. They were incredibly thankful for Tom who more often than not was the reason they were able to keep the balls up in the air.

Easter had come and gone with a quick visit for Charlotte and Bill who were thrilled to see Elizabeth finally sporting an impressive baby bump that took some time to pop out. Charlotte had insisted and promised to arrive weeks before Elizabeth was due to ensure she would be there when Baby Thornton number two arrived.

As June approached Jack could see that Elizabeth tired more easily despite how hard she tried to hide it.

"Hey Bud, where's Mom?" Jack asked when he arrived home to find Logan at the kitchen counter doing homework.

"She's asleep in the study, she went in there to print off some stuff and when I checked on her she was fast asleep on the couch." Jack dropped a kiss on his head,

"Can you set the table for dinner bud?"

"Yep, I was just about to."

"Thanks buddy." Jack could see that there was a lasagne heating in the oven. He went to grab some bread from the fridge and found the Elizabeth had the garlic bread and salad ready to in there. He placed the tray of garlic bread in the oven and handed the bowl of salad to Logan who was setting the table,

"Keep an eye out on the bread for me?"

"Sure Dad,"

Jack found his very pregnant wife asleep on the couch one hand resting on her stomach and the other clutching her lesson plan for the rest of the year as she was finishing up work that Friday, finishing up the second term which was so close to her due date that Jack couldn't help but internally panic. He crouched down and kissed her forehead,

"Hi Baby," she greeted sleepily opening her eyes

"Hi Sweetheart, why don't you head on up to bed. I'll bring you some dinner."

"Hmmm," She replied closing her eyes,

"I'd let you sleep but I think you should eat a little something before you do,"

"Of course you do," She replied teasingly with a smirk. She opened her eyes and held a hand out to him so he could help her up.

"If I have to move from this couch I can make it to the dinner table. I was going to check Logan's homework anyway,"

"Come to dinner but you go straight to shower and bed. I'll check his homework,"

"Baby, you've been working all day." She protested,

"Just like you and you've had another 'person' to take care of, several in fact." Elizabeth chuckled and kissed him as he pulled her into his arms hugging her tightly against him.

"You're my favourite husband,"

"Really? I didn't realise you had more than one.

"Keep it on the down low would you?"

"I'll be sure to do that." He replied with an eye roll.


	39. Chapter39

"Ummm Dad, Mom said to keep calm," Logan began as his Dad answered the phone

"What happened? Are you both okay?" Jack said standing to his feet worriedly.

"We're okay. I'm okay. Mom's just gone into labour and she said to meet us at the hospital when you're ready. She thinks she's got awhile to go." Jack took a deep breath as he picked up his belongings before running out of his office to his car.

"Buddy, where's Mom?"

"Uncle Lee is currently strapping her into the back seat." Logan answered as Lee chuckled in amusement imagining that Jack was probably having a mini heart attack at that point.

"Can I speak to Mom Bud?"

"Mom, Dad wants to talk to you." Logan said handing the phone to his Elizabeth before climbing into the back seat with her as Lee and Rosemary sat out front.

"Hi Baby," Elizabeth greeted cheerfully,

"Hi Sweetheart, how are you feeling?"

"Not too bad. How was your day?" She asked making him laugh,

"I'm fine. I'm not the one in labour. How are you so calm?" Elizabeth laughed,

"I don't know. I just am. We're en route to the hospital."

"Okay, I'm about 5 minutes behind. Tell our little princess to wait until Daddy gets there,"

"I will do. Drive safe. Don't rush. We will see you when you get here." Elizabeth replied with a wince as another contraction hit. What she didn't tell Jack was that her water had already broken and her contractions were getting closer and closer together knowing he would drive like a mad man to get to them. Jack ran into the emergency room just as Elizabeth was being seated into a wheelchair.

"Hi Baby," she greeted happy to see him as she winced in pain.

"Hi Sweetheart." He replied giving her temple a kiss whilst giving Logan a brief side hug.

"Mr Thornton we're about to wheel her into the delivery, waters broken and her contractions are minutes apart."

"Of course, lets go." They bid their family goodbye to be whisked off to deliver Baby Thornton.

Jack watch Elizabeth in awe as she took every contraction in stride. She carried a conversation with the nurse in between and would pause when a painful contraction would come. She would squeeze his hand a little tighter but that would only be the only identifiable reflection of her discomfort. Within the hour Annabelle Charlotte Thornton was born.

"She's perfect," Elizabeth said softly bringing her lips to her daughters forehead and the nurse placed her in her arms.

"She is, you both are." Jack replied in a whisper. Grateful for the abundance of blessing wrapped in his arms as he held them both.

Jack kept a close eye on their daughter as they cleaned her up holding Elizabeth in his arms as she was stitched up. He could tell she was exhausted and fading.

"You can take a little nap Sweetheart,"

"No, I just want to hold her in my arms forever. I don't want to miss a moment." She replied tearfully overcome with emotions. Jack kissed the top of her head,

"I get that. You enjoy every moment."

Despite her best efforts to the contrary Elizabeth fell asleep. After Annabelle was cleaned up the nurse handed her over to her Daddy.

"I know you don't want to leave her, so if you're happy for me to I can let the family know she's given birth. That both Mommy and Baby are healthy." Carly offered placing a hand on his shoulder.

Jack looked up at their friend and Doctor and smiled with gratitude. Not only for delivering their baby and making sure that both his wife and daughter were healthy but for her thoughtfulness.

"If you could that would be great. I don't want them to worry, at the same time I can't pry myself from either one of them." Carly smiled.

"Of course. I will leave the reveal to you, I'll just let them know they're both healthy. The three of you enjoy your time together. Get acquainted." Jack nodded placed a kiss on Annabelle's head. Elizabeth stirred just as everyone exited the room they had settled them into. She watched as Jack stared at their daughter completely mesmerised.

"Clearly we know who's going to be bad cop here." She teased. Jack grinned at his wife sheepishly,

"I apologise now." Jack placed Annabelle in Elizabeth's arms who picked that moment to awaken and yawn.

"Hi Sweet girl. Welcome to our family my sweet sweet little girl. You are so incredible loved, and have been from the moment you were formed in my womb and our love for you only continues to grow. You my darling are called for greatness. You are the head and not the tail and the lives you will impact all of your days will be countless." Elizabeth spoke over their daughter. Jack followed her lead and prayed over her and their whole family.

A half hour later Jack had stepped outside to greet their family and at Elizabeth's request bring Logan in before everyone else. Logan walked into her hospital room looking a little uncertain. Elizabeth smiled lovingly holding out a hand to him,

"There's my little man. Where's my hug?" Elizabeth carefully handed Annabelle to Jack as Logan walked into her arms. She heard him sigh a little as she did making her hug him a little tighter before kissing the top of his head.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah Bud, a little sore but great now that you're here. Hey, you ready to meet your little sister?" Logan brightened,

"A little sister?" he asked excitedly. Elizabeth grinned nodding, she moved to make room for Logan who made himself comfortable beside her. Jack walked over to them as Logan held his arms out ready as he had learned to do with Henry.

"Logan, meet Annabelle your little sister. Annabelle, meet the best big brother in the whole world." Elizabeth said introducing their kids to each other. Logan beamed as he stared at his little sister in wonder. Jack and Elizabeth exchanged a smile. It would appear that Logan Thornton was very taken with his little sister. After a little while Jack had asked for their parents to join them in the room.

Both Charlotte and William had teared as Elizabeth introduced their little girl to her grandparents. Her name not at all lost on them.

"She's named after the two most incredible women we've been blessed to call our mothers," Elizabeth began, Annabelle was her mother's middle name.

"We wanted her to start strong and that began with her name," Jack continued as he wrapped an arm around his mother who was now blubbering with tears. Elizabeth watched as her father stared intently at the little bundle in his arms in wonder, the love for their little girl radiated so brightly from him.

"You okay Daddy?" Elizabeth asked. William looked up with tears in his eyes.

"She would be so incredibly proud that you named your daughter after her, and Charlotte." William replied as he reluctantly handed their granddaughter to her other grandmother. As Charlotte held her little namesake William wrapped his arms around his daughter.

"I'm incredibly proud of you Ladybug. She would be too." "I know Daddy, thank you."

Eventually they had managed to sneak in everyone in the room. After an hour Abigail had noticed Elizabeth's tiredness take over and herded everyone out of the hospital room leaving all Thornton's behind. Neither Elizabeth nor Jack felt comfortable with sending Logan home if they were all staying at the hospital that first night and had talked about it long before she was due. She knew that Jack would never leave her to go home to ensure Logan was with at least one of them so they had decided to give him the option to stay if he wanted to. It would mean that he would be sharing a cot would Jack, but truth be told they knew Logan would find his way beside her throughout the evening to which she certainly didn't mind.

Life with Annabelle Charlotte Thornton was certainly a new adventure for them all. As the first little girl in their little Thornton clan there was much to learn by all. Elizabeth enjoyed every minute of it. Her favourite moments were their mornings together, when she would feed Annabelle on the rocking chair that her mother had rocked her in.

A week after Annabelle was born and days after they came home was Emily's death anniversary. Jack woke that morning without his wife beside him only to find her in the kitchen making waffles whilst their daughter gurgled happily in her bassinet as Elizabeth sang worship songs to keep her entertained. He noticed the roses in the vase, the same ones she always had ready for them. Wordlessly he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. Startled not having heard him she reached over and cupped his cheek with one hand as the other lay over his against her stomach.

"Morning Babe,"

"I love you," Elizabeth turned around to face him,

"I love you." She replied meeting his gaze. Before Jack could say anything Annabelle had begun to fuss in her bassinet,

"You're not very good at sharing your Mommy kid. You get that from your brother don't you?" Jack said teasingly as he reluctantly released Elizabeth from his arms to pick up Annabelle. Elizabeth chuckled as she tended to the waffles,

"Or her father, it's all quite relative." Jack tried to be indignant but couldn't quite pull it off making her laugh. Logan Thornton shortly joined them for breakfast. It seemed every time Elizabeth saw him it felt like he kept getting older and older before her eyes and it made her a little a sad.

"What did I tell you about slowing down on the growing buddy? Mom's not ready for you to be older. I need you to be my little man for a while longer okay?" she greeted as he wrapped his arms around her waist wishing her good morning.

"Mom, I can't help it." He protested good naturedly. He definitely had his father's height and rapidly catching up to her.

"I know," she replied hugging him a little tighter. Logan too noticed the roses. He never knew exact dates, but he always knew the meaning behind them.

"We sending Mommy roses today?"

"Yeah bud,"

"Will you come?" Jack was about to step in but she shook her head,

"If that's what you want."

"It is," he answered taking the plate of waffles he offered him. To him he hadn't had it any other way, and to not go with him now would be sending mixed messages especially as it was post Annabelle.

Lee came over to watch Annabelle whilst the Thornton's did what they had to. Originally Rosie was going to come with Henry for a play date, but Henry was sniffly that morning and didn't want to risk exposure to Annabelle.

"Thanks for coming over," Elizabeth greeted as she opened the door. Lee gave her a meaningful hug,

"Of course," He knew that whilst she was in a different position from two years ago, or even a year ago there was a part of her that will always feel a twinge in her heart about what the day meant and what memories they conjured up, even if they had faded.

"No Facebook for you today okay," he whispered in her ear making her chuckle.

"No, I have learned that lesson once and it's one I don't need to re-learn." Unbeknownst to her Jack had changed his settings that ensured that he wasn't tagged on anything without his permission. Jack had heard the door bell and come downstairs with Annabelle in his arms.

"Oh hey there's my goddaughter," Lee cooed

"I'm great thanks Lee," Jack said dryly as Lee grinned unapologetically taking Annabelle from her Dad.

As per tradition the three of them walked to the beach and stood at the end of the pier to pray for Emily and for Jack and Logan to throw in their roses. Logan grabbed hold of her hand the moment they were done. She looked down at him as he smiled lovingly up at her. She dropped a kiss on his head appreciatively. Jack draped an arm around her shoulder as they walked back home. Elizabeth felt exhausted by the time they had walked through the door. There was a little tearing during child birth and whilst she was recovering well, she started to feel the discomfort as they neared home. Lee was reading whilst Annabelle was asleep in the bassinet beside him. Elizabeth dropped a kiss on his head after checking on Annabelle.

"If you guys are okay to watch her for a bit I might lay down a little for a nap before her next feed."

"Of course Sweetheart, do you need anything?"

"No Babe I'm good." She assured him placing a kiss on his cheek before making her way upstairs. Jack found her curled up on their bed in her lounge sweats asleep. He sat on the edge of their bed and stroked her hair. Elizabeth opened her eyes and smiled before closing them again.

"Sweetheart, are you in pain?" he asked noting the essential oils by her bedside table. Elizabeth opened her eyes,

"A little. I just need to lay down for a bit okay."

"How much pain are you in?"

"Not much, I just need to not be moving right now." She knew he didn't believe her.

"I'm okay Jack. Stop worrying." Without a word Jack slipped off his shoes and joined her on the bed. He wrapped his arms around her as she nestled into the crook of his arm. Lee had offered to stay for as long as they needed to and watch over Annabelle and Logan.

"Do you want something stronger for the pain," he asked knowing that she wouldn't accept anything,

"I'm okay." She answered closing her eyes once more.

"What can I do?"

"You're doing it. Relax Jack, really I'm okay."


End file.
